Unforgettable Love Story

I would ask those of you who have seen the Golden Compass and liked it to read this blog since you are the audience I especially want to reach. I am sure that you have a heart, would like to see a world in peace, and would like to see a world absent of suffering due to poverty and corrupt governments.

This movie had a lot of controversy. Primarily it seemed to be Christians who objected to it due to some sort of satanic influence of demons and witchcraft and psychic phenomenon. Perhaps there were other objections, even those along the lines I will shortly state, but on MySpace they were drowned out by the Christians and anti-Christians bashing each other over conflicting philosophies.

I saw the preview online and was immediately turned off by the violence of the film. I decided against seeing it. But I continued to read comments posted about the film, some of which were by my friends on MySpace in favor of the film. So I decided that I should have an open mind, see the film in its entirety and then come to my own conclusions.

I thoroughly enjoyed the first half of the Golden Compass. I loved the idea of an alternative world where every human has an empathetic animal, which the writers of the film called “demons”. I expect if they were called “angels” there would have been far less Christians objections. It is sad really, that people can’t get past their labels and form their opinions based on the true nature of that which is being labeled because these demons were more like angels than demons. They reflected the state of mind and feeling of the human and vice versa. If the human suffered from a wound or was killed so did the demons suffer the same fate. If the demons were hurt in anyway the human suffered in the same way. People in our reality have become far too numb to their own suffering. Having such a demon might just be a good way for them to notice how much they really are suffering and prompt them to do something about changing it. We’ve learned to ignore our feelings too well.

It was the violence in this film that causes me to call The Golden Compass “a waste of mind.” All of the wonderful creativity of this alternative world was used to suck us into yet another violent film. Now I do understand that this world does indeed contain violence. To reflect it properly, there must be some level of it in our art, including films. But that is not what happens in films like this. What is happening is people who consider themselves good and righteous and loving and caring, consider this to be good violence. The bad guys are getting what they deserve. It is portrayed as the good fight. This “good fight” makes up far too much of the theme of the film and the alternative ways of changing the world are not even presented.

These types of films do great harm to the minds of the masses of the people in the world. They create in us a certain level of acceptability of the idea that violence is an effective tool for change in the world, when it is not that at all. To end violence, we must end violence. Period. We cannot end violence by using violence to do it. We cannot end corruption by enthusiastically engaging in the corruption of the film industry either. The hour and a half we spend watching such a film digs deep ruts in our minds which cause us to accept this idea and causes us to continue to act in violent ways to what we perceive as the villains in our lives. It causes us to believe in an us vs. them sort of perspective on life. There is no us and there is no them…we are all One!

Now I know there are plenty of people who are reading this and rolling their eyes, and it is you I wish to address here with these questions… What do you really know and understand about life? How much do you pay attention to the events that occur in your life and the thoughts you think? Do you own the negative events that are occurring in your life or do you blame them on someone or something else? How capable of loving others are you? How needy are you? What kind of impact do you have on others, is it positive or negative?

I have been paying attention to life and have come to understand it very well, especially the relationship between our thoughts and how it affects both our own inner experience and the events in the outer world. I know for a fact that we cannot create peace while focusing on violence and war. Watching such films is a focus on war. It carries over beyond the time span of the film. It enters our conversations with others. It forms our beliefs and opinions about life. And these thoughts do create the reality we live in. To continue to accept such films in our lives is to continue to accept war in our lives. We must reject them and encourage others to reject them too. I am NOT talking about legal bans on such films, I am talking about recognizing what they are doing to us and choosing to NOT watch them.

I would like to present the following as a concrete real life example of what I am writing about. I had a friend who responded to my blog titled Crime and Punishment…Both are Insane! She complained that her son was murdered and that she wished she had requested the death sentence for the perpetrators of the crime, as if that would have made up for the bullshit she went through with the court system and for the pain and suffering she felt at the loss of her son. When I looked at her profile I found out that her favorite TV programs, books and movies were about crime and punishment, they were murder mysteries. Here is an obvious point of attraction to the life she is living. I am not trying to say that everyone who engages in such entertainments will have murder enter their lives, but I am saying the suffering she is going through is exaggerated and prolonged by such entertainments. And this woman is quite ready to prolong the suffering of humanity by insisting that those who really need mental help receive abusive punishment instead. How is this different than the retaliation so common amongst terrorists?

We need to create and expand the market for a totally different kind of film. We need to ask for films that enlighten and empower us. We need to be inspired, uplifted, and educated by the entertainments we give our time and money to. We need to actively promote movies and other forms of art that take our thoughts in the direction we say we want our lives to go.

I am presenting here a very large list of films that you can rent on DVD that will inspire and uplift you. If you have not already developed a taste for such films, I encourage you to do so. For some this may be a difficult thing to do, since you like the feeling of the bad guy getting his ass kicked and have become addicted to films such as the Golden Compass. But I assure you that you can develop a new taste in movies and that it would greatly improve the quality of your life to do so. These are the sorts of films that will cause you to think differently and come up with creative ideas that can rid this planet of man’s inhumanity towards man.

The “Planet Earth” series and other nature documentaries can fill your mind with beauty and start you thinking about how amazing life really is.

“Amazing Grace” is a true story of how a British MP (Member of Parliament) was able to outlaw the slave trade. Some disturbing scenes are in it, but overall it is hopeful and shows what a few dedicated people can do, and also shows that big changes take time and persistence.

“The Ultimate Gift” an EXCELENT story of a spoilt rich young man who is transformed by the death of grandfather and the “gift” he left behind.

“Powder” although it is not a true story, in many ways it does show the kind of thinking and power that a person can attain to. Many masters had the sort of insight and compassion this boy had and even had their own amazing miracles…the miracles in “Powder” are a bit contrived however and some of them are useless.

“Michael” with John Trivolta. “Danny Deckchair” very funny, a good taste of Australia, romance. “Radio” a true story that is inspiring. “The Future We Will Create: Inside the World of TED” very inspiring! And check out the videos on TED.com…AWESOME! “First Do No Harm” inspiring true story of overcoming epilepsy. “The Elegant Universe” documentary series. “I am Sam” touching film about a retarded man raising a daughter. “Gandhi” very inspiring what a man on a mission can do. “The Color Purple” a woman overcomes being suppressed and mistreated by abusive husband. “End of the Spear” & “Beyond the Gates of Splendor” about the Waodani tribe of South America and how they overcame their violent nature. “The Simple Life of Noah Dearborn” inspiring story about a wise black man. “The Notebook” touching story of elderly care. “I Am David” inspiring story of the courage a young boy faces in war torn Europe. “The Brooke Ellison Story” true story of paraplegic girl who graduate summa cum laude from Harvard University (produced or directed by Christopher Reeve). “Emmanuel’s Gift” (produced by Oprah) a true story about a very powerful young disabled African man who transformed his nation’s ideas and government policies about the disabled. “Coach Carter” (a true story I believe) about a great teacher and basketball coach who transforms his students.

