Unforgettable Love Story

We live in a truly great era. The world IS falling apart, and this is a great thing! Why is it great? Because the way it was structured it wasn’t working, not for most people, and now we can restructure in a way that does work for ALL people. Read this blog and you will understand what I mean.

I have been a professional software engineer for thirty years. In my business I put various tools together to solve problems in an automated way…we call this software. There has never been a problem presented to me that was suited for a computer that I could not solve. In fact in my career I solved MANY problems that I was told could not be solved with the technology that existed at the time.

I am not the only person skilled at designing solutions to solve problems; I found during my career that there are many others who also have this skill and who had very different approaches to solving the same problems. It took a lot of effort for me to let go of my attachment to how the problems got solved. As I matured I learned that working as a team and listening to the ideas of others usually resulted in better software solutions.

So please understand…even though I am presenting my vision, my ideas (actually I feel these are divinely inspired ideas so I would like to give credit to God for them), I know I don’t have all the answers and I believe that the input of other members of the team of humanity would result in a better solution.

I do relate to these efforts as exercise in re-engineering the systems of our society. Virtually any problem we face in the world today has already been solved somewhere at sometime on a small scale…these solutions are the tools that we have to work with…tools that we know work. We can replicate these solutions on a larger scale anytime we choose if we have the will to do so. I believe the ways in which our world is falling apart will increase the will to do so.

We have many tools at our disposal. The real problem is that these tools have been hacked together in shoddy way, for the benefit of a minority, and thus we have the suffering that we see in our world today. But what if we broke the relationship between the tools as they currently exist, and reconnect all of the pieces in a new way, an intelligent way, in a way that is designed to solve all of our major social and economic problems? What if we take into account all of the people on the planet this time…not just the rich and powerful? This is why the world falling apart is a very great thing. It will be much easier to convince people to re-architect our world because we can clearly see it is necessary!

So now it becomes a simple matter of deciding…

*What are the problems?
*What tools do we have?
*How do we rewrite the program?

Problems to solve, needs to fulfill (for everyone)…

*Enough Nutritious Food
*Clean Water
*Comfortable Housing
*Health Care
*Clean Renewable Energy
*Transportation
*Care for the Environment
*Education
*Violence and Corruption
*Waste of Resources
*Etc…

Tools…

*People and Their Labor, Intellect and Skills
*Social Systems and Organizations that Achieve Results
*Machines
* Animals
* Plants
* Biological Functions

To be continued..

Love and Blessings,

Michael Skowronski

Author of Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story

Popularity: 4% [?]

I got the following email from a friend and am answering it here in this blog…with her permission of course.

Hey Michael,

I am in a sort of internship I believe. I still have some issues of my own. Most of the abuse I have sustained was of the psychological kind and was done at the time when I was most absorbent (childhood). So… I feel that I have forgiven but that my next step is to accept that I will know this same harmful intent in others.

I think I am what is called a “sensitive”. I respond to the feelings of others…and yes, I have always said that I can feel the feelings of others. My problem is that I am not always able to determine that the feelings are not necessarily directed at me; therefore I ‘think’ they are. As a result I become angry or hurt.

In a way, that is the same as saying I feel responsible and that is not healthy.

I am NOW able to acknowledge when I feel extremely uncomfortable around others; when I sense their toxicity; their ambivalence.

Munga, you made a very good observation here. First of all it does not matter if it was directed at you or not. What matters is do you really deserve the energy being projected? Do you know? Are you clear enough to know?

Most people “think” that the words and perceived attitude of others are directed at them. This is a very standard assumption we all make. I still catch this happening in myself when my wife becomes unhappy. When she finally gets around to explaining it to me, it is due to something else. Either she is physically uncomfortable for some reason, or she is worrying about something else or somebody else in her family. Now my wife is pretty honest and owns her own stuff, but other people are not so honest, or worse don’t even understand their own minds and do not even know what it is they are thinking about. Other people may even truly believe YOU are the problem of the moment, and they project that energetically upon you or they project it quite vocally with words. So this causes most people to doubt themselves.

