Unforgettable Love Story

There was a holy man living on the top of Mt. Arunachala in the town of Tiruvannamalia in the state of Tamil Nadu, India. He had lived there for sixteen years and the only food he consumes is four oz of milk each day. Swami Rama tells us in his book the Path of Fire and Light, Vol 1: Advanced Practices of Yoga that when a yogi is engaging in a lot of pranayama and meditation exercises he does not need very much food, in fact food becomes a hindrance to the practices. It seemed that this holy man was engaged in such practices fulltime.When I traveled to India I was hoping I would meet masters such as this. Tiruvannamalia was the home of a very well known master named Ramana Maharshi who had previously lived on this very same mountain until his death in 1950. The energy inside of his cave home was amazing and helped me to reach a very deep state of meditation with great ease. It was shortly after meditating there that I met a native man who told me of this holy man on the mountain top. He offered to take me to the top to participate in an early morning puja, which is a worship ceremony.

If you click on the View All Images button you can see these photos in larger detail.

We set out at 5:30 am while it was still dark, yet the city was already bustling with spiritual seekers and religious music.We were guided to the top (a 2600 ft or 800 m climb) by a couple of barefoot sherpas who were carrying water and chai tea up on their heads. This hike was strenuous enough for me who was only carrying a back pack, yet both of these men offered to carry my pack for me as well. I could feel it was the kindness of their hearts and not money that motivated them to offer. I politely refused and carried my own load.

We made it to the top just in time to take part in a daily ceremony to receive blessings from the master.You have to think, if someone spends sixteen years in meditation on the top of a mountain, they must be getting somewhere. I can’t imagine anyone doing such a thing in mere hope of finding God. To even begin such an endeavor you would have to have very powerful experiences that would tell you it was a worthwhile thing to do.

It was very cool to be a part of this. There were five kids ages 8 to 13 happily participating too. It was quite magical and I enjoyed the ceremony very much.

Coming back, half way down the mountain, just above Sri Ramana Maharshi’s cave home I hung out on a very large flat boulder for breakfast and a nap. When I woke up I wanted to take the long path back to my hotel room so that I could record the sounds of the wild monkeys I had seen along that path the day before. Unfortunately I did not have the stamina; I was pretty worn out by my morning climb up the mountain. I knew I would have another chance before we left Tiruvannamalia. Well that chance came much sooner than expected; the monkeys came to me.

At first one monkey showed up in the big tree that was providing my shade. She was making a lot of noise so I got some great recordings. When I fed her biscuits she stuffed them into her mouth whole, leaving a rectangular protrusion in her expandable cheeks. If you look at the photos carefully you can see the square shape left by the biscuits. Then she jumped back into the tree to consume them. Later I gave her some spicy fried dried peas; she loved them. She was gentle yet cautious as she took them from my hands. The skin on her hands was softer than I imagined it would be. When I took a banana out she looked like she was going to attack me for it. She had no patience for me to peal it, she wanted it now! I quickly threw it off to the side for her to retrieve. She ate the whole thing including the pealing.

I had to be watchful of my recorder, microphone, backpack and all of its other contents. I kept worrying she would take something or attack me. I made myself a bit frightened. I should have taken greater care with my thoughts, she only wanted the food.

Soon two male monkeys joined us and chased the female off of the boulder and into the tree. It took them a little while to take interest in my food. They were too busy deciding who was going to dominate. At first the little one attacked the big one, then jumped up on his back and buggered him in the rear. This surprised me but later the bigger one dominated the smaller one chasing him away. These two showed their teeth a couple of times, not to frighten me, just in their moving about and chattering with each other. They had two very long fangs on the top and bottom and then regular looking teeth in the rest of their mouth.

More monkeys came to visit and soon I was feeding about six adults and three young ones. All of the larger adults seemed to have big gashes and fresh wounds on their arms, legs, and face. I could see what they get up to with those large fangs of theirs. A few times they would fight with each other, but mostly they circled me, looking for the stray bits of food, as I fed them. I did not really feel that they were going to attack me or become too aggressive, but I did let my imagination run wild. I want to be clear here… the feelings I picked up from the monkeys told me I was safe, yet the thoughts in my mind was making me feel I was in danger. By this time I had place all of my gear into my backpack, except for the microphone which was hanging out to capture the sounds, and my camera which was often in my hands. I sat on the rock so as not to frighten the monkeys away. I wanted them to come close and take the food from my hands. I kept the backpack between my legs and occasionally would set my camera down on it so I could get more food out. A couple of times a monkey (three or four of them each took their turns doing this) approached me and I thought they were going to try and take some of my gear. Then it would turn out that they only wanted a stray pea that was sitting on the rock next to my leg, I wish I would have figured this out sooner than I did.

