Unforgettable Love Story

Both crime and punishment are insane. To believe that you will get what you want by taking it from another, to believe that doing harm to another will serve you in some way, both are insane ideas. Anyone who is observing life clearly understands the insanity behind either approach to life. One popular definition of insanity states that to continue doing the same thing and expecting different results is insane. And it is. There is a feeling of frustration that goes along with insanity, which often causes anger and violence, or at least the thoughts to commit violent acts. Insanity is a lack of understanding of how life works, which plays out in the actions of the insane person. An insane person thinks or does certain things which give them results they do not want.

Consider the idea of punishing someone as our society does, locking them up in jail or prison for a long period of time. This is inhumane, this is torture, and in most cases patently unfair. The punishment is usually far more severe than the criminal act. The reason the severity seems necessary, is because punishment is such a poor way to get someone to change their behaviors, that we must go to great extremes for it to have any effect at all.

Punishment does harm to the individual who is already insane. If they committed a true crime, they are by definition insane. How will torturing someone like this alleviate their insanity? How do we expect their behavior to improve once released? What new lessons will that person have learned? In prison as they currently are, they will have become more skilled criminals. Locked up with others whose life skills consist of harming others, what else is there to learn? By being abused and neglected by those who watch over the prisoners what life lessons are learned?

And we can see the results if we open our eyes and observe. Most criminals go right out and commit another crime in order to be locked up once again. Do you know the reason? Not because they are looking for a free ride…a place to sleep and food, but because they feel safer and less judged amongst those of their own kind as opposed to the angry judgmental society that would do such a horrific thing to them in the first place.

Certainly there are those who are just broken by the experience, and those who leave prison and never commit another crime. Yet are they productive members of society, or just too frightened to fully participate anymore? I am confident that if we observe the results of our “justice” system we will find that in most cases (probably higher than 90%) it is failing miserably. And that is pure insanity. It says that as a society WE ARE INSANE!

Is there another way to protect the lives and properties of the people of our society? Most definitely there is, and the time has come for us to develop this system. Our goal should be to ensure the safety and well being of all people, even the insane criminals. Our goal should be to ensure that every citizen of society understands the proper use of their thoughts and actions in gaining the life experiences and objects that they desire. The actions we take to accomplish our goals should bear fruit. Our actions should deliver what it is we are seeking or we should adapt and evolve until we do accomplish our goals.

A Possible Solution

First we must do away with the idea of punishment. This is a must. There are all sorts of problems with punishment, the greatest being that it leads to dishonesty. And without truth, what can be accomplished? Without truth, we are dead in the water. We have nowhere to go when truth is absent. When there is no fear of punishment the truth should be much easier to discover. Why lie when you don’t have to?

Those who insist on punishment should fall into the same category as the perpetrator of the “crime”, insane, and as such both parties require treatment for their mental illness.

Developing new habits in the person who commits a crime should be our primary goal. ALL people operate out of habit most of the time. Rarely do people consciously choose their actions, and those that do are usually in the category of enlightened beings rather than criminals. You could argue that when a person steals an object, or does harm to another person, that they have consciously chosen to do that. But then I would argue that you really don’t understand people and life very well and thus you are not fit to be in a place of trying to solve this problem. Even those actions of theft and harm come from prior training. Habits of thinking like, “I can get what I want by stealing it, I can force that person to do my bidding by harming them or threatening them with harm,” are the real cause of their actions.

So we need to retrain people. Now it would be much easier, much more economically efficient, and much more humane if we actually offered this training from the get go. We should be doing a better job of training our children so that they don’t grow up to be criminals. We all know how horrible grade school and even high school years can be, with all of the bulling that goes on. This is the start of crime and it should be nipped in the bud.

But we still have to deal with an existing, predominantly insane society. And to do this we will need to provide retraining for a lot of adults with pre-existing insane ideas about life. People have to want to change in order to change. In the beginning we may need to keep the ultimate threat of punishment alive. The criminal would be given a choice, to participate in retraining, or have their freedoms severely restricted. They would be locked up in a reasonably comfortable prison cell, better than our current systems, and given good healthy food and good medical care. The only radio, TV, or reading material they would be allowed would contain positive, life affirming messages that in some way gave them a life skill that would improve their mental condition. Movies that promote violence and vengeance like, “The Terminator” and “Die Hard” would be strictly forbidden.

The retraining option should treat offenders with as much respect and dignity as possible. They should work one on one with guidance counselors to establish new skills and habits. Those criminals who have been successfully retrained would be prime candidates to assist newly discovered criminals in their retraining. Look at the good works that programs like Alcoholics Anonymous does. Reformed alcoholics, those with a real understanding of both sides of the problem, are helping those who are still struggling with their problem to transform.

Certainly there are more details that need to be fleshed out. But if we try we can do this. There is enough awareness in the world, there are enough people with love and compassion and an enlightened understanding of Life to solve this problem. The biggest problem we face is that the majority of people on the planet still don’t understand Life and are not paying attention, and not observing what is working and what is not. They are organized, they are active, and they are insanely working to perpetuate the problem. Those of us with awareness must become organized and must set about to solve this problem as well as all of the other problems that plague our world today.

How can we do that? Right now we have no system for problem solving. We need one. I have made a proposal for a system that will work in my blog titled International World Government. It contains something I call a World Solutions Database and a computerized system to facilitate working out these solutions with people who are intelligent and offering ideas that will work. (We need to work these issues out for all of the world, not just America.) I suggest you read that blog too. I fully intend to develop that system once I have the financial resources to do so…unless someone beats me to it…and that is fine with me since I already have a great deal of work on my plate.

