Unforgettable Love Story

This is a conversation that occurred in the comment of my blog Evolution of a Soul. It is such an important topic and the debate/discussion brings up many good points that I thought it deserved its own blog so that many people would read it. There is a lot of very good information contained in the comments of my blogs. I have many friends with fantastic insight who add greatly to my blogs by their comments. There are the occasions like this one where I respond which usually means I am answering an important question or clarifying a misunderstanding. If you are on a path of self-healing it would serve you well to read such comments.

+Magdalin+ and I did not always agree, but even when we thought we disagreed, the more we wrote the more we realized we were on the same page just articulating our experiences in different ways. I found +Magdalin+ to be intelligent, experienced in the art of counseling others and to have a lot to offer. Perhaps you will even favor her perspective, if so you might contact her for friendship or her counseling services.

This conversation has been re-ordered slightly so as to match up the point-counterpoints made more clearly. Some of the conversation was removed only because it was more about being polite to each other and not about the topic at hand. I also added some extra clarification as well. If you wish to see the full conversation in the original context it occurred then do read it in my blog Evolution of a Soul.

+Magdalin+

“…My experiences has led me to know that reality and why things happen or, do not happen, is much more complicated than the laws of attraction or detraction. I believe in living according to right principles and practices that can align me with the Divine Source (God), and lead me into the insights necessary to know the proper solution and answer, as it fits each situation. I believe that when you abide in a state of goodness (that being your immediate destiny) it is easy to attract good things and then, because of that, believe that it was your mind’s capacity rather than your present life state to acquire good. Positive thinking is always good, and it should be a practice we apply continuously. But positive thinking alone does not create. It rather propels one to continue striving for the best, for the better. Feelings are not wrong as long as they don’t control you and you are in control of them. When your feelings become a driving force than you must evaluate how they may be affecting your life, your functioning, your purpose. Thoughts and feelings describe where you are mentally and emotionally and can only become a block if they stop you from doing right, from making right choices, and decisions, from reasoning properly, from becoming a better person, from influencing your actions, relationships in negative ways, from leading you down the wrong path, etc…”

+Magdalin+ you said, “I believe in living according to right principles and practices that can align me with the Divine Source (God), and lead me into the insights necessary to know the proper solution and answer, as it fits each situation.”

It makes me wonder if you and others do not realize that what I am teaching is precisely what you have said. How do you know if you are living according to right principals and practices? Did you read what those are in a book? Did someone tell you what those RIGHT principals and practices are? Because no one can do that, it would be an infinitely long book of rules and exceptions to the rules.

“Well, you are semi-correct. I agree, that would be an infinitely long book. But in order for yourself to become that Life Book, you must become a student of all kinds of books first. And then, take what you learn and apply it in writing your own book as you go along….”

What I am teaching is how each person can tell for themselves, without a book of rules, what RIGHT principals and practices are as it fits each situation. Your feelings are your guide. If you are feeling bad, you are NOT thinking/being/speaking/doing/living RIGHT principals and practices. This is simplicity itself. All the rest that I say is to help make sense of that basic philosophy.

“Well, your feelings should not be your guide unless you have mastered your thoughts and they are of Light only. I know many people who feel great while doing all the wrong things, and having all the wrong thoughts. Learning to do right can create pressure, distress, frustration, anger, sadness etc. As anything new that you need to learn to apply or do and while training yourself you feel distressed it is the same with learning to do right. So if you go with your feelings only, you will never try to do right if it feels bad. You will choose to remain how you are until you are confronted with a situation where you must change regardless of how you feel.”

So many people get guidance in so many different ways…some see colors, some hear angels speak to them, others follow the bible or some other book, others talk to God directly…but what is common amongst ALL people? FEELINGS! We ALL have feelings. They are the common guide that everyone can depend upon having available to them.

Both positive and negative thinking creates…It is not just positive thinking that creates. Thought is our creative power. But what is it that you create? Your feelings guide you and tell you the answer.

