Unforgettable Love Story

I got the following email from a friend and am answering it here in this blog…with her permission of course.

Hey Michael,

I am in a sort of internship I believe. I still have some issues of my own. Most of the abuse I have sustained was of the psychological kind and was done at the time when I was most absorbent (childhood). So… I feel that I have forgiven but that my next step is to accept that I will know this same harmful intent in others.

I think I am what is called a “sensitive”. I respond to the feelings of others…and yes, I have always said that I can feel the feelings of others. My problem is that I am not always able to determine that the feelings are not necessarily directed at me; therefore I ‘think’ they are. As a result I become angry or hurt.

In a way, that is the same as saying I feel responsible and that is not healthy.

I am NOW able to acknowledge when I feel extremely uncomfortable around others; when I sense their toxicity; their ambivalence.

Munga, you made a very good observation here. First of all it does not matter if it was directed at you or not. What matters is do you really deserve the energy being projected? Do you know? Are you clear enough to know?

Most people “think” that the words and perceived attitude of others are directed at them. This is a very standard assumption we all make. I still catch this happening in myself when my wife becomes unhappy. When she finally gets around to explaining it to me, it is due to something else. Either she is physically uncomfortable for some reason, or she is worrying about something else or somebody else in her family. Now my wife is pretty honest and owns her own stuff, but other people are not so honest, or worse don’t even understand their own minds and do not even know what it is they are thinking about. Other people may even truly believe YOU are the problem of the moment, and they project that energetically upon you or they project it quite vocally with words. So this causes most people to doubt themselves.

This is the point of work that needs to be done in many people who are sensitive and who will develop their sensitivity in the future. We need to be clear at all times about ourselves, who we are, what our intentions are, what we think and what we do. And when we do make mistakes, out of habit, and go against our true intention, we need to recognize that we have done so and take the steps necessary to reprogram our habits such that we come into alignment with our true intentions. Which I would assume is, to be loving and harmless in all of our thoughts and deeds. If that is not your intention, then guilt will surely follow you all the days of your lives!

UnforgettableBook.com

“THE BOOK IS SPECTACULAR…THOUGH I FIND MYSELF SOMETIMES LAUGHING..SOMETIMES CRYING AND OTHER TIMES I AM LAUGHING AND CRYING SIMULTANEOUSLY, OVERALL, I AM ENJOYING IT VERY MUCH…AND YOU’RE RIGHT MIKE IT IS A LOVE AND SPIRTUAL GROWTH STORY.”

– Granny Queen

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People think perfection is not possible. They say, “We are only human.” But when a person realizes that perfection is very simple then it becomes possible. I say that perfection is making it your intention to be loving and harmless in every thought, word, and deed and reprogramming your habits of thought, word and deed that go against that intention. For me making a mistake such as spilling the milk, or hitting the gas pedal when you meant to hit the breaks or some other such human mistake does not mean a person is not perfect. But to remain loving and harmless in the midst of anything that occurs, intentional or accidental, that is perfection.

When your intention is to be loving and harmless, and your habits nearly always reflect that intention, then it is easy to not take the energetic or spoken resentments and accusations of others as if you are at fault. If your intentions and actions are clear, then begin to remind yourself of this every time someone near you gets upset and you will soon find yourself at peace in these sorts of situations.

The other problem we face is we want the other person to understand us, to understand our intentions and to change how they view us and our actions. If this understanding does not come for them automatically it is not likely to come at all. We can argue with people, and try to convince them, but unfortunately even if they pretend to be convinced, in most cases they will hold on to their perceived experience and hold you responsible for whatever negative feelings they have. This may seem like a sad realization and a sad outcome, but ultimately our awakening and our clarity does lead us to increasingly better circumstances for ourselves. It really does not matter what other people think about us.

Recently, I had to get another job, for financial reasons. I have had to change jobs 3 times in the last three years. I am not someone who does this… I would like to find my niche and hang in there; my personality is such that I am loyal and tenacious. But…due to some odd circumstances, I have had to move on and continue to find work in other places. I have a lot to give to a company.

Odd circumstances, hmmm…sounds like the hands of God at work here. Didn’t you say you were in internship? Internship for what…running a corporation or healing the planet? Those who are waking up are indeed in an internship. And we are here at this moment in time to transform this planet. These shakeups we experience when we are so very close to enlightenment are those things that will shake loose those old habits of thought word and deed that no longer serve us. These shakeups give us the training necessary to understand what we are up against, and what our true job in this world is.

I found a job that looked like something I would like. With the right training, I could run this office like a well oiled machine. They hired me on the spot! I was pleased. But before the interview took place, I noticed that one of the co-workers (my equal) was very hostile towards me. Not overtly but passively. I felt terribly uncomfortable but kept telling myself not to be “paranoid”.

Be careful, be watchful, and be aware when you feel this sort of thing. Certainly the hostility is there. Not everyone wants their work environment to run like a well oiled machine. When they slack off, when they need time for themselves, it will be noticed. They will be resentful that you have taken this away from them. It is unfortunate but most companies don’t just give employees enough free time in their day to tend to their own needs. Thus we all create it and hide it in the cracks of the disorganization that exist.

I have been on the job for three weeks and the other person up and quit because she was so intimidated by my presence. This was so upsetting to me. I had done nothing to her but get hired! I am shy and reserved but friendly and kind… I know this about myself. I tried to be “nicer” to her, sensing her insecurities, but that only seemed to add fuel to the fire.

Problem is, if I am in the workplace; there is nowhere to go… there is often no choice but to hang in there. I’m sure others will say, “Quit the job” but that is not an option for me at this point. I just started!!! I kept thinking that this situation was one that I caused.

Yes, you are the cause. Your light is shinning too brightly and you give those who cower in the darkness nowhere to hide. So perhaps you should shrink back into the darkness, lie, cheat, and do a few evil deeds every once in a while so that you can be accepted. NOT! :^)

What is your job? Is it possible that in the course of your duties you may reveal something this person did that was wrong like some sort of embezzlement? Or were they frightened they would be seen as incompetent or too slow? Or is it that just having a nice person around made them sick?

I do know this…people are frightened, people are jealous, and people have low self-esteem. There are many reasons for this, but primarily and foremost is that it is NOT their intention to be loving and harmless in all of their thoughts, words, and deeds. If you dig deep enough into the reason they have low-self esteem you will find this issue is within them. For example, someone who has been abused could claim the low-self esteem is due to their abuse, but I say it is due to their desire for justice and judgment about what has been done to them and it could also be unhealed judgment of self due to their own past harmful and unloving intentions. Of course it is considered normal to want vengeance, but still it is the cause of the low self-esteem. We still have to get past our judgments if we ever expect to feel good about ourselves.

When your intention is to be loving and harmless then you know who you are and you feel good about yourself no matter what anyone says or does. This causes healthy self-esteem. It occurs over time as events occur and you witness yourself consistently responding in loving ways. Over time you receive internal guidance and you recognize your oneness with God and All That Is.

I know that is weird but you must know that women truly have different issues than men. With women, it is often about outward appearances; there is a vanity there in addition to everything else. This co-worker was morbidly obese, but then again, the three other employees (including boss) are also obese.

Certainly men and women face different issues; it is not so weird since we are biologically and socially different. A person who is generally considered physically beautiful does have to face the jealousy of those who are not generally considered physically beautiful. When the inner beauty is not there either, that jealousy comes out and can be felt.