“Remember the Titans”, “Something the Lord Made”, “Just Like Heaven”, “Love’s Enduring Promise”, “1 Giant Leap”, “Life of Buddha”, “Experiencing the Soul: Before Birth, During Life, After Death”, “Indigo”, “Dalai Lama: The Soul of Tibet”, “Bend It Like Beckham”, “The War”, “Shall We Dance?”, “The Man in the Moon”, “Something’s Gotta Give”, “Philadelphia”, “Mona Lisa Smile”, “Steel Magnolias”, “Terms of Endearment”, “The Evening Star”, “The Other Sister”, “Origins: Nova”, “Unfolding Universe”, “World Almanac Video: The Expanding Universe”, “Magnetic Storm: Nova”, “If We Had No Moon”, “Marvin’s Room”, “Practical Magic”, “Little John”, “Fly Away Home”, “My Girl” 1&2, “Conversations with God”, “The Celestine Prophecy”, “As Good as It Gets”, “Places in the Heart”, “The Painted Veil”, “Smile”, “Shine”, “Ocean Oasis: IMAX”, “Sarafina!”, “The Associate”, “The Long Walk Home”, “A Walk in the Clouds”, “Mrs. Palfrey at the Claremont”, “Chocolat”, “Dreamer: Inspired by a True Story”, “Flicka”, “Freedom Writers”, “Mrs. Henderson Presents”, “Boys on the Side”, “The Prize Winner of Defiance, Ohio”, “The Gods Must Be Crazy” 1&2, “Driving Miss Daisy”, “Holy Man”, “Corrina, Corrina”, “The Mighty”, “Groundhog Day”, “There’s Something About Mary”, “Shiloh”, “Mandela and de Klerk”, “Raise Your Voice”, “Touching Wild Horses”, “Skipped Parts”, “A Walk to Remember”, “Joshua”, “Uptown Girls”, “Love Comes Softly”, “Sacred Planet”, “Mickey”.

These are just a few of the films I recommend. I took the list from movies I have rented from NetFlix. Certainly there have been many other such films I have watched prior to getting my NetFlix account. I would love to have a recommendation from you my readers for other films along the same lines as these.

Love and Blessings,
Michael Skowronski
Author of Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story
Also on Amazon.com and BarnesAndNoble.com…including awesome book reviews!

Popularity: 4% [?]

What can we do to stop the brutal killings and acts of unspeakable horror that continue to infect this planet…acts that are happening to someone somewhere even on this very day? Today I received a request from a friend to add more friends for her somewhat new MySpace page. She is trying to stop the brutality and insane killings in Iran. Her page made me sick with grief , but it is a worthy cause indeed, and one we must all take up in the name of Love.

Please sign this petition through this website, her MySpace friend name is: www.stopchildexecutions.com ~ GrassRootSaviors

A SPECIAL NOTE TO FUNDAMENTALIST CHRISTIANS, MUSLIMS and OTHERS OF FUNDAMENTALIST RELIGIONS…INCLUDING FUNDAMENTALIST ATHEISTS…YOU have the greatest chance to make this world a better place…Please read further down for this note written specifically for you…

Sometimes when I see such things I think US President Bush is right in going to war with the Middle East…of course I know it is not the best we can do. And I also know that the majority of what Bush is doing is self-serving and insane, but it does make me feel sick and angry and want to kick some butt when I see such things are still going on in the world. We must all transcend these feelings and move onto a more productive place in our hearts and minds if we ever want to see real change take place on this planet.

Is this our karma to watch this in helplessness? Yes and no…Yes, whenever we spread our own anger. Yes, whenever we spread hatred and separation. Yes, when we look at someone else in judgment and criticize. Yes, when we think and act like we are better than someone else.

Is this our karma to watch this in helplessness? Yes and no…NO, because we have a chance to do something about this. NO, because we are creative beings. NO, because our minds are powerful tools of creation. NO, because our prayers are powerful tools that have been proven to work time and time again. Many studies have been done. We have seen many reports and even books that detail the demonstrations of the power that creative visualization and prayer has in healing violence and illness. The proof is out there, seek and you will find it…better yet give it a real try and discover this truth for yourself!

Pray for these murders that they find peace and love within their own hearts. Pray that the light of awareness shines within their minds and that they become aware of what their thoughts and actions are doing to us all, and ultimately to themselves. You can stop reading now to take a moment to do exactly that…and then make this a daily habit, include this in your daily practice of prayer and meditation.

When Jesus was dying on the cross he asked God to, “Forgive them for they know not what they do.” If one of the most powerful masters on the planet thought and prayed that way, then perhaps this is what we all should do too. And if we really and truly think this way, and are sincere in our prayers, then let our actions towards all others reflect these thoughts and prayers of forgiveness.

We need real solutions to these very real problems. We are each of us gods and ultimately it will be us that will answer our own prayers. Thus I ask you to start with yourselves and get to work on healing these issues of separation in your own lives. Otherwise you have nothing of real value to offer the planet and will only continue to hold us all back in the mass evolution we desire.

A SPECIAL NOTE TO FUNDAMENTILIST CHRISTIANS, MUSLIMS and OTHERS OF FUNDAMENTALIST RELIGIONS…INCLUDING FUNDAMENTILIST ATHIESTS…YOU have the greatest chance to make this world a better place and here is how…

Heal the hatred and separation that lives in your own mind…for this is the hallmark of a FUNDAMENTILIST! Stop preaching things that cause others to hate. Stop reacting in hate to those with different points of view. Start looking for a way to join together with all others in creating peace and harmony on the planet. If you are feeling bad, look at your own mind and thoughts, they are the cause of your pain and suffering, not other people. STOP BLAMING OTHERS! Shift your own thinking until you do feel better. Then you will be on track and joining the Whole that we all know of as God.

Here are examples of the kinds of things I speak of:

*Judging and hating others because of prostitution or displays of nudity or sexual content.

*Judging and hating others because of drug use.

*Judging and hating others because they speak of channeling, psychics, or teach about other God like humans than the one your religion worships.

*Judging and hating others because they are murders, rapists, or child molesters.

*Judging and hating others because they are Fundamentalist Christians or Muslims or of other Religions or from other countries.

It is this sort of thinking that crucified Christ. When you judge and hate you are the ones responsible for the violence and killings because you support it with your energy. You must stop this if peace is to prevail on the planet. You are the biggest weak link in the chain of peace when you are in judgment and hatred of others, no matter how justified you feel.

SOLUTIONS

For more practical solutions to these problems please read the following blogs, comment and take the lessons into your own heart such that you become a part of the solution and stop being a part of the problem…

*Healing the World Using Law of Attraction
*International World Government
*Crime and Punishment…Both are Insane!
*Reprogramming Yourself

Who else needs support? Start your comment with “HELP ***” in all caps so that your comment stands out for those who are reading looking for others to support.

Who else has support to offer? Start your comment with “SUPPORT ***” in all caps so that your comment stands out as an offer of support…many of my friends and blog readers are very enlightened people, they can offer you awesome support in healing yourselves.

If you have a blog or other resource that is of value and related to solving the problems of violence and hatred and brutality in the world, please post a link to it or mention it. If you email me I can turn HTML on for you and your comment, or post it myself as a reply to your comments. I am thinking about things like world meditations timed for a specific date and time, or awesome peace inspiring videos, etc…

PLEASE TELL OTHERS ABOUT my Healing the World Using Law of Attraction BLOG…let’s work together to raise awareness of how to solve these worldwide problems.

Namasté
Michael Skowronski
Author of Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story

Popularity: 4% [?]

