Relationship Advice - Spiritual Healing

While conversing through comments on The Golden Compass blog with my friend Caryl I came to find out about her situation with her daughter who had cancer. Because the conversation in that blog got off topic and because of a statement that I made regarding how our thoughts are creative spurred the following statement from Caryl I thought I would write this blog to help clarify in greater detail how our thoughts create and how Law of Attraction actually works in relationship to diseases such as cancer. (This blog DID HELP Caryl. She was grateful that I wrote it!)

“One more thing I have heard you repeat, that does somewhat bother me, is that you say (loosely paraphrased here) — our thoughts bring about the experiences, hardships, etc. that come our way. Neither my child nor I thought about disease or anything negative of this type to manifest this experience. It was shocking and far from anything we’d consciously or subconsciously think about. So, I’m hoping you mean that a lot of things can surface from our thinking, rather than all.“

As I began to answer this question it too went somewhat off topic, actually a new topic arose, one which will answer the questions of many people about many issues in their lives. I posted that blog and called it Evolution of a Soul (click here to read it).

A few days after posting that blog Caryl said, “This is a great blog… A lot of answers, to questions I asked of you, are within it… and beyond. Thank you :)”

So go and read that blog! It will give context to the answers I am giving here. Even still I want to answer Caryl’s other questions and an email she sent me a bit more directly and with more specifics regarding disease.

Here is the last email Caryl sent me about this topic along with my comments…

“My Daughter doesn’t exhibit a lot of stress in her life. She is unaware of the new findings, though. There’s nothing that can be done at this point and I wanted to let her get through Christmas and her birthday, worry-free, before we deal with anything we may have to in the near months. Her birthday is January 3rd and she will be 18. She was diagnosed the October before last, at age 16. She was in kidney failure and later developed an intestinal blockage, as well as many other chemo related complications…line infections, allergic reactions, and a whole lot more. We spent 4-1/2 months in the hospital, through all of the holidays last year and her 17th birthday, which she was in the Oncology ICU at the time. She went through 15 surgeries…5 rounds of aggressive chemo…illness, etc. in that short time. But, today, she is much better. She was very close to death upon her initial hospital admission. After her release from treatment, she was admitted again, due to a severe drug withdraw, which almost took her life again…the doctors forgot to wean her off of a drug. So, all in all, I should be elated that she made it through so much, a couple of close calls, and more…and, I was…and her future looked bright, to suddenly be dulled again by a ‘possible’ recurrence. I know I should be happy she’s not in a ‘true’ recurrence…but, I’m stuck, as I’ve said before.

“I understand it’s my own doing, my own thoughts, and it’s of no use to myself or my daughter. I know this…something is keeping me attached to the fear and worry, though…And, I fear I will be the cause of a negative outcome, over a positive one that she stays well. Part of why I questioned your words about our thoughts leading to outcomes we create…One thought leads to another and begins to spiral out of control. I understand this…and, I understand I have the power to control it, however I don’t understand why I’m not”

Your lack of control is a matter of a lack of practice, strong habits that do not serve you, and also a matter of not fully realizing through experience how much power you really do have in the way you think…life still seems to be something that is happening to you and not something that is happening through you. This is simply where you are on your journey though life, not a judgment about where you should be.

(Most of my advice removed for the reasons stated below.)

“I feel I need to get a handle on it all, somewhere, either the root of it, or to just change it…“

Get control over your thoughts and give up trying to control the disease or the disease process…

(Most of my advice removed for the reasons stated below.)

“And, I feel I do change my energy and thinking when I’m around her — although I know my personal thoughts, even when not around her still have an adverse affect on her. These thoughts are strongest when I’m alone. When I’m around her, I notice my thoughts switch to those that are only loving and I feel as if I’m glowing from within and I just stare at her and smile (and she finds it creepy, lol) and during these times my thoughts are about how happy I am she’s alive and how grateful I am that I have each moment I’m in, with her…able to sit next to her, talk to her, love her, and on an on. There’s so much more to each moment in any given day, but just too much to relay here. So, I guess what I’m trying to say is that it’s almost as if I bounce from one extreme to another. I’ll find a good balance. I can feel I will. And, I am conscious of how I think, all the time…for me, at least, a step toward improving.