I never said feeling were wrong. I never said feelings are wrong. FEELINGS ARE NEVER WRONG! I do not, nor will I ever teach that feelings are wrong. FEELINGS ARE ALWAYS CORRECT! They guide us and tell us where we are…on track or off track, with God or moving away from God.

I repeated that so that it would be very clear for everyone. Not to make an example of +Magdalin+ whose comments I am responding to. I know some people think I am knocking feelings. Some people misread what I teach quite often.

You also said “Feelings are not wrong as long as they don’t control you and you are in control of them.” (which is one of the reason I wrote the above statements as well as those below)

How can a feeling control you? IT IS Your thoughts that control you. You might think, I don’t like this feeling so I will not do that. Or you might think, I don’t like how it feels to look foolish so I will hide this thing I did, I will blame it on someone else, I will do further wrongs to cover up something wrong I did. But that is thought controlling you, not feelings. The person is simply running away from the feelings and not understanding that the source of their feelings is their thoughts.

Women tend to confuse this much more than men. IN GENERAL Women worship feelings and men worship thinking. When women approach my writing some of them to want to defend feelings and say things like, “Feelings just are, you need to accept them.” This is simply because they do not understand what I am saying about feelings. And they do not understand the role their thoughts play in creating feelings. Men need to get more in touch with their feeling and understand that their feelings are guiding them in regards to the quality of their thoughts.

“Again we seem to semi-agree as your comment sounds similar to what I am saying. Your thoughts do control you. But one can feel in certain ways and in response, unconsciously do certain things, and has made no connection between the thought/feeling/action they are experiencing and responding to. Ultimately it takes, many times, work to understand the thought behind the feeling and action. Then it requires honest self evaluation and examination as to whether one’s thoughts are according to “right” practices and/or principles that will guide them to a better place, state, activity etc.

“Now again knowing what is right or, wrong is not always as easy because situations that occur are not black and white and one must become examinant, insightful, introspective about right and wrong. This is where seeking knowledge, understanding, and wisdom, even from books that pertain to such needed understanding is a good approach. After all, education is a valued experience that helps all who pursue it in any way. But I also believe as I have practiced the inner spiritual path in pursuit of God (the Divine Source) to learning right and doing right and to becoming “right”.”

My friend +Magdalin+ I appreciate your comment. I feel that it speaks volumes about your integrity and desire to be a kind and loving person and that you have a close connection to God and it says that you are a wise woman.

However I am nit-picking at it to clarify this relationship between thoughts and feelings so that there is NO confusion as to what I am teaching and what I am NOT teaching…because what I am really teaching is one of the most powerful things you can know about Life. It will transform anybody’s life for the better if they really take it in and work with it and practice.

Yes everyone should aim to become that Life Book, and they should become a student of all kinds of books and teachings…it will save them a lot of time and lifetimes of trial and error.

I will agree with you that people who have NOT mastered their thought will have a difficult time understanding their feelings. But still they must aim to master their thoughts. It is exercise and must begin somewhere. MISTAKES WILL BE MADE! But this is the design of Life. We must learn from our mistakes. People who are not willing to do so will not wade so deeply into blogs like mine or yours. They won’t see the point and they will stumble through life in a drunken stupor.

If you are paying attention to your thoughts when you feel pressure, distress, frustration, anger, or sadness, you will find it is due to focus, expectations and attachments on a certain outcome. It does not come from the act of using your feelings as your guide. It is your focus on having a certain outcome, and shifting from one idea about how to get that outcome to the next two or three ideas until your run out of ideas and realize that none of your ideas have worked or will ever work to get you that outcome…then you will be frustrated. That is the process that causes these negative feelings. I still maintain that feelings are our absolutely accurate guide.

If you deliberately refocus your mind on something completely different, something that causes your feelings to change, you will see that your thoughts do affect your feelings and you have the power to change your feelings. If you can do it once, you can do it again, and you can make it a regular practice. After all, no one really wants to feel bad, not for a long period of time. The whole point of chasing money, sex, drugs, prestige, etc is because we think we will be happy when we get it. If we learn we can make ourselves happy by simply changing our mind then we have discovered a very great power that resides within us.