Both crime and punishment are insane. To believe that you will get what you want by taking it from another, to believe that doing harm to another will serve you in some way, both are insane ideas. Anyone who is observing life clearly understands the insanity behind either approach to life. One popular definition of insanity states that to continue doing the same thing and expecting different results is insane. And it is. There is a feeling of frustration that goes along with insanity, which often causes anger and violence, or at least the thoughts to commit violent acts. Insanity is a lack of understanding of how life works, which plays out in the actions of the insane person. An insane person thinks or does certain things which give them results they do not want.

Consider the idea of punishing someone as our society does, locking them up in jail or prison for a long period of time. This is inhumane, this is torture, and in most cases patently unfair. The punishment is usually far more severe than the criminal act. The reason the severity seems necessary, is because punishment is such a poor way to get someone to change their behaviors, that we must go to great extremes for it to have any effect at all.

Punishment does harm to the individual who is already insane. If they committed a true crime, they are by definition insane. How will torturing someone like this alleviate their insanity? How do we expect their behavior to improve once released? What new lessons will that person have learned? In prison as they currently are, they will have become more skilled criminals. Locked up with others whose life skills consist of harming others, what else is there to learn? By being abused and neglected by those who watch over the prisoners what life lessons are learned?

And we can see the results if we open our eyes and observe. Most criminals go right out and commit another crime in order to be locked up once again. Do you know the reason? Not because they are looking for a free ride…a place to sleep and food, but because they feel safer and less judged amongst those of their own kind as opposed to the angry judgmental society that would do such a horrific thing to them in the first place.

Certainly there are those who are just broken by the experience, and those who leave prison and never commit another crime. Yet are they productive members of society, or just too frightened to fully participate anymore? I am confident that if we observe the results of our “justice” system we will find that in most cases (probably higher than 90%) it is failing miserably. And that is pure insanity. It says that as a society WE ARE INSANE!

Is there another way to protect the lives and properties of the people of our society? Most definitely there is, and the time has come for us to develop this system. Our goal should be to ensure the safety and well being of all people, even the insane criminals. Our goal should be to ensure that every citizen of society understands the proper use of their thoughts and actions in gaining the life experiences and objects that they desire. The actions we take to accomplish our goals should bear fruit. Our actions should deliver what it is we are seeking or we should adapt and evolve until we do accomplish our goals.

A Possible Solution

First we must do away with the idea of punishment. This is a must. There are all sorts of problems with punishment, the greatest being that it leads to dishonesty. And without truth, what can be accomplished? Without truth, we are dead in the water. We have nowhere to go when truth is absent. When there is no fear of punishment the truth should be much easier to discover. Why lie when you don’t have to?

Those who insist on punishment should fall into the same category as the perpetrator of the “crime”, insane, and as such both parties require treatment for their mental illness.

Developing new habits in the person who commits a crime should be our primary goal. ALL people operate out of habit most of the time. Rarely do people consciously choose their actions, and those that do are usually in the category of enlightened beings rather than criminals. You could argue that when a person steals an object, or does harm to another person, that they have consciously chosen to do that. But then I would argue that you really don’t understand people and life very well and thus you are not fit to be in a place of trying to solve this problem. Even those actions of theft and harm come from prior training. Habits of thinking like, “I can get what I want by stealing it, I can force that person to do my bidding by harming them or threatening them with harm,” are the real cause of their actions.

So we need to retrain people. Now it would be much easier, much more economically efficient, and much more humane if we actually offered this training from the get go. We should be doing a better job of training our children so that they don’t grow up to be criminals. We all know how horrible grade school and even high school years can be, with all of the bulling that goes on. This is the start of crime and it should be nipped in the bud.

But we still have to deal with an existing, predominantly insane society. And to do this we will need to provide retraining for a lot of adults with pre-existing insane ideas about life. People have to want to change in order to change. In the beginning we may need to keep the ultimate threat of punishment alive. The criminal would be given a choice, to participate in retraining, or have their freedoms severely restricted. They would be locked up in a reasonably comfortable prison cell, better than our current systems, and given good healthy food and good medical care. The only radio, TV, or reading material they would be allowed would contain positive, life affirming messages that in some way gave them a life skill that would improve their mental condition. Movies that promote violence and vengeance like, “The Terminator” and “Die Hard” would be strictly forbidden.

The retraining option should treat offenders with as much respect and dignity as possible. They should work one on one with guidance counselors to establish new skills and habits. Those criminals who have been successfully retrained would be prime candidates to assist newly discovered criminals in their retraining. Look at the good works that programs like Alcoholics Anonymous does. Reformed alcoholics, those with a real understanding of both sides of the problem, are helping those who are still struggling with their problem to transform.

Certainly there are more details that need to be fleshed out. But if we try we can do this. There is enough awareness in the world, there are enough people with love and compassion and an enlightened understanding of Life to solve this problem. The biggest problem we face is that the majority of people on the planet still don’t understand Life and are not paying attention, and not observing what is working and what is not. They are organized, they are active, and they are insanely working to perpetuate the problem. Those of us with awareness must become organized and must set about to solve this problem as well as all of the other problems that plague our world today.

How can we do that? Right now we have no system for problem solving. We need one. I have made a proposal for a system that will work in my blog titled International World Government. It contains something I call a World Solutions Database and a computerized system to facilitate working out these solutions with people who are intelligent and offering ideas that will work. (We need to work these issues out for all of the world, not just America.) I suggest you read that blog too. I fully intend to develop that system once I have the financial resources to do so…unless someone beats me to it…and that is fine with me since I already have a great deal of work on my plate.

We don’t need government approval to begin. We can solve some of the world’s problems in spite of the idiots who are currently running the world. And when we do our successes will speak for themselves and attract others to join us.

Love and Blessings,
Michael Skowronski
Author of Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story
Also on Amazon.com and BarnesAndNoble.com…including awesome book reviews!

Popularity: 8% [?]

*Enlightenment Inc. – Hires employees and teaches them skills for enlightenment as part of their work duties.

*Teach the Children – Free worldwide education with the best possible and enlightening resources.

*Harmonious Living Arts and Entertainment – Entertainment that inspires and enlightens.

*Guidance towards Sanity – Anti-criminal justice including an end to the war on drugs. Focuses on reform rather than punishment.

*International World Government – Using the Internet to make the governments of the world accessible by the average person.

Changing the World…

We all want to see it happen, but not all of us for the same reasons nor in the same direction. But when it comes down to it, we all want the world to be a better place to live, at least for ourselves.

Changing others is a difficult task. Other people must want to change. We tried forcing change, we tried locking people up in prison in hopes that it would change them. We tried condemning others to hell for their behaviors in hopes that it would change them. But has it worked? I say that people are changing in spite of these two failed approaches. If you don’t believe those two options have failed and proven to be impossible then wake up! Look at the data that is readily available. One of the biggest problems we face is that we have a system of government that caters to the fears of the general population and does not evaluate whether the actions we are taking are effective or not. The governments of the world simply ignore truth. Too many people ignore truth. This must change!

The most effective form of change has occurred as a result of attraction. We see that 12 steps programs, such as Alcoholics Anonymous and it’s offshoots, are solving the problems with addiction through the efforts of recovering addicts helping each other. By and large this is a program of attraction not promotion. People participate because they are attracted to those who have faced similar challenges and are living a much better life free of their addictive activities.

We see a spiritual movement that is surpassing the religious movements of the past. People are attracted to the light being spread by wise and compassionate people who have discovered real spiritual power within themselves. It shines brightly in certain people and others are attracted to them and what they teach. Yet there are no positions of superiority, only leaders who are showing others the light that is within their own being.