“I read about your previous wife and her cancer. I want to say I’m sorry for your loss, but somehow it doesn’t seem fitting. I also read how you feel a lot of good experiences came into your life, later, which would not have occurred if she was still in your life. That’s another point I’m not at yet. I can’t imagine caring about life beyond my Daughter’s. And, I understand how that is holding on to thoughts or ideas for whatever reasons, not beneficial to myself…and, not wording it well right now.“

I can’t blame you and you should not blame yourself. I found it very difficult to focus on positive things while my wife was suffering with cancer. I also was not as aware of the need to change my thinking as I am now…

(Most of my advice removed for the reasons stated below.)

“I met many parents who resided with their children on the Oncology floor. Many lost their children. I saw how their thoughts changed with each reality they had to cope with…or accept. Many started off fearful, worried, and angry…full of fight to do all they could to save their children…but, as the illnesses took over, many softened, even some began to look as if they were becoming more at peace, with each turn for the worse with their children. It scared me. I felt as if they had lost the fight within themselves and were giving up on hope…accepting what once wasn’t acceptable. At the same time it scared me, it intrigued me and provided a different kind of hope. Although their seemingly different mindsets were appropriate in the times, wanting to let go so the suffering of the children would end, finding peace within their newly found acceptance - and more than just that, I felt they had lost a part of themselves, as if they had each undergone a lobotomy…content and less emotional…uncaring…although, not true.“

You have witnessed the way in which difficult life circumstances changes people for the better. Those people learned how to go with the flow and enjoy their lives.

(Most of my advice removed for the reasons stated below.)

“So, now you can see…which you probably did to begin with…where a lot of my questioning comes from…imaginative fear…and other type thoughts. Letting go…replacing thoughts…and so much more…I understand. I’m just stuck. And, the more I say it and think it and believe it the more it is so. I know this, lol. And, it’s not funny…Just something I have to really work on…

“And, this was all written without hesitation to say something different, or to correct anything, knowing I haven’t addressed all you wrote to me…but, it is long and repetitive in some words, so I’ll end it now. And, I will read again this last message you’ve written and other replies, as well as other blogs you have written, and hopefully you’ll begin to see a positive change real soon. And, my daughter’s health isn’t the only thing in my life, obviously, but I am the sole legal guardian for my Father, who became paralyzed about 3 years ago (he’s in a nursing home now) and when my Daughter become ill I had to give up our home (live with my Aunt now) and my job, income, security and more…and, I’m not that bad off compared to others…I’m very blessed in many ways and I know so…but, just expressing some of my circumstances…even if I sound like a martyr, lol.

“Anyway, I feel you’ve already generously spent so much time responding to me, so I wouldn’t ask for more, other than maybe in the near future, on other blog topics, etc

“Thank you so much, Michael. You’ve been caring, understanding, generous, and encouraging in many ways. I truly appreciate it.

“Much love,
Caryl“

Caryl, you do have a very good grasp on what you have to do, now it is a matter of practice and learning from the experiences you are having. My heart goes out to you as I am sure so many readers hearts too. You and your daughter will be in all of our prayers…

(There WAS much more to this blog but it has been removed…
see details below)

Click here to read the comments left by those that read the full blog. You will see that MANY people found a lot of help in the content of my blogs. Unfortunately I had to remove the content of most of my blogs for the reason stated further below.You can continue reading my blogs by joining my relationship healing group, the details of which you can find at http://RelationshipAdviceSite.com By joining my healing group you will get…

• The Ultimate Guide to Relationship Healing a four hour Audio Program.
  
• All of my blogs.
  
• MANY hours of additional Audio programs.
  
• Live Tele-Classes given by me where you will have the opportunity to ask your own specific questions.
  
• Access to my coaching via email just like you have seen in my blogs on MySpace.
  

Why did I Remove my Blog Content from MySpace & gr8Wisdom.com?

 I spent more than a year doing free spiritual and relationship counseling on MySpace. If you review the comments on my blogs (which I have left intact for you to review) you can see that I have spent a great deal of time, covered a lot of topics, AND A LOT OF PEOPLE WERE HELPED BY MY ADVICE. I have really enjoyed it and thank all of you who have participated. Many of my friends have touched my heart very deeply. I love you all!

Unfortunately doing it for free has resulted in me not being able to write new blogs or serve as many people as I would like too. Doing it for free has caused me to maintain a fulltime job with not enough time to coach those people who want and need the help I have to offer. By charging for my services I will eventually be able to quit my job and do my spiritual counseling work full time.

My blogs really do contain all you need to know in order to live a healthy and happy life and the live coaching I offer in the healing group fills in the gaps. Please consider joining this group today. http://RelationshipAdviceSite.com

Love and Blessings,
Michael Skowronski
Author of Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story

image credits to Mathew Crawford

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