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Forgiveness | Relationship Advice - Spiritual Healing

Relationship Advice - Spiritual Healing

Michael Skowronski’s Relationship Advice, Spiritual Healing, Wisdom & Love Stories
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Archive for the ‘Forgiveness’


Judgment of Small Things Is a Big Deal

Judgement

I had a friend, who shall remain Anonymous, write the following letter to me in response to my blog What is Right or Wrong? Your Feelings are Your Guide!

“Hi: Right or wrong?… Somethings are really uncomplicated when it comes to that topic.. for example, if I took my time to send you and your wife a Valentine’s comment, it would had been RIGHT or proper for one of you to reciprocate and send one back or at least have the courtesy to acknowledge the receipt.. now, that was WRONG! Trust me your time is NOT more valuable than mine whatsoever! Preach… Walk the talk!”

(The rest of this blog has been removed…see details below. This is a VERY IMPORTANT topic in terms of living a happy and successful life or living in pain in missery…so do be sure to tap into my blogs.)


Click here to read the comments left by those that read the full blog. You will see that MANY people found a lot of help in the content of my blogs. Unfortunately I had to remove the content of most of my blogs for the reason stated further below.You can continue reading my blogs by joining my relationship healing group, the details of which you can find at http://RelationshipAdviceSite.com By joining my healing group you will get…

  • The Ultimate Guide to Relationship Healing a four hour Audio Program.
  • All of my blogs.
  • MANY hours of additional Audio programs.
  • Live Tele-Classes given by me where you will have the opportunity to ask your own specific questions.
  • Access to my coaching via email just like you have seen in my blogs on MySpace.

Why did I Remove my Blog Content from MySpace & gr8Wisdom.com?

 I spent more than a year doing free spiritual and relationship counseling on MySpace. If you review the comments on my blogs (which I have left intact for you to review) you can see that I have spent a great deal of time, covered a lot of topics, AND A LOT OF PEOPLE WERE HELPED BY MY ADVICE. I have really enjoyed it and thank all of you who have participated. Many of my friends have touched my heart very deeply. I love you all!

Unfortunately doing it for free has resulted in me not being able to write new blogs or serve as many people as I would like too. Doing it for free has caused me to maintain a fulltime job with not enough time to coach those people who want and need the help I have to offer. By charging for my services I will eventually be able to quit my job and do my spiritual counseling work full time.

My blogs really do contain all you need to know in order to live a healthy and happy life and the live coaching I offer in the healing group fills in the gaps. Please consider joining this group today. http://RelationshipAdviceSite.com

Love and Blessings,
Michael Skowronski
Author of Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story

image credits to mordecai

Popularity: 30% [?]

Is it Your Fault?

Is it Your Fault to Get Abused

Is it your fault that someone lied to you, abused you, cheated on you or disrespected you? Is it your fault when you are mistreated? Are you to blame?

 Unfortunately this is such a common belief that too many people hold when they are mistreated by someone else. For most of us as we grew up there were those who we trusted, those who were stronger than us, those who had more skills, those who were in charge of our lives, or those who were cool that gave us messages like, “It is your fault that I am blowing up on you. If you were smarter, prettier, paying more attention, if you did not do that thing you just did, bla bla bla…I would not be treating you like this.” Have any of us escaped the experience of someone else spewing their verbal abuse upon us?

When this happens to us at a young and impressionable age we tend to believe it. We develop all sorts of methods to cope. Some people rebel, get angry, abuse others, break some rule, or damage something. Other people hold it in, think they are at fault, and walk through life doubting themselves. No matter which way you react, the result is a person with low self-esteem.

A rebel who lashes out or who abuses others is just being arrogant. They may know they don’t deserve the ill treatment, they may be strong enough to express it, but they still have low self-esteem and they do not really love themselves…

 

(There WAS much more to this blog but it has been removed…
see details below)


Click here to read the comments left by those that read the full blog. You will see that MANY people found a lot of help in the content of my blogs. Unfortunately I had to remove the content of most of my blogs for the reason stated further below.You can continue reading my blogs by joining my relationship healing group, the details of which you can find at http://RelationshipAdviceSite.com By joining my healing group you will get…

  • The Ultimate Guide to Relationship Healing a four hour Audio Program.
  • All of my blogs.
  • MANY hours of additional Audio programs.
  • Live Tele-Classes given by me where you will have the opportunity to ask your own specific questions.
  • Access to my coaching via email just like you have seen in my blogs on MySpace.

Why did I Remove my Blog Content from MySpace & gr8Wisdom.com?

 I spent more than a year doing free spiritual and relationship counseling on MySpace. If you review the comments on my blogs (which I have left intact for you to review) you can see that I have spent a great deal of time, covered a lot of topics, AND A LOT OF PEOPLE WERE HELPED BY MY ADVICE. I have really enjoyed it and thank all of you who have participated. Many of my friends have touched my heart very deeply. I love you all!

Unfortunately doing it for free has resulted in me not being able to write new blogs or serve as many people as I would like too. Doing it for free has caused me to maintain a fulltime job with not enough time to coach those people who want and need the help I have to offer. By charging for my services I will eventually be able to quit my job and do my spiritual counseling work full time.

My blogs really do contain all you need to know in order to live a healthy and happy life and the live coaching I offer in the healing group fills in the gaps. Please consider joining this group today. http://RelationshipAdviceSite.com

Love and Blessings,
Michael Skowronski
Author of Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story

image credits to Federico Erra

Popularity: 15% [?]