Living in this world with other hurt people is not easy. There are no quick or fool proof solutions. I would love to be able to rise above the sickness in others, but I have a feeling that none of us is ever really healed, we just get better.

It is not easy, but it is possible…your healing can occur in spite of others who remain wounded! There are no quick solutions, but there are fool proof solutions. I just gave them above. It takes time, and it sounds to me like you are already on your way.

People are hurt, people are dysfunctional, and these are the facts of life. These wounded and dysfunctional people do seem to get in our way, they do seem to interfere with our lives, but we can change our focus and we can have peace and happiness no matter what is occurring in the outer world. I offer much advice along these lines in my other blogs such as Drowning in Worry and Reprogramming Yourself just to name a few. Over the course of our journey through life we gain much from even these experiences that challenge us.

When I realized that the co worker literally was directing HATE towards me, I tried talking to her in a tactful and gentle way. I told her I wanted us to get along and even enjoy working together. I felt good about what I said to her and felt I had done so in a loving and heartfelt way. Obviously, I should not have spoken about it to her because she merely became more resentful.

As you have found, most of the time talk does not cut it. You can’t talk your way out of being who you are. She hates you for who you are, a mirror that shows her who she is, which is a person she does not like. You are not willing and should not be willing to paint over your mirror with a pretty picture of who she is. Even your tactful and gentle talk mirrors back to her her own hatred and inability to be kind and loving.

I am not an overt, exciting person. I can’t walk in a room and uplift others by giving them extreme praise or making them feel wonderful. My personality is very calm and low key… but I smile and am friendly. This is the part I felt I had failed at. This is when, for a moment, I wished I were a different sort of person… one who could “win friends and influence people”.

To win friends and influence people by words alone or attempts to make them feel wonderful is a manipulation, it is fake and it is an energy that you do not want to engage in. When you are filled with your own sense of your true self, when your self-esteem is healthy and strong, when you are not frightened by the hatred, jealousy, and woundedness of others, when you trust life and that you ARE in the right place at the right time, you will walk into a room and uplift others by your mere presence. No words will be necessary. And those who are not uplifted will be those who are frightened by your light.

I think that I am a help to many of my friends… that they sense they are safe with me (and I with them) and we are able to help each other. But, that is not necessarily true of all relationships.

Agreed! You cannot help everyone. Not everyone will respond to you in the way you would like them to. Accept that and move on.

I wanted to be a help to my ex husband (while we were still married). (At first of course, I was very angry and showed my anger towards him). But after learning more, reading more, I tried to be loving and tolerant; knowing he suffered from alcoholism. But, to be honest, this change in me seemed to make things worse… now perhaps that is natural progression of alcoholism and nothing to do with me, but I was the one who had to eventually flee. Not for my life, but for my sanity. My already bruised ego hung perilously on the edge of a breakdown.

As we grow we must change our outer circumstances. It MUST occur and that is a good thing! We experience the pain of separation from the old, but wait…the new holds gifts for us. The new life circumstances contain many of the things we have been asking for.

I still question why my love wasn’t enough to help my ex. I still wonder why I have to “feel” the feelings of others. They only hurt for the most part.

Your love has helped, you just don’t see all the ways it has helped him yet. Your love wasn’t enough to “help” your ex because your ex has free choice. Your ex still has more to experience in the circumstances he chose for his life.

Do you have any thoughts on this? Or do you require money for your services? lol

Munga

I do not charge for my counseling services. I am especially grateful when someone allows me to be of service and allows me to post them in a blog so that others may be helped by the questions and answers.

Love and Blessings,
Michael Skowronski
Author of Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story
Also on Amazon.com and BarnesAndNoble.com…including awesome book reviews!

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This is the latest part of the story with the following installments:

Part 1 - A Marriage Made in Heaven Part I, Part II

Part 2 - The Suicide and the Accident

A side story - The Elephants of India

The Kidnapping and the Wedding

The Kidnapping

The Couple Reunite

We spent our first honeymoon night in a room at the home-stay of Madhu and Sandhya. Had I know about the abduction of my brother-in-law I would not have brought Shyni there. Years later when I questioned Shyni about it, “Why didn’t you talk me into staying somewhere else? Why didn’t you tell me Sandhya participated in kidnapping Shyam?”

She replied, “There was no other place we could have stayed. Everyone in Kumily was jealous of me. If I would have tried to take you somewhere else you would have wanted to know why. I did not want you to know about the kidnapping so soon and you trusted Sandhya. I wanted you to trust me before I began telling you how horrible these people can be. You needed to experience it for yourself first.”

I was still quite naïve about people, much more than I thought at the time. But as the story will eventually show, I did learn a lesson in life that I really needed to learn. Shyni was right to wait and let me discover this truth for myself. It did teach me to trust her more too.

Shyni was quite ill on the evening of our wedding day. She came down with a high fever. I attributed it to her not sleeping much the night before and all of the stress of the wedding. I went to the nearby restaurant owned by our Egyptian and British friends and shared a bottle of wine with them while I waited for my takeaway order to be prepared. Shyni does not drink, never has and insists that she never will, so she was happy I had someone else to celebrate with.

Due to her illness we did not consummate our marriage that evening either. Shyni remained shy about nudity and she objected when I undressed in the bedroom rather than the privacy of bathroom. I just figured it was time for her to get used to a new style of living and a new culture. I did not want to set the tone of our marriage as one of being prudish.

I hired a car and driver to take us to Munnar the next day. It was a beautiful four hour drive through the Western Ghats Mountains. These mountains rise quickly, with deep narrow valleys and another steep rise only one to two kilometers away. They contain plenty of water falls, rivers and lakes and are quite lush and green.

The journey was spectacular and magical…especially with my beautiful bride at my side. We were finally free. We sat close, held hands, looked into each other’s eyes and kissed often. This was something we could not do since the time we met, except when we were in the privacy of our bed room. And even then Shyni was holding back and reserving her affection until after the temple wedding. But now she was much more open and free with me and I was loving it!

At one point in our long drive I said to Shyni, “It’s too bad we can’t take Eju to America with us.” Eju is Shyni’s nine year old nephew, the son of her sister. He is adorable and has an energy that is very similar to ours. I love children and Eju is very easy to love because
he is so affectionate and well behaved. Shyni replied, “Do you mean that? Do you really want to take Eju to the USA?” I said, “Yes, I can see how much he loves you and how much he will miss you when I take you away.”

Shyni then proceeded to tell me how she had adopted Eju as her own son at six months of age. “I first found out about Eju when he was four months old. I came home from nursing school after my first year exams were complete. My family had not even told me that Jessie was pregnant. There was so much shame because Gopal did not want to marry her. For two months they all argued about how much dowry money Gopal’s family would accept for the marriage to take place. My father was too poor and did not have any money to offer. All that he could promise was a one third share in our family home and land. This was not enough for Gopal or his family to accept. Poor Jessie, she loved Gopal and did not want to lose him and she was facing the reality of how people in our culture would treat her as an unwed mother. Neither Jessie nor Gopal was mature enough to be parents, they were like children themselves.

“Then one night Jessie called me to come and help her. I had to ride three hours by bus to get to her house. A lot of Gopal’s family was there, a few of the men were drunk. They were all fighting over the baby and threatening to kill it. One of the men took Eju from the bed and tried to throw him to the floor. I quickly jumped up and caught Eju and ran out of the house with him. It was dark, and wet, the ground was slippery. But I ran as fast as I could down the hill and hid in the dark to see if I was being followed. I had to hold Eju’s mouth closed so they could not hear him cry.