All of a sudden the largest monkey of all jumped out of the tree, it seemed out of nowhere since I had not seen him before. He jumped down right in front of me, stood up erect, and raised his arms and hands into the air. He had a large gash on his upper lip which left a big split through which I could see his teeth. His right arm also had a major gash on it too. This frightened me; I raised my arms up and yelled at him. Unfortunately I also flailed my legs kicking my camera down the bolder. It bounced many times making expensive sounds that were loud enough to be recorded.

Then the monkey reached down and grabbed yet another pea that was on the boulder right next to my leg and ran away showing me once again how much further I need to go in gaining control over my mind.

I had to do a bit of climbing to recover the camera, which was broken beyond repair. I was able to recover the digital film chip which is why you can see the photos in the slide show. Too bad I did not get a photo of the monkey who scared me; he was really quite a sight.

I made many observations about this experience. One, I was not in control of my mind even though the monkeys kept showing me they were only interested in food and that they were cautious and not wanting to tangle with me. I had wanted a new camera; I kept complaining how mine took so long to get ready for the next photo that I ended up missing some really great shots. After that I had to buy a new one. I wanted to record the monkey’s voices. I got to do that and they came to me. The Universe showed me that all is well even though the thing I feared (loosing some of my gear) actually happened. I had a fantastic experience and I have another great story to tell.

Speaking of adventures in India…below are links to some very popular stories of how I happened into an arranged marriage when I went to India to write my book. This story about the monkeys happened about a month before these next stories took place.

Part 1 - A Marriage Made in Heaven

Part 2 - The Suicide and the Accident

A Side Story - The Elephants of India

Part 3 - The Kidnapping and the Wedding

Part 4 - The Honeymoon and the Truth about Eju

And if you like these stories I am certain you will love my book Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story. I would like to ask you to buy my book, read it, ENJOY it, and tell all of your friends about it. You would be supporting me and all that I do here in teaching practical spirituality and the free spiritual counseling for so many of my friends here on MySpace.

Love and Blessings,
Michael Skowronski
Author of Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story

Popularity: 7% [?]

Imagine for a moment that you had all of the money you could ever need. Imagine also that you met a lover who really understood you, loved you, cared for you and nurtured you. This lover is a person who you are physically attracted to, admire and enjoy spending time with. This lover gives you respect, understands your mood swings, and gives you the space you need when you need it. Imagine that you both had great health, plenty of free time and traveled the world staying in each place as long as you liked and then moved on to the next location that called to you.

Imagine tropical beaches and snorkeling with colorful fish. Imagine the warmth of the sun on your naked flesh, and the cooling retreat of a shady tree with your favorite drink, a great book, beautiful music…or merely the sounds of the sea if that is what you prefer. Imagine a cruise ship taking you past one beautiful location after another, dancing and laughing till the wee hours of the night and sleeping in as long as you wish. Imagine skiing gracefully down a sunny mountain slope enjoying fresh powder that fell the night before. Imagine hiking in ancient forests, viewing waterfalls, wild life and spectacular views.

Imagine making wonderful friends along the way and the laughter of children occupying as much of your time as you liked. Imagine finding three really great places in various parts of the world you could call home and either building or buying a home there. Imagine that you touched the lives of others such that they too admired and looked up to you. Imagine that you could actually help people discover the power and love that lives inside of them and witnessing them change as your influence touched their hearts and lives. Imagine whatever else would make you feel good to go along with this scenario.

What if that actually happened?

What if your life were actually that way? How would you feel? How does it make you feel to imagine it? Stop reading for a moment…take that vision in and feel it.

That is my favorite scenario to imagine. In many ways I already have enjoyed living that scenario. You know it is a great way to live. You definitely feel motivated to get up in the morning to start your day. It energized me greatly to write it out like that. I lived that dream while I was writing it and I felt it too. It felt great! You can make up your own scenario and you will benefit the most if you write it out just like I did. This is a very powerful way to boost your spirits and make you feel good.

However, the down side is that some people then get depressed over this. They look at their lives and don’t think they can ever be there. They believe it is impossible to achieve. They spend time thinking about how impossible it is and as they do so they become more and more depressed, angry, frustrated and sad. This is most certainly the wrong thing to do…unless you want these negative emotions.

The truth of life is that YOU CAN live this sort of life… even if you are 99 years old or suffering from a terminal illness. I guarantee that eventually you will get everything you ever desire, or that your desires will change as you move through life and evolve. So it is definitely worth dreaming like this.