Raped by My Father Every Night for Years

child abuseI have a friend I met on MySpace, one who I have been counseling and for a time had been doing better as a result of trying out the things I had suggested. I recently inquired about her wellbeing and she was again in a depressed state. Life can be tough and sometimes all the road blocks seem to be up when we feel like we are ready to move full steam ahead. I tried to comfort her and then she wrote this to me…

 

“Michael, I have tried to love my father and my mother too, but I cannot forget as easily as they have. My father began raping me at 8 years of age and he did it nearly every night. What kind of monster does such a thing to his little girl? And my mother chose my father over me and ignored what she knew was happening. Now my father tells me he has repented to God for his dirty deeds; he tells me he is going to heaven and he is forgiven and that I am going to hell because I have not accepted Jesus Christ as my personal savior. Like his shit don’t stink and mine does! When I try to talk to my mother she tries to make it better by saying, ‘Oh well I tried to get rid of you, but no, you wanted to live. So that was the life you got.’ Neither of my parents wants to talk to me anymore. What a joke! And you expect me to forgive these people!”

This was the first time I had heard this side of her story. She had other painful experiences, but this really felt bad to read. I know I am the one who is always telling people to focus on what feels good…but there are times you just have to deal with what is. For healing to occur you must focus, at least for a short time on painful experiences like this. No matter how evolved you are, no matter how enlightened you are, reading something like this hurts. I often cry when I get emails from my friends who are suffering. Although I know there is much more going on than meets the eye, this sort of thing really sucks.

So please don’t think I take everything so lightly. You probably won’t see me cry or feel depressed because I won’t allow myself to stay in such a place for very long, but I do take the time to understand what is going on with my friends and loved ones and I do feel the pain like everyone else does…

(This was truly a powerful blog…unfortunately the rest of this blog has been removed…see details below)

 


Click here to read the comments left by those that read the full blog. You will see that MANY people found a lot of help in the content of my blogs. Unfortunately I had to remove the content of most of my blogs for the reason stated further below.You can continue reading my blogs by joining my relationship healing group, the details of which you can find at http://RelationshipAdviceSite.com By joining my healing group you will get…

  • The Ultimate Guide to Relationship Healing a four hour Audio Program.
  • All of my blogs.
  • MANY hours of additional Audio programs.
  • Live Tele-Classes given by me where you will have the opportunity to ask your own specific questions.
  • Access to my coaching via email just like you have seen in my blogs on MySpace.

Why did I Remove my Blog Content from MySpace & gr8Wisdom.com?

 I spent more than a year doing free spiritual and relationship counseling on MySpace. If you review the comments on my blogs (which I have left intact for you to review) you can see that I have spent a great deal of time, covered a lot of topics, AND A LOT OF PEOPLE WERE HELPED BY MY ADVICE. I have really enjoyed it and thank all of you who have participated. Many of my friends have touched my heart very deeply. I love you all!

Unfortunately doing it for free has resulted in me not being able to write new blogs or serve as many people as I would like too. Doing it for free has caused me to maintain a fulltime job with not enough time to coach those people who want and need the help I have to offer. By charging for my services I will eventually be able to quit my job and do my spiritual counseling work full time.

My blogs really do contain all you need to know in order to live a healthy and happy life and the live coaching I offer in the healing group fills in the gaps. Please consider joining this group today. http://RelationshipAdviceSite.com

Love and Blessings,
Michael Skowronski
Author of Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story

image credits to Brian Curnel

Popularity: 19% [?]

The Honeymoon and the Truth about Eju

This is the latest part of the story with the following installments:

Part 1 - A Marriage Made in Heaven Part I, Part II

Part 2 - The Suicide and the Accident

A side story - The Elephants of India

The Kidnapping and the Wedding

The Kidnapping

The Couple Reunite

We spent our first honeymoon night in a room at the home-stay of Madhu and Sandhya. Had I know about the abduction of my brother-in-law I would not have brought Shyni there. Years later when I questioned Shyni about it, “Why didn’t you talk me into staying somewhere else? Why didn’t you tell me Sandhya participated in kidnapping Shyam?”

She replied, “There was no other place we could have stayed. Everyone in Kumily was jealous of me. If I would have tried to take you somewhere else you would have wanted to know why. I did not want you to know about the kidnapping so soon and you trusted Sandhya. I wanted you to trust me before I began telling you how horrible these people can be. You needed to experience it for yourself first.”

I was still quite naïve about people, much more than I thought at the time. But as the story will eventually show, I did learn a lesson in life that I really needed to learn. Shyni was right to wait and let me discover this truth for myself. It did teach me to trust her more too.

Shyni was quite ill on the evening of our wedding day. She came down with a high fever. I attributed it to her not sleeping much the night before and all of the stress of the wedding. I went to the nearby restaurant owned by our Egyptian and British friends and shared a bottle of wine with them while I waited for my takeaway order to be prepared. Shyni does not drink, never has and insists that she never will, so she was happy I had someone else to celebrate with.

Due to her illness we did not consummate our marriage that evening either. Shyni remained shy about nudity and she objected when I undressed in the bedroom rather than the privacy of bathroom. I just figured it was time for her to get used to a new style of living and a new culture. I did not want to set the tone of our marriage as one of being prudish.

I hired a car and driver to take us to Munnar the next day. It was a beautiful four hour drive through the Western Ghats Mountains. These mountains rise quickly, with deep narrow valleys and another steep rise only one to two kilometers away. They contain plenty of water falls, rivers and lakes and are quite lush and green.

The journey was spectacular and magical…especially with my beautiful bride at my side. We were finally free. We sat close, held hands, looked into each other’s eyes and kissed often. This was something we could not do since the time we met, except when we were in the privacy of our bed room. And even then Shyni was holding back and reserving her affection until after the temple wedding. But now she was much more open and free with me and I was loving it!

At one point in our long drive I said to Shyni, “It’s too bad we can’t take Eju to America with us.” Eju is Shyni’s nine year old nephew, the son of her sister. He is adorable and has an energy that is very similar to ours. I love children and Eju is very easy to love because
he is so affectionate and well behaved. Shyni replied, “Do you mean that? Do you really want to take Eju to the USA?” I said, “Yes, I can see how much he loves you and how much he will miss you when I take you away.”

