Unforgettable Love Story

Continued from A Beautiful Vision for Re-Architecturing Our World…

The greatest power comes from people, their labor, their intellect, their skills and their love. Currently this massive amount of power is being harnessed and abused by a relatively small number of people. People with money and governmental powers are at the center of this abuse. We know that power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely. So giving too much power to too few people corrupts those people. This abuse of power is an extreme waste of our power. These corrupt people consume and waste too much of our resources. Thus we must stop allowing this to happen. We must distribute the power more fairly and evenly. We must have a way of auditing those who hold the power. Ever wonder why those with power want to watch us? We should be watching them!

People often ask me which candidate I support, who will I vote for? NONE of them! No matter how good the candidates are, the system is flawed and it corrupts them once they are in office! And if they don’t become corrupt, they are powerless in their office. We need a new system. Thus I have proposed some of these ideas for a new form of government in my blog called International World Government . Certainly the fine details need to be fleshed out, but the ideas in that blog are the basis for how we need to proceed.

Power comes in the form of wealth too. If you are wealthy you have the power to choose to work or relax. You have the power to dictate the directions corporations take. You have the power to hire people to work for you and engage in whatever projects you deem worthy. Some people acquire wealth by what seems to be a stroke of luck, but we know karma is at work. Some people acquire wealth by learning skills that make them wealthy. But should these people have the power to move our society in the ways that they currently are with this wealth they poses? Does their wealth make them wise enough to do so?

I do not want to blame the problems of the world on the politicians and the wealthy. We are ALL responsible. Karma, lack of understanding and failure to face the issues have all contributed to this situation we are in…both the good and the bad. For where we have come from, given the atrocities humanity has experienced, we are doing quite well actually. But we can do better…MUCH better than this.

The real power is in the people; not the few who are abusing power, but in the many who provide the real power. We need to harness the power of the masses, but these people are for the most part tired, hopeless, unaware, undereducated, and programmed with habits that keep them enslaved. Thus we must reprogram them, we must educate them, we must make them aware, and we must fill them with hope and relieve their tiredness.

Imagine a world where our children are taught ALL of the important skills they will need in life. Not just the ones our current systems are teaching, but the ones that are so clearly lacking. Like the value of true self-esteem and how to have it, creativity and how our minds create, the true history of the world instead of the myths that control us, how to create real wealth and not an imaginary one that enslaves us, how to get along in peace, how to care for our bodies and the basics of health, the arts, and of course marketable skills that serve the basic needs of our society as well.

Imagine a world where in each job there was a mentor and one or more mentees. Imagine how nice it would be if after you learn a job well enough to teach a few others how to do it, you could move on to learn a new job skill and do a new job until once again you taught a few others how to do it and moved on again. You would have more social interactions with others, a redundancy of labor that would allow you to work less hours and have more free time, a relief from the boredom of doing the same job for way too long, and an ever growing skill set which would give you far greater options in your life.

Imagine what it would be like if these same corporations also brought in experts in essential life skills to train its employees. What if training in mental, physical, and financial health were part of the job requirement of every employee? What if goals were set, mentoring provided and results were produced in all three of these areas for every employee? Would we as a society and the corporations themselves be worse off or better off for having put efforts into these areas as well?

I believe such changes in the focus of our schools and corporate world will turn people into responsible beings who are capable of running the social systems of the world in a loving and humane way. We would be able to vote intelligently, instead of on a whim or out of fear. We would have MUCH less illness and much less of the financial losses that go with illness. We would have clear minded people who worried less, accomplished more, and had more free time to relax and enjoy life.

Imagine a world where the corporations were mostly public, non-profit corporations. Where the incredible wealth generated by the corporate world went into funding public systems, roads and transportation, true education, health care, arts and entertainment, and the needs of all people worldwide. Imagine a world were taxation of the individual was unnecessary, no tax forms to fill out, no loop holes to search for, no money taken from our paychecks.

What would motivate such a shift? Right now the wealth and resources created by the labor of the masses are going into the pockets of only a few individuals, those people who are abusing power are corrupting the directions the powerful corporations are taking to be financially focused rather than focused on serving humanity as a whole. Imagine if this were to reverse how different this world would be for everyone. People who are waking up to the power they hold would make such a shift happen.

Who will run it? We ALL will run it. EACH OF US will take a turn…or at least a far larger percentage of the population than currently does. This mentor mentee relationship will extend even to the jobs of CEOs. Our jobs will evolve from labor to planning and architecting and taking responsibility. As we each learn new skills we each will learn how it all fits together, then many more of us will be capable of running the show. There will be far more experts instead of the relative few we have today. Abuse will be much easier to spot, and far more difficult to get away with, than it is today…and there will be less of a need to abuse the system due to the great life we all will have. There will be many others ready and capable of taking over the helm when we do need to remove a person from a position of power. Committees will be at the head of corporations and governments rather than presidents, prime ministers, kings or dictators.

Imagine a world where you can actually not work if you don’t want to. Currently, the way things are, if you are poor and not working we call you a bludger or homeless or a bum. If you are wealthy and not working we call you retired or lucky or a world traveler. We are already supporting those who do not work! But that seems to be invisible to most people. We are also supporting people who work but are so emotionally unstable that they really make more work for someone else who has to come along and clean up the mess they made. If we were to reorganize how our social systems work, how our education and corporations work, and how our governments work, we could afford to care for, feed, and provide housing and health care for everyone in the world even if they do not work a day in their life.

What then would motivate a person to work? Healthy people want something useful to do with their lives. It is the stress of our modern world that causes us to want to slack off. It is the boredom of doing the same job year after year after boring year that cause us to want to take this job and shove it. People would go to work because they love it. They would feel like they were contributing to the whole. They would have an immense social network that comes from the mentor and mentee system. They would be learning new things that would motivate them to want to get up in the morning and dive into it. And they would have greater financial abundance than a person who does not work and just lives off of the system.

Where will the money come from? From these corporations. Corporate officers decide their own salary or bonuses and get them even if they run the corporation into the ground. Why do we allow that? Look at how much money is stolen from us each day through the gambling that goes on in stock market. Why is this crime seen as acceptable? People gamble with the money that runs corporations which results in a skimming of the profits into their own pockets. It causes corporations to focus on financial rewards as the goal rather than on providing quality goods and services. Foreign exchange money markets are the same. Each financial exchange results in money being skimmed off into the pocket of someone who is basically spending their valuable time and labor resources stealing our money instead of doing something productive that will benefit us all. And the banking corporations too are misleading us and cheating us. We need to establish a public banking system, one where the details and management is public record instead of private and hidden from our view, one where it is easy for anyone to audit the system.

Imagine a world where religions and their ministers were prevented from teaching hatred, judgment, doing harm to others, and bigotry. What if a religion that taught “believe our way or you would suffer some punishment in the afterlife” was required to give an equal amount of time to teaching about all of the other conflicting religions that taught the same sort of thing? What if our schools taught the basic premises of all religions worldwide without giving too much focus or attention to any one of them? What if schools taught the provable concepts common to all religions, such as the rejuvenating and clarifying effects of meditation and contemplation, such as the creative power of the mind, such as we all have the ability to hear God speaking directly to us and that we do not need some sort of mediator between God and us, such as the power of love and wishing good things for others and the self destructive effect of wishing harm or judging another?

