Unforgettable Love Story

I had a friend, who shall remain Anonymous, write the following letter to me in response to my blog What is Right or Wrong? Your Feelings are Your Guide!…

Hi: Right or wrong?… Somethings are really uncomplicated when it comes to that topic.. for example, if I took my time to send you and your wife a Valentine’s comment, it would had been RIGHT or proper for one of you to reciprocate and send one back or at least have the courtesy to acknowledge the receipt.. now, that was WRONG! Trust me your time is NOT more valuable than mine whatsoever! Preach… Walk the talk!

Peace, Anonymous

How does it feel to you when you judge people Anonymous? Is that a good feeling? Watch that over time. Notice what it does to your internal system. Do you know that the hormone cortisol is secreted into your bloodstream in excessive amounts when you engage in such thinking? That is a scientifically proven fact. This hormone is also linked to cancer and memory diseases such as Alzheimer’s disease.

So you have to ask yourself is it really worth it to destroy your own body for someone who does not even care enough to give you the respect you deserve? How many people will come into your life that you will have to train in how to respect you? And once you have trained those people, what about the next batch that comes along? This will become your life long duty and it will never end!

I am very sorry that you are offended by my lack of returning a comment. However I did not receive a comment from you, nor did my wife. I just went back and checked them all and there is nothing from you in either of our profiles. And it is rare that I don’t accept a comment, only when it is spam or I suspect the links in the comment are from hackers.

I understand jumping to false and inaccurate conclusions as I have done exactly that TOO MANY times in my life. One thing I have discovered about anger and judgment…there is ALWAYS something I don’t understand. If I only dig a little deeper I discover it.

I do practice what I teach. I am loving in my thoughts and actions. I still have my occasional slip ups but I quickly notice when it happens and change immediately and put in some effort to reprogram my reactions. But I have never taught anyone that being a good person requires that you return comments…where did you learn that from? It is a false teaching. If you think right and wrong can be defined by such a way, then you really do need to read my blog What is Right or Wrong? Your Feelings are Your Guide!

I do make every attempt to return comments, but there are times I just cannot keep up with all the comments I get. I had 3500 friends on valentines day, now I have many more than that. Sometimes I do not return comments that are generic and general in nature. Just because I get the impression people just send the same thing to all their friends and they are not really even writing to me specifically. But when someone writes to me personally and it is an indication they have actually taken the time to read my writings or enjoy my videos or slide shows, then I respond in a very personal way.

I am not offended by your outburst. However I suggest you take a look at this pattern in you for your own sake. You will alienate friends and loved ones this way and you will certainly make your own life miserable with it.

Cortisol? very well aware of it; however, too much credit given to the simple fact that I found it outrageous that someone that “teaches” about life would act in such manner. Very SIMPLE… not judging, no outburst (very funny), no damage to my internal system etc lol Again, I believe in honesty and I simply stated how I felt… I forgot about it after I put my thoughts in writing. SIMPLE, you are going too deep… Courtesy is elementary my dear… As far as friends.. it will happen to you. Have a wonderful day, Namaste, Anonymous.

Finding it “outrageous” that someone would act in such a manner, whether they teach what I teach or not, is certainly a judgment. It seems that you don’t even know what a judgment is. You have created a rule, (you mistakenly thought) someone broke it, and you have judged it to be so wrong that you are outraged by it. That is a judgment.

A non-judgment would be to observe that someone did or did not do a certain thing and to observe that it is either taking that person towards or away from their goals in life. You could even be disappointed they are heading away from their own goals or that you missed out on their company without that being a judgment. But to be outraged that someone does not do what you expect them to do is a judgment.

This is a HUGE issue with far too many people. They do not even understand what a judgment is. And you need to understand the difference between judgment and observation because judgments do harm yourself and sometimes those you judge.

Judgments of SMALL things can do you greater harm than judgments of big things. The reason for this is that with big things you are often afraid to make a judgment because of the repercussions, but with small things you think they don’t matter, but they do. Habits of thinking in judgmental ways are formed each time you hold a judgment. So if you hold judgments about many small things then you establish a strong set of habits that become difficult to break once you do realize you need to break them.

Yes I believe that courtesy is elementary and important. I believe it is helpful in making people feel welcome, wanted and loved. I believe it is helpful in gaining people’s trust and their aid when you need it. But courtesy is not so important as to become outraged when it is not present, it is not so important as to ruin your mood for even an instant, which can snowball into ruining many more moments. And courtesy is not so important as to develop a habit of judgment because courtesy was missing.

I am NOT going too deep. Everyone will eventually want and need to go this deep if they wish to live a happy and peaceful life. I am not judging you either. I am simply observing that what you are doing will not take you to a peaceful and happy life and that it could create disease in your body. My feelings about your letter to me are happy because you offered the substance for a perfect lesson that will heal many people.

Love and Blessings,
Michael Skowronski
Author of Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story

image credits to mordecai

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