We don’t need government approval to begin. We can solve some of the world’s problems in spite of the idiots who are currently running the world. And when we do our successes will speak for themselves and attract others to join us.

Love and Blessings,
Michael Skowronski
Author of Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story
Also on Amazon.com and BarnesAndNoble.com…including awesome book reviews!

Popularity: 9% [?]

Where are you going in your life? Are you seeking heaven or hell?

If you are seeking hell, then judgment such as the title of this article will take you there quicker than the actions of those in the title. Wait now, don’t close off and run away…even if you differ in opinion, and you have a right to, for your sake read this full article and take it all in. Then experiment in your own life with these ideas and in time you will discover the truth. Are you willing to discover truth and move beyond belief?

If you are seeking heaven, if you are seeking a peaceful life, if you want to make this planet a safe place for our children to grow up in and play, then this article will show you how to create that in a very practical way.

First let’s get this point straight…Judgment, Hatred and Anger will take you to hell faster than anything I know of. Believe me I speak from personal experience. I have been working through these issues for many years now. I have made great progress and most people that really know me consider me quite advanced in how I handle difficult situations when compared to the majority of people in the world. But that is not good enough for me. I want perfection in my personality. I want never to respond or react in judgment, never in anger, and never in hatred. And I believe that is attainable based upon the progress I have already made and the shining examples set forth by other masters I have studied.

God gives us what we ask for. And for the last year I have been asking to heal this issue in me totally. And God has been answering my prayers in spades! In the last year events that triggered such strong negative emotion within me have been occurring ever more frequently, thus giving me the chance to work through my issues. Things like being setup by six people at Microsoft to be fired from my job, because they were jealous of me as published author. The games began after I advertised at work and having read at least some of my book they knew it would be successful. Another example is a housemate who was jealous of my relationship with my wife Shyni. She put dishwashing soap in our food when Shyni left the room, hoping I would fight with Shyni over the horrible meal. A different jealous housemate tormented us for weeks and tried to get us evicted from a home we had been renting a room in for six months. She had been there only two months, eventually after only a verbal confrontation from me, she called the police and claimed that I assaulted her (I certainly did not) and got me thrown into jail, twice…for a total of six days and four nights. And the list goes on.

Okay, so don’t worry. This is not the path I suggest you take. My goals are probably different from yours. Most people would simply like to have a life of peace, comfort, abundance and love. That is pretty simple to acquire and does not require such stringent work on self. My goal is Samadhi, divine and complete union with God, while still in the physical body. My goal is conscious control and ability to enter this state at will. Perhaps you think I am dreaming, but I have had a taste and I want more. Thus I am not afraid to face the darkness that still lives inside of me. I am in the process of reprogramming myself and I know that God will not give me anything that I cannot handle. To learn how to reprogram yourself click here …don’t be afraid to reprogram youself, you get to choose your own goals!

Getting back to the main point of this article…Judgment, Hatred and Anger will take you to hell faster than anything I know of. Believe me I speak from personal experience. During these extra difficult situations I found it difficult to keep my mind clear and loving. Judgment, Hatred and Anger all slipped in and took me for a ride. I lost control of my mind. Usually I am very much in control. Normally I let my feelings, especially negative emotions, alert me to the fact that I am thinking incorrectly. I stop my thoughts and deliberately go through my memories for more pleasant experiences to bask in until I feel good again. I do this all of the time and it works wonders! Peace returns and I have power and abilities beyond ordinary men…not a joke, I am totally serious.

But somehow, these extra difficult circumstances caused me to feel justified in my Judgment, Hatred and Anger. During these traumatic events I found it extremely difficult to change my focus. While sitting in jail I kept imagining myself beating that woman so badly that she would remember it for life. While in jail I had spoken to my wife, who was still in the house with that woman, and Shyni was being harassed without mercy, without me there to protect her. And it was not just the one housemate at this point; she had turned everyone else in the house against us too. So my mind was going crazy. Justifiable or not, my thoughts still ruined my experience of life while I contemplated them. They still pumped harmful chemicals into my bloodstream thus reducing my physical vitality and making me more prone to long term illnesses. I could feel it. I had not felt so horrible in years. Normally I am in a state of deep love, deep appreciation. Normally I am happy, peaceful, kind, and helpful. So the contrast was dramatic. A very clear lesson to me, and one I eventually worked through with much effort.

Our Judgments, Hatred and Anger have no benefit to us whatsoever. They will not benefit anyone in this world. They will only poison us, they will poison others. We will set a bad example for our children and those who look up to us. How many people lie in hospital beds right now suffering from cancer? It has reached epidemic proportions. I know people, I know them very well; most people hang out in Judgment, Hatred, and Anger way too often, way too long. Too much of the hormone cortisol is secreted into our blood stream at stressful times like this…cortisol has been linked to cancer and to Alzheimer’s disease. Do you want those diseases? Do you want to teach your children how to contract those diseases?

By contrast…our Love will heal everything that needs healing. Our compassion will help us see clearly what really can work to heal ourselves and our planet. Our acceptance of the trials and difficulties we co-create with God, through our own past erroneous programming and present negative thinking, will cleanse us of our sins, our negative karma will be washed away, our point of attraction will change such that we receive love and support and kindness from others. This too I have MUCH experience with. Please read my book and you find overwhelming evidence to this effect.

So if you feel justified in your Judgment, Hatred and Anger, please reflect back on what I am teaching you. We must all learn from our own experiences, this I understand. Go into judgment full force, get angry, hate…and feel how it feels. Do you like it? Do you attract beautiful things and events into your life when you are in Judgment? OBSERVE. And then Reprogram Yourself.