Imagine if being held accountable and liable did not mean punishment in the way we now have it with our current justice and prison systems. What if being held accountable meant you needed some extra training and education, perhaps it might mean a restrictive or lock up living situation, but with the resources to grow and change and understand? Of course lock up would be done in a much more humane and respectful way than it is currently done. I have gone much further into this topic in my blog, Crime and Punishment…Both are Insane!

To be continued…

Love and Blessings,
Michael Skowronski
Author of Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story

Popularity: 3% [?]

I got the following email from a friend and am answering it here in this blog…with her permission of course.

Hey Michael,

I am in a sort of internship I believe. I still have some issues of my own. Most of the abuse I have sustained was of the psychological kind and was done at the time when I was most absorbent (childhood). So… I feel that I have forgiven but that my next step is to accept that I will know this same harmful intent in others.

I think I am what is called a “sensitive”. I respond to the feelings of others…and yes, I have always said that I can feel the feelings of others. My problem is that I am not always able to determine that the feelings are not necessarily directed at me; therefore I ‘think’ they are. As a result I become angry or hurt.

In a way, that is the same as saying I feel responsible and that is not healthy.

I am NOW able to acknowledge when I feel extremely uncomfortable around others; when I sense their toxicity; their ambivalence.

Munga, you made a very good observation here. First of all it does not matter if it was directed at you or not. What matters is do you really deserve the energy being projected? Do you know? Are you clear enough to know?

Most people “think” that the words and perceived attitude of others are directed at them. This is a very standard assumption we all make. I still catch this happening in myself when my wife becomes unhappy. When she finally gets around to explaining it to me, it is due to something else. Either she is physically uncomfortable for some reason, or she is worrying about something else or somebody else in her family. Now my wife is pretty honest and owns her own stuff, but other people are not so honest, or worse don’t even understand their own minds and do not even know what it is they are thinking about. Other people may even truly believe YOU are the problem of the moment, and they project that energetically upon you or they project it quite vocally with words. So this causes most people to doubt themselves.

This is the point of work that needs to be done in many people who are sensitive and who will develop their sensitivity in the future. We need to be clear at all times about ourselves, who we are, what our intentions are, what we think and what we do. And when we do make mistakes, out of habit, and go against our true intention, we need to recognize that we have done so and take the steps necessary to reprogram our habits such that we come into alignment with our true intentions. Which I would assume is, to be loving and harmless in all of our thoughts and deeds. If that is not your intention, then guilt will surely follow you all the days of your lives!

UnforgettableBook.com

“THE BOOK IS SPECTACULAR…THOUGH I FIND MYSELF SOMETIMES LAUGHING..SOMETIMES CRYING AND OTHER TIMES I AM LAUGHING AND CRYING SIMULTANEOUSLY, OVERALL, I AM ENJOYING IT VERY MUCH…AND YOU’RE RIGHT MIKE IT IS A LOVE AND SPIRTUAL GROWTH STORY.”

– Granny Queen

Full book reviews can be found on Amazon.com and BarnesAndNoble.com

People think perfection is not possible. They say, “We are only human.” But when a person realizes that perfection is very simple then it becomes possible. I say that perfection is making it your intention to be loving and harmless in every thought, word, and deed and reprogramming your habits of thought, word and deed that go against that intention. For me making a mistake such as spilling the milk, or hitting the gas pedal when you meant to hit the breaks or some other such human mistake does not mean a person is not perfect. But to remain loving and harmless in the midst of anything that occurs, intentional or accidental, that is perfection.

When your intention is to be loving and harmless, and your habits nearly always reflect that intention, then it is easy to not take the energetic or spoken resentments and accusations of others as if you are at fault. If your intentions and actions are clear, then begin to remind yourself of this every time someone near you gets upset and you will soon find yourself at peace in these sorts of situations.

The other problem we face is we want the other person to understand us, to understand our intentions and to change how they view us and our actions. If this understanding does not come for them automatically it is not likely to come at all. We can argue with people, and try to convince them, but unfortunately even if they pretend to be convinced, in most cases they will hold on to their perceived experience and hold you responsible for whatever negative feelings they have. This may seem like a sad realization and a sad outcome, but ultimately our awakening and our clarity does lead us to increasingly better circumstances for ourselves. It really does not matter what other people think about us.

Recently, I had to get another job, for financial reasons. I have had to change jobs 3 times in the last three years. I am not someone who does this… I would like to find my niche and hang in there; my personality is such that I am loyal and tenacious. But…due to some odd circumstances, I have had to move on and continue to find work in other places. I have a lot to give to a company.

Odd circumstances, hmmm…sounds like the hands of God at work here. Didn’t you say you were in internship? Internship for what…running a corporation or healing the planet? Those who are waking up are indeed in an internship. And we are here at this moment in time to transform this planet. These shakeups we experience when we are so very close to enlightenment are those things that will shake loose those old habits of thought word and deed that no longer serve us. These shakeups give us the training necessary to understand what we are up against, and what our true job in this world is.

I found a job that looked like something I would like. With the right training, I could run this office like a well oiled machine. They hired me on the spot! I was pleased. But before the interview took place, I noticed that one of the co-workers (my equal) was very hostile towards me. Not overtly but passively. I felt terribly uncomfortable but kept telling myself not to be “paranoid”.

Be careful, be watchful, and be aware when you feel this sort of thing. Certainly the hostility is there. Not everyone wants their work environment to run like a well oiled machine. When they slack off, when they need time for themselves, it will be noticed. They will be resentful that you have taken this away from them. It is unfortunate but most companies don’t just give employees enough free time in their day to tend to their own needs. Thus we all create it and hide it in the cracks of the disorganization that exist.

I have been on the job for three weeks and the other person up and quit because she was so intimidated by my presence. This was so upsetting to me. I had done nothing to her but get hired! I am shy and reserved but friendly and kind… I know this about myself. I tried to be “nicer” to her, sensing her insecurities, but that only seemed to add fuel to the fire.

Problem is, if I am in the workplace; there is nowhere to go… there is often no choice but to hang in there. I’m sure others will say, “Quit the job” but that is not an option for me at this point. I just started!!! I kept thinking that this situation was one that I caused.

Yes, you are the cause. Your light is shinning too brightly and you give those who cower in the darkness nowhere to hide. So perhaps you should shrink back into the darkness, lie, cheat, and do a few evil deeds every once in a while so that you can be accepted. NOT! :^)

What is your job? Is it possible that in the course of your duties you may reveal something this person did that was wrong like some sort of embezzlement? Or were they frightened they would be seen as incompetent or too slow? Or is it that just having a nice person around made them sick?

I do know this…people are frightened, people are jealous, and people have low self-esteem. There are many reasons for this, but primarily and foremost is that it is NOT their intention to be loving and harmless in all of their thoughts, words, and deeds. If you dig deep enough into the reason they have low-self esteem you will find this issue is within them. For example, someone who has been abused could claim the low-self esteem is due to their abuse, but I say it is due to their desire for justice and judgment about what has been done to them and it could also be unhealed judgment of self due to their own past harmful and unloving intentions. Of course it is considered normal to want vengeance, but still it is the cause of the low self-esteem. We still have to get past our judgments if we ever expect to feel good about ourselves.

When your intention is to be loving and harmless then you know who you are and you feel good about yourself no matter what anyone says or does. This causes healthy self-esteem. It occurs over time as events occur and you witness yourself consistently responding in loving ways. Over time you receive internal guidance and you recognize your oneness with God and All That Is.

I know that is weird but you must know that women truly have different issues than men. With women, it is often about outward appearances; there is a vanity there in addition to everything else. This co-worker was morbidly obese, but then again, the three other employees (including boss) are also obese.