“I watched for awhile as they came out of the house to look for me. It was too dark and it took them a little while to get organized, so I ran to a neighbor’s house and knocked on the door. They let me in and I told them what was happening. They hid us and let us sleep there overnight. I got up and took Eju home with me by bus at five in the morning.

“I had to tell my father what happened. He was very upset but not surprised. Jessie came home a few days later. I took care of Eju during that time, even when Jessie was there. I spoke with my great grandmother Ellie and asked her what I should do. She told me to follow my heart. I told her my heart said to keep Eju and raise him as my own son. My wise old great granny told me that God would support me if I was really confirmed in my decision.

“After about a week Jessie went back to Gopal and I kept Eju. A few days later my father asked me when I was going to send Eju back to his parents and I told him I was never going to send him back. We had a very long talk about it and how it was that I would take care of this baby. My father was already financially stressed and did not want another mouth to feed.

“I transferred from my nursing school, which was four hours away by bus, to a school in Kumily (which is where the family home was) and I took Eju to school with me. I told people he was my baby and his father worked a long ways away. I got a job dancing in shows for resort guests to help feed my baby and pay the bills. My father and brother Shyam played music at the resort, so they also played the music while my Uncle Cebe and me danced in the traditional Kerala style. My mother watched Eju while we performed.”

I interrupted Shyni’s story to ask, “Wasn’t it difficult to go to school, study, take care of a child and dance every evening? How could you manage?”

“Oh, I was often very tired, but I loved my life. I always wanted to be a mother so it was easy to take care of Eju. I loved being with my father and brother while they played music. It was difficult but I just did what I had to do. I could not quit school; I needed to have life out of the poverty that was too common in India. So I put up with it all. Until my father died, that is when I quit dancing and went to Delhi to work. Then my whole family needed money and Delhi was the only place I could earn good pay.”

I was blown away and my eyes were filled with tears. “Wow Shyni, I did not realize. You could have told me that Eju was your son. I can love both of you.”

“I did not know how you would take it. I wasn’t sure if you would understand. I felt I could tell you later and it would be okay.” Shyni said with a little bit of worry in her voice.

“It is okay. I love you and I am happy that we can take him to the States with us…we will be able to take him won’t we? Did you legally adopt him?”

“No. But we can do that if you like.”

“We will probably have to adopt him in order to get him a visa. Will Gopal and Jessie allow this?”

“It will take some time, but I can convince them. Eju does not want them and they don’t really want him either. Eju was so sad on our wedding day. Did you notice? He cried when we were leaving because he thought you were taking me to the USA. He did not understand what a honeymoon was, he thought Honeymoon was a place.”

I felt so happy that it was I who married this woman and not some other foreigner who might have objected. There were so many things in my life, the big things, in complex ways, that always seemed to work out in just the perfect way. I felt like this was one more sign that our marriage was divinely orchestrated and that my new wife Shyni too was moving with the divine flow of life. “Call your mother as soon we get to our resort and tell them we are going to take Eju with us.”

We stopped a couple of times along the way to enjoy the spectacular views. The rivers and valleys and waterfalls were too beautiful to pass by at a quick pace. I held Shyni close as we stood and admired the views. I felt an even deeper sense of connection with her because we were becoming a family. When I was considering taking an Indian wife, I thought it would be nice to find a widow who already had children, because I love children and because I knew a woman with a child would have a harder time finding a husband. I could not imagine taking a wife as young as twenty four like so many of the girls I had met. I did like the idea of having a younger wife, but not at the expense of immaturity. I preferred to have a mature woman even if it meant an older wife. As I held Shyni in my arms I was filled with joy and amazement at how God took so many of my desires into account when he set us up. I got a beautiful young wife who was also a mature woman and a child, this was everything I wanted. And we were getting along very well.

When we arrived at our hotel in Munnar Shyni was again not feeling very well and I needed a walk to stretch my legs after our long drive. She was already used to my routine of taking a morning and evening walk alone so she seemed to be fine with me going for a walk before it got dark. When I returned from my walk however she was not as happy. The hotel staff had questioned her about what she was doing there with me. They wanted to see our wedding certificates, which she showed to them. The man running the hotel did not seem to be impressed but the other two women on the staff began treating Shyni better. I held Shyni in my arms to comfort her and caressed her hair.

Indians have very strange ideas about life and what is appropriate and inappropriate. Actually people in all cultures have this problem, but it is much easier to see it in another culture than it is in your own. However, if you live in a couple of different cultures for a few years, it becomes easy to see the silliness of your own culture as well. I highly recommend that people go and live in a couple of different foreign countries for a few years. It would dramatically help you in your efforts to change your inner programming. If we could only take about one third of the born and raised Americans and transplant them to various third world countries for three years I bet we would see a rapid and dramatic change for the better in the entire world within a few years time. It would change the perspective of so many people who could then be effective agents for worldwide changes.

Shyni had also phoned Chechi (her mother) while I was gone. Chechi was happy to hear from us so soon on our journey. And Eju was very happy to hear about our ideas to take him to the States with us. They were also relieved that I was letting Shyni continue her communication with her family. They wondered how long it would be before they heard from Shyni.

We had a romantic dinner alone together for the first time since I have known Shyni. It was just the two of us, without family, indeed there were no other guests in the dining room at the time we were there. We talked a lot about our lives and our hopes and dreams for our future together and Shyni told me more about the troubles she had protecting Eju from harm.

“After I had been caring for Eju for two months, the president of Gopal’s community called me and she asked me to come to Gopal’s house for a meeting. When I arrived with Eju, Gopal’s cousin Sanu was there along with Gopal, Jessie and this community woman. She talked with us all and told Gopal that he had to pay some money to me for taking care of his baby. Sanu got very angry and picked up a chair, raising it over his head, to smash me with it while I was holding Eju. The community president was a big woman and she caught the chair and stopped him from hitting me. I ran for the door but Sanu caught me and began choking me to try to get me to drop Eju. I nearly passed out but I didn’t drop him so Sanu pushed me out the door. Both Eju and I fell onto the cement porch and got scratched up pretty badly. Gopal just sat there in silence; he said nothing.”

“Oh my God! What did you do?”

“I went back home and never took Eju back there again. But that is not all…Four months later Gopal’s mother and step-father came to visit us. She was being nice and wanted to hold the baby so I let her and I went to the toilet. My mother was there with them so I thought it would be okay. When I came back Gopal’s mother was gone. She had only been at the house for a very short time. I asked Chechi what had happened and she told me Eju’s grandmother gave him some biscuits and then they said they had to go. Very soon Eju started looking sick so we rushed him to the hospital.”

I was in shock. I could hardly believe what I was hearing. “Did they poison him?”

“Yes, Gopal’s mother poisoned Eju.”

“Did they pump out his stomach? Did the test it for poison?”

“Yes, we did have his stomach pumped and they did find that there was poison in the biscuits. They tried to kill him.”

I sat there for a moment with my mind reeling, How could anyone do something like that to a baby? Especially when someone else was taking care of it and not asking for anything. I was feeling mixed emotions. I was very proud that I had such a strong woman as Shyni as my wife and at the same time in shock at how sick some people could be. “Did you go to the police? Did you tell them what had happened?”

