Unforgettable Love Story

This is a conversation that occurred in the comment of my blog Evolution of a Soul. It is such an important topic and the debate/discussion brings up many good points that I thought it deserved its own blog so that many people would read it. There is a lot of very good information contained in the comments of my blogs. I have many friends with fantastic insight who add greatly to my blogs by their comments. There are the occasions like this one where I respond which usually means I am answering an important question or clarifying a misunderstanding. If you are on a path of self-healing it would serve you well to read such comments.

+Magdalin+ and I did not always agree, but even when we thought we disagreed, the more we wrote the more we realized we were on the same page just articulating our experiences in different ways. I found +Magdalin+ to be intelligent, experienced in the art of counseling others and to have a lot to offer. Perhaps you will even favor her perspective, if so you might contact her for friendship or her counseling services.

This conversation has been re-ordered slightly so as to match up the point-counterpoints made more clearly. Some of the conversation was removed only because it was more about being polite to each other and not about the topic at hand. I also added some extra clarification as well. If you wish to see the full conversation in the original context it occurred then do read it in my blog Evolution of a Soul.

+Magdalin+

“…My experiences has led me to know that reality and why things happen or, do not happen, is much more complicated than the laws of attraction or detraction. I believe in living according to right principles and practices that can align me with the Divine Source (God), and lead me into the insights necessary to know the proper solution and answer, as it fits each situation. I believe that when you abide in a state of goodness (that being your immediate destiny) it is easy to attract good things and then, because of that, believe that it was your mind’s capacity rather than your present life state to acquire good. Positive thinking is always good, and it should be a practice we apply continuously. But positive thinking alone does not create. It rather propels one to continue striving for the best, for the better. Feelings are not wrong as long as they don’t control you and you are in control of them. When your feelings become a driving force than you must evaluate how they may be affecting your life, your functioning, your purpose. Thoughts and feelings describe where you are mentally and emotionally and can only become a block if they stop you from doing right, from making right choices, and decisions, from reasoning properly, from becoming a better person, from influencing your actions, relationships in negative ways, from leading you down the wrong path, etc…”

+Magdalin+ you said, “I believe in living according to right principles and practices that can align me with the Divine Source (God), and lead me into the insights necessary to know the proper solution and answer, as it fits each situation.”

It makes me wonder if you and others do not realize that what I am teaching is precisely what you have said. How do you know if you are living according to right principals and practices? Did you read what those are in a book? Did someone tell you what those RIGHT principals and practices are? Because no one can do that, it would be an infinitely long book of rules and exceptions to the rules.

“Well, you are semi-correct. I agree, that would be an infinitely long book. But in order for yourself to become that Life Book, you must become a student of all kinds of books first. And then, take what you learn and apply it in writing your own book as you go along….”

What I am teaching is how each person can tell for themselves, without a book of rules, what RIGHT principals and practices are as it fits each situation. Your feelings are your guide. If you are feeling bad, you are NOT thinking/being/speaking/doing/living RIGHT principals and practices. This is simplicity itself. All the rest that I say is to help make sense of that basic philosophy.

“Well, your feelings should not be your guide unless you have mastered your thoughts and they are of Light only. I know many people who feel great while doing all the wrong things, and having all the wrong thoughts. Learning to do right can create pressure, distress, frustration, anger, sadness etc. As anything new that you need to learn to apply or do and while training yourself you feel distressed it is the same with learning to do right. So if you go with your feelings only, you will never try to do right if it feels bad. You will choose to remain how you are until you are confronted with a situation where you must change regardless of how you feel.”

So many people get guidance in so many different ways…some see colors, some hear angels speak to them, others follow the bible or some other book, others talk to God directly…but what is common amongst ALL people? FEELINGS! We ALL have feelings. They are the common guide that everyone can depend upon having available to them.

Both positive and negative thinking creates…It is not just positive thinking that creates. Thought is our creative power. But what is it that you create? Your feelings guide you and tell you the answer.

I never said feeling were wrong. I never said feelings are wrong. FEELINGS ARE NEVER WRONG! I do not, nor will I ever teach that feelings are wrong. FEELINGS ARE ALWAYS CORRECT! They guide us and tell us where we are…on track or off track, with God or moving away from God.

