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Karma | Relationship Advice - Spiritual Healing

Relationship Advice - Spiritual Healing

Michael Skowronski’s Relationship Advice, Spiritual Healing, Wisdom & Love Stories
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Archive for the ‘Karma’


Karma, Law of Attraction & The Golden Rule

What does Karma, The Law of Attraction, The Golden Rule, and “What Goes Around Comes Around” have to do with each other?

You may have also heard the phrases “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” and “the secret law of attraction” as well as “the universal law of attraction.”

All of these phrases and terms are intimately related.

(More after this video…)
Justin Timberlake - What Goes Around Comes Around
@ Yahoo! Video

Relationships Don’t Have to End Like it does in this Video!
Not if you really understand “What Goes Around Comes Around” and how you create your reality!

Mistakenly people think of Karma as a law that is enforced somewhat like a sentence from a governmental judicial system. Karma is often seen as a punishment for something bad they had done in a past life.

Too many people think of the Law of Attraction as the way to get whatever they want; primarily riches, fame, fortune and as many hot lovers as they want. Movies like The Secret as well as marketing campaigns for books or Law of Attraction mentoring programs often leave the impression that this is a law that will bring us everything we ever wanted. Yet the Law of Attraction is ALWAYS active in your life…it even delivers to you what you do not want because you do not understanding how to use your creative energies.

The Golden Rule which states “do unto others as you would have them do unto you” is just plain ignored or is seen as something professed by cultish Christian religions. Even most Christians don’t live by or understand the Golden Rule. Too many (not all) Christians fall back on the fact that they are forgiven and give this advice from Jesus little or no importance.

The phrase “What Goes Around Comes Around” is often said to someone who has done us wrong. People who say such things seem to believe the phrase is true, or at least they hope it is true. They tend to see themselves as the nice guys who have been stepped upon by the bad guys.

I know there are a lot of people who are truly seeking spiritual growth. I also understand how easy it is to misunderstand all of these topics. The world is full of false teachings from false teachers who only believe due to what they have been taught or brainwashed into believing. These false teachers do not know from personal experience. I am glad people are seeking. I am sad that people speak out as if they know when in fact they only believe…which is NOT the same as knowing, understanding or wisdom.

Here is what Karma, The Law of Attraction, The Golden Rule, and “What Goes Around Comes Around” have in common…

They all describe Who We really are and how We create Our reality. (Wonder why I capitalize as I did? Think about it…)

Who We really are…We are all a part of God individualized such as to give God the experience of God from the unique individualized experience that you have as you. We all have the immortal life force energy of God moving through us. We all have the creative abilities of God within us and We all are creating the reality in which We live.

We create our reality with our minds; how we think, what we think, how often we think in certain ways, how the different things we think balance and offset the other things we think…all of it comes into play in the creation of our reality. Our actions come from our thoughts!

Whatever we think about often becomes a habit. Habits of thought become unconscious and automatic thoughts yet they still hold power. In fact they hold more power than you might imagine because you are not aware of how often you think in habitual ways…it is unconscious after all. REactions come from our unconscious habits of thought.

We are ALL ONE. Thus what you think about another you think about yourself. What you do to another you do to yourself…This is the GOLDEN RULE!

What you think about subconsciously or consciously either allows or blocks other thoughts and possibilities…this is LAW OF ATTRACTION!

The habits of thoughts you create stay with you and carry over to the afterlife. This creates the heaven or hell you dwell in until your next life where your habits of thought remain…this is KARMA! Those habits of thought continue to create in your next life too via Law of Attraction.

You do not magically change just because you die. Right here on the physical plane is where you come to fully understand Who You are and change your Karma by changing your habits of thoughts. I call this Reprogramming Yourself. This is how you release yourself from the necessity to come back to live in physical reality and how you find your way back to a conscious experience of being One with God.

All of these spiritual concepts are related. These are the most important spiritual concepts to grasp if you wish to heal your life and heal your relationship and become enlightened and become a self realized master and to have the same incredible power at your conscious disposal as Jesus and other amazing masters had.

All of these spiritual concepts have a great influence on the quality of your relationships with others and the conscious power you hold in the physical world.

All of these spiritual concepts have a great influence on how much love you experience in your day to day existence and how happy and fulfilled you are.

Click here to read about “How do I Know what I Teach is True?

I go into much greater depth on these topics in my audio program The Ultimate Guide to Relationship Healing and in the blogs you will have access to when you join my Relationship Healing Group. If you join you can even ask me questions directly about these topics during live tele-classes and via email.

Other people have gotten a great deal of benefit from the way I have explained these realities of life. If you wish to read their comment about my writings please visit the following blogs where you will find a taste of the topic and the comments these people have left.

Yes, my Relationship Healing Group is focused on helping you have incredibly loving and fulfilling relationships. It teaches you that by helping you to understand the practical nature of true spiritual growth.

Just as Karma, the Law of Attraction, the Golden Rule, and “What Goes Around Comes Around” are intimately related so is Relationship Healing, Spiritual Growth, and Personal Growth. If you wish to make great progress in these areas of your life, then come and join our Relationship Healing Group…you will be glad you did. Guaranteed or your money back!

Kind and Loving Regards,
Michael Skowronski
Author of Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story

Popularity: 68% [?]

She Lied to Her Husband about Money

A woman lied to her husband about making their car payments. Of course it came out later and now there is great turmoil in their lives. What relationship advice would you give this couple?