This is the point of work that needs to be done in many people who are sensitive and who will develop their sensitivity in the future. We need to be clear at all times about ourselves, who we are, what our intentions are, what we think and what we do. And when we do make mistakes, out of habit, and go against our true intention, we need to recognize that we have done so and take the steps necessary to reprogram our habits such that we come into alignment with our true intentions. Which I would assume is, to be loving and harmless in all of our thoughts and deeds. If that is not your intention, then guilt will surely follow you all the days of your lives!

UnforgettableBook.com

“THE BOOK IS SPECTACULAR…THOUGH I FIND MYSELF SOMETIMES LAUGHING..SOMETIMES CRYING AND OTHER TIMES I AM LAUGHING AND CRYING SIMULTANEOUSLY, OVERALL, I AM ENJOYING IT VERY MUCH…AND YOU’RE RIGHT MIKE IT IS A LOVE AND SPIRTUAL GROWTH STORY.”

– Granny Queen

Full book reviews can be found on Amazon.com and BarnesAndNoble.com

People think perfection is not possible. They say, “We are only human.” But when a person realizes that perfection is very simple then it becomes possible. I say that perfection is making it your intention to be loving and harmless in every thought, word, and deed and reprogramming your habits of thought, word and deed that go against that intention. For me making a mistake such as spilling the milk, or hitting the gas pedal when you meant to hit the breaks or some other such human mistake does not mean a person is not perfect. But to remain loving and harmless in the midst of anything that occurs, intentional or accidental, that is perfection.

When your intention is to be loving and harmless, and your habits nearly always reflect that intention, then it is easy to not take the energetic or spoken resentments and accusations of others as if you are at fault. If your intentions and actions are clear, then begin to remind yourself of this every time someone near you gets upset and you will soon find yourself at peace in these sorts of situations.

The other problem we face is we want the other person to understand us, to understand our intentions and to change how they view us and our actions. If this understanding does not come for them automatically it is not likely to come at all. We can argue with people, and try to convince them, but unfortunately even if they pretend to be convinced, in most cases they will hold on to their perceived experience and hold you responsible for whatever negative feelings they have. This may seem like a sad realization and a sad outcome, but ultimately our awakening and our clarity does lead us to increasingly better circumstances for ourselves. It really does not matter what other people think about us.

Recently, I had to get another job, for financial reasons. I have had to change jobs 3 times in the last three years. I am not someone who does this… I would like to find my niche and hang in there; my personality is such that I am loyal and tenacious. But…due to some odd circumstances, I have had to move on and continue to find work in other places. I have a lot to give to a company.

Odd circumstances, hmmm…sounds like the hands of God at work here. Didn’t you say you were in internship? Internship for what…running a corporation or healing the planet? Those who are waking up are indeed in an internship. And we are here at this moment in time to transform this planet. These shakeups we experience when we are so very close to enlightenment are those things that will shake loose those old habits of thought word and deed that no longer serve us. These shakeups give us the training necessary to understand what we are up against, and what our true job in this world is.

I found a job that looked like something I would like. With the right training, I could run this office like a well oiled machine. They hired me on the spot! I was pleased. But before the interview took place, I noticed that one of the co-workers (my equal) was very hostile towards me. Not overtly but passively. I felt terribly uncomfortable but kept telling myself not to be “paranoid”.

Be careful, be watchful, and be aware when you feel this sort of thing. Certainly the hostility is there. Not everyone wants their work environment to run like a well oiled machine. When they slack off, when they need time for themselves, it will be noticed. They will be resentful that you have taken this away from them. It is unfortunate but most companies don’t just give employees enough free time in their day to tend to their own needs. Thus we all create it and hide it in the cracks of the disorganization that exist.

I have been on the job for three weeks and the other person up and quit because she was so intimidated by my presence. This was so upsetting to me. I had done nothing to her but get hired! I am shy and reserved but friendly and kind… I know this about myself. I tried to be “nicer” to her, sensing her insecurities, but that only seemed to add fuel to the fire.

Problem is, if I am in the workplace; there is nowhere to go… there is often no choice but to hang in there. I’m sure others will say, “Quit the job” but that is not an option for me at this point. I just started!!! I kept thinking that this situation was one that I caused.

