Lessons in Energy
Continued from Helping Others: Reiki, Energy and Physical Support
On one occasion I was giving Kathryn a full Reiki treatment; she was laid out on the massage table. I had been working on her for about five minutes when Kathryn commented, “That feels very nice; it is just what I need.” By this time I had made the mistake of getting caught up in my ego too many times. Each time that happened, Kathryn would correct me. It almost got to the point where I did not want to work on her because of this. But as time went on I was grateful for the fantastic training I got at Master Kathryn’s feet.
On this occasion, I held my focus on being a clear channel for the Holy Spirit to move through for about another ten minutes longer, until I got to Kathryn’s abdomen. I knew this was where the cancer was. Fear came over me, but I did not realize it, I just became stupid and lost my focus. I began to imagine the energy flowing through me and into her like a raging white water river. I imagined this incredibly powerful force washing the cancer away. Clear clean white water flushing away the unwanted disease. I was just beginning to feel pleased with myself for coming up with such a great visualization when…
Within just a few seconds Kathryn said, “Whoa, that’s way too fast…too intense! You have to slow that down. Please it hurts; it’s making me nauseous!” Kathryn had a pained look on her face; she opened her eyes and began to sit up.
It took me a few moments to comprehend what was happening. I did not want to believe that I was doing harm, I wanted to help. Kathryn’s pleas brought me back to a place of cooperation and openness, I silently asked the Holy Spirit, Please work through me in exactly the right way that would best help Kathryn.
Kathryn responded immediately, “That’s much better. Thanks.” She lay back down, and I continued giving her an energy treatment. I never even told her what I did, and she did not ask.
Being able to shift my energy on demand was a skill that I had to develop in order to support Kathryn as she was going through her most painful times with cancer. It seemed that Kathryn had to remind me when my mind was drifting into uncomfortable areas. There were also times where my intense passion for life could be very unpleasant for Kathryn, and she brought this to my attention as well.
Can you remember a time when you were uncomfortable in your body? For me this happens if I am tired or if I need something to eat. At those times, have you ever felt how your sense of irritation increases when someone else enters the room or comes near you? Kathryn had been in a state of intense irritation for many months now; I expect her cancer complications were beyond any irritation I had ever experienced. This amplified her sensitivity to my energy.
I would come home from some outside activity, and often I would be feeling full of life and enthusiasm. In great excitement I would go to say hello to Kathryn and to sit with her for a while. Just entering the room with my energy revved up to such a state was nearly enough to make her vomit. She often had to ask me to settle my energy down.
It was difficult not to take this personally. I would think, I haven’t done anything wrong. Why does she have to be like that? Can’t she tell that it is her illness that is making her feel this way? However, when I thought like this, it only made matters worse for Kathryn. She would grab the bowl and beg me, “Michael, please that is not helpful. Please change your energy or go somewhere else.”
Eventually I would realize what I was doing and change my thinking to, This is my beloved wife. She is suffering. It will be much easier for me to change my energy than it will be for her. What thoughts can I hold that will make this better?
Kathryn replied, “That’s it, now your energy feels much better.” Yet I had only thought those things; I had not said anything out loud. I had not even found the new thing to focus on; there was only the questioning, the desired to find a loving place to focus. That turned out to be enough of a mental shift. When my mind was genuinely concerned for Kathryn’s welfare she felt fine having me near her. But if I was excited, wanting to tell her about my afternoon, or if I was feeling guilt for not taking her with me, she was asking me to change my energy.
Well I hope you got something of value out of that. And I do encourage you to buy my book and read it. You will see how poorly I understood life and our energies earlier in my life, the mistakes I made and what occured to change me into the wise and enlightened person I am today. It took another five years (beyond the story in this book) of study, practice and Life experience to get it down, but now I am undeniably a different person who really does understand how life and our energies work.
Love and Blessings,
Michael Skowronski
Author of Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story
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