Shyni then proceeded to tell me how she had adopted Eju as her own son at six months of age. “I first found out about Eju when he was four months old. I came home from nursing school after my first year exams were complete. My family had not even told me that Jessie was pregnant. There was so much shame because Gopal did not want to marry her. For two months they all argued about how much dowry money Gopal’s family would accept for the marriage to take place. My father was too poor and did not have any money to offer. All that he could promise was a one third share in our family home and land. This was not enough for Gopal or his family to accept. Poor Jessie, she loved Gopal and did not want to lose him and she was facing the reality of how people in our culture would treat her as an unwed mother. Neither Jessie nor Gopal was mature enough to be parents, they were like children themselves.

“Then one night Jessie called me to come and help her. I had to ride three hours by bus to get to her house. A lot of Gopal’s family was there, a few of the men were drunk. They were all fighting over the baby and threatening to kill it. One of the men took Eju from the bed and tried to throw him to the floor. I quickly jumped up and caught Eju and ran out of the house with him. It was dark, and wet, the ground was slippery. But I ran as fast as I could down the hill and hid in the dark to see if I was being followed. I had to hold Eju’s mouth closed so they could not hear him cry.

“I watched for awhile as they came out of the house to look for me. It was too dark and it took them a little while to get organized, so I ran to a neighbor’s house and knocked on the door. They let me in and I told them what was happening. They hid us and let us sleep there overnight. I got up and took Eju home with me by bus at five in the morning.

“I had to tell my father what happened. He was very upset but not surprised. Jessie came home a few days later. I took care of Eju during that time, even when Jessie was there. I spoke with my great grandmother Ellie and asked her what I should do. She told me to follow my heart. I told her my heart said to keep Eju and raise him as my own son. My wise old great granny told me that God would support me if I was really confirmed in my decision.

“After about a week Jessie went back to Gopal and I kept Eju. A few days later my father asked me when I was going to send Eju back to his parents and I told him I was never going to send him back. We had a very long talk about it and how it was that I would take care of this baby. My father was already financially stressed and did not want another mouth to feed.

“I transferred from my nursing school, which was four hours away by bus, to a school in Kumily (which is where the family home was) and I took Eju to school with me. I told people he was my baby and his father worked a long ways away. I got a job dancing in shows for resort guests to help feed my baby and pay the bills. My father and brother Shyam played music at the resort, so they also played the music while my Uncle Cebe and me danced in the traditional Kerala style. My mother watched Eju while we performed.”

I interrupted Shyni’s story to ask, “Wasn’t it difficult to go to school, study, take care of a child and dance every evening? How could you manage?”

“Oh, I was often very tired, but I loved my life. I always wanted to be a mother so it was easy to take care of Eju. I loved being with my father and brother while they played music. It was difficult but I just did what I had to do. I could not quit school; I needed to have life out of the poverty that was too common in India. So I put up with it all. Until my father died, that is when I quit dancing and went to Delhi to work. Then my whole family needed money and Delhi was the only place I could earn good pay.”

I was blown away and my eyes were filled with tears. “Wow Shyni, I did not realize. You could have told me that Eju was your son. I can love both of you.”

“I did not know how you would take it. I wasn’t sure if you would understand. I felt I could tell you later and it would be okay.” Shyni said with a little bit of worry in her voice.

“It is okay. I love you and I am happy that we can take him to the States with us…we will be able to take him won’t we? Did you legally adopt him?”

“No. But we can do that if you like.”

“We will probably have to adopt him in order to get him a visa. Will Gopal and Jessie allow this?”

“It will take some time, but I can convince them. Eju does not want them and they don’t really want him either. Eju was so sad on our wedding day. Did you notice? He cried when we were leaving because he thought you were taking me to the USA. He did not understand what a honeymoon was, he thought Honeymoon was a place.”

I felt so happy that it was I who married this woman and not some other foreigner who might have objected. There were so many things in my life, the big things, in complex ways, that always seemed to work out in just the perfect way. I felt like this was one more sign that our marriage was divinely orchestrated and that my new wife Shyni too was moving with the divine flow of life. “Call your mother as soon we get to our resort and tell them we are going to take Eju with us.”

We stopped a couple of times along the way to enjoy the spectacular views. The rivers and valleys and waterfalls were too beautiful to pass by at a quick pace. I held Shyni close as we stood and admired the views. I felt an even deeper sense of connection with her because we were becoming a family. When I was considering taking an Indian wife, I thought it would be nice to find a widow who already had children, because I love children and because I knew a woman with a child would have a harder time finding a husband. I could not imagine taking a wife as young as twenty four like so many of the girls I had met. I did like the idea of having a younger wife, but not at the expense of immaturity. I preferred to have a mature woman even if it meant an older wife. As I held Shyni in my arms I was filled with joy and amazement at how God took so many of my desires into account when he set us up. I got a beautiful young wife who was also a mature woman and a child, this was everything I wanted. And we were getting along very well.

When we arrived at our hotel in Munnar Shyni was again not feeling very well and I needed a walk to stretch my legs after our long drive. She was already used to my routine of taking a morning and evening walk alone so she seemed to be fine with me going for a walk before it got dark. When I returned from my walk however she was not as happy. The hotel staff had questioned her about what she was doing there with me. They wanted to see our wedding certificates, which she showed to them. The man running the hotel did not seem to be impressed but the other two women on the staff began treating Shyni better. I held Shyni in my arms to comfort her and caressed her hair.