Dreaming like this will give you an immediate good feeling. Doing it regularly will make it a habit in your mind and also make it easy to step into the dream anytime you are feeling depressed, angry or sad about something else. Once you are in a good feeling state your creativity is high and you are much better able to deal with whatever is right in front of you at the moment.

But dreaming like this has a far greater and lasting effect…it changes you and your vibration. It sets into motion a series of events that causes you to become the kind of person that will be able to have this vision you have imagined. Perhaps you will get fired from your job, only to be hired by an international corporation that wants you to travel. Perhaps an opportunity comes to learn a new skill that will eventually lead to the wealth you need to live this sort of life. The stepping stones begin to appear.

Perhaps you die (in some natural or accidental way, not suicide) so that you can be reborn into a new healthy body and in circumstances that better support this dream in becoming a manifest reality. (If this concept frightens you then you really should spend time studying death and the MANY writings of those who remember their experiences with it so that you get over your fears. Your body WILL DIE ONE DAY…better get used to it. And your departure from this body, this thing we call death, will not be the end of your journey. The journey of your life is eternal and ongoing.)

So this is the thing we call Law of Attraction. You change your vibration by changing your thinking and thus you attract different things into your life. If you continue however to focus on the path you are on, the path that is depressing you, or making you angry, or sad, or bored, or whatever it is that you do not want…if you continue to focus on those things they will continue to be your point of attraction and you will certainly get more of it.

So dream…DREAM BIG…Dream Often…dream of the life you want to live. Practice that dream. Write out that dream. Refine that dream. If you do this, one day that dream WILL come true!

How do I know? I have lived many such dreams throughout my life. In my book Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story I tell many stories of such dreams and their manifestation…like needing more money, dreaming about more money, and then getting fired from a job only to immediately get a month’s worth of severance pay on top of unemployment benefits, and a new much better paying job about three weeks later. But that is not all…read the book, it will blow you away just how many miraculous coincidences I have experienced that absolutely verify that the invisible Law of Attraction is indeed at work in our lives just like the Law of Gravity is.

Love and Blessings,
Michael Skowronski
Author of Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story

Popularity: 8% [?]

A friend made the following comment in my blog The Evolution of a Soul…

Psy  What are we exactly when we are not in a physical body and we are just in a mental or psychic body? What would I look like to a physical body if I were just a mental and psychic body? Is that what ghosts are… the paranormal… orbs? And while we are in a physical body living in a physical lifetime, can we experience what it’s like to be just a mental body or a psychic body? I ask this question because there’s been several times I have dissociated and depersonalized from myself ( both on and not on drugs) and I did not feel like a physical being but rather as something else I couldn’t explain…

Also, as you [Michael Skowronski] said [in the blog Evolution of a Soul]: 

 ”If in a lifetime where sexual appetites were created by a man who forced sex upon his own or other children, or others who were physically weaker than he was, then a lifetime where he is unwillingly forced to meet the sexual appetites of others is created. You will find that in some past eras this was considered natural and normal in certain cultures and in this era it is considered perverted. As many individuals have experienced both sides of this issue humanity as a whole has changed its view on the situation and it is rare to find a culture that supports it.”

Is this why there is an overwhelming amount of rapes, abortions, and sexual abuse on the planet? If humanity as a whole has changed it’s view on forced sex especially involving children, then was it ever okay or was it always wrong? Are we wrong for thinking it’s wrong or are we right for changing our view? For thinking it’s wrong, is that why sexual dysfunctions and tortures disturb our planet?

Wow, those are deep questions…

I think this might help you to understand who you are compared to manifest reality and your various bodies…

Consider your MySpace pages. You created them, put pictures, and music, and videos on them. You wrote out your thoughts in blogs and in other symbolic ways.

Now what if it were possible to project just a bit of your consciousness into that creation? What if you could distinctly experience living on your MySpace profile page both as an observer and also as a visitor to your page? When a visitor came and had a look you experienced their visit, you could tell how much time they spent, you felt their feelings your creation evoked in them as well as your reaction to the way they felt about your page. While all of this was occurring you mostly experienced yourself as your human self outside of your computer, the creator of the profile page and blogs, who was taking in the various experiences of the visitors to your pages.

What are We when We are not in a physical body?

We just are. Our physical bodies exist inside of the real Us, it is not the other way around. We only put a part of Our focus inside of the body for a period of time. In one sense We are always NOT in a physical body. In another sense We are always in numerous physical bodies. This is due to the fact that it all happens in the now. There is no such thing as time. Or you could see time as just a specific point of focus within Our divine creation. The big We is aware of the small ego being focused inside of the body, while that small ego being is NOT aware of the big We…but then that is the purpose of our physical body; it is the vehicle for our ego being to experience just a limited portion of creation.