Yes, you are the cause. Your light is shinning too brightly and you give those who cower in the darkness nowhere to hide. So perhaps you should shrink back into the darkness, lie, cheat, and do a few evil deeds every once in a while so that you can be accepted. NOT! :^)

What is your job? Is it possible that in the course of your duties you may reveal something this person did that was wrong like some sort of embezzlement? Or were they frightened they would be seen as incompetent or too slow? Or is it that just having a nice person around made them sick?

I do know this…people are frightened, people are jealous, and people have low self-esteem. There are many reasons for this, but primarily and foremost is that it is NOT their intention to be loving and harmless in all of their thoughts, words, and deeds. If you dig deep enough into the reason they have low-self esteem you will find this issue is within them. For example, someone who has been abused could claim the low-self esteem is due to their abuse, but I say it is due to their desire for justice and judgment about what has been done to them and it could also be unhealed judgment of self due to their own past harmful and unloving intentions. Of course it is considered normal to want vengeance, but still it is the cause of the low self-esteem. We still have to get past our judgments if we ever expect to feel good about ourselves.

When your intention is to be loving and harmless then you know who you are and you feel good about yourself no matter what anyone says or does. This causes healthy self-esteem. It occurs over time as events occur and you witness yourself consistently responding in loving ways. Over time you receive internal guidance and you recognize your oneness with God and All That Is.

I know that is weird but you must know that women truly have different issues than men. With women, it is often about outward appearances; there is a vanity there in addition to everything else. This co-worker was morbidly obese, but then again, the three other employees (including boss) are also obese.

Certainly men and women face different issues; it is not so weird since we are biologically and socially different. A person who is generally considered physically beautiful does have to face the jealousy of those who are not generally considered physically beautiful. When the inner beauty is not there either, that jealousy comes out and can be felt.

Living in this world with other hurt people is not easy. There are no quick or fool proof solutions. I would love to be able to rise above the sickness in others, but I have a feeling that none of us is ever really healed, we just get better.

It is not easy, but it is possible…your healing can occur in spite of others who remain wounded! There are no quick solutions, but there are fool proof solutions. I just gave them above. It takes time, and it sounds to me like you are already on your way.

People are hurt, people are dysfunctional, and these are the facts of life. These wounded and dysfunctional people do seem to get in our way, they do seem to interfere with our lives, but we can change our focus and we can have peace and happiness no matter what is occurring in the outer world. I offer much advice along these lines in my other blogs such as Drowning in Worry and Reprogramming Yourself just to name a few. Over the course of our journey through life we gain much from even these experiences that challenge us.

When I realized that the co worker literally was directing HATE towards me, I tried talking to her in a tactful and gentle way. I told her I wanted us to get along and even enjoy working together. I felt good about what I said to her and felt I had done so in a loving and heartfelt way. Obviously, I should not have spoken about it to her because she merely became more resentful.

As you have found, most of the time talk does not cut it. You can’t talk your way out of being who you are. She hates you for who you are, a mirror that shows her who she is, which is a person she does not like. You are not willing and should not be willing to paint over your mirror with a pretty picture of who she is. Even your tactful and gentle talk mirrors back to her her own hatred and inability to be kind and loving.

I am not an overt, exciting person. I can’t walk in a room and uplift others by giving them extreme praise or making them feel wonderful. My personality is very calm and low key… but I smile and am friendly. This is the part I felt I had failed at. This is when, for a moment, I wished I were a different sort of person… one who could “win friends and influence people”.

To win friends and influence people by words alone or attempts to make them feel wonderful is a manipulation, it is fake and it is an energy that you do not want to engage in. When you are filled with your own sense of your true self, when your self-esteem is healthy and strong, when you are not frightened by the hatred, jealousy, and woundedness of others, when you trust life and that you ARE in the right place at the right time, you will walk into a room and uplift others by your mere presence. No words will be necessary. And those who are not uplifted will be those who are frightened by your light.

I think that I am a help to many of my friends… that they sense they are safe with me (and I with them) and we are able to help each other. But, that is not necessarily true of all relationships.

Agreed! You cannot help everyone. Not everyone will respond to you in the way you would like them to. Accept that and move on.