Indians have very strange ideas about life and what is appropriate and inappropriate. Actually people in all cultures have this problem, but it is much easier to see it in another culture than it is in your own. However, if you live in a couple of different cultures for a few years, it becomes easy to see the silliness of your own culture as well. I highly recommend that people go and live in a couple of different foreign countries for a few years. It would dramatically help you in your efforts to change your inner programming. If we could only take about one third of the born and raised Americans and transplant them to various third world countries for three years I bet we would see a rapid and dramatic change for the better in the entire world within a few years time. It would change the perspective of so many people who could then be effective agents for worldwide changes.

Shyni had also phoned Chechi (her mother) while I was gone. Chechi was happy to hear from us so soon on our journey. And Eju was very happy to hear about our ideas to take him to the States with us. They were also relieved that I was letting Shyni continue her communication with her family. They wondered how long it would be before they heard from Shyni.

We had a romantic dinner alone together for the first time since I have known Shyni. It was just the two of us, without family, indeed there were no other guests in the dining room at the time we were there. We talked a lot about our lives and our hopes and dreams for our future together and Shyni told me more about the troubles she had protecting Eju from harm.

“After I had been caring for Eju for two months, the president of Gopal’s community called me and she asked me to come to Gopal’s house for a meeting. When I arrived with Eju, Gopal’s cousin Sanu was there along with Gopal, Jessie and this community woman. She talked with us all and told Gopal that he had to pay some money to me for taking care of his baby. Sanu got very angry and picked up a chair, raising it over his head, to smash me with it while I was holding Eju. The community president was a big woman and she caught the chair and stopped him from hitting me. I ran for the door but Sanu caught me and began choking me to try to get me to drop Eju. I nearly passed out but I didn’t drop him so Sanu pushed me out the door. Both Eju and I fell onto the cement porch and got scratched up pretty badly. Gopal just sat there in silence; he said nothing.”

“Oh my God! What did you do?”

“I went back home and never took Eju back there again. But that is not all…Four months later Gopal’s mother and step-father came to visit us. She was being nice and wanted to hold the baby so I let her and I went to the toilet. My mother was there with them so I thought it would be okay. When I came back Gopal’s mother was gone. She had only been at the house for a very short time. I asked Chechi what had happened and she told me Eju’s grandmother gave him some biscuits and then they said they had to go. Very soon Eju started looking sick so we rushed him to the hospital.”

I was in shock. I could hardly believe what I was hearing. “Did they poison him?”

“Yes, Gopal’s mother poisoned Eju.”

“Did they pump out his stomach? Did the test it for poison?”

“Yes, we did have his stomach pumped and they did find that there was poison in the biscuits. They tried to kill him.”

I sat there for a moment with my mind reeling, How could anyone do something like that to a baby? Especially when someone else was taking care of it and not asking for anything. I was feeling mixed emotions. I was very proud that I had such a strong woman as Shyni as my wife and at the same time in shock at how sick some people could be. “Did you go to the police? Did you tell them what had happened?”

“No, we did not want any more trouble from these people. I called Gopal and told him to never come to our house again. I told him to tell the rest of his family to stay away or we would call the police.”

“Did that work, did they stay away?”

“They stayed away until Eju was nearly five. Then Gopal came by with a friend of his. Eju met Gopal at the door and called me. I asked Eju who it was and he said he didn’t know. When I came to the door Gopal had tears in his eyes. I told him I did not want his tears or his drama and sent him away.

“Many months later Gopal came back again. Jessie was staying with us at the time. He said he wanted his wife and child back. My father told me I had no legal right to keep Eju so I should send him back to his father.”

“Oh my God! What did you do?”

“I had to send him back. But I went with them. After two days I could see that Gopal was not acting like a father. He gave no love to Eju. He did not pick Eju up or play with him or hug and kiss him. And Jessie too began ignoring Eju again. So I took Eju with me and left.”

“How long was Jessie living with you at your house?”

“On and off for a year and a half. The longest she stayed with us was eight months.”

“Wow Shyni, you are a strong woman. You don’t ever have to worry about having that kind of drama with me. I will take good care of both you and Eju. Will they give us any trouble adopting him?”

“I can manage them. It will take some time. But we will get the legal papers.”

“After your father died, what did you do with Eju then? That is when you went to Delhi to work as a nurse right?”

“I couldn’t take Eju with me. It would have been too difficult. I had to learn a new language and learn my way around Delhi. I could not trust anybody in a strange city to take care of Eju while I was at work. So my mother took care of Eju while I was gone. I was making good money and saved most of it to send home to take care of the bills my father left behind and to feed my family. I took the train back home a couple of times each year to visit.”

Shyni’s story had me in tears. I was very impressed with Shyni and so thankful that I could be there to help make the rest of her life easier. We enjoyed our dinner together and then went back to our room. Shyni still had a fever and wanted to go to sleep early so we did.

I made no moves to have sex with her because she was still ill. But while we were lying in bed cuddling Shyni told me she was ready and wanted to make love so we did. It was awkward for us at first; more awkward than any other sexual experience I had in the past, but it was the start. It took many months for us to become totally comfortable with our sexual experience together. She had a lot to learn, and I learned some new things too.

Now I can honestly say that Shyni is the best sexual partner I have ever had. Although there are many reasons for this, I believe one of the biggest reasons is that we are both totally committed without any thought or desire for anyone else. That is not something I can say about my past relationships. In the past there was always a desire in the back of my mind for other sexual experiences with other women. In my younger years I thought it was natural and normal for a young man to have strong sexual urges and desire for multiple sexual partners. Now I am certain that energy tainted my past relationships and made them less than they could have been. By the time I had married Shyni too much had happened in my life, good times and painful times, things that got me ready for this woman and the commitment she had to be totally faithful to her husband. So faithful that she waited thirty years without sharing so much as a kiss with another man. I don’t mean this to be critical in any way of anybody else; I am just presenting our experience.