Certainly men and women face different issues; it is not so weird since we are biologically and socially different. A person who is generally considered physically beautiful does have to face the jealousy of those who are not generally considered physically beautiful. When the inner beauty is not there either, that jealousy comes out and can be felt.

Living in this world with other hurt people is not easy. There are no quick or fool proof solutions. I would love to be able to rise above the sickness in others, but I have a feeling that none of us is ever really healed, we just get better.

It is not easy, but it is possible…your healing can occur in spite of others who remain wounded! There are no quick solutions, but there are fool proof solutions. I just gave them above. It takes time, and it sounds to me like you are already on your way.

People are hurt, people are dysfunctional, and these are the facts of life. These wounded and dysfunctional people do seem to get in our way, they do seem to interfere with our lives, but we can change our focus and we can have peace and happiness no matter what is occurring in the outer world. I offer much advice along these lines in my other blogs such as Drowning in Worry and Reprogramming Yourself just to name a few. Over the course of our journey through life we gain much from even these experiences that challenge us.

When I realized that the co worker literally was directing HATE towards me, I tried talking to her in a tactful and gentle way. I told her I wanted us to get along and even enjoy working together. I felt good about what I said to her and felt I had done so in a loving and heartfelt way. Obviously, I should not have spoken about it to her because she merely became more resentful.

As you have found, most of the time talk does not cut it. You can’t talk your way out of being who you are. She hates you for who you are, a mirror that shows her who she is, which is a person she does not like. You are not willing and should not be willing to paint over your mirror with a pretty picture of who she is. Even your tactful and gentle talk mirrors back to her her own hatred and inability to be kind and loving.

I am not an overt, exciting person. I can’t walk in a room and uplift others by giving them extreme praise or making them feel wonderful. My personality is very calm and low key… but I smile and am friendly. This is the part I felt I had failed at. This is when, for a moment, I wished I were a different sort of person… one who could “win friends and influence people”.

To win friends and influence people by words alone or attempts to make them feel wonderful is a manipulation, it is fake and it is an energy that you do not want to engage in. When you are filled with your own sense of your true self, when your self-esteem is healthy and strong, when you are not frightened by the hatred, jealousy, and woundedness of others, when you trust life and that you ARE in the right place at the right time, you will walk into a room and uplift others by your mere presence. No words will be necessary. And those who are not uplifted will be those who are frightened by your light.

I think that I am a help to many of my friends… that they sense they are safe with me (and I with them) and we are able to help each other. But, that is not necessarily true of all relationships.

Agreed! You cannot help everyone. Not everyone will respond to you in the way you would like them to. Accept that and move on.

I wanted to be a help to my ex husband (while we were still married). (At first of course, I was very angry and showed my anger towards him). But after learning more, reading more, I tried to be loving and tolerant; knowing he suffered from alcoholism. But, to be honest, this change in me seemed to make things worse… now perhaps that is natural progression of alcoholism and nothing to do with me, but I was the one who had to eventually flee. Not for my life, but for my sanity. My already bruised ego hung perilously on the edge of a breakdown.

As we grow we must change our outer circumstances. It MUST occur and that is a good thing! We experience the pain of separation from the old, but wait…the new holds gifts for us. The new life circumstances contain many of the things we have been asking for.

I still question why my love wasn’t enough to help my ex. I still wonder why I have to “feel” the feelings of others. They only hurt for the most part.

Your love has helped, you just don’t see all the ways it has helped him yet. Your love wasn’t enough to “help” your ex because your ex has free choice. Your ex still has more to experience in the circumstances he chose for his life.

Do you have any thoughts on this? Or do you require money for your services? lol

Munga

I do not charge for my counseling services. I am especially grateful when someone allows me to be of service and allows me to post them in a blog so that others may be helped by the questions and answers.

Love and Blessings,
Michael Skowronski
Author of Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story
Also on Amazon.com and BarnesAndNoble.com…including awesome book reviews!

Popularity: 10% [?]

This blog was inspired while I was watching the movie Patch Adams with Robin Williams. There is a scene in the move where his girlfriend is killed because she goes to help a mental patient. The movie was based on a true story, and that particular scene reminded me so much of the real life experiences I have witnessed over and over again with folks who have been abused.

Like attracts like, but as we can see in real life, opposites attract too. Life is always striving to balance Itself out. A perpetrator needs a victim, and a victim needs a perpetrator. Are you a victim? Are you still feeling wounded from the pain you have suffered at the hands of a perpetrator? If so then I caution you to take care, take very good care. Energetically you are still a like magnet, attracting your opposite to you to work out the idea that you are a victim.

I am not saying this to be cruel. I am saying this in hopes that this advice will protect you from further harm. There is a very good book written on this topic, it is called Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood. I read it many years ago and since that time have witnessed the pattern in many people who have been abused. This book would help you understand yourself and how to heal.

In the movie this woman was abused and fell in love with Patch Adams who was an amazing healer. He was bold and crazy and funny and had unorthodox methods of healing…but they worked and he was loved by many as a result. In the movie she admired Patch and his ways and one day when she was alone she listened to a phone message from a mental patient who was crying out for help. She boldly went to his house to do what she could to help him and she was killed by him. I could see how she was trying to be like Patch…but she was not. She died because she tried to do more than she was ready and capable of doing. She attracted the experience to her like a magnet.

Another interesting point about the story is that when she first met the man she felt very uncomfortable and very uneasy with him. People who have been abused are hyper sensitive to abusers. I have had dogs I got from the pound that had been abused and they were very good at sensing harmful people and barking when they came around. Much more so than dogs I had that had not been abused.

Our feelings tell us about the intentions and energy of others. Thoughts create feelings. Harmful thoughts create feelings that are uncomfortable and painful. If we tune in we can feel the feelings of others. Did you know that? It really is quite easy to do. Most people don’t realize it because we have been taught we do not have this ability, so we don’t even try. Why were you taught that? Because people with harmful intentions don’t want you to know they have harmful intentions! But if you try, you will discover just how easy it is to feel the intentions of others. People who have been abused are more aware of what abusive energy feels like, they have more experience. They can feel harmful thoughts coming and they are more aware of those feelings. But still too many of such people ignore the feelings.

If you are one of those people you might just need validation of those feelings…so that is what I am doing. I want to validate that you can indeed feel trouble coming and that you should walk away from it. Even if your mind tells you it is something you want, even if other people discount your feelings and even if there is no physical evidence to back it up. Pay attention to your feelings!

In order to heal yourself, you need to work through your thoughts and feelings about what has happened to you. You need to learn new ways of thinking and looking at yourself and other people you experience in the world. You would do well to get some help with all of this. It could be professional help, but professional does not always mean competent. It could be the really strong neighbor woman who has long ago overcome her abuse issues and demonstrates much wisdom in her life. It could be that you read heaps and heaps of books on the topic until you have explored many perspectives on the issues and thought it all through so many times that you really have noticed a dramatic change in yourself and the sorts of people you attract into your life. Do not delay. Face the fears. Work through the issues. Somehow, some way, do the body work necessary to release the built up emotion that is held in your body. Massage, Reiki, Acupuncture, Acupressure, intense physical exercise, punching a punching bag, beating pillows, and other therapies like these can help you release the emotions held in the body.