I wanted to be a help to my ex husband (while we were still married). (At first of course, I was very angry and showed my anger towards him). But after learning more, reading more, I tried to be loving and tolerant; knowing he suffered from alcoholism. But, to be honest, this change in me seemed to make things worse… now perhaps that is natural progression of alcoholism and nothing to do with me, but I was the one who had to eventually flee. Not for my life, but for my sanity. My already bruised ego hung perilously on the edge of a breakdown.

As we grow we must change our outer circumstances. It MUST occur and that is a good thing! We experience the pain of separation from the old, but wait…the new holds gifts for us. The new life circumstances contain many of the things we have been asking for.

I still question why my love wasn’t enough to help my ex. I still wonder why I have to “feel” the feelings of others. They only hurt for the most part.

Your love has helped, you just don’t see all the ways it has helped him yet. Your love wasn’t enough to “help” your ex because your ex has free choice. Your ex still has more to experience in the circumstances he chose for his life.

Do you have any thoughts on this? Or do you require money for your services? lol

Munga

I do not charge for my counseling services. I am especially grateful when someone allows me to be of service and allows me to post them in a blog so that others may be helped by the questions and answers.

Love and Blessings,
Michael Skowronski
Author of Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story
Also on Amazon.com and BarnesAndNoble.com…including awesome book reviews!

Popularity: 8% [?]

Where are you going in your life? Are you seeking heaven or hell?

If you are seeking hell, then judgment such as the title of this article will take you there quicker than the actions of those in the title. Wait now, don’t close off and run away…even if you differ in opinion, and you have a right to, for your sake read this full article and take it all in. Then experiment in your own life with these ideas and in time you will discover the truth. Are you willing to discover truth and move beyond belief?

If you are seeking heaven, if you are seeking a peaceful life, if you want to make this planet a safe place for our children to grow up in and play, then this article will show you how to create that in a very practical way.

First let’s get this point straight…Judgment, Hatred and Anger will take you to hell faster than anything I know of. Believe me I speak from personal experience. I have been working through these issues for many years now. I have made great progress and most people that really know me consider me quite advanced in how I handle difficult situations when compared to the majority of people in the world. But that is not good enough for me. I want perfection in my personality. I want never to respond or react in judgment, never in anger, and never in hatred. And I believe that is attainable based upon the progress I have already made and the shining examples set forth by other masters I have studied.

God gives us what we ask for. And for the last year I have been asking to heal this issue in me totally. And God has been answering my prayers in spades! In the last year events that triggered such strong negative emotion within me have been occurring ever more frequently, thus giving me the chance to work through my issues. Things like being setup by six people at Microsoft to be fired from my job, because they were jealous of me as published author. The games began after I advertised at work and having read at least some of my book they knew it would be successful. Another example is a housemate who was jealous of my relationship with my wife Shyni. She put dishwashing soap in our food when Shyni left the room, hoping I would fight with Shyni over the horrible meal. A different jealous housemate tormented us for weeks and tried to get us evicted from a home we had been renting a room in for six months. She had been there only two months, eventually after only a verbal confrontation from me, she called the police and claimed that I assaulted her (I certainly did not) and got me thrown into jail, twice…for a total of six days and four nights. And the list goes on.

Okay, so don’t worry. This is not the path I suggest you take. My goals are probably different from yours. Most people would simply like to have a life of peace, comfort, abundance and love. That is pretty simple to acquire and does not require such stringent work on self. My goal is Samadhi, divine and complete union with God, while still in the physical body. My goal is conscious control and ability to enter this state at will. Perhaps you think I am dreaming, but I have had a taste and I want more. Thus I am not afraid to face the darkness that still lives inside of me. I am in the process of reprogramming myself and I know that God will not give me anything that I cannot handle. To learn how to reprogram yourself click here …don’t be afraid to reprogram youself, you get to choose your own goals!

Getting back to the main point of this article…Judgment, Hatred and Anger will take you to hell faster than anything I know of. Believe me I speak from personal experience. During these extra difficult situations I found it difficult to keep my mind clear and loving. Judgment, Hatred and Anger all slipped in and took me for a ride. I lost control of my mind. Usually I am very much in control. Normally I let my feelings, especially negative emotions, alert me to the fact that I am thinking incorrectly. I stop my thoughts and deliberately go through my memories for more pleasant experiences to bask in until I feel good again. I do this all of the time and it works wonders! Peace returns and I have power and abilities beyond ordinary men…not a joke, I am totally serious.