What would I look like to a physical body if I were just a mental and psychic body? Is that what ghosts are… the paranormal… orbs?

Those in mental and psychic bodies are invisible to those in the physical body.

I have not seen ghosts, the paranormal or orbs. I have however read what masters have said about such things, and I have had inner experiences of such things, but not physical ones as in seeing ghosts or orbs with my eyes. So take what I say next from that perspective…

The sensors of your physical body pick up vibrations of physical objects. You simultaneously inhabit a mental and psychic body while in a physical body. Vibrations picked up by the physical sensors impress upon the mental and psychic bodies. Impressions from psychic and mental bodies do create vibrational and chemical changes in the physical body. Thus I would say that when a person “sees” a ghost or an orb it is in reality a vibration picked up by the psychic or mental bodies that has impressed itself on the physical body thus creating the experience of seeing it while in reality the physical sensors are not really picking it up at all.

And while we are in a physical body living in a physical lifetime, can we experience what it’s like to be just a mental body or a psychic body?

Yes masters do this with great skill and no the average person does not…However, it is easy for anyone to have a partial experience of these three distinct bodies. The limitations that still bind you and I as well as most of humanity, obviously do not bind all human beings. Again I am going on the writings of many who have conscious and deliberate control of experiences that many of us have only experienced do to trauma, near death experiences, spontaneous rapturous Samadhi, or drugs. The thing that is interesting is that there are those who describe in great depth that which most of us never experience or only experience rarely and briefly.

A good practice to engage in, one that will give you this experience... close your eyes and do some deep breathing with the intention of relaxing deeply. Then take turns focusing on your physical senses, your emotional feelings, and your mental thoughts. Carefully focus and observe each distinctly for a period of time then move on to the next body of experience.

For example you can focus on how your hands feel on your lap, you can open and close your eyes, feeling the eye lids and noticing the visual image, you can focus on what you hear. Make only slight and gentle movements and observe.

Then switch to your emotional feelings, observe how you feel emotionally. If you are doing this correctly you will probably feel calm and peaceful. So to feel other things you will need to think about something that was embarrassing or painful or happy or something you judge. But don’t focus on the thoughts, focus on how the thoughts affect your emotional state. That is observing your psychic body. And this is how you can psychically read others too. By focusing on another person and how your emotions feel you can gain an understanding of what is going on in the mind of another. This is because our thoughts directly affect our emotional/psychic body and you can relate those feelings to the nature of their thoughts.

Then switch to your thoughts. Observe your thoughts in a way that is detached from the feelings they create. Think about thinking and observe. Be creative. Construct an orange, and apple, a hand, a building…do it all with your mind.

Then notice how easy it was to lose track of your physical body while thinking or feeling. Move between these three different points of focus many times. Just as there is a physical world or dimension, there is a distinct psychic or emotional world and there is also a distinct mental or noetic dimension too. Exercises like this will help you become more adept in moving in these dimensions and eventually the grander reality of these dimensions we share in common with all other beings. Again, I will emphasize that I am reporting what I have learned through reading, which is reinforced with only a novice’s level of experience. In NO WAY do I claim mastery over these dimensions or experiences.

Those in mental and psychic bodies are invisible to those in the physical body.

I have not seen ghosts, the paranormal or orbs. I have however read what masters have said about such things, and I have had inner experiences of such things, but not physical ones as in seeing ghosts or orbs with my eyes. So take what I say next from that perspective…

The sensors of your physical body pick up vibrations of physical objects. You simultaneously inhabit a mental and psychic body while in a physical body. Vibrations picked up by the physical sensors impress upon the mental and psychic bodies. Impressions from psychic and mental bodies do create vibrational and chemical changes in the physical body. Thus I would say that when a person “sees” a ghost or an orb it is in reality a vibration picked up by the psychic or mental bodies that has impressed itself on the physical body thus creating the experience of seeing it while in reality the physical sensors are not really picking it up at all.

Is this why there is an overwhelming amount of rapes, abortions, and sexual abuse on the planet?

I suspect the “overwhelming amount” is due to awareness rather than actual occurrences. I suspect, and have seen statistics, that state in fact there is far less now, as a percentage of the population, than in the past. Due to mass media and people coming out into the open, the horrific events seem bigger now than in the past, when in reality it was happening more in the past but it was not being reported in such a big way.

If humanity as a whole has changed it’s view on forced sex especially involving children, then was it ever okay or was it always wrong?