“No, we did not want any more trouble from these people. I called Gopal and told him to never come to our house again. I told him to tell the rest of his family to stay away or we would call the police.”

“Did that work, did they stay away?”

“They stayed away until Eju was nearly five. Then Gopal came by with a friend of his. Eju met Gopal at the door and called me. I asked Eju who it was and he said he didn’t know. When I came to the door Gopal had tears in his eyes. I told him I did not want his tears or his drama and sent him away.

“Many months later Gopal came back again. Jessie was staying with us at the time. He said he wanted his wife and child back. My father told me I had no legal right to keep Eju so I should send him back to his father.”

“Oh my God! What did you do?”

“I had to send him back. But I went with them. After two days I could see that Gopal was not acting like a father. He gave no love to Eju. He did not pick Eju up or play with him or hug and kiss him. And Jessie too began ignoring Eju again. So I took Eju with me and left.”

“How long was Jessie living with you at your house?”

“On and off for a year and a half. The longest she stayed with us was eight months.”

“Wow Shyni, you are a strong woman. You don’t ever have to worry about having that kind of drama with me. I will take good care of both you and Eju. Will they give us any trouble adopting him?”

“I can manage them. It will take some time. But we will get the legal papers.”

“After your father died, what did you do with Eju then? That is when you went to Delhi to work as a nurse right?”

“I couldn’t take Eju with me. It would have been too difficult. I had to learn a new language and learn my way around Delhi. I could not trust anybody in a strange city to take care of Eju while I was at work. So my mother took care of Eju while I was gone. I was making good money and saved most of it to send home to take care of the bills my father left behind and to feed my family. I took the train back home a couple of times each year to visit.”

Shyni’s story had me in tears. I was very impressed with Shyni and so thankful that I could be there to help make the rest of her life easier. We enjoyed our dinner together and then went back to our room. Shyni still had a fever and wanted to go to sleep early so we did.

I made no moves to have sex with her because she was still ill. But while we were lying in bed cuddling Shyni told me she was ready and wanted to make love so we did. It was awkward for us at first; more awkward than any other sexual experience I had in the past, but it was the start. It took many months for us to become totally comfortable with our sexual experience together. She had a lot to learn, and I learned some new things too.

Now I can honestly say that Shyni is the best sexual partner I have ever had. Although there are many reasons for this, I believe one of the biggest reasons is that we are both totally committed without any thought or desire for anyone else. That is not something I can say about my past relationships. In the past there was always a desire in the back of my mind for other sexual experiences with other women. In my younger years I thought it was natural and normal for a young man to have strong sexual urges and desire for multiple sexual partners. Now I am certain that energy tainted my past relationships and made them less than they could have been. By the time I had married Shyni too much had happened in my life, good times and painful times, things that got me ready for this woman and the commitment she had to be totally faithful to her husband. So faithful that she waited thirty years without sharing so much as a kiss with another man. I don’t mean this to be critical in any way of anybody else; I am just presenting our experience.

We thoroughly enjoyed the rest of our honeymoon together, but there were some challenges. We stayed two nights at this hotel which was higher up in the mountains than the village of Munnar. There was a lake and dam and tea plantations to explore. We stayed two more nights in the village of Munnar where Shyni was very ill and we had to call a doctor to our home-stay room to examin her and give her medication. While there we enjoyed a paddle boat ride on a river; I did all of the peddling since Shyni was not feeling well. Then we went down to a village called Kumarakom near the coast, not too far from Cochin. Shyni felt much better there because the climate was hot. Munnar was five thousand feet high and quite cold at night, and even cool during the day. We stayed three nights in a home-stay right on a canal and took a motor boat cruise of the canals while we were there. We also drove around and enjoyed all of the beautiful natural sights of the area.

Shyni stayed in touch with her family the whole time we were on our honeymoon. While we were in Kumarakom she got the disturbing news that Gopal had beat his wife Jessie. Because of that, and because I wanted to get back to work writing my book Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story, we cut our honeymoon short by a few days. We had one more costal city we were going to visit but decided to return to Kumily instead.

Karma Changes People

Because I have reported some pretty horrible things about Shyni’s relatives in this story I wish to balance it out by saying something else about these people. It is nearly three years later and during this time Life has had quite an impact on them. Jessie and Gopal have stayed with us for many days and nights on many occasions. We did legally adopt Eju and their second child Geethu has also come under our care. Geethu wants us to adopt her too and Jessie and Gopal have consented. Jessie is not without fault in their fights; indeed she has a very big mouth, can be quite mean, and does not know when to shut up. She talks constantly, and I do mean constantly. Once my brother pulled the circuit breaker in our house so Jessie would think we had a power outage and go to sleep. It worked and she stopped talking.

Jessie and Gopal are getting along a lot better now as a result of so many things, including the influence that Shyni and I have had on them. Shyni’s mother Chechi is taking care of the kids since we have no visa’s for them yet. Jessie and Gopal are helping out and have become very responsible. The kids deny that Jessie and Gopal are their parents, treats them like servants, insults them any time they screw up, and tries to show them the correct way to care for children. Otherwise both kids are strong loving and competent beings. Eju has won a few singing competitions and at age twelve has become quite the entrepreneur starting a few of his own side businesses. Geethu has been the top student of her class in both kindergarten and first grades. I keep telling Shyni to talk to the kids about respecting their birth parents, but we don’t have that much control from here. I don’t speak their language yet and the kid’s English is not real good either. So Jessie and Gopal are being given some very hard lessons and they are changing.

The second husband of Gopal’s mother died recently and her stepchildren kicked her out of her husband’s home. This is the woman who poisoned Eju as a baby. Gopal’s father, which is her first husband, lives with Jessie and Gopal and will not have her back. So Gopal can’t care for his own mother who faces being homeless. She is not homeless however, because she is now living with Shyni’s mother Chechi, Eju and Geethu. Eju is loving his grandmother who tried to kill him early in his life. She has to live with what she did on a daily basis. Her vial deeds were returned with love.

It is funny how Eju’s life and existence has influenced these people who were so desperate for money when he was born and so ready to kill him because they thought he would be a burden in their lives. When Eju was two years old he played Tabla with his grandfather at the Spice Village Resort and earned Rs. 100 for his performance, a day’s wage for an Indian man. Just the other day the family needed food yet Chechi and Gopal both were out of money. We normally give them money but the ATM card they were using was stolen and the new one has not yet arrived. So twelve year old Eju told Chechi that he would go and do some work so they could eat. He went out and returned only a couple of hours later with Rs. 600 (for installing a home theater); this is a week’s wage for an Indian man. They all ate that evening and for many more days because of the baby they wanted to kill. Life has its ways of teaching us what we need to learn.

Stay tuned for the next installment – Stranded in India

Love and Blessings,
Michael Skowronski
Author of Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story

P.S. If you like this story and my other blogs then you will love my book. Please help us out by reading Unforgettable and telling your friends about it. You can purchase an autographed copy directly from my website or you can also find it on Amazon.com as well as BarnesAndNoble.com.

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Where are you going in your life? Are you seeking heaven or hell?

If you are seeking hell, then judgment such as the title of this article will take you there quicker than the actions of those in the title. Wait now, don’t close off and run away…even if you differ in opinion, and you have a right to, for your sake read this full article and take it all in. Then experiment in your own life with these ideas and in time you will discover the truth. Are you willing to discover truth and move beyond belief?