But somehow, these extra difficult circumstances caused me to feel justified in my Judgment, Hatred and Anger. During these traumatic events I found it extremely difficult to change my focus. While sitting in jail I kept imagining myself beating that woman so badly that she would remember it for life. While in jail I had spoken to my wife, who was still in the house with that woman, and Shyni was being harassed without mercy, without me there to protect her. And it was not just the one housemate at this point; she had turned everyone else in the house against us too. So my mind was going crazy. Justifiable or not, my thoughts still ruined my experience of life while I contemplated them. They still pumped harmful chemicals into my bloodstream thus reducing my physical vitality and making me more prone to long term illnesses. I could feel it. I had not felt so horrible in years. Normally I am in a state of deep love, deep appreciation. Normally I am happy, peaceful, kind, and helpful. So the contrast was dramatic. A very clear lesson to me, and one I eventually worked through with much effort.

Our Judgments, Hatred and Anger have no benefit to us whatsoever. They will not benefit anyone in this world. They will only poison us, they will poison others. We will set a bad example for our children and those who look up to us. How many people lie in hospital beds right now suffering from cancer? It has reached epidemic proportions. I know people, I know them very well; most people hang out in Judgment, Hatred, and Anger way too often, way too long. Too much of the hormone cortisol is secreted into our blood stream at stressful times like this…cortisol has been linked to cancer and to Alzheimer’s disease. Do you want those diseases? Do you want to teach your children how to contract those diseases?

By contrast…our Love will heal everything that needs healing. Our compassion will help us see clearly what really can work to heal ourselves and our planet. Our acceptance of the trials and difficulties we co-create with God, through our own past erroneous programming and present negative thinking, will cleanse us of our sins, our negative karma will be washed away, our point of attraction will change such that we receive love and support and kindness from others. This too I have MUCH experience with. Please read my book and you find overwhelming evidence to this effect.

So if you feel justified in your Judgment, Hatred and Anger, please reflect back on what I am teaching you. We must all learn from our own experiences, this I understand. Go into judgment full force, get angry, hate…and feel how it feels. Do you like it? Do you attract beautiful things and events into your life when you are in Judgment? OBSERVE. And then Reprogram Yourself.

Even the Drug Addicts, even the Prostitutes, even the Child Molesters, even the liars and the cheaters, need the space to experience and understand life… And we must allow them to learn from their experience. We must help them, not hurt them. We must clear the logs out of our own eyes before we attempt to remove the splinters from theirs. We must own the pain in our own lives, the pain does not come from others; the pain comes from where and how we focus our minds. Keeping this lesson in mind may just rescue you from your next painful situation much faster. I hope it does. That is the reason I am sharing such personal information.

We are All One Being. I love myself. And I love You. Please be well.

Love and Blessings,
Michael Skowronski
Author of Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story

Popularity: 6% [?]

One of the most common things I hear people say about meditation is, “I have tried many times to sit down and meditate, but I just can’t seem to get my mind to be quiet. No matter what I do it never works, my mind just wanders off onto many other things. I wish I could be like others who love meditation and get so much out of it. But I just can’t do it!”

If this is your problem, join the club, you are amongst the majority and this blog is written especially for you. If you are seasoned in the art of meditation, practice regularly, and enjoy meditation, then please post a comment that expands on what I have to offer here. Other points of view especially from those who are seasoned mediators would be really helpful to those who are reading this blog.

Have you ever noticed that masters refer to meditation as a practice? Meditation is a Practice! It is exercise for the mind, an exercise to gain control of the mind. For most people the mind goes wherever it will, without control of the owner. It is like the servant is ruling the master. You need to become the master of your mind; you need to direct the mind in where it is going.

The mind controls your feelings. Whatever you think of has a corresponding feeling…is it a good feeling or a bad one? Law of Attraction brings to us people, things and events that match our thoughts. At a much deeper level, at the level that you and I are God, we actually create all of manifest creation, all of the dimensions of life including the physical dimension.