God divide Himself up into many very small fragments of focus, each with undeveloped memory, personality, and habits of thought and entered into Her animal creation that we know as Homosapien. In the beginning this fragment of God simply experienced an animal existence, not knowing or understanding the consequences of His thoughts and actions. In time memory, habits of thought and personality developed along with understanding and the ability to change these habits of thought and action.

The idea of right and wrong is flawed. At one point we did not understand. Now more of us do, and some of us are still learning. Was it always wrong? Abusive behaviors always caused pain and suffering, this much is true.  However in the past the pain and suffering was probably less because the society had not created judgments of such actions yet, there was no condemnation of promiscuous sexual behaviors, there was probably less resistance on behalf of the victim thus the perpetrator was just asserting their superior physical strength much as we see animals do.

Are we wrong for thinking it’s wrong or are we right for changing our view? For thinking it’s wrong, is that why sexual dysfunctions and tortures disturb our planet?

Harming another always causes pain and suffering. Judgment also causes pain and suffering. Go back to the exercise I gave earlier and think different things and feel how each thing feels. When you move into judgmental thoughts you will feel pain and you will suffer. So just like a sexual predator will eventually gain enough experience to understand the consequences of their actions so will one who judges gain enough experience to understand the consequences of their actions too.

I would say that sexual interactions have occurred between an adult and a child that are pleasant and are appreciated. This is NOT spoken from experience, but from reports I have heard from others. However, such interactions are very likely to lead to habits of strong desire and many more interactions which are NOT pleasant and NOT appreciated.

It is my guess that this is how this whole mess began. I don’t really believe that any of us sought evil for the sake of evil, but that we developed evil habits of thought and action due to a lack of understanding of where certain thoughts and actions would lead us. We gained this understanding of evil by experiencing the pain of our thoughts and actions. Judgment and punishment has pushed those who were slow to understand and change deeper into their dysfunctional states until it appeared as if they were intentionally evil. Now such beings have a long road to travel to pull themselves out of the very deep habits they have created within themselves.

I hope that as you read this you can understand just how harmful and destructive judgment is. In many ways judgment produces the greatest harm of all. I say this because people with seemingly loving hearts and rational minds still believe judgment of certain things are appropriate and necessary.

Love and Blessings,
Michael Skowronski
Author of Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story 

Popularity: 8% [?]

Thought Tagging is an essential Ancient Technology you can use to change unwanted behaviors. Where would spiritual growth and personal development be without this technique? Do you understand how to tag your thoughts? Do you know what to do once the tags are triggered?

We walk through life unconscious most of the time. And there are certain situations which push our buttons, so to speak. When they do, and we are unconscious, we react automatically from whatever programming we have in our past.

Tagging your thoughts and actions is like putting a wakeup call on a thought or action. Anytime the thought occurs an alarm goes off. Any time you engage in an action the alarm goes off. You then have the opportunity to become conscious and decide how to respond rather than reacting in a way that you know is hazardous to your well being.

Tagging your thought is a simple process:

1. Decide which thought or action you wish to tag.

2. Close your eyes, breathe deeply, relax and get centered.

3. Focus on the thought or action to be tagged and ask yourself, “What are my buttons, under what circumstances are these thoughts triggered?”

4. Decide what new thoughts or actions you want to become automatic. What do you want your new habit of thinking to be? Create a script.

5. Imagine becoming conscious when tag is triggered, just like a button was pressed and an alarm went off. Imagine yourself remembering that you have a new program to install, to put into practice.

6. Imagine yourself consciously and deliberately changing the thinking or action. Act out the new script in your mind.

7. Repeat these steps as often as needed. You will know you are successful when you become conscious everytime you find yourself in the situation you are attempting to tag.

What to do once the tag is triggered:

1. Stop and let yourself become conscious. Breathe deeply.

2. Take your time and proceed slowly.

3. Remember the new thought; explore it, contemplate it. If it is an action, perform the new action, even if you have to undo the old action and redo the new action. Review why it is that you want the new thought or action to become dominant.

4. Feel the energy of the new thought or action. If it does not feel good you have not chosen a replacement thought that will take you were you want to go in life. Come up with a replacement thought that does feel good. Stick with, keep reaching for new thoughts, until it does feel good.

Remember you are reprogramming yourself here. You need to practice the new program for it to be effective. Even if you make the mistake of automatically falling into old patterns, it is VERY IMPORTANT to rethink or redo the thought or action the new way. You MUST practice if you want the new behavior to automatically replace the old behavior. Practice is what will create your new habit of thought and action.

Mental practice is just as good as physical practice when it comes to physical actions. You can change physical behaviors by mentally practicing the desired new behavior.

Also check out my blog posting titled Reprogramming Self which has more information about changing your automatic thought and behavior patterns.

