Unforgettable Love Story

A Course in Miracles says that God does not condemn because there is nothing to forgive. To arrive at this conclusion however will require a different perspective than the one from which pain and suffering occur on. It will also require practice. When you are in emotional distress you have less energy, less power available to you. That is when we fall into habits and run on automatic pilot. So it is essential to develop new habits when you are feeling good, or at least in a neutral place.

Let’s explore a real life example given to me by a woman who lost her only sibling to murder. She said that she was looking forward to seeing “the day of repentance” rather than “the day of judgment” for his murders. That means she is very close to grasping the deeper lessons in her experience.

This exercise falls under the categories of both contemplation and right thinking. Ideas you can explore in such a situation are:

• Why do I suffer because a loved one is dead?
• Is it for my loss or is it because I am afraid of death?
• Can I have some sign, some experience, that tells me my loved one is trying to let me know that they are well?
• Can I savor and remember that sign when I am feeling loss?
• Can I recognize and appreciate what it is that I still do have? Perhaps their absence freed up some energy that I can now direct in new ways.
• Can I appreciate that I have plenty of things, people, loved ones, to get by for just this one day, just this one single moment?

And there are many other thoughts that you can use to transform your feeling about it. Keep on reaching for new thoughts until you feel a change. This is exercise for the mind! The more you practice the stronger you will be and the better you will get at it. If you are stuck on some aspect of this please ask for help. You must make friends with a new perspective, you must find a new way to view the pain and suffering such that the pain and suffering disappear. I assure you that it is possible. Then use this new perspective to dig yourself out of an emotional hell hole the next time you find yourself in one.

One perspective that is very helpful is to understand that every person is at a different place in his/her development. It is like some are in kindergarten, others in fourth grade, and others have graduated college with a master’s degree. There is only so much that you can expect from someone who is in the fourth grade. They just don’t understand the consequences of their actions and whether their actions will take them in life where they intend to go. Even though their actions created a temporary moment of pain and suffering in your eternal life, you have the ability to transform it into a learning experience.

I lost a wife to cancer. At that point in my life it was the most loving, the best working, the most evolving along the same path, kind of relationship I had in my life experience. It was a great loss to me. Yet the wonderful adventures that occurred in my life after Kathryn’s death would not have happened if she had lived. Kathryn had taught me much, and being forced to stand on my own forced me to put those learning’s to use. I evolved.

We must remain strong and reinforce those perspectives that bring us a good feeling and let go of those that bring us pain and suffering. If you accomplish this in one part of your life, than you can do it in another. As the days, weeks, months and years roll by more and more of your life experiences will be clarified in this way and your path will be illuminated by your new found awareness.

We are in the process of perfecting ourselves. As we gain control of our minds and become firmly established in right thinking we discover an incredible sense of strength and power. And we discover that all events that occur are showing us just how much we have learned and what is left to learn. Be patient with yourself, you have all of eternity to get this right.

Forgiveness and right thinking is for OUR holistic health. It does free our spiritual, emotional, mental and physical energies for present moment living, loving and manifesting. Harboring ill feelings primarily hurts oneself. So it is definitely worth practicing a new perspective.

Are there any details that need to be clarified? What points are missing?

Love and Blessings,
Michael Skowronski
Author of Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story

image from sxc.hu

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