Unforgettable Love Story

Is it your fault that someone lied to you, abused you, cheated on you or disrespected you? Is it your fault when you are mistreated? Are you to blame?

Unfortunately this is such a common belief that too many people hold when they are mistreated by someone else. For most of us as we grew up there were those who we trusted, those who were stronger than us, those who had more skills, those who were in charge of our lives, or those who were cool that gave us messages like, “It is your fault that I am blowing up on you. If you were smarter, prettier, paying more attention, if you did not do that thing you just did, bla bla bla…I would not be treating you like this.” Have any of us escaped the experience of someone else spewing their verbal abuse upon us?

When this happens to us at a young and impressionable age we tend to believe it. We develop all sorts of methods to cope. Some people rebel, get angry, abuse others, break some rule, or damage something. Other people hold it in, think they are at fault, and walk through life doubting themselves. No matter which way you react, the result is a person with low self-esteem.

A rebel who lashes out or who abuses others is just being arrogant. They may know they don’t deserve the ill treatment, they may be strong enough to express it, but they still have low self-esteem and they do not really love themselves. To truly love yourself REQUIRES that you love all other people too. Did you know that? You cannot heal your low self-esteem by becoming really good and skilled at one or more things. Being a great musician, sports figure, business person, or even lover does not make you worthy. Perhaps it helps you get or keep a job, but it can also win you the jealousy of others and get you fired. However doing your best for the good feeling you get from engaging your God given creativity into some endeavor that you enjoy is always a good thing and it does help you with your self-esteem.

The flip side of arrogance is a person who is constantly doubting themselves. They tend to think the problems of others they are in relationship with are their fault. They try too hard to please others. If someone suddenly stops like them, or suddenly disrespects them, they take it personal as if it must be true. If this is happening for you then you need to counter those thoughts with truth. You need to face the fact that most people are in some level of dysfunction in their lives. You need to remind yourself that their spewing is their issue. Reprogram Yourself such that anytime you receive disrespect your mind is flooded with talk that helps you understand the truth of who you really are.

Of course there are times we do things we are not proud of. We feel some guilt. When someone dumps on us at a time like this we feel extra bad. Even at these times you need to remember that their spewing is their issue and yes you too have your own issues to heal. When you realize you did something you are not proud of, something that you feel bad about, simply take a few moments to Reprogram Yourself so you will eventually cease doing such things.

As I was writing my blog I came across this blog called The Awakening that was posted by one of my friends. If you want to read about a great vision for how your life will be as you heal your self-esteem do read this blog. It will inspire you and will direct you in the sort of thinking that needs to be changed. It will provide you with help in your reprogramming efforts.

Love and Blessings,
Michael Skowronski
Author of Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story
Also on Amazon.com and BarnesAndNoble.com…including awesome book reviews!

image credits to Federico Erra

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