Lately we have been hearing a lot about a Universal Spiritual Law known as The Law of Attraction. This law states that we create our reality, both our inner reality and our outer world experience, through the focus of our minds. We attract to ourselves life experiences based upon the vibrations we hold, which are based upon the thoughts we think. I have proven to my own satisfaction that the The Law of Attraction is indeed at work in our lives. And many other people have done the same!

Brainwashing has been the traditional way that we have influenced the course of our society. And I do not see this influence going away anytime soon. Radio, TV, Movies, Newspapers, Magazines, and most recently variations on these mediums are online. School systems, government, military, corporations and religion also have played a role in the brainwashing of the masses. We must do this too!

In order to be effective in creating a positive change we must become involved in all of these mediums of brainwashing. It will take a large number of likeminded individuals to do this working together as a team. These changes are going to take money too. Unfortunately a lot of our money is tied up in taxes, taxes that are being wasted by corrupt and ineffective governments. It going to take a lot of promoting so that those of like mind will find us.

World Solutions Database and International World Government

I have already written a blog called International World Government on the basic concepts of this government. Some have responded to this in shock and horror. It seems like they are reacting to the title alone without reading the details. This is not a one person rules the world type of government that I am suggesting.

We need a common place that all people all over the world can go to register the problems this world is facing and begin the topics for discussion. Notice that I did not name it “World Problem Database”. The focus is on the SOLUTIONS not the problems. We must however register the problem, in order to begin discussing the solutions. And the solutions implemented should produce measurable results that take us towards our goals.

The goals of this government should be to provide the basic needs of all people everywhere on the planet. This includes nutritious food, clean water, clothing, housing, education, child care, energy, public transportation, a clean environment, humane treatment of animals, protection from harm and free medical care.

Continued in my blog  Enlightenment Incorporated

Namasté
Michael Skowronski
Author of Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story

Popularity: 4% [?]

Lately I have been reading mail coming from caregivers who are falling down on the job. The pain and suffering they have to deal with is overwhelming them. They find themselves taking on the pains of others and depression and deep sadness is the result. This also applies to parents who are overwhelmed with supporting the family and caring for their own children.

It is of the utmost importance to take care of yourself number one. YOU MUST BE YOUR OWN TOP PRIORITY!

I cannot stress this point highly enough. If you do not take care of yourself then you have very little to offer to another person that will be of real value. This is because the energy coming from you is harmful. Especially to one who is extra sensitive due to some physical or mental illness. And children too react to your suffering and worry. The following are links to blogs that will help you take care of yourself in your role as a caregiver…

Being a Caregiver
Reprogramming Yourself
Meditation and the Wandering Mind…Meditation is especially important for a caregiver!

Have you ever wondered how I came to understand the relationship between our thoughts and our energy so well?

It comes from experience, much experience. The following excerpts are taken from my book Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story. Kathryn was my late wife who was dying of cancer at the time the “Lessons In Energy” story takes place. She was very intuitive, a gifted psychic and a Reiki Master. She was a powerful healer for others and taught me a lot about energy and how it works through the following sorts of experiences…

Our First Reiki Experiences

I did not feel much when I gave a Reiki treatment. Occasionally I would pick up information about the people I was working on, but my head kept questioning the validity of what I was feeling. One time when Kathryn was having back pains she asked me for some help. I was happy to be able to help and almost surprised that she believed that I could. She sat in a dining room chair, leaned forward and asked me to do Reiki on her back. In my mind I prayed, Please Holy Spirit move through me to help Kathryn in the best way possible.

After a short while she said, “Oh Mike, that feels great; it’s just what I needed. You have such good healing energy.”

I believed Kathryn could really feel the energy so I was excited to hear that coming from her. Without saying anything, I did not move a muscle; I only thought to myself, Wow, I am doing this. It is actually working. I might just turn out to be a healer after all. I felt thrilled and excited; I was even more enthusiastic to continue treating Kathryn, until….

At the very same moment I was having those thoughts, Kathryn responded, “That’s not it, it’s changed. The energy feels bad now.”

I immediately recognized how I let my ego get in the way. I prayed quietly, Okay Holy Spirit, I’m sorry, I’ll get out of the way and allow you to move the energy as you see fit. I am only an instrument of your healing.

Once again, at the very same moment I began having those new thoughts, Kathryn responded with, “That’s better…It’s back.” Not only was I amazed that I was actually changing my energy with each thought, but that Kathryn really could pick it up. This experience made a profound impression on my mind.

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This is the last part of the Kidnapping and the Wedding story. This was continued from…

That evening, after dinner, I went outside to enjoy the evening air and get some work done. Everyone else was getting ready for bed. Then Shyni came out and asked me, “Are you ready to come in for sleep?”

“No, I am not tired yet. I’ll just stay out here and get some writing done. You go on and go to bed, I’ll come in later.”

Then Shyni got nervous. I could tell she did not know what to say. “You should come in to bed now,” was all that she could say. I decided not to object and just go with the flow. She took me into the bedroom and then told me, “My mother kicked me out of her bed.”

Not understanding I replied, “What? But I thought that we couldn’t sleep together until the temple marriage.”

“My mother told me that now I am a married woman and I should sleep with my husband.” Shyni was very nervous now. Her voice went really low. I could barely hear her. “Michael, I hope that you won’t be upset, but I don’t want to have sex until after the temple marriage. I can sleep on the floor if you like and you can have the bed.”

“No, of course not! I won’t let you sleep on the floor. I can share your bed without having sex.” I could not believe my luck. I was happy to get closer to Shyni even if I had to hold back and wait. Besides, having sex with my virgin wife in a tiny family home, with the rest of her family sleeping an ear’s shot away did not seem right to me either. And it would not be the first time I had slept with a woman and not had sex, not by a long shot. I knew I could control myself.

It was a single bed and neither of us got much slept that first night. We talked a little about our lives. I held Shyni in my arms most of the night. I kissed the back of her head affectionately many times. I kept my hands from wandering that first night, but it was is impossible to lie in such a tiny bed without feeling her firm young breasts pressing against the backs of my hands. I laid there drinking it all in and it felt wonderful. Over the next few nights Shyni allowed me to caress her body more, but she made it clear I was not to get carried away. She allowed me to kiss her on the cheeks and lips, but would not return the kisses. When I asked her why, she said that had to wait until after the temple marriage.

This arrangement gave us time to get to know each other slowly. In bed Shyni was very cuddly and even affectionate with me; in public she kept her distance. Thus my final fears were alleviated. It was both difficult and wonderful to sleep with Shyni; she remained a virgin until we were on our honeymoon.

I lived with Shyni’s family, in a small and simple Indian home with dirt floors. The actual bedroom we slept in is shown in the pictures in the previous chapter. They had no running water, only a well. At this time of the year the well water was nearly dry. The water was only suitable for certain cleaning tasks and flushing the toilet. For cooking and bathing water Shyni and her mother carried many four gallon vessels of water about half a kilometer on their heads.