If you are seeking heaven, if you are seeking a peaceful life, if you want to make this planet a safe place for our children to grow up in and play, then this article will show you how to create that in a very practical way.

First let’s get this point straight…Judgment, Hatred and Anger will take you to hell faster than anything I know of. Believe me I speak from personal experience. I have been working through these issues for many years now. I have made great progress and most people that really know me consider me quite advanced in how I handle difficult situations when compared to the majority of people in the world. But that is not good enough for me. I want perfection in my personality. I want never to respond or react in judgment, never in anger, and never in hatred. And I believe that is attainable based upon the progress I have already made and the shining examples set forth by other masters I have studied.

God gives us what we ask for. And for the last year I have been asking to heal this issue in me totally. And God has been answering my prayers in spades! In the last year events that triggered such strong negative emotion within me have been occurring ever more frequently, thus giving me the chance to work through my issues. Things like being setup by six people at Microsoft to be fired from my job, because they were jealous of me as published author. The games began after I advertised at work and having read at least some of my book they knew it would be successful. Another example is a housemate who was jealous of my relationship with my wife Shyni. She put dishwashing soap in our food when Shyni left the room, hoping I would fight with Shyni over the horrible meal. A different jealous housemate tormented us for weeks and tried to get us evicted from a home we had been renting a room in for six months. She had been there only two months, eventually after only a verbal confrontation from me, she called the police and claimed that I assaulted her (I certainly did not) and got me thrown into jail, twice…for a total of six days and four nights. And the list goes on.

Okay, so don’t worry. This is not the path I suggest you take. My goals are probably different from yours. Most people would simply like to have a life of peace, comfort, abundance and love. That is pretty simple to acquire and does not require such stringent work on self. My goal is Samadhi, divine and complete union with God, while still in the physical body. My goal is conscious control and ability to enter this state at will. Perhaps you think I am dreaming, but I have had a taste and I want more. Thus I am not afraid to face the darkness that still lives inside of me. I am in the process of reprogramming myself and I know that God will not give me anything that I cannot handle. To learn how to reprogram yourself click here …don’t be afraid to reprogram youself, you get to choose your own goals!

Getting back to the main point of this article…Judgment, Hatred and Anger will take you to hell faster than anything I know of. Believe me I speak from personal experience. During these extra difficult situations I found it difficult to keep my mind clear and loving. Judgment, Hatred and Anger all slipped in and took me for a ride. I lost control of my mind. Usually I am very much in control. Normally I let my feelings, especially negative emotions, alert me to the fact that I am thinking incorrectly. I stop my thoughts and deliberately go through my memories for more pleasant experiences to bask in until I feel good again. I do this all of the time and it works wonders! Peace returns and I have power and abilities beyond ordinary men…not a joke, I am totally serious.

But somehow, these extra difficult circumstances caused me to feel justified in my Judgment, Hatred and Anger. During these traumatic events I found it extremely difficult to change my focus. While sitting in jail I kept imagining myself beating that woman so badly that she would remember it for life. While in jail I had spoken to my wife, who was still in the house with that woman, and Shyni was being harassed without mercy, without me there to protect her. And it was not just the one housemate at this point; she had turned everyone else in the house against us too. So my mind was going crazy. Justifiable or not, my thoughts still ruined my experience of life while I contemplated them. They still pumped harmful chemicals into my bloodstream thus reducing my physical vitality and making me more prone to long term illnesses. I could feel it. I had not felt so horrible in years. Normally I am in a state of deep love, deep appreciation. Normally I am happy, peaceful, kind, and helpful. So the contrast was dramatic. A very clear lesson to me, and one I eventually worked through with much effort.

Our Judgments, Hatred and Anger have no benefit to us whatsoever. They will not benefit anyone in this world. They will only poison us, they will poison others. We will set a bad example for our children and those who look up to us. How many people lie in hospital beds right now suffering from cancer? It has reached epidemic proportions. I know people, I know them very well; most people hang out in Judgment, Hatred, and Anger way too often, way too long. Too much of the hormone cortisol is secreted into our blood stream at stressful times like this…cortisol has been linked to cancer and to Alzheimer’s disease. Do you want those diseases? Do you want to teach your children how to contract those diseases?

By contrast…our Love will heal everything that needs healing. Our compassion will help us see clearly what really can work to heal ourselves and our planet. Our acceptance of the trials and difficulties we co-create with God, through our own past erroneous programming and present negative thinking, will cleanse us of our sins, our negative karma will be washed away, our point of attraction will change such that we receive love and support and kindness from others. This too I have MUCH experience with. Please read my book and you find overwhelming evidence to this effect.

So if you feel justified in your Judgment, Hatred and Anger, please reflect back on what I am teaching you. We must all learn from our own experiences, this I understand. Go into judgment full force, get angry, hate…and feel how it feels. Do you like it? Do you attract beautiful things and events into your life when you are in Judgment? OBSERVE. And then Reprogram Yourself.

Even the Drug Addicts, even the Prostitutes, even the Child Molesters, even the liars and the cheaters, need the space to experience and understand life… And we must allow them to learn from their experience. We must help them, not hurt them. We must clear the logs out of our own eyes before we attempt to remove the splinters from theirs. We must own the pain in our own lives, the pain does not come from others; the pain comes from where and how we focus our minds. Keeping this lesson in mind may just rescue you from your next painful situation much faster. I hope it does. That is the reason I am sharing such personal information.

We are All One Being. I love myself. And I love You. Please be well.

Love and Blessings,
Michael Skowronski
Author of Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story

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A government that is truly Of the People,
By the People, and
For the People.
A government that offers true representation for the taxes you pay.

The Founding Idea

We are all dissatisfied with the way the governments of the world operate and how poorly they represent the true needs of the world and its inhabitants. Greed and people who just don’t have a clue are all corrupting the existing systems.

One of the main problems is that we vote for a few people to represent us on a wide variety of issues. One person cannot have expertise in all of the issues he is expected to work on. Nor do we as citizens who may have expertise have a real chance to participate in the decision making process. We simply leave it up to our representative to vote for us. That is like leaving it to chance and worse if the politician is corrupt.

The other problem is that the general public is allowed to vote on laws and public projects that they know nothing about. I do not think it is right that someone votes when they don’t understand the issues or proposed solutions. They might as well flip a coin. Actually it is worse, because too many people let fear be their guide, and we all know what a crappy guide fear is. It pretty much takes you to the opposite of what you would consciously choose.

The third problem is that there are far more problems to solve than representatives to solve them. And it takes too long to solve most problems. Longer than it needs to in this day and age.

The Solution

Elect our representatives on a problem by problem solving basis. Involve the people by posting the problem solving process on the internet. The general public can participate by posting and reading problem definitions and proposed solutions and by posting useful follow up information, from what they know and have experienced in life.

There will be a place to post fearful concerns along with special interest requests; these issues will be addressed rationally with the intention of providing the most loving solution in service to All of Life. But idle chit chat, hysteria and strong emotional rants will be discouraged and moved to a less prominent location; one would have to be searching for it to find it. The goal here is to make it easy to find the most useful information about the problem being solved, allow everyone to participate, and for anyone to be able to view information deemed less important just in case some sort of fraud is being committed.

