Is Polygamy Sinful? Does Killing Feel Good?
I had a friend ask me these questions…
“Do you have any teachings about polygamy? Do you believe it is wrong/sinful to love more than one person at a time while in a committed relationship?”
Is it wrong? There is no such thing as an absolute wrong or right. It depends upon you and your situation and what you want to learn about life and yourself. It depends upon your situation and the people you are involved with and what their desires are and how honest you are being with them. I always tell people to feel their way through right and wrong…good feels good…bad feels bad. I wrote an extensive blog on this topic called What is Right or Wrong? Your Feelings are Your Guide! and speak of this in many of my blogs.
Regarding polygamy or having multiple lovers at the same time…Loving multiple people means you never get too close to any of them. This is because life is TOO FULL…we are all too busy, love, real LOVE takes time. Unless you are independently wealthy, or for some reason you don’t have to work for a living, and you have heaps of free time on your hands, sustaining this sort of thing can be very draining. Great sex, heaps of fun, is quite possible with multiple lovers…also you will have to deal with jealousy and people who grew up in a culture where this sort of thing is taboo and even illegal and all the guilt issues that go along with it.
However you will find a couple of things if you remain open and become aware…what you seek outside of yourself, from other people, you have no control of…but if you look for it inside, it is all there and way beyond what another person can ever offer to you.
Is it sinful??? If you consider the definition of sin to be an error or a mistake…if you consider what your truest desire really is…then one day you will see that it is a mistake. But are your desires a mistake? NO…they MUST be fulfilled so that you can understand this world you live in, so you can understand this life you live, so that you can understand how to satisfy your deepest and truest desires.
Do what feels good. When it stops feeling good, do something else. Be aware. Be loving. LET GO OF ALL JUDGEMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Did I emphasize that enough? JUDGMENT is the BIGGEST SIN of all!
“I’ve been thinking about what you wrote and trying to analyze what you said about sin, mistakes and desires. All my life I have been taught that certain things are sin such as the 10 commandments; thou shall not kill, thou shall not lie etc. However, if you are telling me that one should do what feels good to them, then where do you draw the line of what “sin” is. It can’t be acceptable to kill or hurt people in this life just because it “might feel good” to someone who chooses to do that. So could you please clarify what sin is. I understand that we all have desires and that we all make mistakes, but how does sin fit in our world and how does it change us if it is ok to do anything that feels right. I’m just trying to understand. If you could please clarify, I would appreciate it.”
This is a common misunderstand people have when it comes to their feelings. Killing another person does not feel good. It might seem to you like another person enjoys it, but they do not. They harbor extreme guilt for what they have done, for as long as they remember they have done it.
Harming another person might feel good for a moment, a moment when the one doing the harm has been feeling really miserable due to some sort of stress. If they lash out and do some sort of harm to another there is a moment of release which can and does feel good. But that is only in comparison to how bad they had been feeling. Soon afterwards, their actions feel bad, really horribly bad. If they have any awareness they will notice this. If they are not aware, if they stuff their feelings, they are stuffing illness into their body to come out at some future time. They may even notice that they feel bad soon after the release of energy is finished, but they don’t relate it to what they had done. They just feel bad on a regular basis and consider it normal. Many people are hiding their shame; they try to justify their actions. This is why it seems to you that others can derive pleasure from harming others. But over all they don’t enjoy it, they suffer because of it.
“Another thing as far as sin is concerned. I am a parent of three strong willed kids and constantly am redirecting/teaching wrong choices that they make every day. (Judgement) So what is our role as parents in helping them live their life to the fullest? Kids need direction and guidance, but where do you draw the line with them if they have the right to make “bad” choices and learn from them?”
How can you teach your kids when you do not even understand? This is a very big problem that too many people have. You must become aware and educate yourself first before you can teach another. Certainly most people know how to survive and get by…but we all can do much better than just surviving. We can all learn to thrive and to be joyfully alive. Learn this skill so that you can teach it to your children and to anyone else who suffers in life.
Teach your children what I have been teaching you. Teach them to be in touch with their feelings all of the time and to only do things that feel good. Teach them to be loving and harmless in all of their thoughts, words and deeds. Don’t teach them that it is a sin to harm others, teach them that to harm others will make them feel bad. Teach them to pay attention and soon they will notice this correlation themselves and they will understand how to make good choices for the rest of their lives.
Love and Blessings,
Michael Skowronski
Author of Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story
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