We thoroughly enjoyed the rest of our honeymoon together, but there were some challenges. We stayed two nights at this hotel which was higher up in the mountains than the village of Munnar. There was a lake and dam and tea plantations to explore. We stayed two more nights in the village of Munnar where Shyni was very ill and we had to call a doctor to our home-stay room to examin her and give her medication. While there we enjoyed a paddle boat ride on a river; I did all of the peddling since Shyni was not feeling well. Then we went down to a village called Kumarakom near the coast, not too far from Cochin. Shyni felt much better there because the climate was hot. Munnar was five thousand feet high and quite cold at night, and even cool during the day. We stayed three nights in a home-stay right on a canal and took a motor boat cruise of the canals while we were there. We also drove around and enjoyed all of the beautiful natural sights of the area.

Shyni stayed in touch with her family the whole time we were on our honeymoon. While we were in Kumarakom she got the disturbing news that Gopal had beat his wife Jessie. Because of that, and because I wanted to get back to work writing my book Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story, we cut our honeymoon short by a few days. We had one more costal city we were going to visit but decided to return to Kumily instead.

Karma Changes People

Because I have reported some pretty horrible things about Shyni’s relatives in this story I wish to balance it out by saying something else about these people. It is nearly three years later and during this time Life has had quite an impact on them. Jessie and Gopal have stayed with us for many days and nights on many occasions. We did legally adopt Eju and their second child Geethu has also come under our care. Geethu wants us to adopt her too and Jessie and Gopal have consented. Jessie is not without fault in their fights; indeed she has a very big mouth, can be quite mean, and does not know when to shut up. She talks constantly, and I do mean constantly. Once my brother pulled the circuit breaker in our house so Jessie would think we had a power outage and go to sleep. It worked and she stopped talking.

Jessie and Gopal are getting along a lot better now as a result of so many things, including the influence that Shyni and I have had on them. Shyni’s mother Chechi is taking care of the kids since we have no visa’s for them yet. Jessie and Gopal are helping out and have become very responsible. The kids deny that Jessie and Gopal are their parents, treats them like servants, insults them any time they screw up, and tries to show them the correct way to care for children. Otherwise both kids are strong loving and competent beings. Eju has won a few singing competitions and at age twelve has become quite the entrepreneur starting a few of his own side businesses. Geethu has been the top student of her class in both kindergarten and first grades. I keep telling Shyni to talk to the kids about respecting their birth parents, but we don’t have that much control from here. I don’t speak their language yet and the kid’s English is not real good either. So Jessie and Gopal are being given some very hard lessons and they are changing.

The second husband of Gopal’s mother died recently and her stepchildren kicked her out of her husband’s home. This is the woman who poisoned Eju as a baby. Gopal’s father, which is her first husband, lives with Jessie and Gopal and will not have her back. So Gopal can’t care for his own mother who faces being homeless. She is not homeless however, because she is now living with Shyni’s mother Chechi, Eju and Geethu. Eju is loving his grandmother who tried to kill him early in his life. She has to live with what she did on a daily basis. Her vial deeds were returned with love.

It is funny how Eju’s life and existence has influenced these people who were so desperate for money when he was born and so ready to kill him because they thought he would be a burden in their lives. When Eju was two years old he played Tabla with his grandfather at the Spice Village Resort and earned Rs. 100 for his performance, a day’s wage for an Indian man. Just the other day the family needed food yet Chechi and Gopal both were out of money. We normally give them money but the ATM card they were using was stolen and the new one has not yet arrived. So twelve year old Eju told Chechi that he would go and do some work so they could eat. He went out and returned only a couple of hours later with Rs. 600 (for installing a home theater); this is a week’s wage for an Indian man. They all ate that evening and for many more days because of the baby they wanted to kill. Life has its ways of teaching us what we need to learn.

Stay tuned for the next installment – Stranded in India

Love and Blessings,
Michael Skowronski
Author of Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story

P.S. If you like this story and my other blogs then you will love my book. Please help us out by reading Unforgettable and telling your friends about it. You can purchase an autographed copy directly from my website or you can also find it on Amazon.com as well as BarnesAndNoble.com.

Popularity: 30% [?]

The Secret to Creating Lasting Romance

How to Make Romance LastAhhh romance that elusive experience that comes and goes. When we have it we think it will last forever, when we dont we worry that it will never come again. It is an experience that so many crave yet have had so little of in their lives.

True romance feels good. It should not frighten you. If it does not feel good to you then you are confusing romance with all the bad things that happens in dysfunctional relationships.

Do you remember how good it feels when you begin falling in love with someone? The intensity of these good feelings come from our connection with our Source, from many spiritual beings, including our own Inner Being, radiating their enthusiasm and excitement that we have found our hearts desire. This is why they are so powerful…

(There WAS much more to this blog but it has been removed…
see details below)


Click here to read the comments left by those that read the full blog. You will see that MANY people found a lot of help in the content of my blogs. Unfortunately I had to remove the content of most of my blogs for the reason stated further below.You can continue reading my blogs by joining my relationship healing group, the details of which you can find at http://RelationshipAdviceSite.com By joining my healing group you will get…

  • The Ultimate Guide to Relationship Healing a four hour Audio Program.
  • All of my blogs.
  • MANY hours of additional Audio programs.
  • Live Tele-Classes given by me where you will have the opportunity to ask your own specific questions.
  • Access to my coaching via email just like you have seen in my blogs on MySpace.

Why did I Remove my Blog Content from MySpace & gr8Wisdom.com?

 I spent more than a year doing free spiritual and relationship counseling on MySpace. If you review the comments on my blogs (which I have left intact for you to review) you can see that I have spent a great deal of time, covered a lot of topics, AND A LOT OF PEOPLE WERE HELPED BY MY ADVICE. I have really enjoyed it and thank all of you who have participated. Many of my friends have touched my heart very deeply. I love you all!

Unfortunately doing it for free has resulted in me not being able to write new blogs or serve as many people as I would like too. Doing it for free has caused me to maintain a fulltime job with not enough time to coach those people who want and need the help I have to offer. By charging for my services I will eventually be able to quit my job and do my spiritual counseling work full time.

