
While conversing through comments The Golden Compass with my friend Caryl I came to find out about her situation with her daughter who had cancer. Because the conversation in that blog got off topic and because of a statement that I made regarding how our thoughts are creative spurred the following statement from Caryl I thought I would write this blog to help clarify in greater detail how our thoughts create and how Law of Attraction actually works in relationship to diseases such as cancer.
Caryl’s aka Miss Màdamn comment…
One more thing I have heard you repeat, that does somewhat bother me, is that you say (loosely paraphrased here) — our thoughts bring about the experiences, hardships, etc. that come our way. Neither my child nor I thought about disease or anything negative of this type to manifest this experience. It was shocking and far from anything we’d consciously or subconsciously think about. So, I’m hoping you mean that a lot of things can surface from our thinking, rather than all.
As I began to answer this question it too went somewhat off topic, actually a new topic arose, one which will answer the questions of many people about many issues in their lives. I posted that blog and called it Evolution of a Soul.
A few days after posting that blog Caryl said, “This is a great blog… A lot of answers, to questions I asked of you, are within it… and beyond. Thank you :)”
So go and read that blog! It will give context to the answers I am giving here. Even still I want to answer Caryl’s other questions and an email she sent me a bit more directly and with more specifics regarding disease.
Taken from my blog Evolution of a Soul:
Like attracts like. We attract things to us based on our dominant vibrations. These vibrations are formed by our thoughts and our feelings tell us the nature of these energies. Life is filled with random events, people and things that pass us by on a continuous basis. Yet we only tune into a small fragment of what is passing us by. This tuning in occurs based on our vibration that was created by our thoughts. If we have a desire, but are lost in the “whoa is me” sort of thinking, our desire can float on by and not be noticed due to the mismatch in our vibration. But if you are happy and carefree and feeling good you will notice your desire as it floats on by and reel it in.
Here is the last email Caryl sent me about this topic along with my comments…
I replied to your newest blog reply, before reading this [my last comment to her in the Golden Compass Blog…this takes off where the comments in that blog left off…click here to read the comments in that blog search for Caryl’s picture]. It’s so difficult to reply in short and say all that’s on my mind, in response to what you write. Each time I’ve read again what I’ve written and think of things I should have clarified more. It’s okay. Hopefully, you and others will know there is more, and that I’m not really butting heads with you, just my own thoughts, really. It truly has been of great help to read some of your teachings so far and to hear your words, addressed personally to me. I believe it was meant to be.
My Daughter doesn’t exhibit a lot of stress in her life. She is unaware of the new findings, though. There’s nothing that can be done at this point and I wanted to let her get through Christmas and her birthday, worry-free, before we deal with anything we may have to in the near months. Her birthday is January 3rd and she will be 18. She was diagnosed the October before last, at age 16. She was in kidney failure and later developed an intestinal blockage, as well as many other chemo related complications…line infections, allergic reactions, and a whole lot more. We spent 4-1/2 months in the hospital, through all of the holidays last year and her 17th birthday, which she was in the Oncology ICU at the time. She went through 15 surgeries…5 rounds of aggressive chemo…illness, etc. in that short time. But, today, she is much better. She was very close to death upon her initial hospital admission. After her release from treatment, she was admitted again, due to a severe drug withdraw, which almost took her life again…the doctors forgot to wean her off of a drug. So, all in all, I should be elated that she made it through so much, a couple of close calls, and more…and, I was…and her future looked bright, to suddenly be dulled again by a ‘possible’ recurrence. I know I should be happy she’s not in a ‘true’ recurrence…but, I’m stuck, as I’ve said before.
I understand it’s my own doing, my own thoughts, and it’s of no use to myself or my daughter. I know this…something is keeping me attached to the fear and worry, though…And, I fear I will be the cause of a negative outcome, over a positive one that she stays well. Part of why I questioned your words about our thoughts leading to outcomes we create…One thought leads to another and begins to spiral out of control. I understand this…and, I understand I have the power to control it, however I don’t understand why I’m not.