The following phrase comes to mind when giving relationship advice, “Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.”

The reason is because this woman, if she is paying attention, has certainly learned something. The man too. Specific relationship advice may not be needed. But overall personal growth and understanding are certainly needed for these two people…otherwise they would not be making such big mistakes. Yet perhaps right now they do need specific relationship advice for handling this specific relationship problem. Like a hungry man, its hard to learn how to fish when you are hungry…so give the fish but then teach the skill of fishing.

Specific Relationship Advice - Eat This Fish

The wife needs to sincerely apologize and make it right by taking care of the financial problem she created. The husband needs to love her anyways and try to discover how and if he helped create this situation. Did he somehow leave her desperate for money? Blame won’t help now. Seeking to understand and improve your responses to life will.

Live and learn. When people try to make it about right and wrong, when condemning judgment enters the picture much pain and suffering is sure to follow.

Own what you have done. Make sure you learn from it. Evaluate how it made him feel, how it made you feel, what it did to your own self esteem, how you lost trust in his eyes, how it will feel the next time he questions you and perhaps does not trust you are telling the truth.

But do not condemn yourself or him. Instead come to understand yourself better and the cause and effect nature of life. Reprogram yourself so the habits of thought and action that caused this situation no longer occur.

Relationships are very difficult when we have not come to understand ourselves or life. This is why I lead a Relationship Healing Group and have produced a 4 hour audio program called The Ultimate Guide to Relationship Healing.

Having a coach to help you understand life, yourself and your relationships better is one of the best investments you can make in yourself. DO IT, and you will be fed for all of your life times! (Yes plural, life times!)

Cheers,
Michael Skowronski
Author of Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story

Popularity: 65% [?]

How to Break Up – Advice for Ending a Relationship

Unfortunately ending relationship problems often means ending a relationship. Whether you want to know how to break up with your boyfriend, girlfriend, or just a friend…“How to break up a relationship?” is a difficult question to answer.

What makes “How to breakup advice” so difficult? Well that is just one of the questions I will answer in this “How to Breaking Up Advice” blog as well as giving you relationship advice on…

  • When to End a Relationship
  • How to End a Relationship
  • How to Break Up Nicely

Click Here for Advice on
How to Cope with a Relationship Breakup

What I will be actually teaching you is how you will know what is best for you in your own unique circumstances. I wish to empower you to be able to make breakup and other decisions with confidence and create the best outcome possible.

Why is How to Breakup Advice so Difficult?

I believe this funny video provides a true glimpse into the nature of unaware people. We are surrounded by such people who are constantly advising us from their limited perspective on life even though they have a lot of relationship problems of their own.

I wish to help you move towards a more powerful and aware version of yourself and away from the influence of such people. Not because they are unworthy but because their approach to life and relationships will not serve you in being happy and fulfilled.

One of the reasons giving relationship advice is so difficult is because the advice that actually brings you the best future life is often NOT what the majority of people are advising. Like all of the characters in that video most people are unaware. They have a very narrow focus in life and are not paying attention to how life really works.People operate from bad habits they learned growing up. People react to their emotions rather than from a peaceful place of knowing what is really going on and from the logic of what will truly bring the best outcome into their life experience.

Unfortunately this majority mindset has too much influence on a person who is suffering over the decision of ending a relationship and how to break up.

While I can and will give you specific relationship advice like “how to breakup” and “how to know when to break up” wouldn’t it be even better if I helped you move into a place of true wisdom and personal power?

In my four hour audio program The Ultimate Guide to Relationship Healing and in my Relationship Healing Group I help you achieve Spiritual Healing and become a powerful person capable of making decisions that serve you.

Join the Relationship Healing Group and you will discover the root of all of life’s problems and how to overcome them all.

You will have to make millions of decisions in your life. Learning how to make tough decisions for yourself is more important than taking the advice for one specific relationship problem from someone else who does not walk in your shoes.

When to End a Relationship

Ending a relationship should occur when you feel like it is time, when you are ready for it to end…not when other people think you should end it. When YOU are ready!

It does not matter if you took marriage vows of “till death do us part.” It does not matter if your partner will suffer great emotional stress or even threatens to commit suicide. And it does not matter if other people are screaming at you to leave when you feel you should stay.

YOU must make YOUR OWN decisions about what is best for YOU in YOUR LIFE. Other people must make decisions on what is best for them in their own lives. We are all responsible for ourselves number one first and foremost.

You will make the best decisions when you are in a peaceful and loving state of mind, not when you are under emotional stress. Strong emotions cause us to think and react in irrational ways.

This process will help you make ending relationship decisions as well as other important decisions…

  1. Bring yourself to a calm and peaceful state of mind. (Do what it takes. This is a very important step.)
  2. Close your eyes and imagine one of your perceived options playing itself out.
  3. Imagine it in great detail and what each decision leads to.
  4. FEEL how it feels to live that experience as you are imagining it.
  5. Repeat those steps above with each possible option.
  6. Choose the option that feels the best, make the decision, and move forward to the next step.
  7. Life changes, more options appear, you have the opportunities to decide again…repeat the entire process every day of your life. (Notice that this requires that you remain awake and continue to feel and make decisions that make you feel good.)

I teach more about this process and why it works so well in The Ultimate Guide to Relationship Healing audio program. If you JOIN MY Relationship Healing Group you can ask me personally for more help with this process or anything else I teach along the lines of Relationship Advice and Spiritual Healing.