Shyni boiled water for my bath every day. She set up the outdoor bathroom with my bathing products and cleaned up after me. When I came out she had chosen my clothes and set them neatly on the bed for me to change into. She washed all of my clothes. Along with her mother, Shyni prepared all of my meals, served them to me, and cleaned up afterwards. The food they made was fantastic, but if I did not like something I was able to tell her. She did not take offense, she did not complain, she did not even hold negative thoughts about my comments. If she had, I would have felt it. The next time she fed me she had taken into account anything I had told her about my likes and dislikes. With my late wife Kathryn, after my second or third “constructive criticism” of her meals, she told me, “From now on you can be the cook.”

I was not used to the kind of treatment Shyni was giving me; I was being treated like a king. All of her life Shyni dreamed of being married and being a housewife. Many times she told me that her greatest wish was to be the very best wife she could be. She was very happy to do these things for me. It showed in the way she did them. I felt loved and pampered.

Every morning I would take a walk alone into the forest of the wild animal preserve. I would climb to the top of the small hill for my morning meditation. I took my camera with me the first few times hoping I would find Elephants or Tigers or other interesting wildlife to photograph. One morning I had gotten tired of carrying the camera and was about to leave it behind when I felt the intuition to take the camera with me. That is the morning I met the Elephants. That story is in my blog The Elephants of India.

Shyni was very playful too and loved to joke around. We were counting down the days before our marriage. When we woke up I would tell her, “Only X more sleeps before the wedding.” One morning she corrected me, and told me it’s Saturday not Sunday. I was confused. How could I get it wrong? I’ve been counting down the days. But I accepted her correction…until later that day when I was out buying a chicken for the evening meal. I did not have correct change and the man told me, “Okay, you come back Monday to pay.”

To which I replied, “Monday, I can come back tomorrow.”

And he replied, “Tomorrow is Monday.”

I wasn’t sure he understood English very well. Most of them didn’t. I said, “No today is Saturday,” and I picked up the newspaper that was on his table to show him and it said Sunday. “Arrggg! Shyni, you got me!” I cried out loud. The shopkeeper just looked at me and laughed. Shyni too had a good laugh when I returned home and let her know I had figured it out.

The night before our wedding I had to sleep at the home-stay. If I knew then what I know now I would have selected a different place to stay, but Shyni did not tell me about the abduction and that Sandhya was involved so I packed up a bag and checked into my room. I returned to Shyni’s family home for dinner. By that time many friends and relatives had arrived and were either coming or going. One of them had painted Shyni’s hands with henna. My first reaction was that I wanted to object, but I kept it in. I never really liked that sort of thing, but it was a beautiful work of art, and I did not want to put a damper on the evening, so I let it go.

I took some photographs of Shyni’s hands painted with henna. One of them is on the cover of my book, Unforgettable. More than a year later, when I gave the cover design artist the photos of Shyni’s hennaed hands, I had no idea if she would use them or not. But the resulting book cover was perfect with those hands on them because it fits perfectly with events in the story. When I showed Shyni the book’s cover art she told me, “Many years ago a psychic man told me that my hands would be famous all over the world one day. I did not believe him, I thought he was crazy. Now I know it will be true.”

The next day Shyam and some of his male relatives came over to my room and dressed me for the wedding. Yes, except for my underwear, they actually dressed me. That is the Hindu tradition. They also brought a photographer who took heaps of photos. They came so early in the morning that there were still a few hours to go before I had to leave for the wedding, so they returned to the family home and I got undressed and went back to sleep. I hadn’t slept much that night and was now very sleepy. When I awoke I had to dress myself for the wedding.

The temple marriage ceremony was a fantastic experience and very different than a western style marriage. About sixty people attended the ceremony and two hundred people showed up for the wedding banquet. Most of these people were Shyni’s relatives. One couple, a British woman and an Egyptian man, who owned a local hotel came as well as one other European who I had met came to the ceremony. Shyni has a very large family.

A few days after the accident and the abduction I ended up having to purchase the motorbike from Mohammad otherwise there would have been trouble… in the end there was much more trouble, but that happens later in the story. Shyni warned me not to trust Mohammad. I should have heeded her warning.

Stay tuned for the next installment – The Honeymoon and the Truth about Eju.

Love and Blessings,
Michael Skowronski
Author of Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story

Popularity: 6% [?]

This is Part 3 of a story that began with these first two chapters (and a side story):

Part 1 - A Marriage Made in Heaven (Part I, Part II)

Part 2 - The Suicide and the Accident

A Side Story - The Elephants of India

Photos of our Hindu Wedding Ceremony.

After what Shyni’s family referred to as our “First Marriage” I returned back to my home-stay room in Kumily alone. I was hoping that I would not run into
Mohammad, the young man who rented me the motor bike, nor Madhu or Sandhya, the owners of the home-stay. I returned to my room only to change my clothes and take a bucket bath before going out to dinner and hoped I could at least get through dinner before there was a question about the whereabouts of the motorbike.

Showers are not common in India, and when you do find one, they usually don’t work very well, which was the case in my room. Hot water was also not common amongst the native people, as they could not afford the electricity, gas or firewood required to heat the water. Nor did they have the hot water heaters that they called geysers, except in hotel rooms and home-stays that were meant for foreign tourists. It was chilly in the morning and evening, which meant that I needed hot water, and plenty of it. The geyser did not provide quite enough for my needs so I would fill up the bucket with hot water, wait 10 minutes for the geyser to reheat some more, and then begin my bath.

Being an American I had never in my life taken a bucket bath before I came to India. The concept was foreign to me. It was not too difficult to figure out, but still I had never even considered it before my arrival on these foreign shores. You have your large bucket which you fill with water at the desired temperature and a one liter mug which you use to scoop water out and pour over yourself.

I was able to make it through my dinner and back to my room without running into Mohammad. This was actually unusual since he was a “guide” in Kumily and was often seen in the various places I would go including the restaurants. I did not run into Madhu or Sandhya that evening either. It was almost as if Sandhya was avoiding me ever since I announced that I was going to marry Shyni, because in that week of time, she stopped coming by my room to talk. Of course I was hardly ever at my room like I had been in the prior weeks. So I just figured that was the reason.

The next day however was a different story. Mohammad came to my room and asked me where his motorbike was. He had noticed it was not parked outside. He also told me that I had been seen in Peremade, one of his friends had informed him. Mohammad wanted to know what I was doing there. I told him it was none of his business and proceeded to give him a lecture about spying on us a week earlier when Shyni and I was first introduced. But Mohammad would not be distracted by my lecture, he again inquired about the bike and he insisted that I tell him where it was.

I lied to him and saying, “You don’t have to worry about your motorbike Mohammad. I am taking good care of it. It was too cold last night to ride it home so I left it at Shyni’s house and I took a rickshaw back.”

“I went to Shyni’s house just before. My bike is not there. There is going to be trouble. Now you better tell me what happened. I will bring the police here!” Mohammad’s tone turned angry and determined. Again I was surprised at how much he already knew.

“Alright, I had a small accident and the bike is in the shop being repaired. Don’t worry, I will pay for everything.”

“That is my motorbike. You must tell me where it is. I need to file insurance claims.”

“I told you not to worry; I will cover all of the repair costs. It is not that much. The insurance company does not even have to know about the accident.” I was determined to give Mohammad as little information as possible.

“Now you stop playing with me. You must tell me where it is. Did you get hurt? Was there anyone else on the bike with you? Did anyone get hurt?”

“No one got hurt. I was alone.”

“If you don’t tell me where it is I am going to bring the police here…Do you want that?”