I will expand on one point just a little…when we feel grief, or anger, or some other strong negative emotion it does feel good to cry or scream or to lash out physically. We don’t even want to try to refocus our mind. This is necessary to release a great deal of pent up energy that has accumulated in our physical body. The longer we entertained negative thinking, the greater the emotional energy that will accumulate. We should allow ourselves this outlet to release this energy but not prolong it.

To be continued…

Love and Blessings,

Michael Skowronski

Author of Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story

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Both crime and punishment are insane. To believe that you will get what you want by taking it from another, to believe that doing harm to another will serve you in some way, both are insane ideas. Anyone who is observing life clearly understands the insanity behind either approach to life. One popular definition of insanity states that to continue doing the same thing and expecting different results is insane. And it is. There is a feeling of frustration that goes along with insanity, which often causes anger and violence, or at least the thoughts to commit violent acts. Insanity is a lack of understanding of how life works, which plays out in the actions of the insane person. An insane person thinks or does certain things which give them results they do not want.

Consider the idea of punishing someone as our society does, locking them up in jail or prison for a long period of time. This is inhumane, this is torture, and in most cases patently unfair. The punishment is usually far more severe than the criminal act. The reason the severity seems necessary, is because punishment is such a poor way to get someone to change their behaviors, that we must go to great extremes for it to have any effect at all.

Punishment does harm to the individual who is already insane. If they committed a true crime, they are by definition insane. How will torturing someone like this alleviate their insanity? How do we expect their behavior to improve once released? What new lessons will that person have learned? In prison as they currently are, they will have become more skilled criminals. Locked up with others whose life skills consist of harming others, what else is there to learn? By being abused and neglected by those who watch over the prisoners what life lessons are learned?

And we can see the results if we open our eyes and observe. Most criminals go right out and commit another crime in order to be locked up once again. Do you know the reason? Not because they are looking for a free ride…a place to sleep and food, but because they feel safer and less judged amongst those of their own kind as opposed to the angry judgmental society that would do such a horrific thing to them in the first place.

Certainly there are those who are just broken by the experience, and those who leave prison and never commit another crime. Yet are they productive members of society, or just too frightened to fully participate anymore? I am confident that if we observe the results of our “justice” system we will find that in most cases (probably higher than 90%) it is failing miserably. And that is pure insanity. It says that as a society WE ARE INSANE!

Is there another way to protect the lives and properties of the people of our society? Most definitely there is, and the time has come for us to develop this system. Our goal should be to ensure the safety and well being of all people, even the insane criminals. Our goal should be to ensure that every citizen of society understands the proper use of their thoughts and actions in gaining the life experiences and objects that they desire. The actions we take to accomplish our goals should bear fruit. Our actions should deliver what it is we are seeking or we should adapt and evolve until we do accomplish our goals.

A Possible Solution

First we must do away with the idea of punishment. This is a must. There are all sorts of problems with punishment, the greatest being that it leads to dishonesty. And without truth, what can be accomplished? Without truth, we are dead in the water. We have nowhere to go when truth is absent. When there is no fear of punishment the truth should be much easier to discover. Why lie when you don’t have to?

Those who insist on punishment should fall into the same category as the perpetrator of the “crime”, insane, and as such both parties require treatment for their mental illness.

Developing new habits in the person who commits a crime should be our primary goal. ALL people operate out of habit most of the time. Rarely do people consciously choose their actions, and those that do are usually in the category of enlightened beings rather than criminals. You could argue that when a person steals an object, or does harm to another person, that they have consciously chosen to do that. But then I would argue that you really don’t understand people and life very well and thus you are not fit to be in a place of trying to solve this problem. Even those actions of theft and harm come from prior training. Habits of thinking like, “I can get what I want by stealing it, I can force that person to do my bidding by harming them or threatening them with harm,” are the real cause of their actions.

So we need to retrain people. Now it would be much easier, much more economically efficient, and much more humane if we actually offered this training from the get go. We should be doing a better job of training our children so that they don’t grow up to be criminals. We all know how horrible grade school and even high school years can be, with all of the bulling that goes on. This is the start of crime and it should be nipped in the bud.