My specific breakup advice for ending a bad relationship is to get out once you see a negative pattern. Abuse, judgments, manipulations, lies, cheating, anger, hatred are habits that people develop. The very nature of habits is that they are repeated.

When you first start dating you will see your lover behave in a negative way only towards other people, then when they get comfortable with you and have won your trust and devotion they will behave badly with you too.

Unless a person is taking an active role in changing, they will not change. It is that simple…so who are their teachers?

Who is your teacher? If you wish to attract a different sort of person you too need to change; otherwise you can break up and leave this person yet the next person is likely to behave very much the same until you do change. So who is your teacher? Who will guide you in making your changes?

How to End a Relationship – How to Break Up Nicely

The key is to break up as nicely as possible. No matter what your soon to be ex has done, no matter how badly they have behaved, do not let the other person turn you into a monster! You still have to answer to Karma, to God, to your own conscious (and even to the laws of your country) for your thoughts, words and deeds.

By behaving badly yourself you will develop your own bad habits of behaving badly. Do NO Harm! Let Life deal with your soon to be ex-partner and their bad habits…trust me, eventually Life will do exactly that. Even if you never see them get what is coming to them.

However, do not misconstrue this advice to mean you should not protect yourself. You definitely need to protect yourself. But question what is necessary and what is not. Go back to the decision making advice I gave earlier in this blog. Remain calm and peaceful and carefully work out your best options and then follow through to the best of your ability.

Why can’t you “Text Message Breakup” as in the video at the top of this blog? Who says you can’t do it that way? It might just be the right way for you to do it. However in most cases, this is NOT the most respectful way to break up with someone you love or have loved.

Breaking up with someone is difficult. It is emotionally stressful. There is guilt about your own actions. There is worry and fear about what your partner’s reaction might be and all sorts of other negative feelings.

Do NOT run away from your feelings. Feel them! Acknowledge them. Ask yourself which of your own thoughts and actions each of your feelings come from. Make your mind up to change your own habits, to reprogram yourself, such that you do not repeat any behaviors that give you negative feelings.

Negative feelings in regards to your own behaviors tells you that you are not doing your best, you are not living up to your potential, and you are not heading towards your own true goals in life. So let your feelings help you to see where it is that you need to change, and then make the necessary changes in yourself.

How to Break Up Depends Upon Your Circumstances

If your partner might get violent or abusive, do it in public or with a calm and protective friend. If you feel like you might get stalked or harassed seek out legal advice and seek out advice on avoiding a stalker. Protect yourself with information.

A WARNING about involving the police…These days the police are willing to lock up anybody, anytime, for any reason. It is a sad state of affairs in America. A woman can call the police and get a man locked up with a few lies.

Legal fees to pay for an attorney are steep. If you need to involve the police have some compassion for the person you are getting locked up. Be honest. Do not take advantage of the situation to get revenge.

I have seen too much of this lately with women who call the police as a way to get revenge on a man who displeases them in some way. Play nice and play fair.

Jail time and $10,000 in legal fees is not a fair price to pay when someone simply changes their mind or cheats on you or plays some other silly drama. Reserve the calls to the police for when there is a real possibility of danger.

If you feel your partner might do harm to themselves then ask one of their own trusted friends to come and be with you both when you break up so that when you leave your partner they have some immediate support.

If you have a relatively sane partner then just do it quickly and cleanly. You don’t have to go into great detail. By the time it comes to breaking up either you should have already talked your issues out and seen that you were not getting satisfaction, or you just came to the place where you were through with the relationship.

In depth explanations at breakup time should not be necessary.

Trying to remain friends does work for some people. But if there are strong attachments on one side or another, then someone is going to be hoping to reunite every time you meet up as friends. That will be awkward and prolong the pain.

Your intentions are the key in this delicate situation. Wish the best for the partner you are breaking up with. Wish them love and peace and abundance and emotional sanity.

For the next 21 days pray for them daily to have these things. Then go about creating the life you wish to live for yourself.

Relationship breakups can open you up to a whole new world of possibilities. Get excited about what lies ahead and let go of the attachments and pain of the past.

Best Wishes on a Happy New Life,
Michael Skowronski

P.S. Getting involved in my Relationship Healing Group and listening to The Ultimate Guide to Relationship Healing can help you at any stage of your life. Whether you are single, just starting a new relationship, struggling to keep it together, or breaking up, my Relationship Healing products and services will help you evolve and become enlightened about life.

Popularity: 77% [?]

The Evolution of a Soul

How a Person Soul EvolvesThe greatest difficulty with understanding how our minds create stem from the narrow focus we hold on our single physical life. We are much more than this ego person in this body in this single physical lifetime. We are eternal beings whose lives have always been and always will be. Eternity is a very long time. No matter what occurs in a single lifetime it cannot affect who we really and truly are. Losing an arm or one’s eyesight is nothing for a soul that is immortal and perfect. For such a being how could there ever be fear or worry or doubt?

So we setup a game, one in which we forget who we are for what seems to be a very long time. Although time does not really exist we have created the illusion that time is real by a sequencing of events and a space in which these events leave their mark and maintain a continuity. The net result is a seemingly real existence where it seems that…

(There WAS much more to this blog but it has been removed…
see details below)


Click here to read the comments left by those that read the full blog. You will see that MANY people found a lot of help in the content of my blogs. Unfortunately I had to remove the content of most of my blogs for the reason stated further below.You can continue reading my blogs by joining my relationship healing group, the details of which you can find at http://RelationshipAdviceSite.com By joining my healing group you will get…

  • The Ultimate Guide to Relationship Healing a four hour Audio Program.
  • All of my blogs.
  • MANY hours of additional Audio programs.
  • Live Tele-Classes given by me where you will have the opportunity to ask your own specific questions.
  • Access to my coaching via email just like you have seen in my blogs on MySpace.