Even the Drug Addicts, even the Prostitutes, even the Child Molesters, even the liars and the cheaters, need the space to experience and understand life… And we must allow them to learn from their experience. We must help them, not hurt them. We must clear the logs out of our own eyes before we attempt to remove the splinters from theirs. We must own the pain in our own lives, the pain does not come from others; the pain comes from where and how we focus our minds. Keeping this lesson in mind may just rescue you from your next painful situation much faster. I hope it does. That is the reason I am sharing such personal information.

We are All One Being. I love myself. And I love You. Please be well.

Love and Blessings,
Michael Skowronski
Author of Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story

Popularity: 8% [?]

No matter how you slice it, relationship breakups are difficult to cope with. For those whose relationships are suffering from problems you may find this relationship advice challenging to say the least, especially if you are/were in a committed love relationship. But stay open and read it all so that you don’t take something I write out of context. Believe me I have had plenty of experiences with relationship problems and breakups, and plenty of experience with finding peace and happiness in the midst of it. If I can do it, so can you!

One of the first things that a person needs to consider is the question, “What am I expecting from my relationships?” I know for me, when I was younger and less mature, I expected love, support, and on a deeper unconscious level…validation! But the problem with those expectations is that no one else can really give you those things.

I can hear some of my readers minds now, “What? No one can give me love? No one can give me support? You must be joking! And just for the record, I don’t need any validation. My self-esteem is just fine thank you!” Okay, so that is what I used to think and I am certain there are many others who still do too.

Of course someone else can give you love, but are you open to receive it? If you are not receiving it then what use is their giving it to you? If you are in the midst of judging another person, or even yourself, are you open to receive their love or any love for that matter? NO! If you are critical of Life and what it has been delivering to you are you open to receive love? NO! If you are worrying about how to pay the bills, or what kind of drugs your kid is smoking or what they are doing when you are not around, are you open to receiving love? NO!

As for support from others…they can give it, but you can just as easily squander it. It can even become a setback. What happens when you depend on someone and their support and then they leave? It could be divorce, it could be death, it could be work, it could be drugs or alcohol, there are many ways in which someone can leave you and take their support with them. Then where are you? Helpless and frightened and once again in judgment of Life and other people.

But the biggest problem is self-esteem. Most people don’t have it! Most people are seeking validation from outside of themselves. Low self-esteem shows up in two forms. The most obvious is when you just don’t like yourself, when your thoughts, words and actions make you feel in some way unworthy and unlovable.

There is another side to low self-esteem and that is ARROGANCE! Oh I have a great deal of experience with that side of low self-esteem. Arrogance is how I used to cope with my low self-esteem and it is insidious because it makes you feel like you are so good that you are better than others. It often comes out in words and actions. The arrogant person has to be the one to be heard; they can talk on and on and often don’t let others participate. Or they are always contradicting the ideas of others instead of finding the places that they can agree. The arrogant person is often putting other people down. But always, at the bottom of arrogance is low self-esteem. (There is a pretty cool story in my book on how I overcame my arrogance. If you need help with that issue, this book will be powerful for you!)

Relationship breakups give us the chance to face these issues in ourselves and to heal them. We get to become stronger people as a result. How would you like to be the kind of person who is never lonely, especially when you are alone? How would you like to be the kind of person who has an inner strength capable of facing any challenge that Life has to offer, especially when everyone is ignoring your requests for help? How would you like to be the kind of person who knows without a shadow of a doubt that you are thinking, speaking and acting in the right way, in a loving way, in a way that is of benefit to all people whose lives you touch, even when others are judging and criticizing you or telling vicious rumors about you? And how would you like to be happy anytime you want no matter what is going on in the outer world?

When you have to face life on your own you have the greatest possibility of growing into these life skills. When you face life on your own it is much easier to see what your creations are and what are the creations of others. It becomes much easier to understand the relationship between your thoughts and your feelings, because no one else is there to create in your experience. There is no one to blame, except yourself…of course you should not be blaming yourself either, but accepting that you have created your own reality.

I went through a pretty rough experience around a relationship break up when I was 44 years old. I had been divorced twice, had a wife die on me (story is in my book Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story), and then had my next fiancé dump me too. I felt like my life was over. I felt like all I could count on was women leaving me. I felt like my youth was slipping away and I was never going to have that long lasting really great relationship that I needed to have that would prove that I was an okay person, and that I was worthy of love. I cried a lot. I was facing financial struggles too. I was living in Australia and they were asking me to leave because I no longer had a sponsoring job. I had other friends who were judging me and my actions too.

In the midst of all that pain and suffering I went through I kept a watch on my feelings and my thoughts. I was listening to a lot of Abraham CDs about the “Law of Attraction” and the “Science of Deliberate Creation”. I got a new CD every week, and I listened to many of them more than once. It was during those times when I had my first experiences of Self-Realization. Intellectually I had learned that I was God, but those experiences were different…I remembered that I was God…it was just like I remembered where my bed was, or what my name was. I KNEW! And those experience changed me forever. I finally had the self-esteem that was previously based on other people’s opinions of me. And I finally knew without a shadow of a doubt that whatever I did or thought about another, I was doing to myself. I still had habits of thought and action to overcome, but now I would not let anything or anyone deter me from making the necessary changes in my own programming. And I also know there will never be another lifetime, or a time in this lifetime, where I will not have this inner strength and awareness. These gifts are mine forever more!