But we still have to deal with an existing, predominantly insane society. And to do this we will need to provide retraining for a lot of adults with pre-existing insane ideas about life. People have to want to change in order to change. In the beginning we may need to keep the ultimate threat of punishment alive. The criminal would be given a choice, to participate in retraining, or have their freedoms severely restricted. They would be locked up in a reasonably comfortable prison cell, better than our current systems, and given good healthy food and good medical care. The only radio, TV, or reading material they would be allowed would contain positive, life affirming messages that in some way gave them a life skill that would improve their mental condition. Movies that promote violence and vengeance like, “The Terminator” and “Die Hard” would be strictly forbidden.

The retraining option should treat offenders with as much respect and dignity as possible. They should work one on one with guidance counselors to establish new skills and habits. Those criminals who have been successfully retrained would be prime candidates to assist newly discovered criminals in their retraining. Look at the good works that programs like Alcoholics Anonymous does. Reformed alcoholics, those with a real understanding of both sides of the problem, are helping those who are still struggling with their problem to transform.

Certainly there are more details that need to be fleshed out. But if we try we can do this. There is enough awareness in the world, there are enough people with love and compassion and an enlightened understanding of Life to solve this problem. The biggest problem we face is that the majority of people on the planet still don’t understand Life and are not paying attention, and not observing what is working and what is not. They are organized, they are active, and they are insanely working to perpetuate the problem. Those of us with awareness must become organized and must set about to solve this problem as well as all of the other problems that plague our world today.

How can we do that? Right now we have no system for problem solving. We need one. I have made a proposal for a system that will work in my blog titled International World Government. It contains something I call a World Solutions Database and a computerized system to facilitate working out these solutions with people who are intelligent and offering ideas that will work. (We need to work these issues out for all of the world, not just America.) I suggest you read that blog too. I fully intend to develop that system once I have the financial resources to do so…unless someone beats me to it…and that is fine with me since I already have a great deal of work on my plate.

We don’t need government approval to begin. We can solve some of the world’s problems in spite of the idiots who are currently running the world. And when we do our successes will speak for themselves and attract others to join us.

Love and Blessings,
Michael Skowronski
Author of Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story
Also on Amazon.com and BarnesAndNoble.com…including awesome book reviews!

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This is the last part of the Life Coaching Transcript for Laurie. Here are its first and second part.

Laurie said:

…We are all going in together to share a booth at the local New Age Expo here in November, and now she dropped out of participating in that… bla bla bla (no insult intended) … but it’s like she wants it to go just HER way instead of allowing every to have equal say as a TEAM.

Do you really want to be involved with that energy when you present your skills to the public? Or is this a learning experience whose time has passed? Or can you let it all go, and just bring your sweet loving energy to the expo and stand out amongst the crowd?

Keep asking yourself such questions and go with the answer that feels the best to you.

Laurie said:

…In my additional defence, I’ve gotten strong feedback from at least 3 others in the group that she is the one out of line and I have not done ANYTHING wrong.

Of course that is the case. Whenever anyone is expressing strong emotional feelings it is theirs and only theirs. It’s a good thing to remember when it is you that is ranting and raving too! Your part in it is that you simply still believe you are less than others and deserve to take a beating for it.

Laurie said:

…But after exchanging heated emails, she called me and the conversation left me with that feeling of someone trying to assert their own viewpoints on me

Your participation in this is your own doing. Don’t respond. I know how hard that is, but look where the choice you made got you. Learn from this and cut these sort of things short!

Laurie said:

…but it leaves me with that feeling like as a kid, when your parents spank you “for you own good because I love you” — does that make any sense?

Anytime someone is taking on the strong emotionally charged accusations of another it is because of earlier wounding and a low sense of self-esteem. The fix for this is to focus your attention elsewhere and remind yourself that…Whenever anyone is expressing strong emotional feelings it is theirs and only theirs. The more you do this the less attractive you are to people like that. But the best part is that you discover that there are more and more nice loving people out there who own their own feelings and don’t blame you for their problems.

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