Why did I Remove my Blog Content from MySpace & gr8Wisdom.com?

 I spent more than a year doing free spiritual and relationship counseling on MySpace. If you review the comments on my blogs (which I have left intact for you to review) you can see that I have spent a great deal of time, covered a lot of topics, AND A LOT OF PEOPLE WERE HELPED BY MY ADVICE. I have really enjoyed it and thank all of you who have participated. Many of my friends have touched my heart very deeply. I love you all!

Unfortunately doing it for free has resulted in me not being able to write new blogs or serve as many people as I would like too. Doing it for free has caused me to maintain a fulltime job with not enough time to coach those people who want and need the help I have to offer. By charging for my services I will eventually be able to quit my job and do my spiritual counseling work full time.

My blogs really do contain all you need to know in order to live a healthy and happy life and the live coaching I offer in the healing group fills in the gaps. Please consider joining this group today. http://RelationshipAdviceSite.com

Love and Blessings,
Michael Skowronski
Author of Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story

Popularity: 17% [?]

Jealousy and Low Self Esteem - How to Cope

Dealing with Jealous People with Low Self-Esteem

I got the following email from a friend and am answering it here in this blog…with her permission of course.

“Hey Michael,

“I am in a sort of internship I believe. I still have some issues of my own. Most of the abuse I have sustained was of the psychological kind and was done at the time when I was most absorbent (childhood). So… I feel that I have forgiven but that my next step is to accept that I will know this same harmful intent in others.

“I think I am what is called a “sensitive”. I respond to the feelings of others…and yes, I have always said that I can feel the feelings of others. My problem is that I am not always able to determine that the feelings are not necessarily directed at me; therefore I ‘think’ they are. As a result I become angry or hurt.

“In a way, that is the same as saying I feel responsible and that is not healthy.

“I am NOW able to acknowledge when I feel extremely uncomfortable around others; when I sense their toxicity; their ambivalence.”

Munga, you made a very good observation here. First of all it does not matter if it was directed at you or not. What matters is do you really deserve the energy being projected? Do you know? Are you clear enough to know?

Most people “think” that the words and perceived attitude of others are directed at them. This is a very standard assumption we all make. I still catch this happening in myself when my wife becomes unhappy. ..

(Removed much of my advice due to the reasons stated below.)

“I know that is weird but you must know that women truly have different issues than men. With women, it is often about outward appearances; there is a vanity there in addition to everything else. This co-worker was morbidly obese, but then again, the three other employees (including boss) are also obese”

(Removed my advice due to the reasons stated below.)

“Living in this world with other hurt people is not easy. There are no quick or fool proof solutions. I would love to be able to rise above the sickness in others, but I have a feeling that none of us is ever really healed, we just get better.”

(Removed my advice due to the reasons stated below.)

“When I realized that the co worker literally was directing HATE towards me, I tried talking to her in a tactful and gentle way. I told her I wanted us to get along and even enjoy working together. I felt good about what I said to her and felt I had done so in a loving and heartfelt way. :) Obviously, I should not have spoken about it to her because she merely became more resentful.”

(Removed my advice due to the reasons stated below.)

“I am not an overt, exciting person. I can’t walk in a room and uplift others by giving them extreme praise or making them feel wonderful. My personality is very calm and low key… but I smile and am friendly. This is the part I felt I had failed at. This is when, for a moment, I wished I were a different sort of person… one who could “win friends and influence people”.

(Removed my advice due to the reasons stated below.)

“I think that I am a help to many of my friends… that they sense they are safe with me (and I with them) and we are able to help each other. But, that is not necessarily true of all relationships.”

(Removed my advice due to the reasons stated below.)

“I wanted to be a help to my ex husband (while we were still married). (At first of course, I was very angry and showed my anger towards him). But after learning more, reading more, I tried to be loving and tolerant; knowing he suffered from alcoholism. But, to be honest, this change in me seemed to make things worse… now perhaps that is natural progression of alcoholism and nothing to do with me, but I was the one who had to eventually flee. Not for my life, but for my sanity. My already bruised ego hung perilously on the edge of a breakdown.”

(Removed my advice due to the reasons stated below.)

“I still question why my love wasn’t enough to help my ex. I still wonder why I have to “feel” the feelings of others. They only hurt for the most part.”

Your love has helped, you just don’t see all the ways it has helped him…

(There WAS much more to this blog but it has been removed…
see details below)


Click here to read the comments left by those that read the full blog. You will see that MANY people found a lot of help in the content of my blogs. Unfortunately I had to remove the content of most of my blogs for the reason stated further below.You can continue reading my blogs by joining my relationship healing group, the details of which you can find at http://RelationshipAdviceSite.com By joining my healing group you will get…

  • The Ultimate Guide to Relationship Healing a four hour Audio Program.
  • All of my blogs.
  • MANY hours of additional Audio programs.
  • Live Tele-Classes given by me where you will have the opportunity to ask your own specific questions.
  • Access to my coaching via email just like you have seen in my blogs on MySpace.