And for the first time in my life I loved being alone, so much so that when I finally did find a wonderful woman to marry, my dear wife Shyni, I was actually disappointed to lose my alone time! At first I felt like I got married out of habit, because for so many years I was looking for it and had not stop to reconsider my priorities carefully enough. Now I was reaching for the ability to go into the state of Samadhi at will and the distractions of other people and their needs was getting in the way. Union with God is addicting, it is the most beautiful thing I have ever experienced.

I have come to accept my choice to be in a relationship. I know I have work to do in continuing to reprogram myself and the challenges that come up when living with others is giving me the chance to do just that. So it really is perfect for me at this time, just as perfect as it was for me to lose the other relationships I had earlier in my life. Without those relationships breakups, I would not have Shyni in my life. In very many ways she is more perfect for me than any other woman has been, by a factor of ten. This is honestly the best and most amazing relationship I could ever imagine having.

No matter what challenges you face in your life, they are perfect and you have created them through the “Law of Attraction”, this includes your relationship breakups. Walk through your fire and come out the other side. Many people consider suicide when relationships breakup. Suicide is like walking most of the way through the fire, and then turning around and walking back to the other side. You suffer so much more as a result.

Suicide will not take you were you believe you will be going, to a place of peace. Suicide is trying to escape from yourself, and you just cannot do it. Wherever you go, there you are. In the afterlife, you will not be in the heaven you think you will be in; you will still be enmeshed in your life’s troubles, because the afterlife is still life. It is just life in another dimension. And you will not have the ability to change your programming there. You will be stuck with it, playing out your dramas over and over until your next physical life begins. And in your next physical life you will set up the same dramas so that you can finally face the issues and move through them. So in reality you will have to walk through that fire all over again, face the same pain all over again, and finish the walk to the other side. Don’t do it!

You can find so much strength inside of you that it will be you that other people come to for strength and support. You can find so much strength inside of you that no matter if the entire world seems to hate you, you can still love yourself and them so deeply that you only feel love. You can become so enlightened, so wise, and so powerful that you are actually a clear conduit that God’s love can flow through and heal others wherever you go. And if you become such a person, you will be overwhelmed at times by the difference you really do make in the world.

Relationship breakups are not the end, but the beginning of the next chapter your life. Get excited and know that you are in for something far better than you ever dreamed possible and your relationship breakup will be exactly that!

Love and Blessings,
Michael Skowronski
Author of Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story

Popularity: 6% [?]

This blog is a response to a friend’s request for help. She has given permission to use her question and my answer in this blog. Here is her question…

“For the past many months my life has being going downhill. I have been trying to save money for a house, but it is not working. I have left two jobs in the past four months; I have even tried to work from home, but still no luck. For past seven years I have been a single parent, left on my own with eight kids. My saving are going down not up! I just turned 46 recently and all of a sudden I had this burning desire for a man to come into my life, to comfort me, and to lift my burden of having to always be on my own. I would like to try and achieve something with someone special in my life, and for it not always to be me working hard and not getting very far. But Michael I am still waiting. I feel so lost and I don’t know what to do, or if I will ever find someone that will be true to me and my kids.”

Here is my answer to my friend and all of you who suffer from similar problems…

I have compassion for you. I understand how it can feel like there is no way out. But there is a way out, and it is all contained in your own mind and thought processes. First I want to echo back what you said with some comments, and then I will get down to suggesting a path of recovery.

“My life has being going downhill.” I expect that is how you think and feel about your life and yet it is NOT the true facts about it. Your life is what you have created, what you have hoped for, asked for, dreamed for, and worried for…yes worried. Our worrisome thoughts are just as creative as our conscious deliberate thoughts, even more so since they run on automatic pilot and often go on and on for hours on end, day after day…and the conscious ones are held for only a few moments at a time, and probably days go by before you remember to dream a creative dream. So you have created this and likewise you can create something else.

“Eight Kids…” Wow you did set yourself up for a challenge! How much help are the kids? How much trouble? With the right resources and training you have yourself a small company! How many of them are up for the challenge of creating an internet business? Or some other sort of business? Just an idea.

“If I will ever find someone that will be true to me and my kids…” That too can be a challenge, most men would run screaming from such a situation…or enjoy you for as long as they can and then leave once it starts getting difficult or serious…but still it is not impossible to attract a man who will help…but having a man to help is not the only way to cope with this situation. So don’t be attached to that idea.

“My saving are going down not up!” That would be a scary picture to look at for almost anyone. You need something positive to be looking at when it comes to finances and this is not it.

“I turned 46 recently.” I hope that does not mean that you believe it is all downhill from here, or “what can possibly be left in my life if I still don’t have a solid relationship?” It is easy to think that way, but that is one of the kinds of thoughts you must catch and stop.

“A man to come into my life, to comfort me,” no one else can truly comfort you. You must learn to comfort yourself. Indeed someone can comfort you for a moment, but it won’t be long before their comfort will cease to sooth you and your worried mind will take over and ruin your life experience once again. They too will become a burden and cease being a comfort.

“And to lift my burden of having to always be on my own.” Someone else cannot lift your burden. Your burden is your worry and your attachment to your desire for something you do not have, not your life circumstances. There is nothing wrong with desire, but
attachment to the where and when and how it will show up will definitely cause you to suffer. Hold desire without attachment.

“And achieve something with someone special in my life.” Having a partner can be nice, or it can be hell…but you want a partner that has strength and courage and honesty and integrity and ability…is that right? Be sure you are clear about what kind of partner you want, and NOT someone who has just been released from jail or who prefers to hang out at the local pub with his mates. If you are clear you won’t waste your time with the wrong sort of bloke and you will know when the right one comes along. If all you want is a little sex and play and touch for a few hours, nothing wrong with that by the way, then be clear about that when it happens and make sure he does not hang around like a lost puppy.