My blogs really do contain all you need to know in order to live a healthy and happy life and the live coaching I offer in the healing group fills in the gaps. Please consider joining this group today. http://RelationshipAdviceSite.com

Love and Blessings,
Michael Skowronski
Author of Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story

Popularity: 17% [?]

Crime and Punishment - Both are Insane!

Crime and PunishmentBoth crime and punishment are insane. To believe that you will get what you want by taking it from another, to believe that doing harm to another will serve you in some way, both are insane ideas. Anyone who is observing life clearly understands the insanity behind either approach to life. One popular definition of insanity states that to continue doing the same thing and expecting different results is insane. And it is. There is a feeling of frustration that goes along with insanity, which often causes anger and violence, or at least the thoughts to commit violent acts. Insanity is a lack of understanding of how life works, which plays out in the actions of the insane person. An insane person thinks or does certain things which give them results they do not want.

Consider the idea of punishing someone as our society does, locking them up in jail or prison for a long period of time. This is inhumane, this is torture, and in most cases patently unfair. The punishment is usually far more severe than the criminal act. The reason the severity seems necessary, is because punishment is such a poor way to get someone to change their behaviors, that we must go to great extremes for it to have any effect at all.

Punishment does harm to the individual who is already insane. If they committed a true crime, they are by definition insane. How will torturing someone like this alleviate their insanity? How do we expect their behavior to improve once released? What new lessons will that person have learned? In prison as they currently are, they will have become more skilled criminals. Locked up with others whose life skills consist of harming others, what else is there to learn? By being abused and neglected by those who watch over the prisoners what life lessons are learned?

(There WAS much more to this blog but it has been removed…
see details below)


Click here to read the comments left by those that read the full blog. You will see that MANY people found a lot of help in the content of my blogs. Unfortunately I had to remove the content of most of my blogs for the reason stated further below.You can continue reading my blogs by joining my relationship healing group, the details of which you can find at http://RelationshipAdviceSite.com By joining my healing group you will get…

  • The Ultimate Guide to Relationship Healing a four hour Audio Program.
  • All of my blogs.
  • MANY hours of additional Audio programs.
  • Live Tele-Classes given by me where you will have the opportunity to ask your own specific questions.
  • Access to my coaching via email just like you have seen in my blogs on MySpace.

Why did I Remove my Blog Content from MySpace & gr8Wisdom.com?

 I spent more than a year doing free spiritual and relationship counseling on MySpace. If you review the comments on my blogs (which I have left intact for you to review) you can see that I have spent a great deal of time, covered a lot of topics, AND A LOT OF PEOPLE WERE HELPED BY MY ADVICE. I have really enjoyed it and thank all of you who have participated. Many of my friends have touched my heart very deeply. I love you all!

Unfortunately doing it for free has resulted in me not being able to write new blogs or serve as many people as I would like too. Doing it for free has caused me to maintain a fulltime job with not enough time to coach those people who want and need the help I have to offer. By charging for my services I will eventually be able to quit my job and do my spiritual counseling work full time.

My blogs really do contain all you need to know in order to live a healthy and happy life and the live coaching I offer in the healing group fills in the gaps. Please consider joining this group today. http://RelationshipAdviceSite.com

Love and Blessings,
Michael Skowronski
Author of Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story

Popularity: 36% [?]

Drug Addicts, Prostitutes, Child Molesters, Liars & Cheaters - are They the Scum of the Earth?

Scum of the Earth

Where are you going in your life? Are you seeking heaven or hell?

If you are seeking hell, then judgment such as the title of this article will take you there quicker than the actions of those in the title. Wait now, don’t close off and run away…even if you differ in opinion, and you have a right to, for your sake read this full article and take it all in. Then experiment in your own life with these ideas and in time you will discover the truth. Are you willing to discover truth and move beyond belief?

If you are seeking heaven, if you are seeking a peaceful life, if you want to make this planet a safe place for our children to grow up in and play, then this article will show you how to create that in a very practical way.

First let’s get this point straight…Judgment, Hatred and Anger will take you to hell faster than anything I know of. Believe me I speak from personal experience. I have been working through these issues for many years now. I have made great progress and most people that really know me consider me quite advanced in how I handle difficult situations when compared to the majority of people in the world…

(There WAS much more to this blog but it has been removed…
see details below)


Click here to read the comments left by those that read the full blog. You will see that MANY people found a lot of help in the content of my blogs. Unfortunately I had to remove the content of most of my blogs for the reason stated further below.You can continue reading my blogs by joining my relationship healing group, the details of which you can find at http://RelationshipAdviceSite.com By joining my healing group you will get…

  • The Ultimate Guide to Relationship Healing a four hour Audio Program.
  • All of my blogs.
  • MANY hours of additional Audio programs.
  • Live Tele-Classes given by me where you will have the opportunity to ask your own specific questions.
  • Access to my coaching via email just like you have seen in my blogs on MySpace.

Why did I Remove my Blog Content from MySpace & gr8Wisdom.com?

 I spent more than a year doing free spiritual and relationship counseling on MySpace. If you review the comments on my blogs (which I have left intact for you to review) you can see that I have spent a great deal of time, covered a lot of topics, AND A LOT OF PEOPLE WERE HELPED BY MY ADVICE. I have really enjoyed it and thank all of you who have participated. Many of my friends have touched my heart very deeply. I love you all!

Unfortunately doing it for free has resulted in me not being able to write new blogs or serve as many people as I would like too. Doing it for free has caused me to maintain a fulltime job with not enough time to coach those people who want and need the help I have to offer. By charging for my services I will eventually be able to quit my job and do my spiritual counseling work full time.