This part bears repeating…you will know when you have healed yourself when you attract totally different sorts of people in your life on a consistent basis and when you are totally repelled by harmful people. If for some unexplainable reason you continue to attract harmful perpetrators into your life you still have work to do, you will not be safe until you complete this work. You cannot change the perpetrator. Perhaps I can help them change, if they are ready, but my point of attraction is that of a healer. Patch Adams was a healer; his girlfriend was a victim who was still not healed herself. Patch Adams was helping this mentally ill man gain moments of sanity; his girlfriend was giving this man an opportunity to commit further abuse. One day you may be a healer too…one day. Do not attempt to run before you can walk.

This goes for relationships too. If you have not healed whatever dysfunction that is in you that caused a past relationship to go bad, then you will be the most attracted to those who will help you see that the dysfunction is still inside of you. If you want a really great relationship it is not going to happen until you really and truly change. You just don’t have the point of attraction for a sweet and loving relationship when you have major dysfunctional ideas about life floating around in your head.

This blog was not meant to answer your specific question about a specific problem. It is meant to help you realize the necessity of NOT sweeping personality problems under the carpet. Anybody can heal themselves. There is so much help available these days; don’t let the lack of money stop you. There are plenty of people who will help you for free (like me for example). There are plenty of books that cover just about any topic there is. There are even heaps of self-help groups of many varieties available. Seek and you will find them.

Namasté
Michael Skowronski
Author of Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story

Popularity: 4% [?]

I would ask those of you who have seen the Golden Compass and liked it to read this blog since you are the audience I especially want to reach. I am sure that you have a heart, would like to see a world in peace, and would like to see a world absent of suffering due to poverty and corrupt governments.

This movie had a lot of controversy. Primarily it seemed to be Christians who objected to it due to some sort of satanic influence of demons and witchcraft and psychic phenomenon. Perhaps there were other objections, even those along the lines I will shortly state, but on MySpace they were drowned out by the Christians and anti-Christians bashing each other over conflicting philosophies.

I saw the preview online and was immediately turned off by the violence of the film. I decided against seeing it. But I continued to read comments posted about the film, some of which were by my friends on MySpace in favor of the film. So I decided that I should have an open mind, see the film in its entirety and then come to my own conclusions.

I thoroughly enjoyed the first half of the Golden Compass. I loved the idea of an alternative world where every human has an empathetic animal, which the writers of the film called “demons”. I expect if they were called “angels” there would have been far less Christians objections. It is sad really, that people can’t get past their labels and form their opinions based on the true nature of that which is being labeled because these demons were more like angels than demons. They reflected the state of mind and feeling of the human and vice versa. If the human suffered from a wound or was killed so did the demons suffer the same fate. If the demons were hurt in anyway the human suffered in the same way. People in our reality have become far too numb to their own suffering. Having such a demon might just be a good way for them to notice how much they really are suffering and prompt them to do something about changing it. We’ve learned to ignore our feelings too well.

It was the violence in this film that causes me to call The Golden Compass “a waste of mind.” All of the wonderful creativity of this alternative world was used to suck us into yet another violent film. Now I do understand that this world does indeed contain violence. To reflect it properly, there must be some level of it in our art, including films. But that is not what happens in films like this. What is happening is people who consider themselves good and righteous and loving and caring, consider this to be good violence. The bad guys are getting what they deserve. It is portrayed as the good fight. This “good fight” makes up far too much of the theme of the film and the alternative ways of changing the world are not even presented.

These types of films do great harm to the minds of the masses of the people in the world. They create in us a certain level of acceptability of the idea that violence is an effective tool for change in the world, when it is not that at all. To end violence, we must end violence. Period. We cannot end violence by using violence to do it. We cannot end corruption by enthusiastically engaging in the corruption of the film industry either. The hour and a half we spend watching such a film digs deep ruts in our minds which cause us to accept this idea and causes us to continue to act in violent ways to what we perceive as the villains in our lives. It causes us to believe in an us vs. them sort of perspective on life. There is no us and there is no them…we are all One!

Now I know there are plenty of people who are reading this and rolling their eyes, and it is you I wish to address here with these questions… What do you really know and understand about life? How much do you pay attention to the events that occur in your life and the thoughts you think? Do you own the negative events that are occurring in your life or do you blame them on someone or something else? How capable of loving others are you? How needy are you? What kind of impact do you have on others, is it positive or negative?

I have been paying attention to life and have come to understand it very well, especially the relationship between our thoughts and how it affects both our own inner experience and the events in the outer world. I know for a fact that we cannot create peace while focusing on violence and war. Watching such films is a focus on war. It carries over beyond the time span of the film. It enters our conversations with others. It forms our beliefs and opinions about life. And these thoughts do create the reality we live in. To continue to accept such films in our lives is to continue to accept war in our lives. We must reject them and encourage others to reject them too. I am NOT talking about legal bans on such films, I am talking about recognizing what they are doing to us and choosing to NOT watch them.

I would like to present the following as a concrete real life example of what I am writing about. I had a friend who responded to my blog titled Crime and Punishment…Both are Insane! She complained that her son was murdered and that she wished she had requested the death sentence for the perpetrators of the crime, as if that would have made up for the bullshit she went through with the court system and for the pain and suffering she felt at the loss of her son. When I looked at her profile I found out that her favorite TV programs, books and movies were about crime and punishment, they were murder mysteries. Here is an obvious point of attraction to the life she is living. I am not trying to say that everyone who engages in such entertainments will have murder enter their lives, but I am saying the suffering she is going through is exaggerated and prolonged by such entertainments. And this woman is quite ready to prolong the suffering of humanity by insisting that those who really need mental help receive abusive punishment instead. How is this different than the retaliation so common amongst terrorists?

We need to create and expand the market for a totally different kind of film. We need to ask for films that enlighten and empower us. We need to be inspired, uplifted, and educated by the entertainments we give our time and money to. We need to actively promote movies and other forms of art that take our thoughts in the direction we say we want our lives to go.

I am presenting here a very large list of films that you can rent on DVD that will inspire and uplift you. If you have not already developed a taste for such films, I encourage you to do so. For some this may be a difficult thing to do, since you like the feeling of the bad guy getting his ass kicked and have become addicted to films such as the Golden Compass. But I assure you that you can develop a new taste in movies and that it would greatly improve the quality of your life to do so. These are the sorts of films that will cause you to think differently and come up with creative ideas that can rid this planet of man’s inhumanity towards man.

The “Planet Earth” series and other nature documentaries can fill your mind with beauty and start you thinking about how amazing life really is.

“Amazing Grace” is a true story of how a British MP (Member of Parliament) was able to outlaw the slave trade. Some disturbing scenes are in it, but overall it is hopeful and shows what a few dedicated people can do, and also shows that big changes take time and persistence.

“The Ultimate Gift” an EXCELENT story of a spoilt rich young man who is transformed by the death of grandfather and the “gift” he left behind.

“Powder” although it is not a true story, in many ways it does show the kind of thinking and power that a person can attain to. Many masters had the sort of insight and compassion this boy had and even had their own amazing miracles…the miracles in “Powder” are a bit contrived however and some of them are useless.