“And for it not always to be me working hard and not getting very far.” When the work is hard, it is because you are swimming upstream. When you stop doing that then it will stop being hard work. You must learn to go with the flow. It may seem like the flow is not taking you where you want, but that is impossible…the flow is always going where you want, it is your vision that is limited. You have not yet learned how to trust Life so you go against it.

“I am still waiting.” Stop waiting and make yourself happy now. Never wait, make yourself happy in each moment. Then with each passing day count the blessings you do have, and the desires that have become manifest. That is much more fun.

“I feel so lost and I don’t know what to do.” Your thoughts are attacking you. You believe something has gone horribly wrong in your life. Make yourself happy. That is what you need to do!

Okay so I have picked apart the things you have written. I hope I did not offend you, that was not my intention. You need to learn how to do this very same thing for yourself. First write out your problem, then go back and read your own words, your own thoughts, and find out what is wrong with them, but more importantly challenge them with thoughts that feel much better.

There are two approaches you can take…1) going after financial resources and a man to help…or 2) going after happiness. If you take approach 1 you will be waiting a long time to be happy. But if you take approach 2 YOU CAN BE HAPPY ANYTIME YOU WANT TO BE HAPPY! And you can still attract the financial resources and a man at the same time. So I suggest approach 2.

To be continued…

Love and Blessings,

Michael Skowronski

Author of Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story

Popularity: 5% [?]

This is the second part of The Kidnapping and The Wedding story

A few hours later Shyni’s brother Shyam and his friend Chellopan were walking into Kumily town. Mohammad came upon them in an auto-rickshaw, stopped them and told them to get in. They refused but said they would walk to the Sandhya’s home-stay. Once Shyam and Chellopan arrived they were asked to go upstairs to a vacant room for a talk. They were told guests were coming and they did not want to be disturbed. Reluctantly Shyam and Chellopan agreed, so they could keep these marriage matters private.

Once upstairs and inside of the room it was locked and Mohammad and Sandhya interrogated them for four hours. Of course Shyam and Chellopan objected, but Mohammad was a large man and they were both afraid of him. The questions were more about the marriage than the motorbike. Mohammad asked insulting things like, “Are you a salesman selling your sister?”

Shyam’s reply was, “They have already married, so there is nothing you can do about it.”

Then Sandhya told Shyam, “Your sister has used this very room to have sex with many men.” But when Shyam inquired about when this had occurred, the dates he was given was the same time that Shyni had been working in Delhi. Interestingly enough there were a couple of times where Mohammad sat next to Sandhya and instinctively placed his hand on her lap, and then realized what he was doing and removed it. They seemed to display an intimacy that should not have been there, especially in India. Shyam felt quite convinced that they were having an affair.

Mohammad twisted Shyam’s wrist behind his back and tried to make him tell more, but Shyam refused. Mohammad also picked up a chair and threatened to beat Shyam, but never followed through. Shyam was in tears a few times, but he gave out very little information.

Shyni told me nothing of this incident until at two years later. Actually it was abduction rather than a kidnapping since they never asked for a ransom. But kidnapping was the term Shyni used when she finally told me about it more than a year later so I have always referred to it that way. Both Shyam and Chellopan were released without any real physical harm being done to them. But their pride was hurt and they were scared. Shyam went to stay with friends in Kottayam for a few days until he got over it.

Continue Reading - The Couple Reunite

Popularity: 4% [?]

This is another part of the Marriage Made in Heaven story (Part I and Part II)

It was at the age of fifteen that Shyni decided she would marry a foreigner, or a white man as they refer to us in India. For years she had been telling her friends and family that she would do this. Shyni had a strong and independent great grandmother who was a very big influence upon her. This great matriarch taught Shyni how to think for herself and to see through the illusions that most people live under, which is one of the reasons Shyni is so compatible with me. Shyni did not like the way Indian men treated their wives and did not want to grow up to become a slave to her husband. She wanted someone who would see her for who she really was and would treat her with love and respect. She saw the odds of that happening with an Indian man to be quite slim.

Shyni’s father, Master Thomas, was a great musician and well known all over India for his talent. He had many students from all over the world coming to learn to play tabla and purchase a tabla made by the hands of this master craftsman. Master Thomas also taught twenty one other instruments, vocals, and dance. He won many awards for his work. So there was plenty of white folk hanging around the family home.

At the age of thirty, Shyni was already in danger of becoming an old spinster in her culture. Master Thomas had been looking for a husband for Shyni since she was eighteen years old. But he was trying to hook her up with an Indian man. A few of his European students offered to marry her; one of them was a handsome young movie director from London England. Even though Master Thomas wanted Shyni to marry an Indian man, he allowed Shyni to decide, and she declined them all. They did not feel like the right suitor for her. Master Thomas died shortly before Shyni’s twenty fifth birthday without finding her a husband.

Seven months before I met Shyni, when she was nearly thirty years old, a man from Vienna Austria proposed to her. He had known Shyni since she was fifteen and had been a student of Master Thomas. Shyni accepted and the next day they both went their separate ways, he back to Vienna and Shyni back to her job as a nurse in Delhi. Three months later he returned to Kumily to marry Shyni. He called her in Delhi and told her to quit her job and come to be married. Shyni did just that. But the years had corrupted what had once been a nice young man. He was sexually active with other Indian women and into drugs. He began insulting certain family members and after nine days Shyni called off the marriage. They never even touched each other, not once in the fourteen years that they knew each other. Shyni remained a virgin.

