What do Men Want? If you knew would it solve your relationship problems? Would you feel better?
I promise I will give you relationship advice about what men really want later in this blog…but first I have to ask you…what is really going on with you when you find yourself wondering “What Men Want?”
As a woman, is understanding men the most important thing or could understanding yourself be much more important? If you understand men will that change the way men behave? NO!
Can you change a man? NO!
Can you inspire a man to change? YES, sometimes, some men.
But more important, and this is what too many people overlook (including SOME relationship counselors, marriage counselors, online relationship advice sites, etc…), YOU CAN CHANGE HOW YOU RESPOND (react) to relationship problems, relationship issues, relationship breakups, etc…such that you are happy and enjoy life no matter what.
I am not talking about stuffing the pain. No, stuffing pain leads to illnesses of many forms. When you understand yourself, how life really works, how you create your own reality then you can be happy no matter what is going on in your own life. You have it within you to be peaceful, content, calm, cool, and collected even in the midst of relationship breakup.
How? Well that is what makes my relationship books, live relationship advice and relationship healing group different from the online relationship advice sites you find or many of the other relationship books you will find. (Notice I said different, NOT better! I believe both types of information are good to have and so I do offer both.)
You see most relationship counselors and authors are giving you advice for one specific relationship problem or another. They can even give advice for hundreds of situations. If you read enough of their advice then you might find what you are looking for or piece the puzzle together. However…what if you were given the keys to understanding the core root of all relationship problems? What if you were given the tools to happiness no matter what the circumstances? What if these tools improved all aspects of your life not just relationships?
That concept may be difficult to grasp given the relationship issues you now face…but think of it this way…if you could be happy no matter what, then why does it matter if you are in a relationship or out of one? Happy is happy right? RIGHT?
Okay I realize some people just cannot imagine that life could be happy when they are alone or when other people are doing crazy things, but trust me it is possible and many people have mastered this skill.
But here is the most important part…if you are sane and happy then unhappy and crazy people will naturally move out of your life while sane, loving and happy people will move into your life. This is Law of Attraction which is always at work. When you don’t understand yourself or how life works it is easy to attract the people and events that bring you pain and suffering and when you do understand how Law of Attraction works you attract the people and events you do want.
Consider these two contrasting experiences…
You put your time and effort into learning what a man wants and how to attract a man and keep him without understanding yourself or how it is that you create your reality. Then you do a really good job of attracting a man into your life, a man who turns out to be needy and demanding, or abusive, or has some other quality that brings a great deal of pain into the relationship. You do such a good job of keeping him that he clings to you and manipulates you into hanging on to the relationship for so many years that great suffering is the end result.
OR…
You put your time and effort into learning about yourself and how you create your reality and balance that with also learning what men want and how to attract and keep a man. You spend some time alone, but are peaceful and happy. You attract a perfect match for you; he is kind, loving, caring and treats you right. You stay together only because you both continue to enjoy each other so much. Perhaps it takes a while to find that perfect guy but you enjoy spending time with a few different men until you find Mr. Right. You enjoy your male playmates until it ceases to be enjoyable and then you easily walk away because you can and you are stable and secure in and of yourself.
Which experience is more appealing to you?
I’ve seen far too many women who lived the first experience only to find that their youth had slipped away and in the end life did teach them something very profound about themselves and how life really works. I have also met a few women who have had the second experience. These are lovely, powerful and happy women.
What Men Want
I’ve looked at the relationship advice that other relationship counselors have given…in relationship books and in online relationship advice sites; there is a common theme. They make it sound like all guys want the things I will be listing just a little further below. But that is not really true.
There are a lot of men out there that are sick and mentally screwed up. They are in need of spiritual healing, emotional healing, or a great deal of relationship counseling. These men are simply not suitable relationship material. On one hand it may be true that they also want the things listed below. Yet their conflicting dysfunctional beliefs cause them to want and attract someone to use and abuse and someone to blame for the miserable life they suffer.
No matter how much you try, you are not going to get through their severe dysfunction. However after these sick men spend many years using and abusing you and then lose you, they might be motivated to change too. Perhaps in this way you are doing humanity a great service. But is that what you aspire to?
There are a lot of men out there who have severe dysfunction life skills!
How many years of your life do you wish to waste learning this lesson the hard way?
I hope the answer is ZERO and I hope that you will give my Relationship Healing Group a try for that very reason.
What Men Want in Women
Remember that these are generalities, the top seven qualities that a reasonably healthy and balanced man wants. Some men might reorder this list, take things off of it, or add other things to it.