As we come closer to a solution we elect representatives who will work out the final solution and administer it. Electing a representative will depend on their proven expertise and track record, especially in the area of fair and honest negotiation and administration. All people should have an equal opportunity to acquire a position of service and trust within the system.

Progress of the implementation of the solution will be tracked online and compared to the stated goals. Adjustments will be made by the administrating representatives, with the public being able to stop, slow down or speed up the process based on the various factors at hand. Successes and failures will be tracked for the benefit of future decision making.

With the capabilities of the internet for swift communication and logical organization of information, we can all communicate and work out the problems that plague our world together. Enough of the closed doors! These problems are solvable, and we are the ones who can do it!!!

We need to build a World Solutions Database to hold problem reports, the dialogs for their solutions, and the results of past successes and failures. It needs to be organized such that those with true expertise offer solutions and rise up in status amongst the group. Those who want to distract and waste time with frivolous postings and hateful ideas get pushed off to the side. Their postings will remaining available for those who will scrutinize the system and watch for fraud and the unfair exclusion of ideas. This is one of the first projects on my plate as soon as royalties for my book begin to roll in. It is my commitment to use the wealth I am in the process of generating to heal this planet from its dysfunctional ways of life.

I already see a similar system in action in the corporate world. I work at Microsoft as a software engineer. We deal with problems all of the time. We take bug reports and must solve the problems for our customers, often there are conflicting interests. A huge amount of data is taken into account, egos get involved, but logic and reason based on provable results is ultimately what is used to solve the problem. And the market tells us if we are wrong. We track our results and continue to chart new courses based on new data. We can use a model much like this in servicing the needs of the world. And all the data used to arrive at solutions can be made fully available to the public online at all times.

This is an attraction based government. This organization has already begun independent of our current governments. It will begin working with various world governments as each opportunity presents itself. Success over time of this organization should bring a gradual end to the current model of government in favor of this new method. Laying out of the rules of operation of this system is the first project that I am now opening up for discussion. Yes, that is right. Your comments made today will be the start of a new International World Government.

The pace of change could be much more rapid and made in a way that allows every human being on the planet to participate in any issue that is of importance to them and ignore issues that do not matter to them. With full disclosure of all issues that are of public concern online everyone has the opportunity to get involved in a positive way.

Understanding Each Other, understanding Life, understanding God will be the global outcome of such a system. Please join us and help form this new system of government.

Namasté
Michael Skowronski
Author of Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story

Popularity: 4% [?]

Lately I have been reading mail coming from caregivers who are falling down on the job. The pain and suffering they have to deal with is overwhelming them. They find themselves taking on the pains of others and depression and deep sadness is the result. This also applies to parents who are overwhelmed with supporting the family and caring for their own children.

It is of the utmost importance to take care of yourself number one. YOU MUST BE YOUR OWN TOP PRIORITY!

I cannot stress this point highly enough. If you do not take care of yourself then you have very little to offer to another person that will be of real value. This is because the energy coming from you is harmful. Especially to one who is extra sensitive due to some physical or mental illness. And children too react to your suffering and worry. The following are links to blogs that will help you take care of yourself in your role as a caregiver…

Being a Caregiver
Reprogramming Yourself
Meditation and the Wandering Mind…Meditation is especially important for a caregiver!

Have you ever wondered how I came to understand the relationship between our thoughts and our energy so well?

It comes from experience, much experience. The following excerpts are taken from my book Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story. Kathryn was my late wife who was dying of cancer at the time the “Lessons In Energy” story takes place. She was very intuitive, a gifted psychic and a Reiki Master. She was a powerful healer for others and taught me a lot about energy and how it works through the following sorts of experiences…

Our First Reiki Experiences

I did not feel much when I gave a Reiki treatment. Occasionally I would pick up information about the people I was working on, but my head kept questioning the validity of what I was feeling. One time when Kathryn was having back pains she asked me for some help. I was happy to be able to help and almost surprised that she believed that I could. She sat in a dining room chair, leaned forward and asked me to do Reiki on her back. In my mind I prayed, Please Holy Spirit move through me to help Kathryn in the best way possible.

After a short while she said, “Oh Mike, that feels great; it’s just what I needed. You have such good healing energy.”

I believed Kathryn could really feel the energy so I was excited to hear that coming from her. Without saying anything, I did not move a muscle; I only thought to myself, Wow, I am doing this. It is actually working. I might just turn out to be a healer after all. I felt thrilled and excited; I was even more enthusiastic to continue treating Kathryn, until….

At the very same moment I was having those thoughts, Kathryn responded, “That’s not it, it’s changed. The energy feels bad now.”

I immediately recognized how I let my ego get in the way. I prayed quietly, Okay Holy Spirit, I’m sorry, I’ll get out of the way and allow you to move the energy as you see fit. I am only an instrument of your healing.

Once again, at the very same moment I began having those new thoughts, Kathryn responded with, “That’s better…It’s back.” Not only was I amazed that I was actually changing my energy with each thought, but that Kathryn really could pick it up. This experience made a profound impression on my mind.

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One of the most common things I hear people say about meditation is, “I have tried many times to sit down and meditate, but I just can’t seem to get my mind to be quiet. No matter what I do it never works, my mind just wanders off onto many other things. I wish I could be like others who love meditation and get so much out of it. But I just can’t do it!”

If this is your problem, join the club, you are amongst the majority and this blog is written especially for you. If you are seasoned in the art of meditation, practice regularly, and enjoy meditation, then please post a comment that expands on what I have to offer here. Other points of view especially from those who are seasoned mediators would be really helpful to those who are reading this blog.

Have you ever noticed that masters refer to meditation as a practice? Meditation is a Practice! It is exercise for the mind, an exercise to gain control of the mind. For most people the mind goes wherever it will, without control of the owner. It is like the servant is ruling the master. You need to become the master of your mind; you need to direct the mind in where it is going.

The mind controls your feelings. Whatever you think of has a corresponding feeling…is it a good feeling or a bad one? Law of Attraction brings to us people, things and events that match our thoughts. At a much deeper level, at the level that you and I are God, we actually create all of manifest creation, all of the dimensions of life including the physical dimension.

The human brain is not the same thing as the mind, however the brain and all manifest form is created by the mind. You can think of the brain like a computer, it has an operator. Sure the brain can process thought, but the thought that is injected into the brain, the input of ideas and creativity, comes from the mind. And of course mind is created by God, for those who wish to insist that God is creating everything.

The ultimate goal of meditation is to move beyond the physical into the non-physical and into divine union with God. This requires shutting down the mind and the various sensory inputs. I have read accounts from more than one master who says that the reason so many people report spiritual experiences on heavy doses of drugs is that they are essentially breaking the mind, cracking it open, and revealing a glimpse of the dimensions beyond the physical. But unfortunately most people under the influence of drugs have no control of their minds which is the reason the experiences are so out of control and even harmful. And then there are others, take Ram Das for example, who had some control of his mind and came back from his drug trips with very enlightening wisdom to share with the world. A person may be able to hide his inner insanity, to some degree, while clean and sober, but while under the influence of drugs or alcohol, he reveals the real chaotic state of his mind.

For most people, the goal of mediation should be to simply gain control of the mind in order to live a happy life. Do NOT worry about trying to still the mind completely. The reason I say that is because most people are satisfied to be in the physical world and enjoy physical things. Most people want things, perhaps wealth, perhaps fame, perhaps a hot lover, perhaps they want loving children and certainly physical comforts. Most people want life to run smooth and for changes to be under their control. Perhaps they would like to know God too, but they are content to wait until they die to discover heaven. There is nothing wrong with this. There is a reason we incarnate in the physical world, and that is to play in and experience what the physical world has to offer.