Just a few weeks before I met Shyni she became disillusioned with her life thinking that God had forgotten about her and attempted suicide. She grieved her father’s death, and her great grandmother who died at the age of 100, only months after Master Thomas, they were the only adult family members that understood Shyni and that only ones she could trust. She loved and missed them dearly. Shyni took an overdose of prescription medicine, about five times the dosage that should have killed her, and being a nurse she knew what a lethal dosage was. She awoke three days later very angry at God and asking, “Why did you send me back?” She was very upset. Her nine year old nephew Eju was the only family member to stick by her the entire time she was out cold. The adults left her to live or die, depending on the will of God.

Ten days later I came along. I knew nothing of her attempted suicide when I agreed to marry her.

Shyni’s sister and her husband Gopal came to Shyni’s home late that evening of the day I asked Shyni to marry me. I was back at my room busy writing my book. The next day I went to their house and met Jessie and Gopal. I sat down with the family to formally ask for Shyni’s hand in marriage. For about thirty minutes they asked me many questions; with Shyni interpreting I answered. Their talk sounded a bit harsh, there were times I was worried that there was a problem, but Shyni told me what they said, and I believed they were happy with the marriage. But in reality there were objections, worries and fears. Would I use her and then leave her behind? Would I humiliate the family? Her brother was concerned, her sister was supportive. Others were on the fence. I did not know this, and I am glad that I did not.

This was just like something out of a movie…no, even better…because it was happening to me. I marveled at how everything in my life, my previous experiences, up to this point made me ready, willing, and able to fully take this experience in and go with the flow of it. Even a few years earlier I would not have been up for this. Because I was on such a mission to fully understand Life I thought this was a great opportunity to immerse myself in such a different culture.

Yet there was one thing missing for me at this point, something that made me a bit uncomfortable.

These days I can tell when a woman is sexually interested in me. I even felt that kind of interest coming from the second woman I met. But I did not feel it with any of the others, and certainly NOT with Shyni. I did not feel any sort of intimate connection or chemistry with Shyni. Nor had I witnessed her express any sort of affection with any of her family members at this point.

I took some inner counseling about this. First I decided that this was too big of an event in my life for God to let me proceed if it was wrong for me. I knew something would come up to stop this wedding if Shyni was not right for me. This was not blind faith however; this was faith due to all of the amazing events that I have experienced in my life that has confirmed that God is watching over and protecting me…read my book for an overwhelming taste of those grand experiences.

The next thing I told myself was that Shyni wants intimacy and touch just like everyone else does. She has already told me how important it is for her to find the right husband and that it be for life. I could not believe that she would choose to go through her life with a man that she could not be intimate with. I figured that she was just used to holding that sort of energy back and that it would come out once we were married, when it was appropriate for her to do so. And finally I knew that I had the ability to bring the absolute best out of a person. Since Shyni was willing to work at making this relationship good, I knew I could teach her how to be a good lover if she had any difficulties at the start.

I also explained my concerns about intimacy with Shyni. I told her, “Physical intimacy is very important to me. I am not like an Indian man; I am not looking for a servant. Intimacy is the biggest reason
that I want a wife. Being my lover must come naturally and should not done out of duty and obligation.” Shyni’s response was simple, “You don’t have to worry, I understand.” She was too shy to say anything more about this issue. I finished that conversation by telling her, “I take my commitment to marry very seriously and will do everything I can to ensure we have a happy marriage. But I will not stay in a marriage that has no intimacy; I will not stay in a marriage that is unhappy. Please make sure you considered this before we proceed.”

By the end of the third day, although I had not touched her, I had gotten physically close enough to Shyni to feel the warmth of her intimate energy bodies. They did not close off when I came close. She felt very receptive. This helped to ease my worries.

Over the next few days I spent most of my time at her family home. Her sister, brother-in-law and their children stayed there for six days. With each day came more and more confirmation that I had made a good decision; especially when I saw how affectionate she was with her niece and nephew.

Although they had little money or income, they owned a nice home in a great spot right next to a grassy field which borders the wild animal preserve. Wild monkeys stop by frequently and I had an encounter with wild elephants while walking only half a kilometer from her house.

Shyni’s brother Shyam was twenty three at the time. He followed in his father’s footsteps, making tablas, teaching music, and singing his heart out. Shyam is also a world class musician; he gave his first public performance at the age of three. In the midst of the family making this decision, Shyam got a phone call inviting him and his group to give a live performance at a music college. We all interpreted this as a good omen, as God’s blessing, on our decision. This was a very high honor for Shyam because of the quality of this school and because he was the only outside performer that was invited.

When they suggested that I go along to the concert with him I was resistant due to the great traveling distance and a loss of two days time from writing my book. Intuitively I knew this would be a good experience to help bind me with Shyni’s family. My intuition turned out correct because Shyam was still a bit leery of me and he had the power to stop this marriage from happening. After that Shyam liked me and considered me a down to earth regular person, so I am glad that I went. I had trouble communicating with Shyam and his fellow musicians because they spoke very little English and I spoke no Malayalam at the time. (I am still learning; it is the second most difficult language on the planet.) I had to use all of the patience I could muster up and quiet my frustrations when things did not go as I expected, which was often. It was quite an adventure and learning experience for me.

On February 28th 2005, one week after meeting Shyni, we went to Peermade, a city that was an hour away for our “first” marriage. It was done in a law office which begun the legal process for marrying a foreigner. This consisted of signing a legal document that contained wedding vows and filling paperwork with the government. They contacted my country, the USA, to make sure I am not already married. It takes forty days for this to complete.