I repeated that so that it would be very clear for everyone. Not to make an example of +Magdalin+ whose comments I am responding to. I know some people think I am knocking feelings. Some people misread what I teach quite often.

You also said “Feelings are not wrong as long as they don’t control you and you are in control of them.” (which is one of the reason I wrote the above statements as well as those below)

How can a feeling control you? IT IS Your thoughts that control you. You might think, I don’t like this feeling so I will not do that. Or you might think, I don’t like how it feels to look foolish so I will hide this thing I did, I will blame it on someone else, I will do further wrongs to cover up something wrong I did. But that is thought controlling you, not feelings. The person is simply running away from the feelings and not understanding that the source of their feelings is their thoughts.

Women tend to confuse this much more than men. IN GENERAL Women worship feelings and men worship thinking. When women approach my writing some of them to want to defend feelings and say things like, “Feelings just are, you need to accept them.” This is simply because they do not understand what I am saying about feelings. And they do not understand the role their thoughts play in creating feelings. Men need to get more in touch with their feeling and understand that their feelings are guiding them in regards to the quality of their thoughts.

“Again we seem to semi-agree as your comment sounds similar to what I am saying. Your thoughts do control you. But one can feel in certain ways and in response, unconsciously do certain things, and has made no connection between the thought/feeling/action they are experiencing and responding to. Ultimately it takes, many times, work to understand the thought behind the feeling and action. Then it requires honest self evaluation and examination as to whether one’s thoughts are according to “right” practices and/or principles that will guide them to a better place, state, activity etc.

“Now again knowing what is right or, wrong is not always as easy because situations that occur are not black and white and one must become examinant, insightful, introspective about right and wrong. This is where seeking knowledge, understanding, and wisdom, even from books that pertain to such needed understanding is a good approach. After all, education is a valued experience that helps all who pursue it in any way. But I also believe as I have practiced the inner spiritual path in pursuit of God (the Divine Source) to learning right and doing right and to becoming “right”.”

My friend +Magdalin+ I appreciate your comment. I feel that it speaks volumes about your integrity and desire to be a kind and loving person and that you have a close connection to God and it says that you are a wise woman.

However I am nit-picking at it to clarify this relationship between thoughts and feelings so that there is NO confusion as to what I am teaching and what I am NOT teaching…because what I am really teaching is one of the most powerful things you can know about Life. It will transform anybody’s life for the better if they really take it in and work with it and practice.

Yes everyone should aim to become that Life Book, and they should become a student of all kinds of books and teachings…it will save them a lot of time and lifetimes of trial and error.

I will agree with you that people who have NOT mastered their thought will have a difficult time understanding their feelings. But still they must aim to master their thoughts. It is exercise and must begin somewhere. MISTAKES WILL BE MADE! But this is the design of Life. We must learn from our mistakes. People who are not willing to do so will not wade so deeply into blogs like mine or yours. They won’t see the point and they will stumble through life in a drunken stupor.

If you are paying attention to your thoughts when you feel pressure, distress, frustration, anger, or sadness, you will find it is due to focus, expectations and attachments on a certain outcome. It does not come from the act of using your feelings as your guide. It is your focus on having a certain outcome, and shifting from one idea about how to get that outcome to the next two or three ideas until your run out of ideas and realize that none of your ideas have worked or will ever work to get you that outcome…then you will be frustrated. That is the process that causes these negative feelings. I still maintain that feelings are our absolutely accurate guide.

If you deliberately refocus your mind on something completely different, something that causes your feelings to change, you will see that your thoughts do affect your feelings and you have the power to change your feelings. If you can do it once, you can do it again, and you can make it a regular practice. After all, no one really wants to feel bad, not for a long period of time. The whole point of chasing money, sex, drugs, prestige, etc is because we think we will be happy when we get it. If we learn we can make ourselves happy by simply changing our mind then we have discovered a very great power that resides within us.

I will expand on one point just a little…when we feel grief, or anger, or some other strong negative emotion it does feel good to cry or scream or to lash out physically. We don’t even want to try to refocus our mind. This is necessary to release a great deal of pent up energy that has accumulated in our physical body. The longer we entertained negative thinking, the greater the emotional energy that will accumulate. We should allow ourselves this outlet to release this energy but not prolong it.

To be continued…

Love and Blessings,

Michael Skowronski

Author of Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story

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