“Michael” with John Trivolta. “Danny Deckchair” very funny, a good taste of Australia, romance. “Radio” a true story that is inspiring. “The Future We Will Create: Inside the World of TED” very inspiring! And check out the videos on TED.com…AWESOME! “First Do No Harm” inspiring true story of overcoming epilepsy. “The Elegant Universe” documentary series. “I am Sam” touching film about a retarded man raising a daughter. “Gandhi” very inspiring what a man on a mission can do. “The Color Purple” a woman overcomes being suppressed and mistreated by abusive husband. “End of the Spear” & “Beyond the Gates of Splendor” about the Waodani tribe of South America and how they overcame their violent nature. “The Simple Life of Noah Dearborn” inspiring story about a wise black man. “The Notebook” touching story of elderly care. “I Am David” inspiring story of the courage a young boy faces in war torn Europe. “The Brooke Ellison Story” true story of paraplegic girl who graduate summa cum laude from Harvard University (produced or directed by Christopher Reeve). “Emmanuel’s Gift” (produced by Oprah) a true story about a very powerful young disabled African man who transformed his nation’s ideas and government policies about the disabled. “Coach Carter” (a true story I believe) about a great teacher and basketball coach who transforms his students.

“Remember the Titans”, “Something the Lord Made”, “Just Like Heaven”, “Love’s Enduring Promise”, “1 Giant Leap”, “Life of Buddha”, “Experiencing the Soul: Before Birth, During Life, After Death”, “Indigo”, “Dalai Lama: The Soul of Tibet”, “Bend It Like Beckham”, “The War”, “Shall We Dance?”, “The Man in the Moon”, “Something’s Gotta Give”, “Philadelphia”, “Mona Lisa Smile”, “Steel Magnolias”, “Terms of Endearment”, “The Evening Star”, “The Other Sister”, “Origins: Nova”, “Unfolding Universe”, “World Almanac Video: The Expanding Universe”, “Magnetic Storm: Nova”, “If We Had No Moon”, “Marvin’s Room”, “Practical Magic”, “Little John”, “Fly Away Home”, “My Girl” 1&2, “Conversations with God”, “The Celestine Prophecy”, “As Good as It Gets”, “Places in the Heart”, “The Painted Veil”, “Smile”, “Shine”, “Ocean Oasis: IMAX”, “Sarafina!”, “The Associate”, “The Long Walk Home”, “A Walk in the Clouds”, “Mrs. Palfrey at the Claremont”, “Chocolat”, “Dreamer: Inspired by a True Story”, “Flicka”, “Freedom Writers”, “Mrs. Henderson Presents”, “Boys on the Side”, “The Prize Winner of Defiance, Ohio”, “The Gods Must Be Crazy” 1&2, “Driving Miss Daisy”, “Holy Man”, “Corrina, Corrina”, “The Mighty”, “Groundhog Day”, “There’s Something About Mary”, “Shiloh”, “Mandela and de Klerk”, “Raise Your Voice”, “Touching Wild Horses”, “Skipped Parts”, “A Walk to Remember”, “Joshua”, “Uptown Girls”, “Love Comes Softly”, “Sacred Planet”, “Mickey”.

These are just a few of the films I recommend. I took the list from movies I have rented from NetFlix. Certainly there have been many other such films I have watched prior to getting my NetFlix account. I would love to have a recommendation from you my readers for other films along the same lines as these.

Love and Blessings,
Michael Skowronski
Author of Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story
Also on Amazon.com and BarnesAndNoble.com…including awesome book reviews!

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Where are you going in your life? Are you seeking heaven or hell?

If you are seeking hell, then judgment such as the title of this article will take you there quicker than the actions of those in the title. Wait now, don’t close off and run away…even if you differ in opinion, and you have a right to, for your sake read this full article and take it all in. Then experiment in your own life with these ideas and in time you will discover the truth. Are you willing to discover truth and move beyond belief?

If you are seeking heaven, if you are seeking a peaceful life, if you want to make this planet a safe place for our children to grow up in and play, then this article will show you how to create that in a very practical way.

First let’s get this point straight…Judgment, Hatred and Anger will take you to hell faster than anything I know of. Believe me I speak from personal experience. I have been working through these issues for many years now. I have made great progress and most people that really know me consider me quite advanced in how I handle difficult situations when compared to the majority of people in the world. But that is not good enough for me. I want perfection in my personality. I want never to respond or react in judgment, never in anger, and never in hatred. And I believe that is attainable based upon the progress I have already made and the shining examples set forth by other masters I have studied.

God gives us what we ask for. And for the last year I have been asking to heal this issue in me totally. And God has been answering my prayers in spades! In the last year events that triggered such strong negative emotion within me have been occurring ever more frequently, thus giving me the chance to work through my issues. Things like being setup by six people at Microsoft to be fired from my job, because they were jealous of me as published author. The games began after I advertised at work and having read at least some of my book they knew it would be successful. Another example is a housemate who was jealous of my relationship with my wife Shyni. She put dishwashing soap in our food when Shyni left the room, hoping I would fight with Shyni over the horrible meal. A different jealous housemate tormented us for weeks and tried to get us evicted from a home we had been renting a room in for six months. She had been there only two months, eventually after only a verbal confrontation from me, she called the police and claimed that I assaulted her (I certainly did not) and got me thrown into jail, twice…for a total of six days and four nights. And the list goes on.

Okay, so don’t worry. This is not the path I suggest you take. My goals are probably different from yours. Most people would simply like to have a life of peace, comfort, abundance and love. That is pretty simple to acquire and does not require such stringent work on self. My goal is Samadhi, divine and complete union with God, while still in the physical body. My goal is conscious control and ability to enter this state at will. Perhaps you think I am dreaming, but I have had a taste and I want more. Thus I am not afraid to face the darkness that still lives inside of me. I am in the process of reprogramming myself and I know that God will not give me anything that I cannot handle. To learn how to reprogram yourself click here …don’t be afraid to reprogram youself, you get to choose your own goals!

Getting back to the main point of this article…Judgment, Hatred and Anger will take you to hell faster than anything I know of. Believe me I speak from personal experience. During these extra difficult situations I found it difficult to keep my mind clear and loving. Judgment, Hatred and Anger all slipped in and took me for a ride. I lost control of my mind. Usually I am very much in control. Normally I let my feelings, especially negative emotions, alert me to the fact that I am thinking incorrectly. I stop my thoughts and deliberately go through my memories for more pleasant experiences to bask in until I feel good again. I do this all of the time and it works wonders! Peace returns and I have power and abilities beyond ordinary men…not a joke, I am totally serious.

But somehow, these extra difficult circumstances caused me to feel justified in my Judgment, Hatred and Anger. During these traumatic events I found it extremely difficult to change my focus. While sitting in jail I kept imagining myself beating that woman so badly that she would remember it for life. While in jail I had spoken to my wife, who was still in the house with that woman, and Shyni was being harassed without mercy, without me there to protect her. And it was not just the one housemate at this point; she had turned everyone else in the house against us too. So my mind was going crazy. Justifiable or not, my thoughts still ruined my experience of life while I contemplated them. They still pumped harmful chemicals into my bloodstream thus reducing my physical vitality and making me more prone to long term illnesses. I could feel it. I had not felt so horrible in years. Normally I am in a state of deep love, deep appreciation. Normally I am happy, peaceful, kind, and helpful. So the contrast was dramatic. A very clear lesson to me, and one I eventually worked through with much effort.

Our Judgments, Hatred and Anger have no benefit to us whatsoever. They will not benefit anyone in this world. They will only poison us, they will poison others. We will set a bad example for our children and those who look up to us. How many people lie in hospital beds right now suffering from cancer? It has reached epidemic proportions. I know people, I know them very well; most people hang out in Judgment, Hatred, and Anger way too often, way too long. Too much of the hormone cortisol is secreted into our blood stream at stressful times like this…cortisol has been linked to cancer and to Alzheimer’s disease. Do you want those diseases? Do you want to teach your children how to contract those diseases?