However there were complications…when we got there the attorney who was handling the paperwork did not have the required “stamp paper” to write the official documents on. I had driven to Peermade alone on the motor cycle that I had rented from Mohammad. It was a beautiful drive through the Western Ghats Mountain Range that I enjoyed thoroughly. The rest of the family came by bus, the common form of transportation for the majority of the people of India. There was no stamp paper to be found in this small legal town we were in, don’t ask me why, that’s just how Indians do business. So I was elected to take Gopal, Shyni’s sister’s husband, and drive to another town to find it. After a few hours of searching we came back empty handed.

Meanwhile the family had made a few phone calls and located stamp paper in another town but I was too tired of driving to make yet another one hour round trip drive. My contract with Mohammad, who I rented the motor bike from, prohibited me from letting anyone else use the bike. So it was with great reluctance that I gave the motor bike to Gopal and the attorney to go and retrieve the stamp paper.

About forty minutes later we get a phone call from Gopal, they had an accident. They were both hurt and the bike badly damaged. A jeep was sent to recover them and brought them back to the hospital in Peermade. Poor Shyni, she was so afraid that this would jinks the marriage. She was afraid that I would back out. I did everything I could to reassure her that I was not going to back out over this problem. But her fears would not go away. As I probed deeper, I found that she had greater worries. Shyni was deathly afraid of Mohammad and what he would do when he discovered that his bike was damaged. I did my best to soothe her worries; I told her that I would buy the bike from him if it came down to that. It seemed to help a little, but all of the family was on the worry train of thought so they were influencing her too.

The attorney required a cast for his broken leg, Gopal required stitches for the gash above his eye, but they would live. After the medical dramas were dealt with, we still had time to do the legal work. A funny thing happened when it came time for me to sign the legal papers…I got hot feet. Not cold feet, but hot feet, unusually hot feet. I figured it reflected just how much I wanted this marriage to take place.

Because of the drama with the bike and Gopal’s injuries, Shyni decided to go home with her sister and Gopal to help Gopal get further medical treatment. Gopal’s brother, who worked at a bike repair shop in the big city of Kottayam, came to get the bike and repair it.

Before Shyni put me on the bus to returned to my home-stay in Kumily she warned me not to tell Mohammad about the wedding and the bike. I objected saying, “What am I going to tell him about the bike? He will see that I don’t have it. He will ask questions. I can’t lie to him.”

Shyni was very worried. She told me, “You can’t tell Mohammad anything. He will stop our marriage if he finds out.”

My response was, “A corrupt person like that does not have the power to stop our marriage. We have much more power than he does. We already have the first part done. So what can he do?”

Shyni ended by saying, “You don’t know him like I do. You have no idea what he will do. He will make trouble, you can be sure of that.”

I got on the bus and headed “home”, I was not sure what to think. But I was certain I was not going to let this boy interfere with my life.

Stay tuned for – The Kidnapping and The Wedding!

But First Continue Reading - The Elephants of India

Love and Blessings,
Michael Skowronski
Author of Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story

Popularity: 6% [?]

Selfishness is underrated, in fact we should all be taught to be selfish rather than selfless! Our society has it all backwards with their rules of how we should all behave.

If you want to have anything of value to offer to anyone you must first take care of yourself. How do you feel when someone does something for you out of duty and obligation? For me, more often than not I wish they would not have bothered. Often what they do is just plain annoying or even worse, we have to undo what they did and redo it ourselves.

The feeling that goes with the intention of “I must do this because it is expected of me” is horrible. The more open and aware you become the more you feel… when you start to feel things on a deeper level you also let go of your desire to tolerate the pain. This is a good thing.

It is like we have all been trained to keep our hand on a hot stove. If you keep it there long enough you will develop very hard tough skin and loose all sense of feeling. This is how we are taught to approach life. It will burn you so you better toughen up so that you can take it.

How ignorant is that! Our feelings are telling us to remove our hand from the stove. It is a normal and positive reaction to pain. Soft, pliable and sensitive hands are much more affective and attractive, don’t you agree?

And so it is with our lives. Our negative feelings are meant to tell us there is danger here; we are going to get burnt, back away. But back away from what? Back away from what we are thinking about, back away from where we are focusing our attention, back away from the situation we are in. Well where do we go with our thoughts and focus? Towards anything that feels better!

Sometimes it is a stretch, but reach, reach for the better feeling thoughts. Once you have a firm grip on it, reach again for an even better feeling thought.

Read More

Popularity: 4% [?]

Feeling rejected, feeling less than, less important, less worthy, judgment of self or others, are all at the basis of low self-esteem.

Feeling strong, confident, secure and knowing that you are doing your best, loving others even though they are not perfect, lack of judgment, following your own moral values are the basis for healthy self-esteem.

Habits are at the center of our personality; they come from our subconscious. We have habits in our lives, some of them serve us and others do not. But how often do we question them and consciously reprogram them?

Correcting something you find that is “not so nice within yourself,” or others, is not about appreciating that it is there. That is a misunderstanding. Why is it there? Because somewhere along the track, somewhere in your past you created this habit of thought and action. Now it is for you to reprogram yourself such that balance is achieved and a new and empowering habit is formed.

When bad and painful things occur, when your judgments begin to come out, you can appreciate the situation because you have a chance to grow, you have a chance to see what needs correcting, which is more likely to be your judgment rather than the outer circumstance. You can appreciate and love the people involved, even if you do not love their behavior.

You love others; you love yourself, because God is inside. Jesus said, “What you do to the least of my brother you do to me.” That is because in reality we are all one being. The thoughts, the behaviors, may need to evolve, but you can still love anyway.

Are we being honest? If not, then there will be some sort of guilt, which erodes self-esteem.

Are we being loving? If not, then how do we expect to feel well with that unloving energy moving through us.