“If you bring the police I will tell them how you were spying on our conversation the other evening…Do you want that?”

“You better get that bike back here by this afternoon or there will be trouble.” With that Mohammad walked away in a huff.

I wasn’t sure what to do. I did not think that Shyni would be back home yet, but I went there anyway to see. She was not there. Only her mother Chechi and nephew Eju were there. I could not understand them, nor could they understand me. So I was still left to figure this one out on my own.

I had work to do, so I returned to my room to resume my writing. Mohammed came by and confronted me two other times that same day. Each time I refused to tell him more than I already had. He was not happy.

The next morning I went to Shyni’s home and she was there. We talked about her brother-in-law Gopal who was fine except for some stitches and a swollen knee. Shyni told me the motorbike was in Kottayam, three hours away, being repaired by Gopal’s brother. It was only going to cost Rs. 3000 (Indian Rupees), which is about $75. I could hardly believe the cost would be so low. I figured the metal on the new parts alone would cost that much. In reality it turned out to cost only Rs. 600 more than that.

We talked about what to do about Mohammad, what would we tell him about his bike? Shyni told me to say nothing more than I had to. Then Shyni asked me, “Would you like to stay here instead of the home-stay?

I could not believe it. I replied, “Yes, that would be great. And it would save me some money too!”

“My family has discussed this and you can sleep in the room next to the kitchen and I will sleep with my mother in the main room. We cannot sleep together until our temple marriage.”

That was fine with me. At least I would be closer to Shyni and save money at the same time. And with the dramas with Mohammad, it was also more comforting to be at the family home. So I went straight back to the home-stay to collect my belongings and check out. Fortunately I missed Mohammad, but Sandhya gave me a lecture about hiding Mohammad’s bike from him.

To be continued…

Love and Blessings,

Michael Skowronski

Author of Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story

Popularity: 5% [?]

This is another part of the Marriage Made in Heaven story (Part I and Part II)

It was at the age of fifteen that Shyni decided she would marry a foreigner, or a white man as they refer to us in India. For years she had been telling her friends and family that she would do this. Shyni had a strong and independent great grandmother who was a very big influence upon her. This great matriarch taught Shyni how to think for herself and to see through the illusions that most people live under, which is one of the reasons Shyni is so compatible with me. Shyni did not like the way Indian men treated their wives and did not want to grow up to become a slave to her husband. She wanted someone who would see her for who she really was and would treat her with love and respect. She saw the odds of that happening with an Indian man to be quite slim.

Shyni’s father, Master Thomas, was a great musician and well known all over India for his talent. He had many students from all over the world coming to learn to play tabla and purchase a tabla made by the hands of this master craftsman. Master Thomas also taught twenty one other instruments, vocals, and dance. He won many awards for his work. So there was plenty of white folk hanging around the family home.

At the age of thirty, Shyni was already in danger of becoming an old spinster in her culture. Master Thomas had been looking for a husband for Shyni since she was eighteen years old. But he was trying to hook her up with an Indian man. A few of his European students offered to marry her; one of them was a handsome young movie director from London England. Even though Master Thomas wanted Shyni to marry an Indian man, he allowed Shyni to decide, and she declined them all. They did not feel like the right suitor for her. Master Thomas died shortly before Shyni’s twenty fifth birthday without finding her a husband.

Seven months before I met Shyni, when she was nearly thirty years old, a man from Vienna Austria proposed to her. He had known Shyni since she was fifteen and had been a student of Master Thomas. Shyni accepted and the next day they both went their separate ways, he back to Vienna and Shyni back to her job as a nurse in Delhi. Three months later he returned to Kumily to marry Shyni. He called her in Delhi and told her to quit her job and come to be married. Shyni did just that. But the years had corrupted what had once been a nice young man. He was sexually active with other Indian women and into drugs. He began insulting certain family members and after nine days Shyni called off the marriage. They never even touched each other, not once in the fourteen years that they knew each other. Shyni remained a virgin.

Just a few weeks before I met Shyni she became disillusioned with her life thinking that God had forgotten about her and attempted suicide. She grieved her father’s death, and her great grandmother who died at the age of 100, only months after Master Thomas, they were the only adult family members that understood Shyni and that only ones she could trust. She loved and missed them dearly. Shyni took an overdose of prescription medicine, about five times the dosage that should have killed her, and being a nurse she knew what a lethal dosage was. She awoke three days later very angry at God and asking, “Why did you send me back?” She was very upset. Her nine year old nephew Eju was the only family member to stick by her the entire time she was out cold. The adults left her to live or die, depending on the will of God.

Ten days later I came along. I knew nothing of her attempted suicide when I agreed to marry her.

Shyni’s sister and her husband Gopal came to Shyni’s home late that evening of the day I asked Shyni to marry me. I was back at my room busy writing my book. The next day I went to their house and met Jessie and Gopal. I sat down with the family to formally ask for Shyni’s hand in marriage. For about thirty minutes they asked me many questions; with Shyni interpreting I answered. Their talk sounded a bit harsh, there were times I was worried that there was a problem, but Shyni told me what they said, and I believed they were happy with the marriage. But in reality there were objections, worries and fears. Would I use her and then leave her behind? Would I humiliate the family? Her brother was concerned, her sister was supportive. Others were on the fence. I did not know this, and I am glad that I did not.

This was just like something out of a movie…no, even better…because it was happening to me. I marveled at how everything in my life, my previous experiences, up to this point made me ready, willing, and able to fully take this experience in and go with the flow of it. Even a few years earlier I would not have been up for this. Because I was on such a mission to fully understand Life I thought this was a great opportunity to immerse myself in such a different culture.

Yet there was one thing missing for me at this point, something that made me a bit uncomfortable.

These days I can tell when a woman is sexually interested in me. I even felt that kind of interest coming from the second woman I met. But I did not feel it with any of the others, and certainly NOT with Shyni. I did not feel any sort of intimate connection or chemistry with Shyni. Nor had I witnessed her express any sort of affection with any of her family members at this point.

I took some inner counseling about this. First I decided that this was too big of an event in my life for God to let me proceed if it was wrong for me. I knew something would come up to stop this wedding if Shyni was not right for me. This was not blind faith however; this was faith due to all of the amazing events that I have experienced in my life that has confirmed that God is watching over and protecting me…read my book for an overwhelming taste of those grand experiences.

The next thing I told myself was that Shyni wants intimacy and touch just like everyone else does. She has already told me how important it is for her to find the right husband and that it be for life. I could not believe that she would choose to go through her life with a man that she could not be intimate with. I figured that she was just used to holding that sort of energy back and that it would come out once we were married, when it was appropriate for her to do so. And finally I knew that I had the ability to bring the absolute best out of a person. Since Shyni was willing to work at making this relationship good, I knew I could teach her how to be a good lover if she had any difficulties at the start.

I also explained my concerns about intimacy with Shyni. I told her, “Physical intimacy is very important to me. I am not like an Indian man; I am not looking for a servant. Intimacy is the biggest reason
that I want a wife. Being my lover must come naturally and should not done out of duty and obligation.” Shyni’s response was simple, “You don’t have to worry, I understand.” She was too shy to say anything more about this issue. I finished that conversation by telling her, “I take my commitment to marry very seriously and will do everything I can to ensure we have a happy marriage. But I will not stay in a marriage that has no intimacy; I will not stay in a marriage that is unhappy. Please make sure you considered this before we proceed.”