Love and Blessings,
Michael Skowronski
Author of Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story

P.S. For an enjoyable read that will make you laugh and bring you to tears check out my book Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story. This is a true story that is a good example of spiritual principals being intentionally applied and unintentionally misapplied. The results speak for themselves.

Full book reviews can be found on Amazon.com and BarnesAndNoble.com

Popularity: 8% [?]

There are people who feel the moods, emotions and intentions of other people when they come upon them or think about them. In some cases when there is a close family connection, like spouse or children, they will spontaneously feel it when a dramatic change in emotions occurs in their loved one. We call these people an empath. When walking into a room full of people they can be overwhelmed with all of the emotional content of the room; it can be quite trying at times.  If their loved one has hurt their back, or has a migraine, or feels panic, or unrest, or whatever, before the loved one even comes home or calls, the empath’s back hurts or they feel a sense of panic, just like their loved one was feeling. Often these empaths heal those who suffer by taking on the injury or emotional stress themselves.

My late wife Kathryn had this gift, which can sometimes feel like a curse. When I first met her she did not know how to buffer and protect herself. Some members of her family and some of her friends would think she was crazy if she ever talked about it with them. Kathryn knew she had this gift, but she did not know how to buffer and protect herself. I have had more than one friend write me with this same problem asking…

How Can Empaths Buffer and Protect Themselves?

First you need to know that being an empath is normal and natural, but perhaps only one percent of the population (a guesstimate) is empathic like this. However it is quite common to find such people due to the fact that one percent of 6.5 billion people comes out to 6.5 million people with such ability.

Did you read my blog Helping Others – Reiki, Energy, and Physical Support? The story in that blog is about my first Reiki experiences with Kathryn taken from my book Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story. It describes how her empathic and psychic abilities came out and how she taught me to use my mind properly for energy healing. My book gives more real life examples of how this gift manifested in Kathryn and how it impacted our lives. I highly recommend this book to anyone who is learning how to deal with being an empath.

Intention is the key to buffering and protecting yourself. At some point in your eternal life you decided being and empathic healer was what you wanted to do and experience. Now that you have experienced it, you realize you need to protect yourself too. So now you need to make it your intention to learn this skill of buffering yourself. For me buffering myself comes easy and naturally, but I have to be more deliberate and intentional to get in touch with my psychic skills. For the empath the opposite is true. But you can do it. When I say make it your intention that means to be clear in your mind, stop and think about it, ask yourself, “Is this really important to me?” Then decide “YES! I will learn this. God please bring me the exact guidance I need” and practice!

To buffer yourself you need to learn to care for yourself more. You care very deeply about other people and this is why you are so open to receiving their energy. It is okay to receive the message that a loved one is suffering and in what way they are suffering, but then it is time to turn it off before it does you any harm. You need to deliberately reprogram yourself such that you remember to consciously turn off the empathy and do the prayers and visualizations required to protect yourself.

The basic thing you need to do at the time you feel their pain is to say a brief prayer, surround them with love and light, ask the Holy Spirit to give them the energy they need to resolve their own problem and then detach yourself from them and their energy.

Begin visualizing your own energy flowing to you from God and staying with you. To protect your energy field you can combine the two visualizations I give below, start by drawing the star and then surround yourself and the star with the white luminous egg shaped energy field. These visualizations are important because they will create real energy forms called elementals that protect you and let you be you while these others can be themselves.

In this blog Meditation and the Wandering Mind I explain the process of meditation, the purpose of meditation, the importance of practice, and why you must stick with it even if you feel it is difficult. I encourage you to read that blog too so I don’t have to re-explain those things here in this blog.

The important visualization you need to practice is to imagine yourself being surrounded by a white luminous egg shaped energy field. Another visualization to practice and use is the five pointed star. Imagine yourself standing with legs spread and arms stretched out to your side. Start drawing a line with white light from your left hand across your body to the right hand, then down to the left foot, then up to the crown of your head, then down to the right foot, and finally back to the left hand to complete the five pointed star. Draw the star so that you are inside of the star.

So to summarize what you need to do…

1. Be aware you are picking something up, acknowledge it.
2. Send them the healing energy they need.
3. Protect yourself, separate yourself from their energy. Be deliberate, be intentional and it will happen.

On a similar note I had situation with my own mother where she was taking energy from me, even though we lived 1300 miles away from each other. I used a different visualization and got a very dramatic result. That story is also in my book…if you liked this blog you really do need to read this book. This and many other personal experiences I have had tell me that our minds have a lot of power. Taking the time to be intentional in our thoughts really does make a difference.

Love and Blessings,
Michael Skowronski
Author of Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story

Popularity: 7% [?]