My blogs really do contain all you need to know in order to live a healthy and happy life and the live coaching I offer in the healing group fills in the gaps. Please consider joining this group today. http://RelationshipAdviceSite.com

Love and Blessings,
Michael Skowronski
Author of Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story

Popularity: 29% [?]

Relationship Breakups - How to Cope

Heart BreaksNo matter how you slice it, relationship breakups are difficult to cope with. For those whose relationships are suffering from problems you may find this relationship advice challenging to say the least, especially if you are/were in a committed love relationship. But stay open and read it all so that you don’t take something I write out of context. Believe me I have had plenty of experiences with relationship problems and breakups, and plenty of experience with finding peace and happiness in the midst of it. If I can do it, so can you!

One of the first things that a person needs to consider is the question, “What am I expecting from my relationships?” I know for me, when I was younger and less mature, I expected love, support, and on a deeper unconscious level…validation! But the problem with those expectations is that no one else can really give you those things.

(There WAS much more to this blog but it has been removed…
see details below)


Click here to read the comments left by those that read the full blog. You will see that MANY people found a lot of help in the content of my blogs. Unfortunately I had to remove the content of most of my blogs for the reason stated further below.You can continue reading my blogs by joining my relationship healing group, the details of which you can find at http://RelationshipAdviceSite.com By joining my healing group you will get…

  • The Ultimate Guide to Relationship Healing a four hour Audio Program.
  • All of my blogs.
  • MANY hours of additional Audio programs.
  • Live Tele-Classes given by me where you will have the opportunity to ask your own specific questions.
  • Access to my coaching via email just like you have seen in my blogs on MySpace.

Why did I Remove my Blog Content from MySpace & gr8Wisdom.com?

 I spent more than a year doing free spiritual and relationship counseling on MySpace. If you review the comments on my blogs (which I have left intact for you to review) you can see that I have spent a great deal of time, covered a lot of topics, AND A LOT OF PEOPLE WERE HELPED BY MY ADVICE. I have really enjoyed it and thank all of you who have participated. Many of my friends have touched my heart very deeply. I love you all!

Unfortunately doing it for free has resulted in me not being able to write new blogs or serve as many people as I would like too. Doing it for free has caused me to maintain a fulltime job with not enough time to coach those people who want and need the help I have to offer. By charging for my services I will eventually be able to quit my job and do my spiritual counseling work full time.

My blogs really do contain all you need to know in order to live a healthy and happy life and the live coaching I offer in the healing group fills in the gaps. Please consider joining this group today. http://RelationshipAdviceSite.com

Love and Blessings,
Michael Skowronski
Author of Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story

Popularity: 24% [?]

Road Rage

This is the part 2 of my blog Reprogramming Yourself.

It happened one day while I was living in the state of Kerala, South India…

I have ideas of what a safe and considerate driver should be based upon my experiences in America and Australia. Indians do not drive like I would like. When I first arrived in India I liked the freedom from over-regulation that Indians enjoy, but too many drivers drive very dangerously or without consideration of anyone else on the road. Coming only inches from being hit by a driver who is traveling in the opposite direction at very high speeds are common occurrences. Having someone cut a turn right in front of you with no time to stop is a common occurrence. People walking in the street, with no regard for their own safety, animals, large rocks, other objects and large potholes, all add to the stress of driving in India.

road rage - anger management

I took my wife for a doctor’s appointment in Kottayam, which was a three hour drive from our home in Kumily; we left at 6 am. This was a trip we made every week for many weeks. I had plenty of time to build up some habits of judgmental, angry and hateful thoughts; Law of Attraction had plenty of time to deliver me experiences that matched my thoughts.

On this particular drive back home I had three different drivers deliberately move into my way for no reason while I was trying to pass them. They were going slower than I wanted to go; I drive a safe but brisk speed. I had signaled with my horn as usual. They responded by moving into the middle of the road preventing me from passing them. There was no apparent reason for doing this. There were no blockages on their side of the road, these incidences did not occur at curves, and there were no oncoming vehicles. What I was trying to do was usual and expected driving behavior there in India. I believed they were blocking me on purpose and I got quite angry. I began accumulating these offenses and thinking about pulling one of them over, yanking them out of their car, and beating them in the street. I spent a fair amount of time thinking these kinds of thoughts, never really intending to do so. On top of this I was also accumulating judgment about all of the other oncoming busses, trucks and even cars that were driving in my lane when there was plenty of room in their own lane. The anger in me built up.

Then it happened…I was passing a bus in a very safe manor on wide open road. I had nearly gotten past the bus when I heard it lightly hit the left rear bumper of my car. I flew into a mad rage. If I had thought about it I would have known he did no damage to my car. He did not affect my course of driving at all. But all of that built up emotion enraged me. Somehow I grabbed the parking brake lever and pulled it up. I never use that, except for parking and starting out on a hill. I don’t know why I pulled on it. That type of break locks into place. You have to push a button to release it. Because of the speed we were driving and not really understanding what I had just done I did not have the presence of mind to release the break. This caused me to spin my car and land on the side of the road in tall grass and weeds up against a hillside.

I got out of the car in a furious rage. I went to the bus driver’s window, climbed up, reached in and smacked him on the face. I didn’t slap him very hard, but it was insulting. Then I broke one of his windshield wipers off and threw it in the street. He got off the bus and I threatened to beat him. About twenty other men got off the bus and they were all threatening to beat me. I am sure they did not even know that the bus driver hit me. All they knew was that I spun my car and then smacked the driver for it and then continued to abuse him verbally. It was really crazy. Eventually my wife Shyni got me to calm down and we left. Thank God there was no real damage to our car or to us.

I felt justified in my mind that their actions were wrong and that my ideas about driving were right. Until this event occurred. After that I realized that God was prodding me through that bus driver and all of the other drivers too. It became very clear because the bus driver really did nothing to me, nor did the other drivers. My desire to police Indian drives attracted the worst drivers into my path. My judgmental thinking made me slap a man, which is something I just don’t do. My anger nearly killed Shyni and me when I spun our car, and nearly got me beaten by a mob of angry men from the bus.