Your lack of control is a matter of a lack of practice, strong habits that do not serve you, and also a matter of not fully realizing through experience how much power you really do have in the way you think…life still seems to be something that is happening to you and not something that is happening through you. This is simply where you are on your journey though life, not a judgment about where you should be. As far as being a negative influence goes, you must do the best you can for where you are at. If you worry about it or have fear about it, you remain stuck in the harmful energy.
This information about our thoughts and how it creates our feelings and life experience is not to be used to flog yourself but to improve your experience of life and to evolve. Also to assign the label of negative outcome to ill health and positive outcome to staying well will not help maters either. You can still want health without being attached to it. It is the attachment to it, and the labels you assign to it, and the way you view it that causes the suffering. It takes practice, contemplation, and experience to really understand the difference.
I feel I need to get a handle on it all, somewhere, either the root of it, or to just change it…
Get control over your thoughts and give up trying to control the disease or the disease process. If a new cure emerges, and if it feels right to try the treatment out, then by all means go for it. But until that happens, and at all times, go with the flow of what is happening. In a fast moving river if you swim against the stream you will only exhaust yourself. If you go with it, then you can travel with ease. You can also swim towards the shore while at the same time going with the flow. That is what gaining control of your mind is. I know it is not a perfect analogy since you can’t really remove yourself from the river of life.
And, I feel I do change my energy and thinking when I’m around her — although I know my personal thoughts, even when not around her still have an adverse affect on her. These thoughts are strongest when I’m alone. When I’m around her, I notice my thoughts switch to those that are only loving and I feel as if I’m glowing from within and I just stare at her and smile (and she finds it creepy, lol) and during these times my thoughts are about how happy I am she’s alive and how grateful I am that I have each moment I’m in, with her…able to sit next to her, talk to her, love her, and on an on. There’s so much more to each moment in any given day, but just too much to relay here. So, I guess what I’m trying to say is that it’s almost as if I bounce from one extreme to another. I’ll find a good balance. I can feel I will. And, I am conscious of how I think, all the time…for me, at least, a step toward improving.
I read about your previous wife and her cancer. I want to say I’m sorry for your loss, but somehow it doesn’t seem fitting. I also read how you feel a lot of good experiences came into your life, later, which would not have occurred if she was still in your life. That’s another point I’m not at yet. I can’t imagine caring about life beyond my Daughter’s. And, I understand how that is holding on to thoughts or ideas for whatever reasons, not beneficial to myself…and, not wording it well right now.
I can’t blame you and you should not blame yourself. I found it very difficult to focus on positive things while my wife was suffering with cancer. I also was not as aware of the need to change my thinking as I am now. I also did not have the skill for changing my thoughts as I do now. Much of what I know now is a result of having gone through those and many other painful experiences. You are where you are. Do the best you can and accept what is as best you can. And in all of that you can continue to dream of an ongoing life experience with your daughter, just stop yourself from dwelling on a loss that may or may not come, or on some future reoccurrence of disease that may or may not come.
Change your thinking NOT to change the course of this disease or of your lives, but change your thinking so that you can feel better in the NOW MOMENT. This gives you the best possible experience of life and the best possible chance of things changing…but do not do it to change things in the outer world, because holding on to that as a goal is attachment and it will cause you to suffer.
I met many parents who resided with their children on the Oncology floor. Many lost their children. I saw how their thoughts changed with each reality they had to cope with…or accept. Many started off fearful, worried, and angry…full of fight to do all they could to save their children…but, as the illnesses took over, many softened, even some began to look as if they were becoming more at peace, with each turn for the worse with their children. It scared me. I felt as if they had lost the fight within themselves and were giving up on hope…accepting what once wasn’t acceptable. At the same time it scared me, it intrigued me and provided a different kind of hope. Although their seemingly different mindsets were appropriate in the times, wanting to let go so the suffering of the children would end, finding peace within their newly found acceptance - and more than just that, I felt they had lost a part of themselves, as if they had each undergone a lobotomy…content and less emotional…uncaring…although, not true.