Why did I Remove my Blog Content from MySpace & gr8Wisdom.com?

 I spent more than a year doing free spiritual and relationship counseling on MySpace. If you review the comments on my blogs (which I have left intact for you to review) you can see that I have spent a great deal of time, covered a lot of topics, AND A LOT OF PEOPLE WERE HELPED BY MY ADVICE. I have really enjoyed it and thank all of you who have participated. Many of my friends have touched my heart very deeply. I love you all!

Unfortunately doing it for free has resulted in me not being able to write new blogs or serve as many people as I would like too. Doing it for free has caused me to maintain a fulltime job with not enough time to coach those people who want and need the help I have to offer. By charging for my services I will eventually be able to quit my job and do my spiritual counseling work full time.

My blogs really do contain all you need to know in order to live a healthy and happy life and the live coaching I offer in the healing group fills in the gaps. Please consider joining this group today. http://RelationshipAdviceSite.com

Love and Blessings,
Michael Skowronski
Author of Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story

Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story

Popularity: 32% [?]

The Honeymoon and the Truth about Eju

This is the latest part of the story with the following installments:

Part 1 - A Marriage Made in Heaven Part I, Part II

Part 2 - The Suicide and the Accident

A side story - The Elephants of India

The Kidnapping and the Wedding

The Kidnapping

The Couple Reunite

We spent our first honeymoon night in a room at the home-stay of Madhu and Sandhya. Had I know about the abduction of my brother-in-law I would not have brought Shyni there. Years later when I questioned Shyni about it, “Why didn’t you talk me into staying somewhere else? Why didn’t you tell me Sandhya participated in kidnapping Shyam?”

She replied, “There was no other place we could have stayed. Everyone in Kumily was jealous of me. If I would have tried to take you somewhere else you would have wanted to know why. I did not want you to know about the kidnapping so soon and you trusted Sandhya. I wanted you to trust me before I began telling you how horrible these people can be. You needed to experience it for yourself first.”

I was still quite naïve about people, much more than I thought at the time. But as the story will eventually show, I did learn a lesson in life that I really needed to learn. Shyni was right to wait and let me discover this truth for myself. It did teach me to trust her more too.

Shyni was quite ill on the evening of our wedding day. She came down with a high fever. I attributed it to her not sleeping much the night before and all of the stress of the wedding. I went to the nearby restaurant owned by our Egyptian and British friends and shared a bottle of wine with them while I waited for my takeaway order to be prepared. Shyni does not drink, never has and insists that she never will, so she was happy I had someone else to celebrate with.

Due to her illness we did not consummate our marriage that evening either. Shyni remained shy about nudity and she objected when I undressed in the bedroom rather than the privacy of bathroom. I just figured it was time for her to get used to a new style of living and a new culture. I did not want to set the tone of our marriage as one of being prudish.

I hired a car and driver to take us to Munnar the next day. It was a beautiful four hour drive through the Western Ghats Mountains. These mountains rise quickly, with deep narrow valleys and another steep rise only one to two kilometers away. They contain plenty of water falls, rivers and lakes and are quite lush and green.

The journey was spectacular and magical…especially with my beautiful bride at my side. We were finally free. We sat close, held hands, looked into each other’s eyes and kissed often. This was something we could not do since the time we met, except when we were in the privacy of our bed room. And even then Shyni was holding back and reserving her affection until after the temple wedding. But now she was much more open and free with me and I was loving it!

At one point in our long drive I said to Shyni, “It’s too bad we can’t take Eju to America with us.” Eju is Shyni’s nine year old nephew, the son of her sister. He is adorable and has an energy that is very similar to ours. I love children and Eju is very easy to love because
he is so affectionate and well behaved. Shyni replied, “Do you mean that? Do you really want to take Eju to the USA?” I said, “Yes, I can see how much he loves you and how much he will miss you when I take you away.”

Shyni then proceeded to tell me how she had adopted Eju as her own son at six months of age. “I first found out about Eju when he was four months old. I came home from nursing school after my first year exams were complete. My family had not even told me that Jessie was pregnant. There was so much shame because Gopal did not want to marry her. For two months they all argued about how much dowry money Gopal’s family would accept for the marriage to take place. My father was too poor and did not have any money to offer. All that he could promise was a one third share in our family home and land. This was not enough for Gopal or his family to accept. Poor Jessie, she loved Gopal and did not want to lose him and she was facing the reality of how people in our culture would treat her as an unwed mother. Neither Jessie nor Gopal was mature enough to be parents, they were like children themselves.

“Then one night Jessie called me to come and help her. I had to ride three hours by bus to get to her house. A lot of Gopal’s family was there, a few of the men were drunk. They were all fighting over the baby and threatening to kill it. One of the men took Eju from the bed and tried to throw him to the floor. I quickly jumped up and caught Eju and ran out of the house with him. It was dark, and wet, the ground was slippery. But I ran as fast as I could down the hill and hid in the dark to see if I was being followed. I had to hold Eju’s mouth closed so they could not hear him cry.

“I watched for awhile as they came out of the house to look for me. It was too dark and it took them a little while to get organized, so I ran to a neighbor’s house and knocked on the door. They let me in and I told them what was happening. They hid us and let us sleep there overnight. I got up and took Eju home with me by bus at five in the morning.

“I had to tell my father what happened. He was very upset but not surprised. Jessie came home a few days later. I took care of Eju during that time, even when Jessie was there. I spoke with my great grandmother Ellie and asked her what I should do. She told me to follow my heart. I told her my heart said to keep Eju and raise him as my own son. My wise old great granny told me that God would support me if I was really confirmed in my decision.

