Unforgettable Love Story

Selfishness is underrated, in fact we should all be taught to be selfish rather than selfless! Our society has it all backwards with their rules of how we should all behave.

If you want to have anything of value to offer to anyone you must first take care of yourself. How do you feel when someone does something for you out of duty and obligation? For me, more often than not I wish they would not have bothered. Often what they do is just plain annoying or even worse, we have to undo what they did and redo it ourselves.

The feeling that goes with the intention of “I must do this because it is expected of me” is horrible. The more open and aware you become the more you feel… when you start to feel things on a deeper level you also let go of your desire to tolerate the pain. This is a good thing.

It is like we have all been trained to keep our hand on a hot stove. If you keep it there long enough you will develop very hard tough skin and loose all sense of feeling. This is how we are taught to approach life. It will burn you so you better toughen up so that you can take it.

How ignorant is that! Our feelings are telling us to remove our hand from the stove. It is a normal and positive reaction to pain. Soft, pliable and sensitive hands are much more affective and attractive, don’t you agree?

And so it is with our lives. Our negative feelings are meant to tell us there is danger here; we are going to get burnt, back away. But back away from what? Back away from what we are thinking about, back away from where we are focusing our attention, back away from the situation we are in. Well where do we go with our thoughts and focus? Towards anything that feels better!

Sometimes it is a stretch, but reach, reach for the better feeling thoughts. Once you have a firm grip on it, reach again for an even better feeling thought.

“How does one deal with or cope with a person considered special who has a very distorted opinion of who you are? Is it selfish to want to let go?”

So I would like to disarm the judgement charged word “selfish”. Being “selfish” can be, and usually is, a good thing not a bad one. Your feelings will tell you. Your desire to let go is natural; it comes from your Source.

But what are you going to let go of? The person? You could, but you consider them to be special so why would you do this? (He has let go of me.)

Does this person really have a distorted opinion of who you are? (Yes) Or are the words they use to communicate the best they can find to describe the feeling they have around your energy? (Yes, this too) That vibration they feel as you judge them, or want more from them than they have to offer, or expect them to behave in someway different from the way they wish to behave.

Right now I can only guess, but I bet I am spot on. Sure you think they are special, but what else do you think? And how often do you think those unpleasant things about this person?

People discount the power of their thoughts. They just don’t understand that thoughts are the starting point, the building blocks, of everything we experience in life including physical matter.

I know from personal experience that I can tell you what the emotional tone of your thoughts are. Often I can describe them precisely, other times I can only say what it feels like. I know many people who can too, and can clearly articulate what they are picking up.

You really do not have private thoughts! They are perceivable, by everyone. However, most people are too out of touch with their feelings, and overrule them with all the rules of behavior we have been brainwashed into believing.

You also need to ask yourself, “In what way is my view of myself distorted?” My guess would be that your own self-view has been influenced by many people from early in your life, a not so pretty view. Although you may realize that you are unique and worthy in every sense of the word you may also find that ultimately you have a deep-seated belief in your unworthiness.

“We are all human beings with a great capacity for feeling compassion for our fellow humans because we have the same basic needs. To live and breathe and be happy.”

This is the statement one has made to answer how to deal with this person. This person just wants to be happy. And they are not happy when they focus on you when you are thinking bad feeling thoughts about them. (This person is exhibiting intensely paranoid behavior.)

The best thing you can do for yourself and for your friend is to find their best qualities to focus on. Ignoring their comments as you are face-to-face speaking with them can be very difficult. But what about the few hundreds of other times you remember what they said, mull them over in your mind, present your case to the contrary… you know what I mean? That gut wrenching argument with no one but your own mind.

This is how you stay stuck and attract such people into your life. You may even attract a very kind and loving person, but you will rendezvous with them on the one and only occasion they feel like verbally bashing someone.

Take your hand off of the stove. Practice better feeling thoughts.

Really this other person is a moot point. (Even though they are doing such bizare things?) They have their issues that they need to deal with in order to improve their life, not your life. It should and can have no affect on you. Their unkind words and opinions come from their insecurities and you are simply taking them on as being real.

The reason it does have an affect on you is because you have made it so important to you. You have fixated on this person delivering to you what you want from life and they aren’t doing it.

If you take your hand off the stove, by changing your thinking, the heat will dissipate and your natural good feeling state will return. When you do this first your inner reality changes, then in time the outer reality changes too.

“How can one reach out to a person who has fears? How to rid themselves of this phobia? Do you think that a person who holds on to that fear and their past (a major part of what caused them to develop this phobia) is really too afraid to move on?”

Nothing is set in concrete. A simple change of mind will fix everything. But they must be willing and wanting to do it. Yes, many people do stay stuck in fear for life.

But with each and every person who faces their fears and overcomes them, there is an energy created that has a profound influence on literally thousands of people. I again will turn your concern with this issue back on yourself. What fears do you have within you that you are not facing?

The best way to influence change for anyone is to live it yourself. This planet, physical reality, will always have fear, pain and suffering. It is part of the game. You as an individual get to choose what you focus on.

If you focus on the fear of others then the Universe will deliver plenty of these people to you. If you focus on the vast amount of wellbeing on the planet and in your life then more of that will show up. It really is that simple. One “Now Moment” after another hold your focus on what you do want and let the rest pass you by.

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