In my life I have learned, more than once, and in more than one way, that if I expect the world to change, or even any single person or event to change, because I did not like it or because “I was right and they were wrong” that I would make myself miserable. Unless I catch each thought of judgment and criticism and change them, then those thoughts would slowly build up and eventually flare up in anger at some specific person or event that probably did not even deserve the anger that was heaped upon them.

It is a big job, but we must watch each and every thought and change the ones that do not serve us. But how do we do this? What are the practices that help us to change our habits of thinking? How do we know what changes we really need to make?

The answers to these questions are what I have been seeking and experimenting with for many years now. In this particular situation I knew from experience what I needed to do and I immediately made the necessary changes. I could make the correct changes immediately and effectively because I had proper guidance from my teachers and I had much practice in this art of personal transformation.

The Miracle

What I did worked and very powerfully so…I made at least ten more long distance drives like that in India since that incident. Each time I was able to maintain my new practice. AND the outer world changed as a result of my new practice.

I am sure those same crappy drivers were still on the road doing their same dangerous and stupid things, but not while I was around. I only encountered drivers when their behavior was good. The drivers in my path were polite and courteous. The drivers I shared the road with were safe and operating sanely.

The real world changed as a result of changing my mind. This change persisted in every single drive I made since that time, which was many. The difference in driving experiences was so remarkable that every family member who rode in the car with me has noticed. Certainly they noticed how much calmer I was, but more than that they noticed that the outer world changed too.

Making that change in myself had a ripple effect in my psyche. I now calm down much quicker in other situations where anger is rising in me even if I feel justified in my perspective on a situation. We shall see what else Life has to reveal to me and in what other ways anger might try to find expression in my life, but for now I know a dramatic change has taken place within me and it is a welcome one.

One by one, piece by piece, we whittle away at our unwanted personality traits and develop new ones that serve us in ever more powerful ways.

(There WAS much more to this blog but it has been removed…
see details below)


Click here to read the comments left by those that read the full blog. You will see that MANY people found a lot of help in the content of my blogs. Unfortunately I had to remove the content of most of my blogs for the reason stated further below.You can continue reading my blogs by joining my relationship healing group, the details of which you can find at http://RelationshipAdviceSite.com By joining my healing group you will get…

  • The Ultimate Guide to Relationship Healing a four hour Audio Program.
  • All of my blogs.
  • MANY hours of additional Audio programs.
  • Live Tele-Classes given by me where you will have the opportunity to ask your own specific questions.
  • Access to my coaching via email just like you have seen in my blogs on MySpace.

Why did I Remove my Blog Content from MySpace & gr8Wisdom.com?

 I spent more than a year doing free spiritual and relationship counseling on MySpace. If you review the comments on my blogs (which I have left intact for you to review) you can see that I have spent a great deal of time, covered a lot of topics, AND A LOT OF PEOPLE WERE HELPED BY MY ADVICE. I have really enjoyed it and thank all of you who have participated. Many of my friends have touched my heart very deeply. I love you all!

Unfortunately doing it for free has resulted in me not being able to write new blogs or serve as many people as I would like too. Doing it for free has caused me to maintain a fulltime job with not enough time to coach those people who want and need the help I have to offer. By charging for my services I will eventually be able to quit my job and do my spiritual counseling work full time.

My blogs really do contain all you need to know in order to live a healthy and happy life and the live coaching I offer in the healing group fills in the gaps. Please consider joining this group today. http://RelationshipAdviceSite.com

Love and Blessings,
Michael Skowronski
Author of Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story


Popularity: 15% [?]

The Kidnapping

Spiritual Growth and Love Story - Kidnapping and WeddingThis is the second part of The Kidnapping and The Wedding story

A few hours later Shyni’s brother Shyam and his friend Chellopan were walking into Kumily town. Mohammad came upon them in an auto-rickshaw, stopped them and told them to get in. They refused but said they would walk to the Sandhya’s home-stay. Once Shyam and Chellopan arrived they were asked to go upstairs to a vacant room for a talk. They were told guests were coming and they did not want to be disturbed. Reluctantly Shyam and Chellopan agreed, so they could keep these marriage matters private.

Once upstairs and inside of the room it was locked and Mohammad and Sandhya interrogated them for four hours. Of course Shyam and Chellopan objected, but Mohammad was a large man and they were both afraid of him. The questions were more about the marriage than the motorbike. Mohammad asked insulting things like, “Are you a salesman selling your sister?”

Shyam’s reply was, “They have already married, so there is nothing you can do about it.”

Then Sandhya told Shyam, “Your sister has used this very room to have sex with many men.” But when Shyam inquired about when this had occurred, the dates he was given was the same time that Shyni had been working in Delhi. Interestingly enough there were a couple of times where Mohammad sat next to Sandhya and instinctively placed his hand on her lap, and then realized what he was doing and removed it. They seemed to display an intimacy that should not have been there, especially in India. Shyam felt quite convinced that they were having an affair.

Mohammad twisted Shyam’s wrist behind his back and tried to make him tell more, but Shyam refused. Mohammad also picked up a chair and threatened to beat Shyam, but never followed through. Shyam was in tears a few times, but he gave out very little information.

Shyni told me nothing of this incident until at two years later. Actually it was abduction rather than a kidnapping since they never asked for a ransom. But kidnapping was the term Shyni used when she finally told me about it more than a year later so I have always referred to it that way. Both Shyam and Chellopan were released without any real physical harm being done to them. But their pride was hurt and they were scared. Shyam went to stay with friends in Kottayam for a few days until he got over it.

Continue Reading - The Couple Reunite

Popularity: 15% [?]