Are we in judgment? If so then we will judge ourselves too, because we are all one the reality is that we are judging ourselves.

Are we hiding, blaming others, manipulating, stealing, looking for approval, desperate, needy? All of these thought and behavior patterns will make it difficult, if not impossible to have healthy sense of self-esteem. There may be extenuating circumstances that a person with healthy self-esteem finds themselves in where they may have to hide or manipulate a situation for the better. But if you do not have a healthy sense of self-esteem, and this is your regular pattern, even if there are good reasons you need to behave in this way, your progress will be slow.

It is important that you work these issues out, even on the smallest level, or you will have some guilt that remains inside. If you are working on these issues, and making progress, and understanding how the changes are made, it will be much easier to relax and love yourself through the process.

Love and Blessings,
Michael Skowronski
Author of Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story

image from sxc.hu

Tags: personality development, confidence, security, habits

Popularity: 2% [?]

This is the continuation of Walk on the Wild Side

When you explore your dark side you find out what is true and right for you. You free up the energy that is suppressing a vital part of yourself and holding you back. You open up to your natural guidance system. There are many things in life that you just would not do. Not because someone made a rule, but because you are not inclined to do so. Also because of the unique individual that you are, there are things that you would do that someone else would not. And what if that other person or persons were the ones who made a rule against it? If you obey the rule, now you have a dark side. You have suppressed your natural desires.

Let me give you an example. Many years ago a very dear and trusted friend, I’ll call him Sam, told me he had something extremely personal to share with me and asked if I could keep a secret. I agreed and he told me his story. Sam is a gay man who had recently lost his partner to AIDS. Sam is a very spiritual person and very keen to grow and develop as a person. He is one of the kindest and gentlest people I know. Sam is the kind of person everyone seems to like.

It seems that Sam had always wanted to try S&M and his late partner was very much opposed to this. I did not know much about S&M but I could not believe anyone would want to try it, especially Sam. Because I had a deep love and respect for Sam I listened with an open mind. I don’t want to get into a full description of what Sam shared with me about S&M because that is not the point, but it has to do with dominance and submission and inflicting pain in a role-playing semi-sexual sort of way.

By the time Sam finished his story I was shocked…yet I trusted that he knew what he was doing. Many months passed and Sam gave me updates on what he was learning about himself and about controlling pain. Eventually Sam got what he needed out of his exploration and moved onto other things. It was at that time in Sam’s life that I noticed one of the most significant changes in him for the positive. His confidence grew, has awareness expanded and the wisdom he shared reflected the best things I was learning from my current teacher, who I had the utmost respect for.

I too have explored my dark side and found similar results. I found that the judgments that others had were theirs and had nothing to do with me. I found freedom to be who I am and confidence that the Universe will support me even when others will not. And in most cases I found that I could put away those desires forever, discovering for myself why they were not for me. Before that they were always in the back of my mind longing for fulfillment and draining my energy.

So I encourage you to get out the torch and bring light to the dark recess of your life. Do it boldly and with awareness. Challenge the “shoulds” and “shouldn’ts” of your life and feel what is right for you and what is not. And while you are at it let go of what you think is right or wrong for others. Allow them to be the ones to decide on their path in life. The freedom and confidence that comes from these actions are worth it.

Love and Blessings,
Michael Skowronski
Author of Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story

image from sxc.hu

Popularity: 2% [?]

We all have a dark side; most of us have suppressed it. Often when I make such a statement, I get the following questions…”But shouldn’t we suppress it? Don’t we want to keep that part of ourselves buried so that no one will have to experience it?”

Suppressing a part of yourself is exactly what makes it a “dark side.” What is darkness? It is the absence of light. What do you think will happen if you explore it? Well you would need a light to do that and then…well, the darkness disappears.

Why do we have dark sides? Because of judgments and the rules our society has placed upon us. Fear is at the heart of this. Someone experienced something painful, decided the pain was due to a specific action, and then made a law that excludes that action from our lives.

But laws and rules do not work all of the time for all people! They cannot because everyone is different. If they always worked wouldn’t bad things stop happening? If they always worked wouldn’t our jails be empty?

We have a guidance system that is meant to protect us from harm. Our guidance system is our feelings. When we are feeling good we are on the right track. We are connected with our vast Inner-Being and going where it is guiding us to go. It is like we have a guy in a helicopter directing us where to turn so that we take the quickest route to our destination given the up to the minute conditions. And notice I said “OUR” destination, not the destination that the helicopter pilot wants to direct us to. This is not some great plan that God has for us; we are making the plans. God’s part in all of this is to experience life through us.

When we are feeling bad it is a natural and good thing. This is our protection from harm. Feeling bad is the result of closing ourselves off from our vast Inner-Being. It’s like we stopped listening to the guy in the helicopter and found ourselves stuck in a traffic jam. What is the solution? Stop, look and listen with your feelings. Choose a new path or activity that feels good.

Why would we ignore our guidance? Because for many years we have had people with loud voices and big sticks telling us things like “Shut up and stop crying.” Or “Push forward in the face of adversity.” Or “In order to get ahead in life you have to work hard and ignore the stress that comes with that.” And we were given rules to live by to replace our guidance system. Needless to say, most of the planet is attempting to move through life following a static, and outdated, road map rather than an infinitely wise guidance system. No wonder we run into roadblocks and ditches. Life is not static! It is always changing. There is no rule that works in all situations.

This blog is continued in Take a Walk on the Wild Side - Part II

Love and Blessings,
Michael Skowronski
Author of Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story

image from sxc.hu

Tags: feelings, judgement, self-exploration, self development

Popularity: 2% [?]