A friend wrote me with his story and asked…
“I have 2 kids of my own, ages 1 and 3, and I also watch my brothers kids who are 4 and 5. All 4 are girls. Usually my one year old wakes me up around 9:00 am. Then the other 3 usually wake up by 10:00, but not today, the one year old woke me up around 9:00 like usual, but I noticed her sister was gone. When I went in the living room I found that other three older girls had been awake for a while and already destroyed the living room, kitchen, and their bedroom. Seriously it was a disaster.
“Now, usually my brother and his girlfriend tell me that I am too nice to them. Usually that’s true…I let them get away with a lot, I hate punishing them. But today I flipped out and there was a lot of spankings and yelling. Inside I just felt completely powerless, and I wished that there was some kinda magic or something that would just make them be good.
“Please Michael, aid me with some of your Wonderful Advice. – Joshua”
Oh this is quite a dilemma you have presented. Was there any guilt for flipping out and losing control…for spanking these girls and yelling? That would be what I would have felt.
First of all I want to admit that up to the age of fifty I have only been a step father to two boys for three years and had just a little bit of experience with other children over these years. Also I will admit that during those times I was a bit on the lenient side until the stress got to me then I would lose it. And a Scorpio losing it is not a pretty sight…or perhaps I should say a frightening sight. I will admit that I have overdone it and lost control, but I also never did anything that would warrant child protection services getting involved. However for myself guilt was there and I knew I was out of line. I have made great progress in reprogramming myself and overcoming my anger but still, without children in my daily life it has been a long time since I have been put to the test.
If you want some sort of magic that will make children behave I think you are out of luck. This is a very fluid situation, all children are different. We ALL have free will and that goes for children too. Also children are really souls just like you in a younger body than you. But who is really more mature, you or the child? That would depend on the number of lifetimes each of you have had, how much you each have learned, how deeply you each decided to go into the darkness, and how far you have come back into the light. So keep this perspective in mind when dealing with children.
(There WAS much more to this blog but it has been removed…
see details below)
Click here to read the comments left by those that read the full blog. You will see that MANY people found a lot of help in the content of my blogs. Unfortunately I had to remove the content of most of my blogs for the reason stated further below.You can continue reading my blogs by joining my relationship healing group, the details of which you can find at http://RelationshipAdviceSite.com By joining my healing group you will get…
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I spent more than a year doing free spiritual and relationship counseling on MySpace. If you review the comments on my blogs (which I have left intact for you to review) you can see that I have spent a great deal of time, covered a lot of topics, AND A LOT OF PEOPLE WERE HELPED BY MY ADVICE. I have really enjoyed it and thank all of you who have participated. Many of my friends have touched my heart very deeply. I love you all!
Unfortunately doing it for free has resulted in me not being able to write new blogs or serve as many people as I would like too. Doing it for free has caused me to maintain a fulltime job with not enough time to coach those people who want and need the help I have to offer. By charging for my services I will eventually be able to quit my job and do my spiritual counseling work full time.
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Love and Blessings,
Author of Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story
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