“After about a week Jessie went back to Gopal and I kept Eju. A few days later my father asked me when I was going to send Eju back to his parents and I told him I was never going to send him back. We had a very long talk about it and how it was that I would take care of this baby. My father was already financially stressed and did not want another mouth to feed.

“I transferred from my nursing school, which was four hours away by bus, to a school in Kumily (which is where the family home was) and I took Eju to school with me. I told people he was my baby and his father worked a long ways away. I got a job dancing in shows for resort guests to help feed my baby and pay the bills. My father and brother Shyam played music at the resort, so they also played the music while my Uncle Cebe and me danced in the traditional Kerala style. My mother watched Eju while we performed.”

I interrupted Shyni’s story to ask, “Wasn’t it difficult to go to school, study, take care of a child and dance every evening? How could you manage?”

“Oh, I was often very tired, but I loved my life. I always wanted to be a mother so it was easy to take care of Eju. I loved being with my father and brother while they played music. It was difficult but I just did what I had to do. I could not quit school; I needed to have life out of the poverty that was too common in India. So I put up with it all. Until my father died, that is when I quit dancing and went to Delhi to work. Then my whole family needed money and Delhi was the only place I could earn good pay.”

I was blown away and my eyes were filled with tears. “Wow Shyni, I did not realize. You could have told me that Eju was your son. I can love both of you.”

“I did not know how you would take it. I wasn’t sure if you would understand. I felt I could tell you later and it would be okay.” Shyni said with a little bit of worry in her voice.

“It is okay. I love you and I am happy that we can take him to the States with us…we will be able to take him won’t we? Did you legally adopt him?”

“No. But we can do that if you like.”

“We will probably have to adopt him in order to get him a visa. Will Gopal and Jessie allow this?”

“It will take some time, but I can convince them. Eju does not want them and they don’t really want him either. Eju was so sad on our wedding day. Did you notice? He cried when we were leaving because he thought you were taking me to the USA. He did not understand what a honeymoon was, he thought Honeymoon was a place.”

I felt so happy that it was I who married this woman and not some other foreigner who might have objected. There were so many things in my life, the big things, in complex ways, that always seemed to work out in just the perfect way. I felt like this was one more sign that our marriage was divinely orchestrated and that my new wife Shyni too was moving with the divine flow of life. “Call your mother as soon we get to our resort and tell them we are going to take Eju with us.”

We stopped a couple of times along the way to enjoy the spectacular views. The rivers and valleys and waterfalls were too beautiful to pass by at a quick pace. I held Shyni close as we stood and admired the views. I felt an even deeper sense of connection with her because we were becoming a family. When I was considering taking an Indian wife, I thought it would be nice to find a widow who already had children, because I love children and because I knew a woman with a child would have a harder time finding a husband. I could not imagine taking a wife as young as twenty four like so many of the girls I had met. I did like the idea of having a younger wife, but not at the expense of immaturity. I preferred to have a mature woman even if it meant an older wife. As I held Shyni in my arms I was filled with joy and amazement at how God took so many of my desires into account when he set us up. I got a beautiful young wife who was also a mature woman and a child, this was everything I wanted. And we were getting along very well.

When we arrived at our hotel in Munnar Shyni was again not feeling very well and I needed a walk to stretch my legs after our long drive. She was already used to my routine of taking a morning and evening walk alone so she seemed to be fine with me going for a walk before it got dark. When I returned from my walk however she was not as happy. The hotel staff had questioned her about what she was doing there with me. They wanted to see our wedding certificates, which she showed to them. The man running the hotel did not seem to be impressed but the other two women on the staff began treating Shyni better. I held Shyni in my arms to comfort her and caressed her hair.

Indians have very strange ideas about life and what is appropriate and inappropriate. Actually people in all cultures have this problem, but it is much easier to see it in another culture than it is in your own. However, if you live in a couple of different cultures for a few years, it becomes easy to see the silliness of your own culture as well. I highly recommend that people go and live in a couple of different foreign countries for a few years. It would dramatically help you in your efforts to change your inner programming. If we could only take about one third of the born and raised Americans and transplant them to various third world countries for three years I bet we would see a rapid and dramatic change for the better in the entire world within a few years time. It would change the perspective of so many people who could then be effective agents for worldwide changes.

Shyni had also phoned Chechi (her mother) while I was gone. Chechi was happy to hear from us so soon on our journey. And Eju was very happy to hear about our ideas to take him to the States with us. They were also relieved that I was letting Shyni continue her communication with her family. They wondered how long it would be before they heard from Shyni.

We had a romantic dinner alone together for the first time since I have known Shyni. It was just the two of us, without family, indeed there were no other guests in the dining room at the time we were there. We talked a lot about our lives and our hopes and dreams for our future together and Shyni told me more about the troubles she had protecting Eju from harm.

“After I had been caring for Eju for two months, the president of Gopal’s community called me and she asked me to come to Gopal’s house for a meeting. When I arrived with Eju, Gopal’s cousin Sanu was there along with Gopal, Jessie and this community woman. She talked with us all and told Gopal that he had to pay some money to me for taking care of his baby. Sanu got very angry and picked up a chair, raising it over his head, to smash me with it while I was holding Eju. The community president was a big woman and she caught the chair and stopped him from hitting me. I ran for the door but Sanu caught me and began choking me to try to get me to drop Eju. I nearly passed out but I didn’t drop him so Sanu pushed me out the door. Both Eju and I fell onto the cement porch and got scratched up pretty badly. Gopal just sat there in silence; he said nothing.”