By contrast…our Love will heal everything that needs healing. Our compassion will help us see clearly what really can work to heal ourselves and our planet. Our acceptance of the trials and difficulties we co-create with God, through our own past erroneous programming and present negative thinking, will cleanse us of our sins, our negative karma will be washed away, our point of attraction will change such that we receive love and support and kindness from others. This too I have MUCH experience with. Please read my book and you find overwhelming evidence to this effect.

So if you feel justified in your Judgment, Hatred and Anger, please reflect back on what I am teaching you. We must all learn from our own experiences, this I understand. Go into judgment full force, get angry, hate…and feel how it feels. Do you like it? Do you attract beautiful things and events into your life when you are in Judgment? OBSERVE. And then Reprogram Yourself.

Even the Drug Addicts, even the Prostitutes, even the Child Molesters, even the liars and the cheaters, need the space to experience and understand life… And we must allow them to learn from their experience. We must help them, not hurt them. We must clear the logs out of our own eyes before we attempt to remove the splinters from theirs. We must own the pain in our own lives, the pain does not come from others; the pain comes from where and how we focus our minds. Keeping this lesson in mind may just rescue you from your next painful situation much faster. I hope it does. That is the reason I am sharing such personal information.

We are All One Being. I love myself. And I love You. Please be well.

Love and Blessings,
Michael Skowronski
Author of Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story

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Well for some it is true that Life is Like a Car Crash. And that is unfortunate, because Life does not have to be that way. Yet living life by accident is the only option available to one who does not understand how life works.

Don’t you wish to expand your options? Well perhaps I am preaching to the choir here, because if you are reading my posts you probably are Expanding Your Options Now. That is what my teachings have to offer, expanded life options.

My wife had driven this very same loop at least ten times. This time I was letting her make the right turn herself. I was trying not to compensate for her over steering. We were creeping along so slow anyway. But when she was just about to hit the curb I shouted, “Shyni Stop!” And that is when she floored it!

Up the curb, quickly gaining speed, through the picket fence, heading straight for the solid cement corner of the garage, I thought, At this speed we will certainly plow right though into their living room. It was all happening in slow motion. I did not even have my seat belt on.

Then somehow, the car made a dramatic turn to the left, barely missing the garage, our lives seemed somehow to have been pulled out of some nightmare that should have happened but did not. Pedal to the floor, still gaining speed, we blew through the picket fence further down the garden. It flew across the street. At which point I reportedly slapped my wife on the back of the head and said, “The breaks, for God sakes the brakes Shyni!” I don’t really remember that part, but she did. Fortunately she found the breaks.

The house owners run out of their house and the wife said, “Is anybody hurt? What happened? Oh my God look at my garden. Look what she did to my garden!” And the husband said, “Honey, go into the house and call the police.” So the wife went inside to call the police. Thank God. Neighbors came out, the police came, by then all was worked out, details exchanged. Hysterical neighbor wife calmed down. We went home.

I never realized how dangerous it was teaching someone to drive. A simple slip of the foot, no built in automatic reaction; too much happened too quickly for either of us to think. We could have killed someone.

Now it would have been easy to blame my wife and shout at her. In the past I would have. It would have lasted for days, weeks, months or longer. But I’ve grown past that, and it took a lot of work too, but that is not the topic this time…

The reason this happened is because when the sh!t hit the fan my wife had no driving skills to fall back on. She was stuck. What happens when the sh!t hits the fan in your life? How do you react? How long does it take you to recover from the event? How much extra work or hardship did you make for yourself because of your reaction?

My wife has not even learned to ride a bike. So her skills of dexterity in motion have not been developed. The safest thing for her to do is to get her practice in a car with dual controls. And a lot of practice is what she needs. There is nothing wrong with her. She just needs practice to train her body. Then her automatic reactions will be the ones that will keep her safe behind the wheel.

And this is true about you and the other people in your life too. There is nothing wrong with you, you are not inherently broken. But unfortunately you have training that does not serve you. Perhaps it did at one point in your eternal life, but it does not serve you now. So you need new training and you need to practice your new skills.

Hey, I will make you a deal…I will provide the training if you will practice. So check out my blogs which offer the wisdom of the ages. There is a secret. Well it is not really a secret, but most people have disrespected and discounted this wisdom so much that it might as well be a secret. For as far back as there is recorded history in any civilization there are stories and teachings of masters who have passed down the secret to their mystical powers. These stories all tell the same secret and if you follow these time proven practices, you too will discover the secret in your very own life.

I hope you will join us on this fantastic journey of Self discovery and awakening. Don’t crash your life, it will just be more work to fix it up and get it running smoothly again. Be proactive, study, and practice. Take it from me, someone who knows from personal experience. Nothing you do with your life will benefit you more.

Love and Blessings,
Michael Skowronski

P.S. My book Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story is not just an entertaining love story. It is also a book filled with time proven wisdom that teaches by real life example. This is a true story of powerful personal and spiritual transformation.

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One of the most common things I hear people say about meditation is, “I have tried many times to sit down and meditate, but I just can’t seem to get my mind to be quiet. No matter what I do it never works, my mind just wanders off onto many other things. I wish I could be like others who love meditation and get so much out of it. But I just can’t do it!”

If this is your problem, join the club, you are amongst the majority and this blog is written especially for you. If you are seasoned in the art of meditation, practice regularly, and enjoy meditation, then please post a comment that expands on what I have to offer here. Other points of view especially from those who are seasoned mediators would be really helpful to those who are reading this blog.

Have you ever noticed that masters refer to meditation as a practice? Meditation is a Practice! It is exercise for the mind, an exercise to gain control of the mind. For most people the mind goes wherever it will, without control of the owner. It is like the servant is ruling the master. You need to become the master of your mind; you need to direct the mind in where it is going.

The mind controls your feelings. Whatever you think of has a corresponding feeling…is it a good feeling or a bad one? Law of Attraction brings to us people, things and events that match our thoughts. At a much deeper level, at the level that you and I are God, we actually create all of manifest creation, all of the dimensions of life including the physical dimension.

The human brain is not the same thing as the mind, however the brain and all manifest form is created by the mind. You can think of the brain like a computer, it has an operator. Sure the brain can process thought, but the thought that is injected into the brain, the input of ideas and creativity, comes from the mind. And of course mind is created by God, for those who wish to insist that God is creating everything.

The ultimate goal of meditation is to move beyond the physical into the non-physical and into divine union with God. This requires shutting down the mind and the various sensory inputs. I have read accounts from more than one master who says that the reason so many people report spiritual experiences on heavy doses of drugs is that they are essentially breaking the mind, cracking it open, and revealing a glimpse of the dimensions beyond the physical. But unfortunately most people under the influence of drugs have no control of their minds which is the reason the experiences are so out of control and even harmful. And then there are others, take Ram Das for example, who had some control of his mind and came back from his drug trips with very enlightening wisdom to share with the world. A person may be able to hide his inner insanity, to some degree, while clean and sober, but while under the influence of drugs or alcohol, he reveals the real chaotic state of his mind.

For most people, the goal of mediation should be to simply gain control of the mind in order to live a happy life. Do NOT worry about trying to still the mind completely. The reason I say that is because most people are satisfied to be in the physical world and enjoy physical things. Most people want things, perhaps wealth, perhaps fame, perhaps a hot lover, perhaps they want loving children and certainly physical comforts. Most people want life to run smooth and for changes to be under their control. Perhaps they would like to know God too, but they are content to wait until they die to discover heaven. There is nothing wrong with this. There is a reason we incarnate in the physical world, and that is to play in and experience what the physical world has to offer.