How do you attract the right kind of lover? By being a vibrational energetic match to the kind of lover you wish to attract! People are really confused about how life works when they say, “Why do I always attract the wrong kind of person?” It is because the person you are attracted to is mirroring something back to you that you need to see. The fact that you are asking the question means you don’t see it. If you make it your intention to see it then you can change and move on sooner. If you simply blame it on the others, you may stay in a seemingly endless pattern of attracting the same kind of person until you do see what it is that is in you that attracts such people.

While I was dating I met many women who said they wanted a kind and loving man; one who was interested in spiritual growth. Yet when they looked at me they could NOT recognize that I had those qualities. And the men they were attracted to, the ones who they had that chemistry with, those were usually the men who did not have those qualities. Not being able to recognize certain qualities means you don’t have them yourself or that something inside of you, some conflicting desire you hold, is blinding you to what is really there.

Later in life, those women who were paying attention, who were learning from life and healing their self-esteem found themselves naturally attracted to those kind, loving men who were interested in spiritual growth and they lost their attraction for the rough and abusive sort of men.

If you just want a relationship and are desperate to have one, you may find yourself in a difficult place. On one hand a person you meet and get involved with may not be the perfect fit you desire, but hormones, family pressure, financial challenges, having children or a lack of experience and awareness can get you caught up with someone who does great harm in your life. But if you focus primarily on taking care of yourself and your own needs, if you grow and learn to love yourself, then you will find you have the luxury to be patient and to pick and choose.

My wife Shyni had that sort of patience and waited until she was thirty years old. Did she miss out by not having other lovers before she met me? Some would say yes, but she never had the dramas and traumas that others had either. And being a single mother of an adopted child and the primary wage earner for her brother and mother, she did not waste her energy on men who would use her and abuse her. Shyni never regretted her decision.

I was impatient, inexperienced and unaware and married two women that ended in divorce. I was deeply hurt by those women and what I perceived they did to me. I dated many other women, and was sexually active. I had a very high income during those years, yet had nothing to show for it later in my life. Did I make a mistake? In many ways yes; if I knew then what I know now, I certainly would have done things different…but I did not know. Those relationships taught me many things about life, other people and myself; wisdom gained from experience which I am sharing with many people today. So we do need to be careful what we label a mistake and what we label missing out. Awareness and shifting your perspective is always helpful.

Things to be Aware Of

Be clear in what you will accept and what you will not accept. Draw your boundaries carefully. One issue many women have is with men wanting to share out their women, or wanting multiple lovers at the same time. There is nothing wrong with this if this is what you want too. But if it is not, then there is everything wrong with it. Our desires are creative!!! If a man wants this and you do not, or vice versa, then you are not a match. Even if he/she says they are willing to give up their desires to be with you, eventually the desire will create! It must, that is how life works. Then there will be apologies such as, “I did not mean that to happen, it just happened.” So do not settle. Find the lover that is the right match for your sexual preferences.

If you do settle be prepared to deal with the inevitable playing around that will happen. Don’t blame it on him, you were warned. Don’t judge him either. It is natural and hormonal for men to be like that. Also it has to do with his self-esteem that needs a boost and him not understanding how to do that for himself. Don’t blame it on yourself either, that is what he wanted, what he needed, and what he created. It does not matter how beautiful, how loving, how helpful, or how rich or whatever you try to be. If someone wants something that you do not have to offer they will find a way to fulfill it.

There is a real easy way to find out what a person wants sexually. Ask! But you must be clever in how you ask.

Men, and even some women, get all kinds of crazy ideas about sex, multiple lovers, group sex or swapping are just some of them. Men are animals! Okay sometimes it is the other way around, but not usually. Of course this is a generalization and it is the reason why you need to ask. It is pretty easy to sort it out right from the start…ask them. When you meet a new man ask, “Do you like to share?” Use a sexy voice; make it look like you want that. Do they want group sex? Any other ideas ask…most men who want such a thing will think, Wow, I have a hot one here, let’s go for it, and they will respond accordingly. But the men who find that repugnant will also respond accordingly. Then blow off the men who don’t suit your needs. Go further with the men who reject such ideas. If they think you are not right, just tell them you were testing them, which is the truth.

Men can ask the same sort of questions to the women they meet. If a woman says she does not want that, it is very unlikely that you will convince her. If you do beg and plead and manipulate her into accepting it, and you do have sex with other women, there will be hurt feelings and trouble. Most people know what they want. They don’t need to be convinced or manipulated. If you find yourself doing that you are really wasting a lot of energy. Lying about it won’t get you what you want either. It may get you more sex, but it will also get you a lot of pain. Not just the immediate pain you get from breaking one woman’s trust, but there will be karmic repercussions too! You don’t need to do that. Law of Attraction can match you up with women who are sexually playful or who understand that some men like a bit of variety. Yes there are women out there like that. And it is more likely to happen if you don’t waste your time with the women who don’t want that sort of thing when you do.