“Oh my God! What did you do?”

“I went back home and never took Eju back there again. But that is not all…Four months later Gopal’s mother and step-father came to visit us. She was being nice and wanted to hold the baby so I let her and I went to the toilet. My mother was there with them so I thought it would be okay. When I came back Gopal’s mother was gone. She had only been at the house for a very short time. I asked Chechi what had happened and she told me Eju’s grandmother gave him some biscuits and then they said they had to go. Very soon Eju started looking sick so we rushed him to the hospital.”

I was in shock. I could hardly believe what I was hearing. “Did they poison him?”

“Yes, Gopal’s mother poisoned Eju.”

“Did they pump out his stomach? Did the test it for poison?”

“Yes, we did have his stomach pumped and they did find that there was poison in the biscuits. They tried to kill him.”

I sat there for a moment with my mind reeling, How could anyone do something like that to a baby? Especially when someone else was taking care of it and not asking for anything. I was feeling mixed emotions. I was very proud that I had such a strong woman as Shyni as my wife and at the same time in shock at how sick some people could be. “Did you go to the police? Did you tell them what had happened?”

“No, we did not want any more trouble from these people. I called Gopal and told him to never come to our house again. I told him to tell the rest of his family to stay away or we would call the police.”

“Did that work, did they stay away?”

“They stayed away until Eju was nearly five. Then Gopal came by with a friend of his. Eju met Gopal at the door and called me. I asked Eju who it was and he said he didn’t know. When I came to the door Gopal had tears in his eyes. I told him I did not want his tears or his drama and sent him away.

“Many months later Gopal came back again. Jessie was staying with us at the time. He said he wanted his wife and child back. My father told me I had no legal right to keep Eju so I should send him back to his father.”

“Oh my God! What did you do?”

“I had to send him back. But I went with them. After two days I could see that Gopal was not acting like a father. He gave no love to Eju. He did not pick Eju up or play with him or hug and kiss him. And Jessie too began ignoring Eju again. So I took Eju with me and left.”

“How long was Jessie living with you at your house?”

“On and off for a year and a half. The longest she stayed with us was eight months.”

“Wow Shyni, you are a strong woman. You don’t ever have to worry about having that kind of drama with me. I will take good care of both you and Eju. Will they give us any trouble adopting him?”

“I can manage them. It will take some time. But we will get the legal papers.”

“After your father died, what did you do with Eju then? That is when you went to Delhi to work as a nurse right?”

“I couldn’t take Eju with me. It would have been too difficult. I had to learn a new language and learn my way around Delhi. I could not trust anybody in a strange city to take care of Eju while I was at work. So my mother took care of Eju while I was gone. I was making good money and saved most of it to send home to take care of the bills my father left behind and to feed my family. I took the train back home a couple of times each year to visit.”

Shyni’s story had me in tears. I was very impressed with Shyni and so thankful that I could be there to help make the rest of her life easier. We enjoyed our dinner together and then went back to our room. Shyni still had a fever and wanted to go to sleep early so we did.

I made no moves to have sex with her because she was still ill. But while we were lying in bed cuddling Shyni told me she was ready and wanted to make love so we did. It was awkward for us at first; more awkward than any other sexual experience I had in the past, but it was the start. It took many months for us to become totally comfortable with our sexual experience together. She had a lot to learn, and I learned some new things too.

Now I can honestly say that Shyni is the best sexual partner I have ever had. Although there are many reasons for this, I believe one of the biggest reasons is that we are both totally committed without any thought or desire for anyone else. That is not something I can say about my past relationships. In the past there was always a desire in the back of my mind for other sexual experiences with other women. In my younger years I thought it was natural and normal for a young man to have strong sexual urges and desire for multiple sexual partners. Now I am certain that energy tainted my past relationships and made them less than they could have been. By the time I had married Shyni too much had happened in my life, good times and painful times, things that got me ready for this woman and the commitment she had to be totally faithful to her husband. So faithful that she waited thirty years without sharing so much as a kiss with another man. I don’t mean this to be critical in any way of anybody else; I am just presenting our experience.

We thoroughly enjoyed the rest of our honeymoon together, but there were some challenges. We stayed two nights at this hotel which was higher up in the mountains than the village of Munnar. There was a lake and dam and tea plantations to explore. We stayed two more nights in the village of Munnar where Shyni was very ill and we had to call a doctor to our home-stay room to examin her and give her medication. While there we enjoyed a paddle boat ride on a river; I did all of the peddling since Shyni was not feeling well. Then we went down to a village called Kumarakom near the coast, not too far from Cochin. Shyni felt much better there because the climate was hot. Munnar was five thousand feet high and quite cold at night, and even cool during the day. We stayed three nights in a home-stay right on a canal and took a motor boat cruise of the canals while we were there. We also drove around and enjoyed all of the beautiful natural sights of the area.

Shyni stayed in touch with her family the whole time we were on our honeymoon. While we were in Kumarakom she got the disturbing news that Gopal had beat his wife Jessie. Because of that, and because I wanted to get back to work writing my book Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story, we cut our honeymoon short by a few days. We had one more costal city we were going to visit but decided to return to Kumily instead.