You have witnessed how difficult life circumstances changes people for the better. Those people learned how to go with the flow and enjoy their lives. That is all that this is about. Life is happening NOW, you cannot live in some future time. Struggling to save the future is not necessary nor is it possible. The future will come and if you struggle to save it you still will not have the skills to enjoy the NOW when that future is the NOW. It may have seemed like they had undergone a lobotomy, but in most cases that is not true. They just came to understand how life works. They made the best of a shitty situation. They enjoyed life in spite of what seemed to be going wrong. They enjoyed their last days with their loved one rather than suffering through them and causing their loved one to suffer even more.
So, now you can see…which you probably did to begin with…where a lot of my questioning comes from…imaginative fear…and other type thoughts. Letting go…replacing thoughts…and so much more…I understand. I’m just stuck. And, the more I say it and think it and believe it the more it is so. I know this, lol. And, it’s not funny…Just something I have to really work on…
And, this was all written without hesitation to say something different, or to correct anything, knowing I haven’t addressed all you wrote to me…but, it is long and repetitive in some words, so I’ll end it now. And, I will read again this last message you’ve written and other replies, as well as other blogs you have written, and hopefully you’ll begin to see a positive change real soon. And, my daughter’s health isn’t the only thing in my life, obviously, but I am the sole legal guardian for my Father, who became paralyzed about 3 years ago (he’s in a nursing home now) and when my Daughter become ill I had to give up our home (live with my Aunt now) and my job, income, security and more…and, I’m not that bad off compared to others…I’m very blessed in many ways and I know so…but, just expressing some of my circumstances…even if I sound like a martyr, lol.
Anyway, I feel you’ve already generously spent so much time responding to me, so I wouldn’t ask for more, other than maybe in the near future, on other blog topics, etc
Thank you so much, Michael. You’ve been caring, understanding, generous, and encouraging in many ways. I truly appreciate it.
Much love,
Caryl
Caryl, you do have a very good grasp on what you have to do, now it is a matter of practice and learning from the experiences you are having. My heart goes out to you as I am sure so many readers hearts too. You and your daughter will be in all of our prayers.
You are welcome. I am here to help you and others walk through these difficult life situations. What you shared was honest and nearly everyone on the planet can relate to how you feel. There is no judgment here, only the opportunity to learn and evolve. Make the best of this situation by gaining as much control over your thoughts as you can. Pay attention and continue to feel. Cry when you need to, scream when you need to, and then take control of your mind once again.
One day when I went surfing out in some huge waves I nearly died by being dashed on a rock jetty. The waves were so big that I had to jump off of the pier to even get out into the surf. I caught one good wave and loved the ride. But on the second wave I lost control, fell off my board, and the force of the wave snapped my leash so I lost my board. I tumbled on the bottom of the ocean for a long time. Then I stood on the bottom with foam over my head waiting for it to die down so I could float up to the surface for a breath. (You can’t float in the foam and you can’t breathe in it either.) I could barely hold my breath. Once I was on the surface I tried swimming into the shore but I found myself being sucked into another wave and the whole drama repeated itself more than once. Finally I realized that the next wave that sucked me in and spit me out would spit me out onto a rock jetty and would probably end my life. This time I swam into the wave and dove under it…the sucking energy of the wave helped me do it. I made it past the breakers and the current swept me past the jetty. I was able to catch the next wave and body surf it into shore. Had I continued to fight the waves and current I would have surely died that day. Sometimes we must do the opposite of what it seems like we must do in order to survive.
Remember to have a read of the Evolution of a Soul if you have not already done so. It will explain so much more about this process we call Life. People, places, things, and events may come and go, but life is eternal. There is always more time to have the things you want. It may not happen in this physical life time, but it will happen if it is truly what you want. So let go, trust God, and go with the flow.
Namasté
Michael Skowronski
Author of Unforgettable: A Love and Spiritual Growth Story
image credits to Mathew Crawford
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