Be aware that there are sexual predators that will get involved with you with the view to also have sex with your children. They certainly won’t announce this. But those kinds of personalities often go with abusive men. So watch out for such things.

Watch out for anger and judgment. In the beginning a person might be real nice and loving to you, but how do they treat others? If he or she is mean, judgmental or easily gets angry at others, then one day they will be doing it to you or your children. How do they talk about other people? One day they will talk about you in the same way. If they have harsh ideas about crime and punishment, then one day when you do something they do not like that harshness will turn on you.

What kind of movies and TV do they watch? Movies and TV are influencing their mind and the habits they are developing. They are also a reflection of that which is already in their mind. Ask them how their shows make them feel. Do you want your mate to like feeling that way? How often do they watch? Or do they tend to do other things to relax or use their free time to educate themselves? These things are pretty easy to observe. They are not likely to change, at least not if it is you that is asking for them to change. People must want to change and intend to do so.

A secretive person can drive you nuts and most likely has something to hide. Will they share their income with you? Are they generous? Are they forthright with how much money they make? They can give you all sorts of excuses as to why they hide or keep their money solely for themselves and do not share, but in the end that will be the flavor of your relationship.

Are they needy? Do they talk too much? Do they need to be with you all of the time? Do they have to know everything you do, every person you talk to? Are they trying to control you? They will take your energy and leave you exhausted.

Don’t be so desperate to just settle for anybody. If you do, then you must realize it is temporary and will surely end sometime due to a lack of compatibility. You can and should learn to satisfy your own needs for love and peace and happiness. These things do NOT come from others. If you had that understanding from experience then you could be more patient and discerning.

Do the work you need to do on yourself and becoming the kind of person you want to be, someone who gives love, and who feels lovable and worthy of an appropriate partner and Law of Attraction will sort out the rest. Honestly, like attracts like. If you do not love yourself, you will be attracted to someone who will do unloving things to you. If you have abandonment issues you are very likely to be attracted to someone who is always threatening to leave you. If you have anger issues you will find someone to be angry at and you will damage your relationship.

You Cannot Wait Until You Are Perfect

I am NOT saying you should not be in a relationship if you have issues to work out. Most people do have issues and would go entire lifetimes without a relationship if they waited. In fact relationships are one of the best ways to work through such issues. However, you should make it your intention to get to know yourself, know your issues, and be working to clarify them. Be proactive, there is plenty of reading material you can learn from and plenty of classes and seminars.

You should also not be too surprised, and not be too heartbroken, if the relationship ends due to these issues. A breakup is NOT the end of the world. It can happen no matter what you do. If you work through your issues, your partner may no longer be a match for you and one of you may decide to end it. If the issues are not worked out, they may flare up to the point where the relationship is too painful to remain together.

Either way attachment is the source of pain. Happiness does not come from having what you want but from wanting what you have, which could mean the absence of someone else making life more difficult for you. Learn to love what you have and be open to change. Change always brings you something that you desire. So when change comes, welcome it and be curious…There are many things I have wanted, which ones will be coming next? What will I learn along the way? How can I use my new circumstance to become a stronger and more loving person?

So my recommendation is to focus on yourself, what you think, how does your thoughts make you act…and does they serve you? I’ve had some comments on other blogs from many friends who just cannot forgive certain things. Until you do you are likely to attract people with those qualities you cannot forgive into your life, one after another, until you learn the lesson of forgiveness.

I want to remind you of one thing…forgiveness is NOT the same thing as accepting bad behavior in your life. Forgiveness is the absence of judgment; it is about not dwelling upon the harmful actions of others and not wishing them pain and suffering. If you forgive someone you want them to understand, you want them to do better next time and you want them to heal. But forgiveness does not require that you give them the chance to work out their dysfunction in your life.

I also recommend reading these other blogs which also give good insight into relationships at their various stages.

* Relationship Break Ups – How to Cope
* The Secret to Creating Lasting Romance
* Self Healing Guide – From Misery to Bliss

My book Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story is a great guide to healthy relationships. It gives many concrete examples of things I did right, things I did wrong, and how I learned my lessons to move beyond the pain as well as the issues my late wife was dealing with. Those experiences brought me to be this man who finally has healthy loving relationships and finds it easy to draw boundaries and stick to them.

Love and Blessings,
Michael Skowronski
Author of Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story

Popularity: 7% [?]