Talk to your man and find out what he believes is important in a woman. Do it as early as possible in the relationship so he is not influenced by what he already knows about you. If he doesn’t know or won’t talk about it…well those are some warning flags that he might not be a very good communicator or not be paying much attention in his own life.
- Beauty – Each man has his own idea of what physical beauty in a woman is. Even though the outer package may be the first thing that catches a man’s eye, the inner beauty is what will hold his attention for many years. A man wants his woman to add beauty to his life by the way she dresses, by the way she moves through life and social interactions, and by the way she decorates the home.
- Femininity and Nurturing – A man wants to be nurtured and mothered. A man wants to witness his woman nurturing his children or pets or even others in appropriate social circumstances. A man wants to feel the presence of feminine energy in his life.
- Playful and Fun – A man likes to play with his woman, to take time out of the seriousness of life to enjoy living. He likes to hear a woman tell cute stories and see her face light up with love, laughter and delight.
- Sensuality – A man loves a sexy woman! A woman who knows how to touch and who allows him to see and touch her. (Hint: Don’t always make love in the dark!) A man wants a woman who can delight his senses through food, beautiful fragrances, and even texture and colors.
- Youthful Energy – Life can get too serious; it is easy to get caught up in duty and obligations. A man wants a woman who can balance the necessities of life with spontaneity and who can look at the world with awe and enthusiasm as if she were a young girl. This is not about chronological age but about attitude and energy.
- Social Planer – Men like to have women keep their social life alive; to plan and arrange interesting and exciting adventures with friends and family and out in society.
- Stability and Dependability – A man wants a woman who is honest, reliable, and capable. A man wants a woman who can take care of herself and is emotionally stable.
What Men Want in Their Relationship
- Love and Partnership – Yes a man really does want to be loved and a man wants someone he can safely give his love to. A man wants a partner who will work with him in building a life together.
- Peace and Freedom – A man wants to be free to be who he is. He does not want to have to fight or defend who he is in his own home or relationship.
- Stability and Security – A man wants a life he can depend on. In many ways a man loves a good rut! A man wants to feel like his partner is not going to leave him or cheat on him. Financial security is a big part of this too.
- Adventure and Excitement – While it might seem like a contradiction to stability and security, a man does like to take calculated and contained risks.
- Logic and Reason – A man wants things to make logical and rational sense. A man likes to know why you want him to do a certain thing and what you hope to gain from doing it.
- Self Esteem – A man wants to feel good about himself. He wants to be seen as competent, capable and strong. He wants a partner he is proud to present to others.
- Honesty and Fairness – A man wants to do the right thing and wants to do his part to make sure the right thing is done in his life and his world. This is one of the reasons men tend to be disciplinary, and join the police or military or at least admire them.
So what happens if you don’t have one or more of these qualities? How do you develop or improve these qualities in yourself? What happens if you have all of these qualities and the man isn’t treating you like the love of his life or the most precious thing in his life? What happens if he breaks up with you?
After posting this blog I got the following message from a woman…
“But what about what women want and need? We all know this…and it becomes more increasingly clear that we must just bend over and bleach our hair…or become a lying cheating whore…”
“I’m sorry if I’m sounding bitter but I am. I’ve recently met a wonderful man, I could see myself spending the rest of my life with and overnight everything changed…I really believe the internet has been the downfall of us all, who are single. There is always someone better a click away, and they are available, no one seems to have morals anymore. And believe me, after dating as long as I have, and to have almost every guy come back wanting friendship or get back together, I just don’t know anymore. I’m to the point of giving up. I’m so tired. This last one has done me in. I started feeling like a mouse that was being played with by a cat…I just don’t know anymore Michael”
- Joanne
This is where coming to understand life and yourself better becomes important. How is understanding yourself related to why guys do the things they do? Do you have any idea of the numbers of hours I would have to spend trying to explain it all to you?
It is exactly these sorts of questions that I answer in my four hour audio program The Ultimate Guide to Relationship Healing, in the fifty or more blogs that are on my Relationship Healing Group website and in my live tele-classes.
Seriously, if you read this blog and still have that sort of comment to make then you really do need my Relationship Advice Products and Services. My package is one of the least expensive ways available to you to listen to and read the best wisdom available on these topics and to then be able to get your lingering questions answered.
Also I reveal how I came to understand this aspect of life and grew to be aware of my own inner resources and gain healthy self esteem in my entertaining book Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story.
So please submit your email address in the form on the right or better yet…Click Here to join the Relationship Healing Group NOW!
Kind and Loving Regards,
Michael Skowronski
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