The human brain is not the same thing as the mind, however the brain and all manifest form is created by the mind. You can think of the brain like a computer, it has an operator. Sure the brain can process thought, but the thought that is injected into the brain, the input of ideas and creativity, comes from the mind. And of course mind is created by God, for those who wish to insist that God is creating everything.

The ultimate goal of meditation is to move beyond the physical into the non-physical and into divine union with God. This requires shutting down the mind and the various sensory inputs. I have read accounts from more than one master who says that the reason so many people report spiritual experiences on heavy doses of drugs is that they are essentially breaking the mind, cracking it open, and revealing a glimpse of the dimensions beyond the physical. But unfortunately most people under the influence of drugs have no control of their minds which is the reason the experiences are so out of control and even harmful. And then there are others, take Ram Das for example, who had some control of his mind and came back from his drug trips with very enlightening wisdom to share with the world. A person may be able to hide his inner insanity, to some degree, while clean and sober, but while under the influence of drugs or alcohol, he reveals the real chaotic state of his mind.

For most people, the goal of mediation should be to simply gain control of the mind in order to live a happy life. Do NOT worry about trying to still the mind completely. The reason I say that is because most people are satisfied to be in the physical world and enjoy physical things. Most people want things, perhaps wealth, perhaps fame, perhaps a hot lover, perhaps they want loving children and certainly physical comforts. Most people want life to run smooth and for changes to be under their control. Perhaps they would like to know God too, but they are content to wait until they die to discover heaven. There is nothing wrong with this. There is a reason we incarnate in the physical world, and that is to play in and experience what the physical world has to offer.

There is another type of person who is trying to perfect themselves, or pay off their karma, in order to escape the pain of physical life. (Now please do not get the idea that I am judging a person who thinks this way, or anyway for that matter. I am simply stating observations from my experience and NOT assigning a value to it.) My first efforts at meditation were highly motivated by this sort of thinking. This person may be trying to know God, but the reality of it is that they are still very much attached to the physical world and would be quite happy to be here if everything was going well in their life. They will certainly re-incarnate once again. Again for this sort of person, the goal of mediation should be to simply gain control of the mind in order to live a happy life.

Then there is the person who has done it all, or all that they really want to do, over many lifetimes. They have discovered that the external objects of the world hold little or no meaning for them. They have discovered that they can be happy anytime they wish. They can still enjoy things of the physical world, but they can also enjoy being without these things. They are no longer motivated by chasing these things; they are motivated by discovering who they really are and what their relationship to God is. This sort of person already has a great deal of control over their mind, they already understand the relationship between their thoughts and what those thoughts create and attract. The goal of mediation for this sort of person should be to still the mind in order to move beyond the physical while still having a physical body.

I want to stress that there is no right or wrong in being in any of these places in your eternal life. You are where you are, it is best to accept that and move through life content and happy to be who you are and where you are. It is all in divine perfection. Too many religious or spiritual people try to force a stage of practice or development on themselves or on another person that is not right for them and their place in their eternal life.

Also don’t take everything I am saying here as absolute truth. I am now discussing things that I have some experience with mixed in with some divinely inspired intuition and book knowledge based on the writings of masters far more advanced than I. Normally I like to teach from a safe place, from my own personal experience, but to do this topic justice I must go a little further out on a limb. I have reached some pretty deep states, but they were a gift from God and not a highly developed skill that I have. Those experiences were a prod to make me reach harder for a state of mind I previously doubted existed.

To be continued…

Love and Blessings,

Michael Skowronski

Author of Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story

Popularity: 3% [?]

This blog is a response to a friend’s request for help. She has given permission to use her question and my answer in this blog. Here is her question…

“For the past many months my life has being going downhill. I have been trying to save money for a house, but it is not working. I have left two jobs in the past four months; I have even tried to work from home, but still no luck. For past seven years I have been a single parent, left on my own with eight kids. My saving are going down not up! I just turned 46 recently and all of a sudden I had this burning desire for a man to come into my life, to comfort me, and to lift my burden of having to always be on my own. I would like to try and achieve something with someone special in my life, and for it not always to be me working hard and not getting very far. But Michael I am still waiting. I feel so lost and I don’t know what to do, or if I will ever find someone that will be true to me and my kids.”