There is another type of person who is trying to perfect themselves, or pay off their karma, in order to escape the pain of physical life. (Now please do not get the idea that I am judging a person who thinks this way, or anyway for that matter. I am simply stating observations from my experience and NOT assigning a value to it.) My first efforts at meditation were highly motivated by this sort of thinking. This person may be trying to know God, but the reality of it is that they are still very much attached to the physical world and would be quite happy to be here if everything was going well in their life. They will certainly re-incarnate once again. Again for this sort of person, the goal of mediation should be to simply gain control of the mind in order to live a happy life.

Then there is the person who has done it all, or all that they really want to do, over many lifetimes. They have discovered that the external objects of the world hold little or no meaning for them. They have discovered that they can be happy anytime they wish. They can still enjoy things of the physical world, but they can also enjoy being without these things. They are no longer motivated by chasing these things; they are motivated by discovering who they really are and what their relationship to God is. This sort of person already has a great deal of control over their mind, they already understand the relationship between their thoughts and what those thoughts create and attract. The goal of mediation for this sort of person should be to still the mind in order to move beyond the physical while still having a physical body.

I want to stress that there is no right or wrong in being in any of these places in your eternal life. You are where you are, it is best to accept that and move through life content and happy to be who you are and where you are. It is all in divine perfection. Too many religious or spiritual people try to force a stage of practice or development on themselves or on another person that is not right for them and their place in their eternal life.

Also don’t take everything I am saying here as absolute truth. I am now discussing things that I have some experience with mixed in with some divinely inspired intuition and book knowledge based on the writings of masters far more advanced than I. Normally I like to teach from a safe place, from my own personal experience, but to do this topic justice I must go a little further out on a limb. I have reached some pretty deep states, but they were a gift from God and not a highly developed skill that I have. Those experiences were a prod to make me reach harder for a state of mind I previously doubted existed.

To be continued…

Love and Blessings,

Michael Skowronski

Author of Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story

Popularity: 3% [?]

Are miracles that are reported throughout history true? Or are they just the hopeful fantasies of silly superstitious people? I say, for the most part, they are true and I will tell you why further down…

When Jesus performed his miracle of the loaves and fishes before the great crowds that came to hear him speak what was the first thing that he did? FIRST He gave thanks, second he broke the bread and fishes, and third he instructed his disciples to distribute them to the crowds. Jesus gave thanks even before the miracle had occurred. Gratitude is a very powerful tool for creating. You cannot just give lip service, or mental service to gratitude, for when gratitude is done properly it is ALWAYS followed by a very good feeling that we refer to as gratitude. This feeling often moves us to tears…that is how powerful this feeling is.

I am often moved to tears by the responses of my friends on MySpace and here on my blog. THANK YOU FOR YOUR LOVE!!! Some of my friends send me their gratitude for the work they see me doing. This brings tears to my eyes. Some of my friends have asked for my help to get them through some difficult situation. Once I have finished composing my email response to them, I am filled with intense gratitude because helping people is the biggest goal that I have for my life…more tears, even before I receive a grateful response back.

It is our emotions that tell us when our thoughts are on target. If we are feeling bad, we have separated ourselves from God, we have separated ourselves from our own higher power, from our source of energetic sustenance. But when we feel good, we are on target, we are connected with God, we are receiving our intuition, we are on our path in life heading where we ultimately want to be heading. And do not confuse this with the path that others, such as our family or our society, want us to go, this path I am referring to is the path that we have chosen along with the higher aspects of ourselves that is in direct communication with God.

I have experienced MANY miracles in my life. First let me say, that a miracle is just an event in life that we do not understand. All miracles occur according to spiritual law and coming into alignment with spiritual law. But for the most part we don’t understand these laws and so it seems like there has been some sort of divine intervention. There is no intervention, we are divine, we have only forgotten this fact and happened to stumble unknowingly upon the right thoughts and actions to receive our miracle. (Even if I word things otherwise, which I sometimes do, it is only so that what I am saying can be easily understood or accepted by others…other masters do the same…but they too know this fact I just stated.)

The more you practice the more you will understand Spiritual Law. Taking an active role by studying the teachings of great masters is the best place to start…but you still have to do the work, do the practice. You must come to understand the relationship between your thoughts and your feelings and the results you receive…including both the inner changes in your personality as well as the outer world changes that become manifest in your experience.

There was a time that I thought these reported miracles were a myth, a fantasy, the delusions of some superstitious people. But I no longer brush reports of miracles off so easily. I have had two major physical healing miracles in my life, and many minor ones too. The first major one is detailed in my book, Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story. The second one is detailed in a book that is just about to be published by another author called Living the Law of Attraction. Details about that book can be found at this website: http://livingtheloa.com

I live an amazing life…I know some of you who have read my bulletins and blogs might think I have a lot of dramas, that is true I do, but for every drama I have about ten things that are going so very very well. And those dramas I am also calling to myself by deliberately asking God to heal me of the last of my issues with judgment, anger, and criticism. I have been saving the best stories of amazing coincidences and miracles for my books. These experiences I have had, and deliberately call to myself, are due to the spiritual laws that I do understand…and GRATTITUDE is at the TOP of the list when it comes to POWERFUL ways to use the mind.

Be sure to remember to take ten minutes to remember everything you are grateful for. Actually this is a good practice to do every day. You too would experience many miracles if you did this ten minute practice every day. Guaranteed!

Love and Blessings to all,

Michael Skowronski

Author of Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story
Also on Amazon.com and BarnesAndNoble.com…including awesome book reviews!

Popularity: 4% [?]

This is continued from Drowning in Worry…

Letting go of attachments to people, places, things, or getting what you want, is the first thing you need to consider. You don’t need anything outside of yourself to make yourself happy. If you did then people with lots of stuff and plenty of money would be happy. But for the most part, they are unhappy too. Or they constantly need exciting things to happen in their lives to be happy, and when the excitement ends so does their happiness. Soon such people will enter a cycle of life where their resources are gone and they are forced to find happiness inside or be miserable. Perhaps you are in such a cycle now. This is Life’s way of teaching us; it is not a punishment as too many people think.

Slow Down. While the changes are in progress we need to slow down and change our expectations of life and of ourselves. We will make mistakes, love yourself anyway. You need to be okay with mistakes that have already been made, but then be firm and stick with your reprogramming efforts.

Feel Your Feelings. We need to check in frequently to make sure we are still on track. Something that felt good at one time may not feel good at another time. We need to feel, and notice when something does not feel good and then notice our focus, notice our thoughts. What are we thinking, what are we feeling, how do they relate? Where is our focus? We need to notice what our automatic reaction is and become aware of the programming that is to be changed.

Meditation and Contemplation. Is meditation a habit for you? It really is necessary in some form or another. Is it a joy for you? It can be and will be if you are doing it correctly. It should be as important in your day as eating, sleeping, bathing and exercising (if you are leaving one of those items out put it back in!) You need to be so skilled at meditation that you can sit down in a moment of deep suffering and bring yourself back into balance, back to peace. This requires practice, repetitive, ongoing, daily practice. If you say you don’t have time for meditation then what you are really saying is that you don’t have time to have a good life.