There is another type of person who is trying to perfect themselves, or pay off their karma, in order to escape the pain of physical life. (Now please do not get the idea that I am judging a person who thinks this way, or anyway for that matter. I am simply stating observations from my experience and NOT assigning a value to it.) My first efforts at meditation were highly motivated by this sort of thinking. This person may be trying to know God, but the reality of it is that they are still very much attached to the physical world and would be quite happy to be here if everything was going well in their life. They will certainly re-incarnate once again. Again for this sort of person, the goal of mediation should be to simply gain control of the mind in order to live a happy life.

Then there is the person who has done it all, or all that they really want to do, over many lifetimes. They have discovered that the external objects of the world hold little or no meaning for them. They have discovered that they can be happy anytime they wish. They can still enjoy things of the physical world, but they can also enjoy being without these things. They are no longer motivated by chasing these things; they are motivated by discovering who they really are and what their relationship to God is. This sort of person already has a great deal of control over their mind, they already understand the relationship between their thoughts and what those thoughts create and attract. The goal of mediation for this sort of person should be to still the mind in order to move beyond the physical while still having a physical body.

I want to stress that there is no right or wrong in being in any of these places in your eternal life. You are where you are, it is best to accept that and move through life content and happy to be who you are and where you are. It is all in divine perfection. Too many religious or spiritual people try to force a stage of practice or development on themselves or on another person that is not right for them and their place in their eternal life.

Also don’t take everything I am saying here as absolute truth. I am now discussing things that I have some experience with mixed in with some divinely inspired intuition and book knowledge based on the writings of masters far more advanced than I. Normally I like to teach from a safe place, from my own personal experience, but to do this topic justice I must go a little further out on a limb. I have reached some pretty deep states, but they were a gift from God and not a highly developed skill that I have. Those experiences were a prod to make me reach harder for a state of mind I previously doubted existed.

To be continued…

Love and Blessings,

Michael Skowronski

Author of Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story

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This blog is a response to a friend’s request for help. She has given permission to use her question and my answer in this blog. Here is her question…

“For the past many months my life has being going downhill. I have been trying to save money for a house, but it is not working. I have left two jobs in the past four months; I have even tried to work from home, but still no luck. For past seven years I have been a single parent, left on my own with eight kids. My saving are going down not up! I just turned 46 recently and all of a sudden I had this burning desire for a man to come into my life, to comfort me, and to lift my burden of having to always be on my own. I would like to try and achieve something with someone special in my life, and for it not always to be me working hard and not getting very far. But Michael I am still waiting. I feel so lost and I don’t know what to do, or if I will ever find someone that will be true to me and my kids.”

Here is my answer to my friend and all of you who suffer from similar problems…

I have compassion for you. I understand how it can feel like there is no way out. But there is a way out, and it is all contained in your own mind and thought processes. First I want to echo back what you said with some comments, and then I will get down to suggesting a path of recovery.

“My life has being going downhill.” I expect that is how you think and feel about your life and yet it is NOT the true facts about it. Your life is what you have created, what you have hoped for, asked for, dreamed for, and worried for…yes worried. Our worrisome thoughts are just as creative as our conscious deliberate thoughts, even more so since they run on automatic pilot and often go on and on for hours on end, day after day…and the conscious ones are held for only a few moments at a time, and probably days go by before you remember to dream a creative dream. So you have created this and likewise you can create something else.

“Eight Kids…” Wow you did set yourself up for a challenge! How much help are the kids? How much trouble? With the right resources and training you have yourself a small company! How many of them are up for the challenge of creating an internet business? Or some other sort of business? Just an idea.

“If I will ever find someone that will be true to me and my kids…” That too can be a challenge, most men would run screaming from such a situation…or enjoy you for as long as they can and then leave once it starts getting difficult or serious…but still it is not impossible to attract a man who will help…but having a man to help is not the only way to cope with this situation. So don’t be attached to that idea.

“My saving are going down not up!” That would be a scary picture to look at for almost anyone. You need something positive to be looking at when it comes to finances and this is not it.

“I turned 46 recently.” I hope that does not mean that you believe it is all downhill from here, or “what can possibly be left in my life if I still don’t have a solid relationship?” It is easy to think that way, but that is one of the kinds of thoughts you must catch and stop.

“A man to come into my life, to comfort me,” no one else can truly comfort you. You must learn to comfort yourself. Indeed someone can comfort you for a moment, but it won’t be long before their comfort will cease to sooth you and your worried mind will take over and ruin your life experience once again. They too will become a burden and cease being a comfort.

“And to lift my burden of having to always be on my own.” Someone else cannot lift your burden. Your burden is your worry and your attachment to your desire for something you do not have, not your life circumstances. There is nothing wrong with desire, but
attachment to the where and when and how it will show up will definitely cause you to suffer. Hold desire without attachment.

“And achieve something with someone special in my life.” Having a partner can be nice, or it can be hell…but you want a partner that has strength and courage and honesty and integrity and ability…is that right? Be sure you are clear about what kind of partner you want, and NOT someone who has just been released from jail or who prefers to hang out at the local pub with his mates. If you are clear you won’t waste your time with the wrong sort of bloke and you will know when the right one comes along. If all you want is a little sex and play and touch for a few hours, nothing wrong with that by the way, then be clear about that when it happens and make sure he does not hang around like a lost puppy.

“And for it not always to be me working hard and not getting very far.” When the work is hard, it is because you are swimming upstream. When you stop doing that then it will stop being hard work. You must learn to go with the flow. It may seem like the flow is not taking you where you want, but that is impossible…the flow is always going where you want, it is your vision that is limited. You have not yet learned how to trust Life so you go against it.

“I am still waiting.” Stop waiting and make yourself happy now. Never wait, make yourself happy in each moment. Then with each passing day count the blessings you do have, and the desires that have become manifest. That is much more fun.

“I feel so lost and I don’t know what to do.” Your thoughts are attacking you. You believe something has gone horribly wrong in your life. Make yourself happy. That is what you need to do!

Okay so I have picked apart the things you have written. I hope I did not offend you, that was not my intention. You need to learn how to do this very same thing for yourself. First write out your problem, then go back and read your own words, your own thoughts, and find out what is wrong with them, but more importantly challenge them with thoughts that feel much better.

There are two approaches you can take…1) going after financial resources and a man to help…or 2) going after happiness. If you take approach 1 you will be waiting a long time to be happy. But if you take approach 2 YOU CAN BE HAPPY ANYTIME YOU WANT TO BE HAPPY! And you can still attract the financial resources and a man at the same time. So I suggest approach 2.

To be continued…

Love and Blessings,

Michael Skowronski

Author of Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story

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This is the last part of the series entitled Reprogramming Yourself. Its second installment is Reprogramming Anger.

Recently (November 2006) I have been getting very angry at the dangerous Indian drivers. We just purchased a car two months ago and with our business workings I have been driving in India much more often and much further. I have ideas of what a safe and considerate driver should be based on my experiences in America and Australia. Indians are not like that. In some ways I like the freedom from over-regulation that Indians enjoy, but too many drivers drive very dangerously or without consideration of anyone else on the road. Coming only inches from being hit by a driver who is traveling in the opposite direction at very high speeds are common occurrences. Having someone cut a turn right in front of you with no time to stop is a common occurrence. People walking in the street, with no regard for their own safety, animals, large rocks and other objects, large potholes, all add to the stress.