Karma Changes People

Because I have reported some pretty horrible things about Shyni’s relatives in this story I wish to balance it out by saying something else about these people. It is nearly three years later and during this time Life has had quite an impact on them. Jessie and Gopal have stayed with us for many days and nights on many occasions. We did legally adopt Eju and their second child Geethu has also come under our care. Geethu wants us to adopt her too and Jessie and Gopal have consented. Jessie is not without fault in their fights; indeed she has a very big mouth, can be quite mean, and does not know when to shut up. She talks constantly, and I do mean constantly. Once my brother pulled the circuit breaker in our house so Jessie would think we had a power outage and go to sleep. It worked and she stopped talking.

Jessie and Gopal are getting along a lot better now as a result of so many things, including the influence that Shyni and I have had on them. Shyni’s mother Chechi is taking care of the kids since we have no visa’s for them yet. Jessie and Gopal are helping out and have become very responsible. The kids deny that Jessie and Gopal are their parents, treats them like servants, insults them any time they screw up, and tries to show them the correct way to care for children. Otherwise both kids are strong loving and competent beings. Eju has won a few singing competitions and at age twelve has become quite the entrepreneur starting a few of his own side businesses. Geethu has been the top student of her class in both kindergarten and first grades. I keep telling Shyni to talk to the kids about respecting their birth parents, but we don’t have that much control from here. I don’t speak their language yet and the kid’s English is not real good either. So Jessie and Gopal are being given some very hard lessons and they are changing.

The second husband of Gopal’s mother died recently and her stepchildren kicked her out of her husband’s home. This is the woman who poisoned Eju as a baby. Gopal’s father, which is her first husband, lives with Jessie and Gopal and will not have her back. So Gopal can’t care for his own mother who faces being homeless. She is not homeless however, because she is now living with Shyni’s mother Chechi, Eju and Geethu. Eju is loving his grandmother who tried to kill him early in his life. She has to live with what she did on a daily basis. Her vial deeds were returned with love.

It is funny how Eju’s life and existence has influenced these people who were so desperate for money when he was born and so ready to kill him because they thought he would be a burden in their lives. When Eju was two years old he played Tabla with his grandfather at the Spice Village Resort and earned Rs. 100 for his performance, a day’s wage for an Indian man. Just the other day the family needed food yet Chechi and Gopal both were out of money. We normally give them money but the ATM card they were using was stolen and the new one has not yet arrived. So twelve year old Eju told Chechi that he would go and do some work so they could eat. He went out and returned only a couple of hours later with Rs. 600 (for installing a home theater); this is a week’s wage for an Indian man. They all ate that evening and for many more days because of the baby they wanted to kill. Life has its ways of teaching us what we need to learn.

Stay tuned for the next installment – Stranded in India

Love and Blessings,
Michael Skowronski
Author of Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story

P.S. If you like this story and my other blogs then you will love my book. Please help us out by reading Unforgettable and telling your friends about it. You can purchase an autographed copy directly from my website or you can also find it on Amazon.com as well as BarnesAndNoble.com.

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A POWERFUL Creative Tool - Giving Thanks

How to Say Thank You

Are miracles that are reported throughout history true? Or are they just the hopeful fantasies of silly superstitious people? I say, for the most part, they are true and I will tell you why further down…

When Jesus performed his miracle of the loaves and fishes before the great crowds that came to hear him speak what was the first thing that he did? FIRST He gave thanks, second he broke the bread and fishes, and third he instructed his disciples to distribute them to the crowds. Jesus gave thanks even before the miracle had occurred. Gratitude is a very powerful tool for creating. You cannot just give lip service, or mental service to gratitude, for when gratitude is done properly it is ALWAYS followed by a very good feeling that we refer to as gratitude. This feeling often moves us to tears…that is how powerful this feeling is.

(There WAS much more to this blog but it has been removed…
see details below)


Click here to read the comments left by those that read the full blog. You will see that MANY people found a lot of help in the content of my blogs. Unfortunately I had to remove the content of most of my blogs for the reason stated further below.You can continue reading my blogs by joining my relationship healing group, the details of which you can find at http://RelationshipAdviceSite.com By joining my healing group you will get…

  • The Ultimate Guide to Relationship Healing a four hour Audio Program.
  • All of my blogs.
  • MANY hours of additional Audio programs.
  • Live Tele-Classes given by me where you will have the opportunity to ask your own specific questions.
  • Access to my coaching via email just like you have seen in my blogs on MySpace.

Why did I Remove my Blog Content from MySpace & gr8Wisdom.com?

 I spent more than a year doing free spiritual and relationship counseling on MySpace. If you review the comments on my blogs (which I have left intact for you to review) you can see that I have spent a great deal of time, covered a lot of topics, AND A LOT OF PEOPLE WERE HELPED BY MY ADVICE. I have really enjoyed it and thank all of you who have participated. Many of my friends have touched my heart very deeply. I love you all!

Unfortunately doing it for free has resulted in me not being able to write new blogs or serve as many people as I would like too. Doing it for free has caused me to maintain a fulltime job with not enough time to coach those people who want and need the help I have to offer. By charging for my services I will eventually be able to quit my job and do my spiritual counseling work full time.

My blogs really do contain all you need to know in order to live a healthy and happy life and the live coaching I offer in the healing group fills in the gaps. Please consider joining this group today. http://RelationshipAdviceSite.com

Love and Blessings,
Michael Skowronski
Author of Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story

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