Visualizations. We need to visualize the way we want to be and the way we want life to be. We need to script our response to life for specific situations that come up and tie it to the triggering events. I give a powerful example of doing this in my post Reprogramming Yourself . This takes only 30 seconds to 2 minutes to do but should be repeated as often as you can until the change registers in your response. Your scripted response should be loving, it should feel good to contemplate it.

Stop Negative Thinking. You will know you are in negative thinking when you feel bad! Make sure you notice when you feel bad and then notice what you are thinking. During your visualization time, if negative thoughts occur stop them and counter them. You need to become skilled at finding new ways to view the situation such that you feel better about it and can respond from a loving place. Practicing this when you feel good will make it easier to do when you feel bad.

RESULTS. When you get results, you need to remember them, re-live them, use them to re-inspire yourself in the future when you are feeling blue and when you feel like you are not making any progress.

Hang Out ONLY with Positive People or People ONLY when they are Positive. This can and should take the form of books, movies, and audio programs. Of course this can be real live people too, but you may not have such people in your life at the moment, so do what you can with what you have. When negativity creeps into your experience, in whatever form, slow down, change your focus, change your thinking, end that particular dialog or end your visit with the person you are with. This may be difficult at first but it is necessary.

Prepare Yourself for the Life you wish to Live. Again this would be study of books, movies, audio programs, and classes that will prepare your mind and change your thinking. This can be fun as long as you are not attached to an outcome such as becoming rich this year. Educate yourself for the sake of enjoying the positive flow of ideas into your mind and life. Here are some book suggestions…

* “Rich Dad Poor Dad” by Robert Kiyosaki
* “Conversations with Millionaires” by Mike Litman
* “The One Minute Millionaire” by Robert Allen and Mark Victor Hansen

Reading these books or listening to them as audio books will teach you something about wealth. Being wealthy and staying wealthy is a skill. People who win the lottery most often end up in a worse position within a few years, deeply in debt, because they do not understand money, or how to make it work for them.

Stop watching TV and begin to study. Opportunities are coming to us all of the time. You must be the person who is ready and capable of taking advantage of the opportunities that are coming. Learn how to trade stocks, and practice without investing until you are very successful. Learn how to market on the internet. Learn how to manage others who will work for your business. Don’t get the idea you will be rich next week or even next year, but if you keep on studying and practicing, one day you will become rich and forever more you will have these skills programmed into your very being. A treasure that is stored up in heaven so to speak, a treasure that will travel with you into your next life times.

Read books on developing relationship skills. After all “Like Attracts Like”, which means if your skills have caused you to push men out of your life, then you will continue to do so, and you will not attract a man who is good for you. You will attract a man with relationship skills that match yours in some way.

My book, Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story , will teach you better relationship skills. It will also teach you how to make yourself happy and improve your self-esteem. And it is entertaining as well so it can satisfy multiple needs at the same time. And there are many other good books on these topics as well. Check out http://Abraham-Hicks.com . Abraham is one of the best teachers you will find.

While doing all of this study and practice, make happiness right now, each and every minute of each and every day, your 1 goal. If you do, everything else will fall easily into place.

I hope this helps. If ANYONE READING THIS BLOG has more specific questions feel free to post questions directly in my blogs and I will respond as I can and post them back in my blogs.

Namasté
Michael Skowronski
Author of Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story

Popularity: 4% [?]

Being able to reprogram ourselves is a very important skill to have. If you can reprogram yourself then you can choose who you want to be and set out to make it so. It is particularly useful when you discover some automatic behavior; either a thought or action, that is causing you to suffer.

Later I will share a fantastic story of deliberate and difficult inner change that I underwent which had a dramatic and noticeable effect in the outer world. It looks very much like a miracle. But first let’s talk about the basics.

Old behaviors, ones that go way back, too many people think they cannot change them. This is just not so! How is it that you came to have the programming that you have? Unfortunately most people don’t know, and worse they blame it on outside circumstances.

Be Selective About Your Entertainment

Certainly the outside world has done its share to program you. News, movies, magazines, books, advertising, other people have had a very strong influence on your life. This is one of the reasons it is so very important to be selective about what and who you give your focus to, especially early in your reprogramming efforts. You need to ask yourself, “When I focus on this TV program, when I listen to this person speak, do I feel good? Do I feel empowered, light hearted, happy, loving?” If not I suggest you turn your focus towards something that does feel good, which in effect will turn you away from them, at least until you have successfully reprogrammed your mind.

Repetition and is the key to reprogramming. If you study hypnosis, or marketing which involves hypnosis, you will find that repetition is a key element behind their success. It takes time and deliberate conscious effort to reprogram yourself. But the results are worth the effort.

Any skill we wish to develop requires repetition, or practice, for it to become a habit or automatic. The first few times you rode a bike you fell down frequently, but if you continued riding, falling down became such a rare thing that years could go by between falls.

I learned to roller-skate on the old fashioned 4 wheel skates. I had an aggressive style and skating technique, which relied heavily on stopping via the toe stops. When I changed to rollerblades I automatically tried to stop on the non-existent toe stops and fell on my face, twice. After that I decided I had to reprogram my body so that it would respond correctly to this new toy. Even though I could skate aggressively, and with style, I had to slow myself down and teach my body a new way of stopping. It took patience but within about 4 weeks time I was skating like crazy as if I had been on rollerblades for years and I wasn’t falling.

Changing our psyche is a very similar process. Here are some of the key steps or elements involved:

* Slow Down. While the changes are in progress we need to slow down and change our expectations of life and of ourselves. We will make mistakes, love yourself anyway. You need to be okay with mistakes that have already been made, but then be firm and stick with your reprogramming efforts.

*Feel Your Feelings. We need to check in frequently to make sure we are still on track. Something that felt good at one time may not feel good at another time. We need to feel, and notice when something does not feel good and then notice our focus, notice our thoughts. What are we thinking, what are we feeling, how do they relate? Where is our focus? We need to notice what our automatic reaction is and become aware of the programming that is to be changed.

*Meditation and Contemplation. Is meditation a habit for you? It really is necessary in some form or another. Is it a joy for you? It can be and will be if you are doing it correctly. It should be as important in your day as eating, sleeping, bathing and exercising (if you are leaving one of those items out put it back in!) You need to be so skilled at meditation that you can sit down in a moment of deep suffering and bring yourself back into balance, back to peace. This requires practice, repetitive, ongoing, daily practice. If you say you don’t have time for meditation then what you are really saying is that you don’t have time to have a good life.

*Visualizations. We need to visualize the way we want to be and the way we want life to be. We need to script our response to life for specific situations that come up and tie it to the triggering events. I give an example of doing this in the story below. This takes only 30 seconds to 2 minutes to do but should be repeated as often as you can until the change registers in your response. Your scripted response should be loving, it should feel good to contemplate it.

*Stop Negative Thinking. During your visualization time, if negative thoughts occur stop them and counter them. You need to become skilled at finding new ways to view the situation such that you feel better about it and can respond from a loving place. Practicing this when you feel good will make it easier to do when you feel bad.

*RESULTS. When you get results, you need to remember them, re-live them, use them to re-inspire yourself in the future when you are feeling blue and when you feel like you are not making any progress.

Continued in Reprogramming Anger…

Love and Blessings,
Michael Skowronski
Author of Unforgettable - A Love and Spiritual Growth Story

Popularity: 3% [?]