Just one example of how this came to a head for me and made me begin to deal with it happened in early November of 2006. I was driving home from Kottayam (a 3 hour drive). I had three different drivers get in my way for no reason while I was trying to pass them. They were going slower than I wanted to go; I drive a safe but brisk speed. I had signaled with my horn as usual. And they responded by moving into the middle of the road preventing me from passing them. They had no apparent reason for doing this. There were no blockages on their side of the road. It was not a curve. There were no oncoming vehicles. What I was trying to do was usual and expected driving behavior there in India. I believed they were blocking me on purpose and I got quite angry. I began accumulating these offenses and thinking about pulling one of them over, yanking them out of their cars, and beating them in the street. I spent a fair amount of time thinking these kinds of thoughts, never really intending to do so. Also I was accumulating judgment about all of the other oncoming busses, trucks and even cars that were driving in my lane when there was plenty of room in their own lane. The anger in me built up.

Then it happened… I was passing a bus in a very safe manor on wide open road. I had nearly gotten past the bus when I heard it lightly hit the left rear bumper of my car. I went into a mad rage. If I had thought about it I would have known he did no damage to my car. He did not affect my course of driving at all. But all of that built up emotion enraged me. Somehow I grabbed the parking brake lever and pulled it up. I never use that, except for parking and starting out on a hill. I don’t know why I pulled on it. That type of break locks into place. You have to push a button to release it. Because of the speed we were driving and not really understanding what I had just done I did not have the presence of mind to release the break. This caused me to spin my car and land on the side of the road in tall grass and weeds up against a hillside.

I got out of the car in a furious rage. I went to the bus driver’s window, climbed up, reached in and smacked him in the face. I didn’t slap him very hard, but it was insulting. Then I broke one of his windshield wipers off and threw it in the street. He got off the bus and I threatened to beat him. About twenty other men got off the bus and they were all threatening to beat me. I am sure they did not even know that the bus driver hit me. All they knew was that I spun my car and then smacked the driver for it and then continued to abuse him verbally. It was really crazy. Eventually my wife Shyni got me to calm down and we left. Thank God there was no real damage to our car or to us.

I had already been doing work to get over my anger at all of the people and cows who hang out in the road, and especially those who don’t move even when honking the horn right next to them. I had done pretty well with keeping myself calm with them. I had been telling myself that, “Everyone has a right to use the road. These people are God too.” And other things like that. It was working.

But it seemed that I just could not get over my judgment of the other drivers whose actions were dangerous and un-courteous. Well I wasn’t trying either. I felt justified in my mind that their actions were wrong and that my ideas about driving were right. Until this event occurred. After that I realized that God was prodding me through that bus driver and all of the other drivers too. It became very clear because the bus driver really did nothing to me, nor did the other drivers. But my judgmental thinking made me slap a man, which hasn’t happened to me in over 20 years. My anger nearly killed Shyni and me when I spun our car. And even after we were safely stopped, with no real harm to us or the vehicle, my anger nearly got me beaten by a mob of angry men from the bus.

In my life I have learned, more than once, and in more than one way, that if I expect the world to change, or even any single person or event to change, because I did not like it or because “I was right and they were wrong” that I would make myself miserable. And unless I catch each thought of judgment and criticism and change them, then those thoughts would slowly build up and eventually flare up in anger at some specific person or event that probably did not even deserve the anger that was heaped upon them.

It is a big job, but we must watch each and every thought and change the ones that do not serve us. Even if it is possible to evoke a change in the outer world, we must still let go of the judgment and go about changing it from a place of love and the sincere desire to be of help. I so wish I could change Indian drivers, but I cannot. There are millions of them. If I change one, or even fifty, still there will come another and another until I have wasted all of my energy, and still they will keep coming. We must use logic and reason to convince our minds to let go of its judgment, hatred and anger. We must come to recognize where our true safety lies and that is in God. There are no random events. Nothing happens in our reality that we have not earned or created with our energy.

So now when something I don’t like happens on the road my practice is to remind myself, “Nothing really happened, I made it safely. God is watching out for me. Dear God, bless them with awareness of how it is they are driving and how dangerous it is. Help them to learn to drive safely.” When I catch myself moving into judgment I remind myself about what happened and what could have happened. I remind myself of the power of my mind and stop my mind from creating violent revengeful thoughts.

The Miracle - This worked and very powerfully so…I made at least ten more long distance drives like that in India since that incident. Each time I was able to maintain this practice. Each time I kept my peace of mind. Before starting on a long journey I even paused in the driver’s seat long enough to set my mind clearly on the thought process I wanted. I prayed for all the drivers on the road to drive safely while in my presence. I prayed for them to be aware and courteous. I reminded myself that I no longer needed to police them, not even in my mind; I gave that up to God.

It was a miracle! That is exactly how my drives have been since that time. I am sure those same crappy drivers are still on the road doing their same stupid things, but not while I was around. The real world changed as a result of changing my mind. This change persisted in every single drive I made since that time, which was many. The difference in driving experiences was so remarkable that every family member who has driven with me has noticed. Certainly they noticed how much calmer I was, but more than that they noticed that the outer world changed too.

Making that change had a ripple effect in my psyche. I now calm down much quicker in other situations where anger is rising in me even if I feel justified in my perspective on a situation. We shall see what else Life has to reveal to me and in what other ways anger might try to find expression in my life, but for now I know a dramatic change has taken place within me and it is a welcome one.

One by one, piece by piece, we whittle away at our unwanted personality traits and develop new ones that serve us in ever more powerful ways.

Love and Blessings,
Michael Skowronski

P.S. That is not the only time the outer world changed as a result of my inner change. I will admit that was one of the more dramatic ones. I tell many more stories like it in my book Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story. These type of coincidences are (nearly) a daily experience for me. They probably do occur daily, but I still have further to go at being aware enough to notice them all.

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This is the last part of the Life Coaching Transcript for Laurie. Here are its first and second part.

Laurie said:

…We are all going in together to share a booth at the local New Age Expo here in November, and now she dropped out of participating in that… bla bla bla (no insult intended) … but it’s like she wants it to go just HER way instead of allowing every to have equal say as a TEAM.

Do you really want to be involved with that energy when you present your skills to the public? Or is this a learning experience whose time has passed? Or can you let it all go, and just bring your sweet loving energy to the expo and stand out amongst the crowd?

Keep asking yourself such questions and go with the answer that feels the best to you.

Laurie said:

…In my additional defence, I’ve gotten strong feedback from at least 3 others in the group that she is the one out of line and I have not done ANYTHING wrong.

Of course that is the case. Whenever anyone is expressing strong emotional feelings it is theirs and only theirs. It’s a good thing to remember when it is you that is ranting and raving too! Your part in it is that you simply still believe you are less than others and deserve to take a beating for it.

Laurie said:

…But after exchanging heated emails, she called me and the conversation left me with that feeling of someone trying to assert their own viewpoints on me

Your participation in this is your own doing. Don’t respond. I know how hard that is, but look where the choice you made got you. Learn from this and cut these sort of things short!

Laurie said:

…but it leaves me with that feeling like as a kid, when your parents spank you “for you own good because I love you” — does that make any sense?

Anytime someone is taking on the strong emotionally charged accusations of another it is because of earlier wounding and a low sense of self-esteem. The fix for this is to focus your attention elsewhere and remind yourself that…Whenever anyone is expressing strong emotional feelings it is theirs and only theirs. The more you do this the less attractive you are to people like that. But the best part is that you discover that there are more and more nice loving people out there who own their own feelings and don’t blame you for their problems.

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