By the end of the third day, although I had not touched her, I had gotten physically close enough to Shyni to feel the warmth of her intimate energy bodies. They did not close off when I came close. She felt very receptive. This helped to ease my worries.

Over the next few days I spent most of my time at her family home. Her sister, brother-in-law and their children stayed there for six days. With each day came more and more confirmation that I had made a good decision; especially when I saw how affectionate she was with her niece and nephew.

Although they had little money or income, they owned a nice home in a great spot right next to a grassy field which borders the wild animal preserve. Wild monkeys stop by frequently and I had an encounter with wild elephants while walking only half a kilometer from her house.

Shyni’s brother Shyam was twenty three at the time. He followed in his father’s footsteps, making tablas, teaching music, and singing his heart out. Shyam is also a world class musician; he gave his first public performance at the age of three. In the midst of the family making this decision, Shyam got a phone call inviting him and his group to give a live performance at a music college. We all interpreted this as a good omen, as God’s blessing, on our decision. This was a very high honor for Shyam because of the quality of this school and because he was the only outside performer that was invited.

When they suggested that I go along to the concert with him I was resistant due to the great traveling distance and a loss of two days time from writing my book. Intuitively I knew this would be a good experience to help bind me with Shyni’s family. My intuition turned out correct because Shyam was still a bit leery of me and he had the power to stop this marriage from happening. After that Shyam liked me and considered me a down to earth regular person, so I am glad that I went. I had trouble communicating with Shyam and his fellow musicians because they spoke very little English and I spoke no Malayalam at the time. (I am still learning; it is the second most difficult language on the planet.) I had to use all of the patience I could muster up and quiet my frustrations when things did not go as I expected, which was often. It was quite an adventure and learning experience for me.

On February 28th 2005, one week after meeting Shyni, we went to Peermade, a city that was an hour away for our “first” marriage. It was done in a law office which begun the legal process for marrying a foreigner. This consisted of signing a legal document that contained wedding vows and filling paperwork with the government. They contacted my country, the USA, to make sure I am not already married. It takes forty days for this to complete.

However there were complications…when we got there the attorney who was handling the paperwork did not have the required “stamp paper” to write the official documents on. I had driven to Peermade alone on the motor cycle that I had rented from Mohammad. It was a beautiful drive through the Western Ghats Mountain Range that I enjoyed thoroughly. The rest of the family came by bus, the common form of transportation for the majority of the people of India. There was no stamp paper to be found in this small legal town we were in, don’t ask me why, that’s just how Indians do business. So I was elected to take Gopal, Shyni’s sister’s husband, and drive to another town to find it. After a few hours of searching we came back empty handed.

Meanwhile the family had made a few phone calls and located stamp paper in another town but I was too tired of driving to make yet another one hour round trip drive. My contract with Mohammad, who I rented the motor bike from, prohibited me from letting anyone else use the bike. So it was with great reluctance that I gave the motor bike to Gopal and the attorney to go and retrieve the stamp paper.

About forty minutes later we get a phone call from Gopal, they had an accident. They were both hurt and the bike badly damaged. A jeep was sent to recover them and brought them back to the hospital in Peermade. Poor Shyni, she was so afraid that this would jinks the marriage. She was afraid that I would back out. I did everything I could to reassure her that I was not going to back out over this problem. But her fears would not go away. As I probed deeper, I found that she had greater worries. Shyni was deathly afraid of Mohammad and what he would do when he discovered that his bike was damaged. I did my best to soothe her worries; I told her that I would buy the bike from him if it came down to that. It seemed to help a little, but all of the family was on the worry train of thought so they were influencing her too.

The attorney required a cast for his broken leg, Gopal required stitches for the gash above his eye, but they would live. After the medical dramas were dealt with, we still had time to do the legal work. A funny thing happened when it came time for me to sign the legal papers…I got hot feet. Not cold feet, but hot feet, unusually hot feet. I figured it reflected just how much I wanted this marriage to take place.

Because of the drama with the bike and Gopal’s injuries, Shyni decided to go home with her sister and Gopal to help Gopal get further medical treatment. Gopal’s brother, who worked at a bike repair shop in the big city of Kottayam, came to get the bike and repair it.

Before Shyni put me on the bus to returned to my home-stay in Kumily she warned me not to tell Mohammad about the wedding and the bike. I objected saying, “What am I going to tell him about the bike? He will see that I don’t have it. He will ask questions. I can’t lie to him.”

Shyni was very worried. She told me, “You can’t tell Mohammad anything. He will stop our marriage if he finds out.”

My response was, “A corrupt person like that does not have the power to stop our marriage. We have much more power than he does. We already have the first part done. So what can he do?”

Shyni ended by saying, “You don’t know him like I do. You have no idea what he will do. He will make trouble, you can be sure of that.”

I got on the bus and headed “home”, I was not sure what to think. But I was certain I was not going to let this boy interfere with my life.

Stay tuned for the next installment of this story – The Kidnapping and The Wedding!

Love and Blessings,
Michael Skowronski
Author of Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story

Popularity: 5% [?]

A reader of my blogs sent me this interesting story. On the surface it makes sense, but if you look just a bit deeper you will see the flaws in its reasoning. These flaws in reasoning are common to all people living in our society today, and are the reason that we have the problems that we do have.

Please enjoy the story and then follow through by reading my comments on it…

Drug Problems - The Story

The other day, someone at a store in a small Midwestern town read that a methamphetamine lab had been found in an old farm house in the adjoining county and he asked me a rhetorical question, “Why didn’t we have a drug problem when you and I were growing up?”

I smiled and replied, “I did have a drug problem when I was a kid growing up on the farm in southeast Missouri.

“I had a drug problem when I was young:

“I was drug to church on Sunday morning.

“I was drug to church for weddings and funerals.

“I was drug to family reunions and community socials, no matter the weather.

“I was drug by my ears when I was disrespectful to adults and teachers.

“I was also drug to the wood shed and beaten savagely when I disobeyed my parents, told a lie, did not speak with respect, spoke ill of the teacher or the preacher. Or if I didn’t put forth my best effort in everything that was asked of me.

“I was drug out to pull weeds in mom’s garden, and flower beds, and cockleburs out of dad’s soybean fields.

“Those drugs are still in my veins and they affect my behavior in everything I do, say, and think. They are stronger than cocaine, crack or heroin, and if today’s children had this kind of drug problem, America might be a better place today.”

Drug Problems - The Flaws in Reasoning

Those people of yesterday are the leaders, the teachers, of those of us who are living today. They are the creators of the life and culture we live in toady. It is their teaching, that we can force others to do the “right thing”, which is the root of the problems we face today.

What is the “right thing?” Well that is another problem; the assumption that there is one “right thing” and that any individual knows what the “wrong thing” for another person is.

We each can only know what is right for us. And we each can only know what is right for us in this now moment. Tomorrow, next week, or next year that right thing may now be the wrong thing and the wrong thing may now be the right thing.

The perfection in life is in our evolution. Evolution comes as we are faced with our previous creations, and we decide what we don’t like, and from that is born greater clarity on what we do want to create. From that point on, we need to focus on what we do want, rather than on blaming and complaining and focusing on what we don’t want.

