I received this letter from a friend who told me…
“I am finding it so difficult to move on and let go of a relationship gone wrong.
“I met person this man on the internet who lied and manipulated me for one year. We had the worst abusive arguments in which he used my own childhood abuse against me. He used other women to make me jealous and disappeared on me more times than I can count. Yet he obsessively sought to possess and control me, accuse me of cheating even though I never did.
“I was not innocent either…I was moody, quiet, bored easily with conversation, demanding, and also very argumentative at times. I entered into abusive behavior and insults and often would self destruct by jeopardizing things when they were smooth. I’m not sure if it was because I was so angry inside, depressed, unfulfilled, lonely, desperate, and resentful or just testing his love for me and my trust of him.
“I have seen these are my issues and have been working on them myself. A lot of things seem clearer but many not and still very confused over everything. After one year we did meet and had some very rare and few beautiful moments, but mostly the same old dramas continued. I also found out lot of truth in this time that the man was a virgin at 42 years old; he lived life of recluse, suffered with mental illness, anger, paranoia, OCD and lived a weird unhealthy life with his mother who he claimed to take care of but he slept all day whilst caregivers took care of her.
“It is my fault that things haven’t stopped because I hold on and it’s been two and a half years now, although after the last huge fight and disappearance at Christmas I tried to get on with life, went on self development courses and did lots of research into my behavior and healing work.
“Three months later he returned wanting me back and saying he loved me, admitting much was his fault. Then be began again to go into old behavior of past and blame and starting fights so I wouldn’t go back, but it sent me backwards and I haven’t been able to get back on track since.
“He has left me alone but I contact him still looking for answers, sometimes comfort sometimes hoping he will realize and change but he feels no changes are needed and goes as far to say that I interpret too much, go to deep when talking about ego and behavior and reasons behind it, also says I use it to get myself off hook, which isn’t true of course.
“He tells me what happened in first year is unrelated, that after we met he made great effort and I destroyed it all with my attitude and pressure on him, so he tells me he’s too exhausted to try though loves me and has no will.
“You would think that would be enough to send me on my way but i am filled with anger and resentment at sacrifices I’ve made as well as time wasted, all the hurt and not having sex for 3 years to please and be faithful to him.
“I’ve come to the end of my rope and through research and self development and my own writing I am much stronger in many ways and aware of much, I still feel confused is this my fault? Why did it happen to me?
“Why does he not realize and change? Why does he not love me enough or see me as special enough to fight for me? But more importantly why can’t I just let this go and get over him, sometimes I just feel he isn’t worth it at all and this is just my own ego in turmoil because it was rejected.
“I would really appreciate some insight into this and how to move forward, also if it helps others can be used for blog but just ask you don’t use my name or links as he is on MySpace too and I fear he would do something nasty if he found out I told anyone of this.”
You won’t find answers in other people. Consider how screwed up you feel at times. From what you have written I know you must feel screwed up. Well MOST of humanity is like that. We tend to think other people are doing fine, when in reality most are just barely holding it together. So don’t look for answers about why other people are the way they are. The reasons are many. There are no answers except to say that other people are very fluid, shifting and changing…there is no stability in others.
You must find the answers inside of yourself. You must find this stability inside of yourself. My blogs are specifically written to help people find that stability. Recently I have hardly done any blogging. That is because the blogs I have already written do contain all the answers you need to gain sanity in your life. They also include reading and video recommendations to help keep your mind focused on positive, uplifting, life giving topics.
Start here Self Healing Guide – From Misery to Bliss because that blog recommends which blogs to read and why to read them as well as fills in the gaps for a complete self healing plan.
(I removed much information at this point due to the reasons stated below)
Be sure to read this blog too…Attracting the Right Kind of Lover because it talks about how to read the signs when meeting a new person and first getting involved. All the signs are there right in front of you but you do not know how to read them.
(I removed much information at this point due to the reasons stated below)
I hope I have not sounded harsh or judgmental. That is NOT my intention. It is clear to me, and I am sure it is clear to many of my friends who are reading this, that right now you cannot see what is right in front of you. This is because you don’t have enough experience with good healthy people and don’t know what they look or feel like. It will take some time for you to adjust and see through these things. Continue doing the work on yourself and eventually you will get there.
“I’m grateful for your help, everything made sense of what you said, but I am still very disturbed as I gave everything for first time in my life to someone I hardly knew, I also saw what that woman said [in the comments below] that she loved even before she met him and I was very same. Its very difficult to explain but I saw something in him beneath everything like some deep connection I have never experienced before. Maybe he came to teach me a lesson.”
(There WAS much more to this blog but it has been removed…
see details below)
Click here to read the comments left by those that read the full blog. You will see that MANY people found a lot of help in the content of my blogs. Unfortunately I had to remove the content of most of my blogs for the reason stated further below.You can continue reading my blogs by joining my relationship healing group, the details of which you can find at http://RelationshipAdviceSite.com By joining my healing group you will get…
- The Ultimate Guide to Relationship Healing a four hour Audio Program.
- All of my blogs.
- MANY hours of additional Audio programs.
- Live Tele-Classes given by me where you will have the opportunity to ask your own specific questions.
- Access to my coaching via email just like you have seen in my blogs on MySpace.
Why did I Remove my Blog Content from MySpace & gr8Wisdom.com?
I spent more than a year doing free spiritual and relationship counseling on MySpace. If you review the comments on my blogs (which I have left intact for you to review) you can see that I have spent a great deal of time, covered a lot of topics, AND A LOT OF PEOPLE WERE HELPED BY MY ADVICE. I have really enjoyed it and thank all of you who have participated. Many of my friends have touched my heart very deeply. I love you all!
Unfortunately doing it for free has resulted in me not being able to write new blogs or serve as many people as I would like too. Doing it for free has caused me to maintain a fulltime job with not enough time to coach those people who want and need the help I have to offer. By charging for my services I will eventually be able to quit my job and do my spiritual counseling work full time.
My blogs really do contain all you need to know in order to live a healthy and happy life and the live coaching I offer in the healing group fills in the gaps. Please consider joining this group today. http://RelationshipAdviceSite.com
Love and Blessings,
Author of Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story
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