The Art of Counseling Others
I have had the pleasure to listen in on at least four hundred different channeled coaching sessions offered by more than five different channelers. They all have one thing in common. The entity being channeled did not listen to every minute detail of the problem. The client would be cut off within a short time and counseled on clarifying their energy.
I used to get upset when I, or someone else was cut off while describing all the gory details of the problem. I thought it was necessary; how could these entities know how to solve this problem without the details? The outside events seem so real and seem to need a solution designed specifically for it.
The solution to all problems is the same. Turn your focus away from the problem and towards anything else that feels good. Most people find this too simplistic and don’t even give this a real try or they are not in touch with their own feelings enough to know what feeling good feels like.
It takes practice. You have old habits of tolerating pain and discomfort. To break a habit and establish a new one takes deliberate effort. If you don’t understand how something will help you then you are unlikely to put effort into trying. This is why the depth teaching is necessary. This is why books written by people who have mastered these life skills are essential reading to anyone who seeks to grow past the challenges they face in their life.
Once you do turn your attention to something that feels better the Universe is free to sort out your problem for you. When you need to get involved your Source will let you know and guide you to the actions you need to take. But you have to be in touch with your feelings and become aware of what you are thinking to follow this guidance.
In my own life I no longer allow myself to dwell on those minute details either. The progress I have made since I ceased this activity has accelerated tremendously. The focus of the counseling I do is the same. It breaks the traditional counseling model of sitting and listening to the client for an hour and giving very little advice. That only keeps the client stuck in the vibration of the problem.
Even traditional hypnotherapy sessions hold the same pitfalls. They take the client to the origination of the problems and stir up the old feelings for the purpose of expressing and releasing them. They are not released! They have only been brought back to life.
This is a vibrational universe; everything is matched up by vibration. Discussing the problem only adds more energy to it and draws more experiences that match this vibration to those involved in the discussion. We want solutions, not more problems.
When I was thirty years old I read a book that told me how people just want to be heard. They did not want you to solve their problems for them; they just needed a compassionate ear to listen.
Okay, I can understand how this helps the individual feel worthy and important because someone is willing to listen. But that is only teaching them to get undivided attention by talking about problems. In other words you are asking the Universe to deliver you more problems so that you can talk about them in order to receive attention.
One of the reasons that listening was perceived to be better than offering solutions was that too many people were offering solutions from the wrong perspective. They too believed that the problem existed in the outside world and the solutions they offered were about doing battle with the problem. The person with the problem was only receiving statements that told them how they were doing the wrong thing and they should have done such-and-such instead.
We do create our reality through the attractive nature of our vibration. By being aware of the vibrations we are creating with our thoughts and attention we really can create the reality we want. This is where our power lies, and it is a very real power indeed.
It is important to assure the client that they are worthy, lovable and perfect the way they are. There is nothing wrong with them and this is one of the keys. They may have habits of thoughts and actions that need to be changed, but they are simply life skills that need to be practiced and learned such that new habits of thought are formed. It never ends, we never run out of time to try again and improve on our last attempts.
Kind and Loving Regards,
Michael Skowronski
Author of Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story
Tags: hypnotherapy, coaching, problem solving, counseling
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December 27th, 2007 at 7:38 pm
I question this not to argue it, but to understand it better.
“Turn your focus away from the problem and towards anything else that feels good. — Once you do turn your attention to something that feels better the Universe is free to sort out your problem for you.”
And, then there is the part about “energy” and it’s role within this all…
If something is heavily troubling us, we are to turn our attention away and toward anything else that feels good… as in ignoring the problem, and the universe will sort it out for us? What if the problem needs our attention? And, if by turning away from it (when/how it makes us feel ‘bad’) and toward something that makes us feel good instead (maybe temporarily) — when we turn our attention back to it, because we must (a lot of problems can’t be ignored) and we feel ‘bad’ again… do we simply turn away and ignore the problem again, just to feel ‘good’ again? Or, are there some things we must push through, no matter how they make us feel, to resolve them? Maybe I’m missing the part about “energy” — as we need to change our energy (lessen it’s negativity) before tackling a problem? Or, is it sort of the theory of ‘Let Go and Let God’? I was hoping you could clarify this for me, as there are things in my life that require my attention, causing stress and worry and sometimes grief, that I can’t ignore… and, it’s wearing. And, my ways aren’t helping myself or protecting others in my life from my frustrations and grief.
Thanks
December 28th, 2007 at 3:40 am
Woo Hoo!!! We are on a roll today! I have received so many great questions and comments on my blogs…questions that most people should be asking but I am not sure why they are not. So good on you Caryl!
What is energy? Where does it come from? How do we measure it?
Well I am not sure how to describe what energy is, except that it is the creative force behind existence. It is what makes thing take shape and form; it is what makes things go!
Energy comes from our thoughts. We measure it with our feelings.
When you have a problem, to focus on it in a “Whoa is me” sort of way does not help. It blocks out intuition. It blocks out the guidance the Universe is trying to give to you but you are unable to receive.
When facing a problem you must do what you have to do. But you do not have to focus on how much it sucks. You can focus on anything else. If you do not know what to do, then do nothing. That actually does work. How many times have you taken action, the wrong action, and wasted your time, your money, your energy or some other resources? Then you are further behind. I am sure you must have had this experience, more than once.
When you let go and let God, when you lighten up and feel good, then intuition can enter into the picture. Then you will be inspired to take action that actually gets you somewhere.
Most problems are only problems because you define them as such. In reality they are Life giving you what you created, giving you what you have asked for. If you are paying attention you will learn what it is you created with your past thinking. You will learn how your energy has attracted certain events. And you will learn what your mind habitually thinks of such events.
I had a wife died of cancer. Was that a problem? It felt like one at the time. But then I ended up living in Australia for five years and became enlightened in the process. Living in Australia would not have happened if I was still living with Kathryn. Enlightenment came due to the suffering I underwent, suffering that helped me to see what it was I was missing. Having to stand on my own also contributed greatly to the wisdom that grew in my life. This would not have occurred if Kathryn was still in my life, if it did, it would have taken far longer because I depended on her so heavily. I know the experiences I had that lead me there would not have happened with her still in my life. She had to be absent for them to occur. So was it a problem, or was my thoughts about her death the real problem?
I am certain you can feel good while cleaning the toilets, sitting in prison, getting divorced, loosing a loved one to death, being physically ill, being deported from a country you love while at the same time loosing $20K worth of property. I know because all that has happened to me. What other problems could be so great as to cause such distress?
Some of this takes time and experience to understand why it works. But I am telling you it does. I am also telling you this is precisely what ALL masters teach. We suffer due to our attachments to outcomes, to people, places and things. Learn how to find pleasure in the simplest life. Learn how to find pleasure sitting alone with nothing to do. Then everything else is easy. Everything else is a gift and nothing of real value can ever be taken away.
Love and Blessings,
Michael Skowronski