In the past, for the entire history of mankind it seems, we believed forcing others to do the right thing made our world a better place to live in. Yet, has there ever been a time when we did not see problems in our world, or in the people who inhabit it? Can you see that this belief has never worked?

Forcing others to do something, anything, says to them, “You don’t matter. Your opinions, ideas, beliefs, and desires don’t matter. We know better than you.” Repeated over and over, as a person grows up from a child to an adult, this message is hypnotic and creates low self-esteem in the individual who had different ideas.

People with low self-esteem are not playing with a full deck. They are confused, delusional, needy, angry, violent and insane. Sadly this is most of the people on the planet. They are not people who know what the right thing is for themselves, let alone for other people.

Yet it is precisely these same people, with low self-esteem who are dragging others about by the ears and forcing them to do the “right thing,” merely because they have enough physical power to do so.

A person with true self-esteem, true wisdom, true understanding of life, demonstrates their wisdom in the way they live. Others flock to them to learn their secrets. They are loved in ways that most of us can only dream about being loved. They lead others by their example. And they love others unconditionally.

Yes, unconditional love really does mean loving regardless of the conditions.

Do you know what Nelson Mandela did in prison? He treated his guards, the very people who kept him in prison and even abused him, as real people. He asked them about their families and conversed with them as friends do. He became the president of the very country that imprisoned him.

How about Gandhi? He would rather starve his own body than let the people he loved go on striking back at their abusers. Thus he led a nation to free itself from the tyranny of a foreign government. Millions of people in India got to learn firsthand, by personal experience, that all people matter, no matter what they say or do. The rest of the world got to learn by observing this process.

Jesus Christ forgave the very people who tortured and crucified him. He knew there was no such thing as death and thus he showed us all the impermanence of erroneous thoughts, and the permanence of Truth and Life itself. Two thousand years later we still hold him up as a prime example of what is possible for all of mankind.

To be continued…

Kind Regards,

Michael Skowronski
Author of Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story

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When I first began speaking to Shyni I was talking in broken English as I had become accustom to speaking with all of the locals that way. But when I asked Shyni a question she replied in very good English which surprised me. It turned out that Shyni spoke six different languages. After that we had an excellent conversation, Shyni was easy to talk to.

Shyni had worked as a nurse for ten years, some of that time she spent in Delhi, which is India’s Capital city. She was highly respected for her work (and now I too understand why), as Shyni told me a few stories of her work life, I was very impressed. She had done many selfless things, like canceling a vacation to help a young man who had a very bad accident. As Shyni was getting ready to leave for that vacation a doctor grabbed her and told her he needed her help in the emergency room. The surgery lasted nine hours. After this young man’s surgery was over, he had no-one else to take care of him and no money, so Shyni canceled her trip and spent the next few weeks nursing him. There was no romance; her actions came from her compassion. Her story brought tears to my eyes and I prayed to God that if she was not destined to be my wife that I find a woman just like her.

When I met Shyni she was just thirty years old which was sixteen years younger than me. And she was very beautiful. Even though I was concerned that this was still too young for me, I decided to get to know her better anyway. Of course Shyni is black, nearly as black as they come. She is a very spiritual woman and has a strong desire to help people. When she told me her birth date, I was happy because I knew it was reasonably compatible. Still I checked the numerology report, which gave a fantastic report. The only thing that the report left in doubt was how compatible we would be sexually, it cautioned us that our sex life might be the challenge for us. I knew I would have no chance to find out for sure before our marriage, so this did concern me just a little bit. In all other ways the report said it was a very good match…a match made in heaven.

The next day I took the report to Shyni and asked her to read it and verify that it fit her personality.

Most people are amazed at the accuracy of these reports; they think I have sent spies out to gather information about them. Even still, a few people don’t feel that the reports are accurate for them, so I wanted to check. Shyni confirmed that the report fit her like a glove, she laughed many times at the things it said because it was so revealing.

All of my life I told myself I would never marry a woman who I had not had sex with. I have met too many women who were not affectionate and not very good sexually. Yet here in India my chances of having any sort of intimacy before marriage seemed extremely remote. I was at the point where I had to decide…do I agree to marry Shyni and stick around to get to know her, or do I leave and never see her again? No one told me those were my choices, but I understood that it was so.

Everything else felt right. Intellectually Shyni fit into my life, but the feelings told me more. I was excited about having this woman as a partner. I felt like I was getting a really good, kind and loving human being for a wife and partner. However, the sexual thing was a very big deal to me. After all I am a Scorpio. By that time in my life I could feel if a woman had the hots for me. I knew with absolute certainly that if a woman wanted me in a sexual way I could feel it. And I was not feeling any sexual energy coming from Shyni.

Finally however, I decided that God would not put me in this situation, or that He would stop me before we committed, if Shyni would have no sexual attraction for me. So I made the commitment. I asked Shyni to marry me and she said yes. At most we had only spent about three hours together before we made our decision.

Shyni’s brother Shyam was the first person I met when I arrived at Shyni’s house that morning. He was working on the front porch on a pair of broken tablas. He shouted out something in Malayalam that I could not understand, and Shyni came to the door. Shyam did not look happy to see me. Actually he scared me just a little; he felt like a protective big brother. It turned out he was eight years younger than Shyni. I met Shyni’s mother. They called her Chechi which meant elder sister. Later I would experience strangers who were younger than Shyni calling her Chechi. Shyni’s mother greated me politely and then went back to her work in the kitchen leaving me to talk with Shyni.

I had met Shyni’s nephew Eju, a cute ten year old boy. I was told he was staying with Shyni, her mother and brother because of the school exams. Once they were finished he was to return to his parent’s house, which was three hours away by bus. After we agreed to get married, Shyni called her Sister, Eju’s birth mother, and told her the good news. Jessy was happy for Shyni and made arrangements for her and her husband Gopal to come to stay with the family in Kumily.

When I first arrived at Shyni’s house, before we had even discussed the numerology report, she gave me some disturbing news. Mohammad, a young Indian man who I knew, had been spying on us as we had our introductory meeting the night before. He was standing just outside of the window of Meena’s home where we were meeting and he was listening in on our conversation. Once I had left, Mohammad burst into their home and started shouting at them all, “What are you doing? Shyni can’t marry him. He is a very corrupt person. He had five wives and he killed them all. He will kill you too.”

I was shocked, but things were beginning to make sense now. I ran into Mohammad right before going to meet Shyni for the first time. He was someone I knew because he was friends with the owners of my home-stay. Also I had rented a motorcycle from him. Since he spoke pretty good English, I asked him to teach me a few Malayalam phrases that I could use in my conversation with Shyni. When Mohammad realized I was going to meet a prospective wife, he asked me, “Are you going to meet Shyni? I know where it is you are going. I know the woman who is arranging this. I am sure it must be Shyni that she is introducing you to. Do not marry her. She is corrupt. She is a very bad woman in this community.” At the time he said this I just blew him off. I knew I could sort out the good from the bad.

I did not understand why anyone would do such a thing, why they would want to interfere. But I was about to embark on a life lesson that still has my head spinning in wonder to this very day.

Why was it that everyone in Shyni’s family was so afraid of Mohammad? How would a motorcycle accident incite him to kidnap my brother-in-law and a family friend? How was it that the lovely couple who owned the home-stay I was sleeping at were involved in Mohammad’s corrupt little world?

Stay tuned to further installments of this story!

Love and Blessings,
Michael Skowronski
Author of Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story

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