Here is my answer to my friend and all of you who suffer from similar problems…

I have compassion for you. I understand how it can feel like there is no way out. But there is a way out, and it is all contained in your own mind and thought processes. First I want to echo back what you said with some comments, and then I will get down to suggesting a path of recovery.

“My life has being going downhill.” I expect that is how you think and feel about your life and yet it is NOT the true facts about it. Your life is what you have created, what you have hoped for, asked for, dreamed for, and worried for…yes worried. Our worrisome thoughts are just as creative as our conscious deliberate thoughts, even more so since they run on automatic pilot and often go on and on for hours on end, day after day…and the conscious ones are held for only a few moments at a time, and probably days go by before you remember to dream a creative dream. So you have created this and likewise you can create something else.

“Eight Kids…” Wow you did set yourself up for a challenge! How much help are the kids? How much trouble? With the right resources and training you have yourself a small company! How many of them are up for the challenge of creating an internet business? Or some other sort of business? Just an idea.

“If I will ever find someone that will be true to me and my kids…” That too can be a challenge, most men would run screaming from such a situation…or enjoy you for as long as they can and then leave once it starts getting difficult or serious…but still it is not impossible to attract a man who will help…but having a man to help is not the only way to cope with this situation. So don’t be attached to that idea.

“My saving are going down not up!” That would be a scary picture to look at for almost anyone. You need something positive to be looking at when it comes to finances and this is not it.

“I turned 46 recently.” I hope that does not mean that you believe it is all downhill from here, or “what can possibly be left in my life if I still don’t have a solid relationship?” It is easy to think that way, but that is one of the kinds of thoughts you must catch and stop.

“A man to come into my life, to comfort me,” no one else can truly comfort you. You must learn to comfort yourself. Indeed someone can comfort you for a moment, but it won’t be long before their comfort will cease to sooth you and your worried mind will take over and ruin your life experience once again. They too will become a burden and cease being a comfort.

“And to lift my burden of having to always be on my own.” Someone else cannot lift your burden. Your burden is your worry and your attachment to your desire for something you do not have, not your life circumstances. There is nothing wrong with desire, but
attachment to the where and when and how it will show up will definitely cause you to suffer. Hold desire without attachment.

“And achieve something with someone special in my life.” Having a partner can be nice, or it can be hell…but you want a partner that has strength and courage and honesty and integrity and ability…is that right? Be sure you are clear about what kind of partner you want, and NOT someone who has just been released from jail or who prefers to hang out at the local pub with his mates. If you are clear you won’t waste your time with the wrong sort of bloke and you will know when the right one comes along. If all you want is a little sex and play and touch for a few hours, nothing wrong with that by the way, then be clear about that when it happens and make sure he does not hang around like a lost puppy.

“And for it not always to be me working hard and not getting very far.” When the work is hard, it is because you are swimming upstream. When you stop doing that then it will stop being hard work. You must learn to go with the flow. It may seem like the flow is not taking you where you want, but that is impossible…the flow is always going where you want, it is your vision that is limited. You have not yet learned how to trust Life so you go against it.

“I am still waiting.” Stop waiting and make yourself happy now. Never wait, make yourself happy in each moment. Then with each passing day count the blessings you do have, and the desires that have become manifest. That is much more fun.

“I feel so lost and I don’t know what to do.” Your thoughts are attacking you. You believe something has gone horribly wrong in your life. Make yourself happy. That is what you need to do!

Okay so I have picked apart the things you have written. I hope I did not offend you, that was not my intention. You need to learn how to do this very same thing for yourself. First write out your problem, then go back and read your own words, your own thoughts, and find out what is wrong with them, but more importantly challenge them with thoughts that feel much better.

There are two approaches you can take…1) going after financial resources and a man to help…or 2) going after happiness. If you take approach 1 you will be waiting a long time to be happy. But if you take approach 2 YOU CAN BE HAPPY ANYTIME YOU WANT TO BE HAPPY! And you can still attract the financial resources and a man at the same time. So I suggest approach 2.

To be continued…

Love and Blessings,

Michael Skowronski

Author of Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story

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