A woman lied to her husband about making their car payments. Of course it came out later and now there is great turmoil in their lives. What relationship advice would you give this couple?
The following phrase comes to mind when giving relationship advice, “Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.”
The reason is because this woman, if she is paying attention, has certainly learned something. The man too. Specific relationship advice may not be needed. But overall personal growth and understanding are certainly needed for these two people…otherwise they would not be making such big mistakes. Yet perhaps right now they do need specific relationship advice for handling this specific relationship problem. Like a hungry man, its hard to learn how to fish when you are hungry…so give the fish but then teach the skill of fishing.
Specific Relationship Advice - Eat This Fish
The wife needs to sincerely apologize and make it right by taking care of the financial problem she created. The husband needs to love her anyways and try to discover how and if he helped create this situation. Did he somehow leave her desperate for money? Blame won’t help now. Seeking to understand and improve your responses to life will.
Live and learn. When people try to make it about right and wrong, when condemning judgment enters the picture much pain and suffering is sure to follow.
Own what you have done. Make sure you learn from it. Evaluate how it made him feel, how it made you feel, what it did to your own self esteem, how you lost trust in his eyes, how it will feel the next time he questions you and perhaps does not trust you are telling the truth.
But do not condemn yourself or him. Instead come to understand yourself better and the cause and effect nature of life. Reprogram yourself so the habits of thought and action that caused this situation no longer occur.
Relationships are very difficult when we have not come to understand ourselves or life. This is why I lead a Relationship Healing Group and have produced a 4 hour audio program called The Ultimate Guide to Relationship Healing.
Having a coach to help you understand life, yourself and your relationships better is one of the best investments you can make in yourself. DO IT, and you will be fed for all of your life times! (Yes plural, life times!)
Author of Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story
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